Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Alison,
    
    I was in a similar situation with my first daughter.  I HAD to work as
    much as possible.
    
    I had a very easy pregnancy, in fact I worked the day she was born.  I
    worked in Accounts Receivable in the hospital she was to be born in and
    my boss sent me home at about 4 and was I back at the hospital at about 7
    ish, she was born at 8:20 that evening! I was lucky.  It was easy labor 
    and they did a section because she was breach.  With my second I would
    have worked longer, however, we moved across the country  6 weeks
    before she was due; then she was 2 weeks early.
    
    I then returned to work at 5 weeks.  (Dr did not want to release me to
    work yet, however, I simply could not afford to stay home any longer.)
    
    I was very lucky - other then occassional severe headaches I was
    healthy with Amy (first).  I wish I had half the energy I had when I
    was pregnant!
    
    Kim Literovich
    

    With my first I was nauseas from the time of conception through
    delivery, I also had severe swelling in my ankles, I stopped work about
    two weeks before my due date with her.  (She was ultimately a
    stillbirth, but nothing to do with my level of activity.)  I guess I
    suffered psycologically from being home, more than physically.  I seem
    to spend days just looking at the whale of a belly and wishing the
    ankles would deflate, and dealing with the heat and humidity of late
    May.
     
    With AJ it was wonderful, I worked full time also (as a DECtag I too get 
    no "bennies" like paid time off, is that your situation also?) until
    about 8 weeks before my due date.  The decision making factor to stop
    work was that it was a couple weeks before Christmas and we had gone
    from work, to shopping, then home and I didn't get enough time to allow
    the swelling in my ankles deflate.  As Murphy's law goes, I had a Dr.
    appt early the next morning.  My Blood Pressure was a little on the
    high side, and my ankles were still noticably swollen so he ordered me
    to bed.
    
    Fortunately, (or unufortunately however you look at it) we were living
    with my inlaws, we had sold our condo a few weeks earlier, the new
    house wasn't ready yet, so I was able to take full advantage of the
    Doctor's orders for bed rest.  The second thing that happened about
    that time was a severe back ache, so I had no choice but to retreat to
    bed, with heating pad and feet up.  Fortunately (I think) AJ came 7
    weeks early, the day after new year.
    
    The other thing I can relate to you is at Umass Medical Center in
    Worcester, they have a policy of 6 weeks off, period.  Most nurses
    will request the beginning of their leave to be their due date, so if
    they go early they will be able to enjoy the full 6 weeks with the
    newborn.  I don't agree, especially with such a physically active job,
    but that's our wonderful Commonwealth!
    
    Hope this rambling helps!
    Lyn
     

    Well - here's my story.  With my first I planned on working right up
    until she was born.  And that's that way it was.  I went into labor
    while getting ready for work on a Tuesday morning.  I felt great - yes
    tired - but we get tired while not pregnant too I kept telling myself.
    I had a great fear of getting bored, and thought that all I would do
    is sit around the refigerator and swell up even further.  Labor was easy, 
    and I took off the six weeks after my delivery date.
    
    On the second pregnancy, I had a little one already, it was the summer,
    I had the luxury to be able to take off the two weeks before my due
    date so I did it.  Let me tell you - one thing I noticed was that my
    recovery was quicker because I was rested BEFORE the delivery.  Both
    deliveries were basically the *same* so comparisons were easy.  So,
    I feel that if you are rested going into the pregnancy, you will do
    much better after it.  FWIT.
    
    Lorrie
    

I had not planned to take off any time before my first child, but to use the
2 weeks AFTER the baby for a total of 8 weeks after (the daycare I was
considering would not take them until 8 weeks old).  But when I found out that
you cannot do that (i.e. if you don't take your 2 weeks before, you lose them)
I tood the 2 weeks anyways.  I was pretty tired, and needed the time to get
ready.  But I did get bored at home, and my husband didn't get much work done
between phone calls!  I also got the "nesting instinct" and did all kinds of
stuff around the house.

I'm due in 4.5 weeks, and will take the 2 weeks prior, but I'm really nervous.
I have felt soooooo good this pregnancy, and am not tired at all (well, except
for Kati's sleepless nights), and having just moved I fear that I will probably
find too many projects around the house, and might relax better at work!  But
just because I think the policy stinks (I would love to work until my due date
and tack the 2 weeks afterwards) I will take my 2 weeks before again.

Let your body dictate what you do.  If you start feeling very tired, or
uncomfortable (when the baby drops) then take off if you can afford it.  If you
feel energetic and WANT to continue to work, I don't think there should be a
problem (of course, you're probably seeing your OB regularly these days,
right?).  Let us know!

Kristen

    I left work two weeks before my due date with James because I was
    so big I could barely fit behind the steering wheel of my car!  Plus,
    I had torn the stretch tummy panel in the largest size of maternity
    pantyhose I could find.  And I was _tired_.  I had started getting up
    once or twice a night to use the bathroom, and occasionally went down
    to the nurse's office to take a nap on my lunch hour.  (I have a long
    commute to work.)  
    
    James was almost a week late, so I had three weeks at home to rest
    and relax.  I watched the Stanley Cup playoffs, the octa-finals or
    whatever they're called, of the NCAA basketball tournament, took
    walks, baked, cooked, shopped, and just generally nested around.
    I still look back on that time with great fondness.  It was the most
    time I'd had to myself since graduate school...
    
    The question is, Alison, how do YOU feel??  Can you work 6 hours
    a day till, say, 2 weeks before your due date, then half days till
    you're due?  Talk it over with yourself, your partner
    and your manager.  If you feel good, work; if you feel like  you
    need some rest, arrange to take it.  Your mileage will _definitely_
    vary on this one.
    
    Lots of good luck with the blessed event!
    
    Kate

    I worked the day my first was born; I left work at 6 PM and Elizabeth
    was born 5.25 hours later.
    
    For my second the doctor offered to put me on disability at 36 weeks
    (rather than the standard 38) and I took it.  I was tired from the
    pregnancy and dealing with a toddler and I wanted to spend some time
    with my first daughter before child #2 came along.  
    
    So...listen to your body.  It will tell you when you're reaching your
    limits.
    
    Good luck!
    LZP
    

    If you feel reasonably good (I say reasonably because with your
    belly sticking out to the next county, it's kind of hard to feel
    _totally_ wonderful) you aren't going to cause any problems for
    you or your baby.  Being rested before the delivery does seem to
    help the recovery go a bit faster, but I also found that the time
    I didn't stay active right up to the end, delivery itself was a
    lot harder.  
    
    So I agree with the other noters -- listen to your body (and your
    doctor/midwife) and do what needs to be done.
    
    --bonnie

    Where will you be most relaxed?

    I was home cleaning for two weeks before my baby was born.  All the usual
    stuff - vacuuming, laundry, dusting, waxing floors, washing windows,
    washing walls, scrubbing the grout between the tiles, dusting the tops
    of light bulbs... You get the picture.  By the time I went into labor
    I was exhausted.  I would have gotten more rest working at my desk job
    those last two weeks.  For me - one week home nesting would have been 
    ideal.  
    
    Will your manager let you work part time?  That might be a good way to
    balance your need to keep busy with your need to rest.

    brings back memories... I took the 2 weeks before, but it turned into 5
    cause my daughter was post-due (NOT worth the extra 3 weeks pay!).  It
    rained, I mean poured drenching downpours, every day of those last
    three weeks, and the cellar flooded.  I spent the last 3 weeks of my
    first pregnancy getting water out of the cellar with broom and wet-vac.
    The sun came out the day I went into labor, 3 weeks to the day
    post-due!
    
    all the advice here is sound -- do what feels right, but be careful not
    to overdo even if you feel energetic.  You need to conserve your
    strength, and remember that if this is your first, these are your last
    few and precious days of lazy lounging around!  SO! read the Sunday
    paper, go for walks when you feel like it, go to work, socialize
    without distraction, nap whenever you feel like it knowing you can wake
    up when you feel like it.  I *dream* of things like that now!

    I worked until the day I went into labor.  Shane was born two days
    later.  I also had a desk job and I know that if I had taken the two
    weeks before off, I would have done more work at home.  I also needed
    to work financially.  I had a C-section (do to the fact that I wasn't
    dialating) and was back to work when Shane was 5 weeks old and I feel
    great (he's 9 weeks old now).
    
    Lori B.