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Conference moira::parenting_v3

Title:Parenting
Notice:READ 1.27 BEFORE WRITING
Moderator:CSC32::DUBOIS
Created:Wed May 30 1990
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1364
Total number of notes:23848

762.0. "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)" by SUPER7::BROWN (With a capital 'F') Mon Mar 11 1991 13:43

    Well, I've searched this and other versions of Parenting, and can find
    no mention of this subject at all. Probably because it's not very nice;
    but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and it doesn't mean thousands
    of parents a year don't have to deal with it.
    
    The subject is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), Cot Death as
    it's popularly known in the UK, I believe it's called Crib Death in the
    States.
    
    In the UK each year, around 1500 babies die suddenly and inexplicably
    between the ages (rough extremes) of 2 weeks and 2 years old, with a
    peak around 2 to 6 months. My wife, a student studying to be a Medical
    Secretary, has chosen SIDS for her course project, with the main theme
    being the increase in care available now as opposed to say 15 years
    ago. This can be considered to include greater public awareness, and of
    course, acceptance amongst the medical professions.
    
    She has a vested interest in this, indeed we both have; we suffered
    just such a loss some 11 years ago in our early twenties. At the time
    in the UK things were very different from today, believe me, and since
    that time, my wife has been involved in counselling and help for
    bereaved parents, fund-raising for research etc.
    
    So, if there are any of you out there who have anything they would like
    to share, or any information they think could help her in her research,
    please come forward. After she has submitted her paper, she intends to
    massage it a little for consumption by bereaved parents to help them
    come to terms with their loss, and for 'ignorant' members of the public
    to help them understand a little of what happens. There is still a lot
    of work to do in the UK with all the 'authorities' including the
    medical profession.
    
    If you don't want to post anything here, but are prepared to mail
    either myself or Val my wife, please do so. You can reach me at the
    above node, and Val direct on DECWRL::"[email protected]"
    
    Any information is helpful, especially in terms of the aftercare, help,
    and acceptance problems. We already have sources in both the UK and
    Belgium, and would welcome anything from either there, or any where
    else in the world. We guarantee absolute confidentiality if requested.
    
    Many thanks, Laurie. (father of three, 3,6,9)
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name		DateLines
762.1Today (I think) the Oprah Show will discuss SIDSCALS::JENSENTue Mar 12 1991 11:0416
    
    I didn't worry too much about SIDS when we adopted Juli (5 days old).
    Jim, however, was very concerned about it.  He brought the subject up
    amongst family, friends, our Pedi and often got up during the night 
    to check on Juli.
    
    Neither Jim nor I have known anyone who lost a child to SIDS.  Jim said
    his exposure to it came from numerous articles he read.
    
    I heard an advertisement on TV whereby I think today's Oprah show is
    going to address SIDS (Boston area, Channel 5, 4 pm???? check your TV
    guide, please!).  With a 1-1/2 year old, I get very confused and
    forgetful! -- I think it's TODAY'S show.
    
    Dottie
762.2Touchy subject, but realityULTRA::DONAHUETue Mar 12 1991 12:1016
    Not to get off on a tangent... but...

    I am a first time mom of a darling 5 month old boy named Daniel. I
    don't mean to invite doom, but when he is napping, I check on him about
    every hour. I give him a kiss on the back of his head and listen for
    breathing. Don't ask me why, but I do.

    I've known a couple of people who have lost children to SIDS and it
    scares the Hell out of me!! I love Daniel and can't imagine life with
    out him, now that I've been given the chance to give birth to a healthy
    child. I want to see him throw a ball, run on the beach etc.
    
    I would be interested in reading your wife's paper when she is through
    with it. Will she be willing to share it with us?
    
    Norma
762.3STAR::MACKAYC'est la vie!Tue Mar 12 1991 13:3718
    
    About the Oprah Winphrey show - About a month ago, I received a 
    letter from the nurse being interviewed (I forgor her name) saying 
    that she didn't feel comfortable about the show and that people should
    be aware of the situation. The nurse said that she did not
    really want to tape that show after finding out the way the producer
    want to do it. The show did not give her enough time to present 
    the materials the way they should be presented and she believed that
    the show did not do justice to the parents. She also mentioned that
    any complains should be directly to the producers and that she hoped
    to go back and do a more detail program on the subject in the future.
    
    I do not plan to watch the show since I think Oprah Winphrey and I
    are not on the same wavelength. 
    
    
    
    Eva.
762.4Ok, I think it will be released!SUPER7::BROWNWith a capital 'F'Tue Mar 12 1991 14:0711
    RE -2
    
    My wife will be doing her paper on-line, and I expect that she will be
    happy for me to release it to the Net.
    
    Please bear in mind though, that it will be biased towards a UK
    audience. Neverthless, cot death is cot death, and it strikes
    world-wide, and across all social boundaries. If it only helps one
    parent deal with it, that will make me a happy person.
    
    Cheers, Laurie.
762.5he's a healthy 17 months nowCSSE32::RANDALLwaiting for springTue Mar 12 1991 14:2112
    re: .2
    
    I know what you mean. I went through bouts of serious panic with
    David, waking up in the middle of the night and rushing to his
    room sure I'd find him dead.
    
    And I don't know why.  He's my third; I was never like this with
    the other two.  
    
    But boy, was it scary.
    
    --bonnie
762.6Constantly Checking the BabyCSC32::DUBOISThe early bird gets wormsTue Mar 12 1991 16:166
I, too, was constantly checking on my baby.  I would stare and stare to make
*sure* that I saw his back move in a breath.  I would put my head *very*
close to him and listen as best as I could.  We worked so hard to get him;
we were terrified of losing him.

      Carol
762.7SOLVIT::POULINTue Mar 12 1991 16:3211
    I have three children (14, 4 and 16 months) and I still worry about
    them.  I have two friends who lost children to SIDS.  Both babies were
    3 months old.  Both friends belong to a support group and both have
    since had another child.
    
    One of which had a real hard time dealing with the death of her baby
    and so did her older children, to the point where her oldest son didn;t
    want to get attached to the new baby because he was afraid she'd die
    too.  
    
    Carole
762.8I know what you meanSUPER7::BROWNWith a capital 'F'Wed Mar 13 1991 04:5229
    These are all fears that are common to parents, and magnified 1000-fold
    in parents who have suffered a cot death; believe me, I know. We now
    have 3 healthy and happy children, but I can tell you, each and every
    one was a worry to us until they were about 2yo.
    
    It is this kind of thing, and the care and help such worried parents
    can expect from the authorities and other parents, that we are looking
    at. The aspect of the effect on existing, especially older siblings, is
    also an important issue.
    
    When we lost Harriet, the support we got was zero, and the reaction by
    the authorities was hostile and accusing. I still remember to this day
    the trauma of being interviewed by the police the next morning. Two
    detectives bluntly accusing us of murdering her. It was awful.
    Afterwards, when convinced we hadn't, they apologised and said "It's
    part of the job, we have to make sure", but that didn't help. The
    medical profession in the UK at that time was basically ignorant of the
    facts. Yes, it was a traumatic time, and if it hadn't been for the
    fact that our family doctor was supportive and understanding, I'm not
    sure how we could have coped. We were both young, 22 and 24.
    
    However, we found support in the Foundation for the Study of Infant
    Death, and my wife now serves on the local committee, and acts as a
    volunteer counsellor. It is for this reason she is writing the paper.
    So please, any experiences, etc., especially on the after-care aspect,
    even third-hand, send them in. Oh, and thanks to those who have mailed
    me so far.
    
    Cheers, Laurie.
762.9Smoking and SIDSCSC32::DUBOISLoveMon Feb 17 1992 13:0513
In the latest issue of Mothering magazine there is a letter from a SIDS
researcher.  I tried to enter it this weekend, and could not log in, so
will try to paraphrase now and enter it later.

Basically, he said that between 80-90% of all SIDS babies have at least
one parent who smokes.

There was also an article about SIDS in this issue, and it said that since
SIDS is a respiratory problem, that doing things that will *help* breathing
may help against SIDS, and doing things that will make breathing more
difficult may make SIDS more likely.

      Carol