Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Put the *tree* in the playpen so it can't get into mischief!
    
    >> those wire hangers
    
    Huh?  You mean, suspended from the ceiling??
    
    Leslie

    those wire *ornament* hangers....sorry

    Aha, the brain fog cleared when I pressed CTRL/Z... you mean hangers
    for the *ornaments*.  You could use yarn loops.  Of course, a
    determined child could twist yarn around fingers hard enough to cut off
    circulation... but then a 747 could crash into the side of your house,
    too.  Depends on how long the tod is left to his own devices and how
    "demonic" his stubbornness typically is.

   Well, we will be addressing this very question shortly, but to
   report something I have heard:
   
   My mother-in-law told us that she used to tie the tree to the wall
   for protection.  I guess you would attach the rope/cord  somewhere
   near the top of the tree and them tie it off to a screw in the top
   of a doorframe or window-sill for maximum support.
   
   - Tom
   

         Go ahead and put up that tree.  There is nothing as wonderful as
    seeing your child's eyes light up when they see the tree.  Keep fragile
    ornaments to the top of the tree and you should do fine.
    
    Diane
    

    Go for it! I second the recommendations here - tie it to the wall,
    replace the wire hangers with something else (we used thread) and enjoy
    the tree! We did not put as much stuff on the lower branches for the
    first two years, but now we have a little boy who understands the tree
    is for decoration, not climbing or anything else. Get them used to the
    way things are as soon as possible.
    Enjoy!
    JR

    We have #3 at "that age" this year. We've always put a tree up, and the
    first two were 16 mos, and 18 mos when they were toddlers at Christmas
    time. Our third is 20 mos. now.  We have a monstrously heavy cast iron
    tree base which would make it nearly impossible to tip the tree, but
    I'd definitely tie it if we didn't. We never used anything but the
    little wire hangers (or bent paper clips, if we ran out),a nd never had
    a problem. The kids were far more interested in teh ornaments than the
    hangers! We hung non-breakables at the bottom to middle and kep the
    breakable for the middle to top. Actually, we had *far* more trouble
    with first our cat, and then our dog, knocking ornaments off, that with
    the kids doing it! Go ahead....put up that tree!
    
    --dave--

    
    Yes, Jim/I have already come up with a game plan:
                                            
    .  get a tree
    .  secure it to the wall
    .  our tree stand has always been bolted to an apple crate (to provide
       a less tippy base)
    .  use the door gate to close off the front room, yet JA can admire
       the tree to her heart's content from the gate
       (we'll remove the gate when we can be in the front room to watch her)
    .  put the sentimental and breakable ornaments near the top and
       the plastic ones on the bottom
                                                   
    We discounted two other issues:
                                                   
    .  jingle bells on the bottom branches (so we could hear her ...
       however, the bells may also entice and encourage her to "jingle"
       the tree) ... so that idea's OUT!
    .  a small fence around the base of the tree -- right, JA will have
       no trouble climbing over it OR pulling it away -- so that idea's
       OUT, too!
    
    We'd like TO THINK we can "teach" her tree do's/don'ts -- expecting a
    certain margin of failure (some packages WILL get opened, bows will
    get flattened, ornaments will "magically" fall off the tree) ... but
    neither do we want to "avoid" a very special event because she's young,
    innocent, investigative ... AND DARING.  We just need to address the
    issues and then hope for the best!
    
    Happy holidays!!! Enjoy!!
    Dottie

Go ahead, put up that tree.  I can't imagine that you would leave your
1-yr old along, unattended, in the room that had the tree in it, so what's
the problem???

We've been thru 2 XMAS's so far with Matt; when he was 7 mos and 19 mos.
We've had NO problem (knock on wood.)  We put soft ornaments or plastic
ones near the bottom, and the glass ones near the top.  He was more interested
in looking at the tree than trying to climb/undecorate/eat... it.  The
first thing we did was show him the tree was prickly to touch, and I think
that made him leary of the tree so he never went too close to it.  We never
had to tie the tree to the wall or anything, but I suppose that would be a
good idea.

� �ori �

    I have a very mischievous 15 month old and an almost 3 year old.  I'm
    putting up the tree, but may gate the room off most of the day (it is
    usually gated off anyway!).
    
    What about window candles?  I have the kind that plug-in, and don't fit
    very well on the sills.  I have put masking tape on them in the past,
    but I know that won't prevent him from getting at them.
    
    I *love* white lights in the windows, but may have to do without this
    year!
    
    -Laurel

    Laurel,
    
    We put up our window candle lights on Sunday.  Steven (13 mos)
    and VERY mischeivous loves them but hasn't tried to touch them
    (yet).  He just goes up to them and shakes his head and says
    "hot"
    
    We're hoping the tree will have the same effect on him when
    we put it up this weekend!  Unfortunately, the tree HAS to
    go in the room that he does most of his playing in.
    
    Thanks for all the ideas, this topic has calmed my nerves 
    about putting up the tree!
    
	Linda

    Well, thank you to the last two noters who have at least acknowledged
    and/or validated my fear in putting up christmas decorations.  I
    was beginning to think that I was the only person with a mischievous
    young'un!!! cj/

    Laurel, 
    
    I've seen battery-operated window candles at several places.
    Obviously, it's a pain to have to mess with batteries, but
    I still think that I'll get them for the rooms that we use
    most of the time to reduce the temptation that comes with the
    electrical cords snaked all over the place.
    
    Carol
    

    I was afraid that if Alex did grab a branch and pull, the tree would
    sway enough to have a whiplash effect on uppermost decorations and
    they'd get launched!
    
    Leslie

    
    	To those of us with four legged children this note has been most
    handy. I think that this year I will buy a playpen or fence to put
    around the tree so that my dog (Dana the greyhound) will not be able to
    get at it.
    
    	I looked at some pictures of last Christmas and asked why we had
    only decorated half of the tree last year (the upper half) of course
    the answer was that the dog kept getting at it and little by little all
    of hte ornaments got moved to the top.
    
    				Wendy

re: .6

>    We did not put as much stuff on the lower branches for the
>    first two years

Later, when they start "helping" you decorate, ALL of the decorations end up on 
the lower branches.	;^)
			
Clay

    Since this year is the first that Joshua (17 months) will really
    be aware/interested/involved=INTO Christmas we also had the tree
    dilemma.  Our solution?  We have a table top tree in the entry hall,
    a miniture tree on top of the entertainment center, and we got a
    real LIVE tree for the living room.  Our yard is in the midst of
    landscaping any way and we thought it would be neat to have a "Joshua"
    tree to plant after Christmas.  Josh picked out a very pretty 5
    foot Pinon in a very sturdy(heavy) bucket of dirt.  Thank goodness
    for tree skirts or we would be wondering how to keep him out of
    the dirt instead of away from the ornaments.  We also have given
    Josh a few unbreakable, non-toxic ornaments of his own and he seems
    to understand, "The pretties on the tree are to look at but the
    pretties in your box are for YOU! to play with.  Believe it or not--
    Josh hasn't even touched or showed any interest in the packages
    (YET__right?).  Our problem is also the cat--last year we found
    about 20 ornaments in March--in the arm of the sofa--she crawled
    under the sofa and hid her treasures!!!
    
    Pam

    RE: window candles.  There are some clear plastic gadgets that you can
    buy that will secure the candles to the window sill.  They are hard to 
    describe.  A clear piece of plastic about 3" long, 1/2" wide and very
    thin.  The top has a ring attached to it.  The bottom goes to a wedge
    shape/  The ring goes around the candle and then you wedge th bottom 
    between the window and the sill.  It's very secure.
    
          
              |  |
             _______
    	      |  | |<---gadget
    candle--->|  | |
              |  | |
              |  | |
              |  | |
         _________ |
     window sill   | <--- wedges between window sill and window.
    
    
    RE: fence.   There are kiddie corrals that you can buy.  The function
    is
    that if you use them in the yard you end up with a large playpen on the
    ground.  These are great for fencing off a tree because you can vary
    the shape.
    
    
    Penelope(the human electron)'s mother
    
    

    Does anyone know where I can find those gadgets for the window
    candles?  I've seen them at someones house, but have never seen
    them in the stores ...
    
    Nancy

One of the best suggestions we have gotten from PARENTING is to put the
tree up and decorate it when the toddler is asleep.  This way s/he never
gets the idea that the tree or the ornaments are to be touched.

In addition, we bought only non-breakable ornaments (or if they did break,
they wouldn't hurt him), and we did put bells on the bottom branches (we
have 4 cats!).  :-)  Since he never saw us touch the bells, he never paid
attention to them.  This will be Evan's third Christmas, and we don't 
anticipate any trouble.  The last two years he practically ignored the tree.
The cats were much more of a problem.

      Carol

    My third is 13 months this Christmas, and we will have a tree.  My
    others were 15 months and 13 months on their "1 year" Christmas, and I
    had more trouble with them when they were 2!  Their first reaction is
    the best: absolute astonisment and wonder.  They always wanted the
    lights on, but didn't touch it.  Just in case, my favorite *breakable*
    ornaments haven't been on the tree in recent years....I hang them in
    the window instead!
    
    I also found that if I don't cordon off an area, and don't try to keep
    them away from something, their curiosity isn't aroused so life is that
    much easier.  
    
    The older ones helped decorate this year.  Almost all the ornaments
    ended up on the same two branches (Justin's branch and Kyle's branch). 
    I tried moving them after they went to bed, but the riot that erupted
    the next day was amazing!  We finally agreed to pick three ornaments
    each to be hung on "the" branch.
    
    One thing you may want to watch...if you put some presents under the
    tree before Christmas they may get opened or end up missing!  Justin
    was at the "throw everything away" stage for his 1 year Christmas, and
    a pair of earrings for my sister never got found!
    
    Laura

    
    Oh jeez, folks, the question about whether to have a tree was 
    *really* a rhetorical one!   I was just look for hints and I 
    have received some good ones, thanks!
    

    We typically get a real tree, and plan to incorporate some of the tips 
    contained in the various replies to this note, but not once have I seen  
    pine needles mentioned! How do people deal with the potential for their 
    children to eat pine needles? I guess our primary concern is: Are pine 
    needles toxic? Despite our best efforts to keep the area clean, I'm
    sure that there will be some shedding that we won't be able to stay
    ahead of. Any thoughts, suggestions, etc...
    
    Re: 'candle holders'
    
    I've seen these candle holders in just about every store that sells 
    Christmas decorations. Typically, they come in a package of 3, and
    cost no more than a couple of bucks. Also, if you have storm windows,
    consider sandwiching the candles between the two windows. We've done
    this for years, since our interior windows have smaller panes, and the
    grid is centered and blocks the view of the candle as seen from
    outside. The electric cord is thin enough to allow us to close and lock
    the interior window on top of the cord, and this helps to hold the
    candle securely.
    
    Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays
    
    Freddie
    

   We told Andrew, last year, that he was allowed to touch one ornament, and
   he stuck by that (at 18 months...)
   
   We had the light switch well hidden, and he would pester us to turn on the
   lights. I think his eyes lit up more than the tree lights.
   
   
   q
   

    Chase is 13 months and we decorated the tree when he was asleep
    last weekend.  He seems to ignore the tree!  Unless we draw attention
    to it.  Someone else said in here to teach them to touch with one
    finger instead of grab.  We are training him to do this and it has
    worked so far!  Their attention spans are so short at this age anyway
    that it is on to something else within a few minutes anyway.  We
    did put the breakable ornaments higher up though. 
    
    Enjoy!

    I'm wondering about the pine needles, too.  
    
    The first thing David does when he's outside is grab a big handful
    of pine needles and try to stuff them in his mouth.  If someone
    tracks in even one needle on their shoes, David will find it and
    try to eat it.  I'm not looking forward to having a steady supply
    available.
    
    --bonnie

    Re: cordless candles
    
    Although they sound like a great idea (at least they did to me) they
    go through batteries like there's no tomorrow.  The cordless candles
    I bought managed to kill a couple alkaline batteries in a matter of
    days.  I tried rechargable batteries - but they only lasted a couple
    hours between chargeings

    Go ahead! It's a real delight to see their eyes at the sight of the
    tree for the first time. My daugther is 15mths and I was somewhat
    concerned if she would tear it apart. So far, no major accidents.
    We have placed ornaments (cloth) on the limbs she can reach and
    enjoy. I agree with the previous noter that you must get your
    children used to way the house runs very early.
    
    -clotelle

    
    A follow-up to the basenote:
    
    We went out and cut down a tree and put it up Saturday evening 
    before bedtime.  We *decorated* it after Jason went to bed.
    Sunday morning he just stood in the living room and said "wow"
    about a million times!   The worst problem we have had so far
    is that he watched Dad water the tree and wanted to water it 
    himself.   Walked around all evening with the watering jug (this
    is an unusual child!!)...
    
    The ornaments have not been a problem so far (knock on wood).  He
    is very interested in touching and rearranging the lights.  All in
    all, not near as bad as I expected!.
    
    Carol

    Sorry, I didn't read all the responses so my ideas might have been
    expressed already.
    
    Our son was 10 months at his first Christmas. Our Christmas tree was in
    the living room and we spend most of our time in the family room so
    temptation wasn't always staring him in the face. We allowed him to do
    a "one finger" touch to the tree and the ornaments but he was never
    allowed to grab. He also was never left unsupervised for more than a
    few seconds while in the living room. I think we started with gates
    blocking off the living room but quickly took them down when we were
    spending more time removing gates to keep going into the living room
    then we were telling him not to touch. 
    
    Other things we did was never let him see us turn on the lights. We
    didn't want him to get any ideas that going behind the tree was okay.
    
    We did "tie" up the tree with some very strong thread (beige to blend
    in with walls and trippled up for extra strength) and tacked it into
    the corner with a nail. This was actually for the sake of the cat
    rather than our son but it eased our minds as well.
    
    Always place unbreakable ornaments at child height. Also ones with no
    little pieces that could easily break off if they do find their way
    into little hands or mouths. Use ornaments that don't appear to be
    hazardous. By this I mean I bought some unbreakable red hearts and
    apples but they were "coated" foam and when I discovered that the cat
    was easily able to open one up and reveal the foam inside, I took them
    all down in fear that if one was chewed by my son, he would not only
    have a red mouth but would make a meal out of the foam. Maybe use
    opened candy canes (no wrappers) if you think your child will be an
    "eater" but that could encourage eating in its own right.
    
    Personally I think you can go with a tree but you need to set down the 
    ground rules first and teach the child respect for the tree and
    decorations. We used to point out the various decorations on the tree
    but stuck with the one-finger touch rule always. Stress that
    decorations are not toys. 
    
    You could always mkae thos construction paper link chains or snow
    flakes for the bottom half of the tree. Don't use any tinsel.
         
    Merry Christmas,
    Andrea 

    Pine needles aren't poisonous that I know of. In fact a tea of
    pine needles used to be used to prevent scurvey in days when
    few vegetables would keep through the winter. They could stick
    in the throat however.
    
    Bonnie

    Re the discussion on whether pine needles are toxic.  There's an
    extensive note, toward the end of the directory authored by yours truly
    about which plants are toxic.
    
    Interesting to see what kids will do with trees, I guess I consider
    myself lucky that we've never had a problem with AJ and the tree.  As
    others have said it's my four-legged felines who create the biggest
    problems.  The other night the two of them were tearing around the
    house and actually knocked the cord out of the socket, and geez did
    that tree ever shake, shimmy and *almost* roll over!  
    
    Someone said said something to the effect of how to keep their child un
    aware of the tree light cord, we usually put the tree near a socket
    operated by the light switch.  That way there really is no connection
    between the tree lights and a plug.
    
    Happy Holidays,
    Lyn