Conference moira::parenting_v3

    I've heard that most babies go thru a "Strange" period. Where they cry
    or fuss around strangers and even people they are familiar with. My own
    8 month old daughter does not act this way, but my 10 month old niece
    cry's as soon as she sees my husband in the room. With others she is
    fine, even with complete strangers. Babies have feelings of insecurity
    which i'm sure is perfectly normal. One day she may just snap out of
    it. 4 months is early for this I was told, most children that go thru
    this stage are usually 6 months and older I've noticed.
    
    Sorry I can't give you any first hand experience with this one, my
    daughter has not entered this stage yet.
    
    good luck though,  she will probably out grow these actions before you
    know it.
    
    
    Sandy:-)

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    So much for those behaviorists!  My son was born shy!
    
    I had a child like the basenoter. It was not a stage and until he was
    about 4 years old did NOT like to be in large groups of people and lots
    of noise. Especially as an infant, didn't like anyone he hadn't seen in
    a while to take him from my arms, especially if they were speaking
    loudly!   He's somewhat shy now at six, but is definately not as
    outgoing as his Mother!  Several friends and relatives offered
    criticisms about his being too shy.  If I knew then what I know now,
    I tell them something on the order of "Get out of his face!" or "He 
    needs his own space!" Patience seems to be the best solution.  
     
    We got along a lot better once I realized that we weren't "soul mates" 
    when it came to socializing. {This took me about a year}  Both my son
    and my husband need some time to check out new situations and "warm
    up".       
    
    Rochelle

    My daughter Avanti sounds exactly like the boy in .-1. She is just
    plain shy and "needs her space". She does not like anyone "invading her
    space" and if you laugh too loud you are blacklisted.
    
    She also likes to "check out the people" before she is comfortable with
    them. If you insist to talk to her before she has "sized you up" then
    she will not warm up to you until you start ignoring her.
    
    BTW, she will be 2  in June.

    At around 4 months old my daughter started crying when people
    she didn't know came right up to her, especially men. She
    really howled at the pediatrician at her 4 month checkup. Before
    this time she hadn't minded strangers. She will smile at people
    who keep their distance when they say hello. She likes other
    children but definitely doesn't like loud noise. Most of the time
    others she knows can hold her (dad, grandmother) but there are
    some nights when she just wants mom to hold her and she will cry
    and cry if I leave the room (she's 5+ months now). I stay with her
    but sometimes I do need to use the bathroom!! 
    
    Alice

                     <<< Note 879.0 by ZPOVC::JASMINTEO >>>
                             -< Anti-social baby >-

>>    You can imagine what I am going thru; I can't take my own sweet time
>>    when I take my shower or even run an errand.
    
Ah, yes, I did this with child #1.  I took the phrase "never leave baby
unattended" EXTREMELY LITERALLY.  I didn't think I could leave her in her
seat in another room while I showered or anything.  I was a wreck!  My
advice is just do it.  Your child will not die from crying an extra 10
minutes, nor will she hate you later in life and turn to drugs :-).

Liz

    Ours was the other way around; Steven always wanted his daddy and
    would throw fits when I picked him up.  
    
    We found that in the long run it's better to get the baby used to
    staying with other people, especially the other parent, rather
    than letting the baby always choose which parent got carrying
    duty.  It can be pretty rough on everybody for a bit, but there
    are loving, supportive ways to get the child used to people other
    than the favorite.  Firm but gentle.  You *do* have a right to
    take a shower; the baby's needs are important, but they aren't the
    only needs in the world.  
    
    I guess it's the beginning of learning that other people are real
    and that you have to consider their needs, too, not just your
    own...
    
    --bonnie

    Our first son matched the decsription in the base note and - the
    bad news - this kind of anger lasted until his teens.
    
    As a child, he would tolerate no one coming near him, unless he
    wanted them near him - and then, you had to move and pick him up.
     As the years went by this attitude of I want what I want and only
    what I want - and I want it now, got worse.  
    
    The good news is that the psychiatrist he saw told us he had the
    "difficult child" syndrome and that he'd grow out of it, as he learned
    that he was more likely to get what he wants by being pleasantly
    assertive.
    
    The really good news is that the pyschiatrist was right.
    By the time he got to college he had
    become the nicest, most friendly person you could meet - and he usually
    does get his way.                                     
    
    But it was a long way through childhood to the mature teens.