Conference moira::parenting_v3

   No answers, just a suggestion - you should probably contact the
   state and the insurance people directly, and probably in writing if
   you have time for that.  That way you get an "official" answer in
   writing - it could be important to have it in writing if there are
   complications later.  And you may want to retain the services of a
   qualified tax consultant, at least to answer your questions.

   - Tom
   

    I agree with .-1; 
    I'm not sure about differences between states, but
    the laws vary quite a lot between provinces in Canada.
    
    Monica 

	In S.C., apparently all you have to do to claim someone is your wife is 
to claim that they are your wife. :-)

	I friend of mine claimed his live-in girlfriend and her children on his 
taxes long before they were married.


Tracey
	

    Hi,
    
    I'm an unwed mother who also lives with my babies father.  My baby
    has my boyfriend's last name (we found out before he was born that
    this was perfectly legal and that I could have given him any last
    name I wanted to, i.e. Smith, Jones or Kennedy for that matter).  I 
    changed my tax filing status to single/2 after he was born and I will 
    be the one to claim him on my taxes.  It's true that only one of you
    can claim the baby due to the fact that you are unmarried and that you 
    both file separate tax forms, but it doesn't make a difference which
    one of you does.  And your insurance and taxes are completely separate,
    so it doesn't matter if you insure the child or your boyfriend does.
    
    Lori B.

    
    	RE: .3
    
    	That's probably a "common law" marriage, which would be the
    	case here if we'd been together for 7 (?) years.  We've
    	only been together for four...
    
    	RE: .1 and .2
    
    	I'll take that into consideration and will probably go down
    	that path.  I was just hoping someone might have had experience
    	with it already..
    
    	/Kim

    It does vary extensively from state to state.  Check with a
    lawyer or legal aid organization.
    
    --bonnie

    
    Well, ELF says you're from Massachusetts.  We checked with a lawyer
    before deciding there would be no problems in Massachusetts having
    joint children without being married.  The rules are:
    1) you can give your children any name you want.  As the birth clerk
    said, I was free to name my daughter Richard M Nixon if that's what
    I wanted.
    We chose a new last name by sort of merging part of each of our
    last names.  Mine's Perlman.  His is Speciner.  Kids are Perlner.
    (We didn't choose the other possibility...).  Married people can
    also choose any last name -- merged, his, hers, a totally new one,
    hyphenated, etc.
    2) You should fill out a "paternity statement", which they have
    at the hospital.  It's a simple form that has to be signed by both
    of you acknowledging him as the father.  I've forgotten whether you
    need to do that in order to have his name on the birth certificate
    as the father.  Oddly enough, if you are married and want to put
    someone other than your husband as the father on the birth certificate,
    the paternity statement has to be signed by you, the person you're
    claiming is the father, AND you husband.
    3) You should put his name on the birth certificate.
    4) You ought to do wills, but that's true if you're married also.
    5) Once his name is on the birth certificate, and you have the
    paternity statement, he has full rights and responsibilities.  His
    "family plan" medical insurance insures the kids (but not the mother).
    You could sue him for child support, or for custody.  Both of you
    have the same parental rights/responsibilities as if you'd been
    married.
    6) All the dire stories people might say about how kids will be
    outcasts, or made fun of, haven't occurred to us.  Our kids are made
    fun of sometimes, but not for having their parents not be married.
    A large proportion of kids have remarried parents, or divorced parents.
    Kids living with both their biological parents can't possibly raise
    any eyebrows.
    7) There is no common law marriage in Massachusetts.

    
    
    	RE: .7
    
    	Thanks for the all the vital information! Yes, we do live
    	in MA (regrettably).
    
    	I hope you don't mind if I print this out as a "checklist"..
    
    	/Kim
    

    /Kim
    
    My son's daughter was born in Conn and there was no problem there
    with his name going on her birth certificate.
    
    I checked some months back with a friend who has two children and
    who was not married to the kids father (tho they lived together)
    to find out what kinds of problems Michael and Holly might face
    and she told me that she had no problems at all in Mass.
    
    Bonnie

    
    	RE: Bonnie
    
    	Thanks... Lori Barr was kind enough to send me some mail
    	on her situation (since she lives in MA, too) and it 
    	helped a great deal.
    
    	I'm 99.9% positive we'll be going with his last name
    	anyway but I wanted to check other situations as well.
    
    	/Kim