Conference moira::parenting_v3

    Sounds like a pretty mature 4 year old, in some ways. Would daycamp be
    an option (more kids, different activities)?  Also, how 'bout lessons
    of some sort, such as swimming.
    
    

    This happened with my nephew too.  He had been going to the same home
    daycare since he was 4 months old, but when he was about 2 1/2, he just
    didn't want to go anymore.  He couldn't really say why, but he'd ask to
    go anywhere else instead -- to my house, to grandma's, stay home, etc. 
    He also was the oldest child at daycare.  There was another boy about 6
    months younger than Brian, but they didn't like to play together very
    much.  The other children were much younger.  I think that Brian wasn't
    getting enough stimulation there.  My sister and brother-in-law decided
    to find a different place for him.  They found a place where three of
    the children were 6 months to a year older than Brian and he loved it! 
    It could have just been the change of surroundings, new toys to play
    with, new provider to relate to, but he really seemed to enjoy the
    older children too.  He always came home with stories to tell about
    what they'd all done that day.  My sister just had another baby and is
    now at home full-time, but Brian still likes to go back to daycare to
    visit the friends he made there.

    I also suspect he's just bored plain and simple.  I'm sure that there
    may be some homecare settings that are good for some kids right up to
    school age, but I think it's the exception.  My boys had very fine
    homecare, but Aaron had really outgrown it by age 2, and we "promoted"
    Eric to pre-school at 1.5.  They got much more variety in playmates,
    activities, etc. in the larger setting, and more adult attention
    attuned to imaginative play, rather than custodial and safety concerns. 
    Aaron even managed to be bored with the first summer day-camp he went to.
    I would try to find Bradford a year-round pre-school.
    
    		- Bruce

    I have to agree with the previous noters - boredom.  I think homecare
    is great for kids up to about 3.  After that they really need something
    more fulltime.  I switched my oldest two at about 3 and 1/4, and my
    third child at about 2 to preschool.  What a difference!  And the
    interaction with older kids can play a big part in your child's
    stimulation.  Sounds to me like what he needs.
    

    I vote just plain boredom too. Not knowing what you plan to do (find
    another place for him to go, more formalized activities. etc) may I
    suggest a few things. Can he bring some of his favorite toys there so
    he has something to do of interest? Maybe bring his bike there, maybe
    suggest the provider introduce him to another child his age or older
    that might be in the neighborhood, maybe buy a model kit that will take
    him some time to put together. 
    
    Some things that will take a few phone calls...enroll him in swimming
    lessons (try for a 2-3 times a weeks session), maybe get him a library
    card and enroll him in the reading club and meet at the library a
    couple times a week, maybe find some art lessons at a local museum,
    maybe start in a nature program that alot of parks offer to young
    "scouts". I don't know the situation with the provider. Is she willing
    to pick him up after such activites? 
    
    It sounds like a year-round pre-school is what he would like. I asked
    to go to summer session. Check some "progressive" schools like
    Montesorri or the Waldorf schools. I know Montesorri offers summer
    session but may vary with each facility.
    
    Best of luck.

    Since it's probably too late to change his arrangements for the
    summer, you might try looking around for activities that all the
    sitter's charges could enjoy.  
    
    Many communities have summer activity programs at local parks,
    which often include things such as participating in putting on a
    play, having game days, etc., as well as more conventional things
    like swimming lessons.  Call your town's recreation or parks
    department. 
    
    Is there a pond etc. in the area where they could go feed the
    ducks?  Even walking around the block to buy ice cream from a
    street vendor is an adventure to a four-year-old.
    
    Libraries are another good source of activities.  
    
    When Steven was 4, he loved to go walk around the mall.  (He likes
    the Nashua Mall best because of the fountain.)
    
    Sometimes commercial operations aimed at children -- petting zoos,
    amusement parks, etc. -- have free or reduced-price summer
    activities. 
    
    --bonnie

         Thanks everyone for responding.  I was on vacation last week so it
    was nice to see some suggestions.  Brad is taking roller skating and
    swimming lessons on Thursdays.  I will call around and see if there are
    some other activities he can go to during the week.
    
    Diane
    

    I think I saw mention of this while reading TODDLER TAMING    
(unfortunately, I just moved and couldn't even begin to find the right    
box).  The author talked about bored kids and mentioned that parents    
shouldn't feel the need to entertain their children all the time but    
that the children should learn to figure out what to do.  Now I don't    
think he meant that we shouldn't involve them in activities but that    
they should have some unstructured time that they learn to fill    
themselves. 
    
    I tend to agree with this as I always am concerned that maybe some of  
us (me included!) are raising over-achievers.  I have a 4-year-old    
(in fact, today is his birthday!) too, who is in home daycare.  I chose    
that for now as he will start a structured life soon enough with    
kindergarten just a year away and soon to follow will be us driving him    
all over the place for lessons/after-school-activities etc. 
    
    Without going into a diatribe, maybe you need to take a look at how you
deal with structuring his time.  Does he ask to read/color/play outside
or only do those things at someone else's suggestion?  Is he really    
bored or do you think he is only because he isn't in a structured activity?
    
   You might look through the TODDLER TAMING book to see what else he says
- my memory is gone - something to do with children, I think. 
    
Karen 
    

    Here's a few things my sitter has been doing for the kids this summer.
    (Hubby Steve may or may not be out there observing,if you are Steve
    you've got my vote of confidence and praise!!)  So far the kids have
    had 3 weeks/at 5 days per week of swimming lessons at the local lake
    (Chauncy in Westboro)  They also have gone to a "gymnastics camp"
    sponsored by the local recreation dept.  Both of these had a fee
    attached but the kids all came home quite excited about it.  Most of
    the children, all boys by coincidence, are about the same age, half the
    group is 3.5 to 4 the other half is first and second grade, and one
    lonely girl her daughter 18 months who's too young for any of the
    programs.  All of these programs are being repeated in various phases
    throughout the summer.  She also makes it a point to hook in to daycare
    providers' networks which joins several home daycare groups together at
    a central point (Fire Station or Library) for activities.  She has a
    small wading pool at her home, and takes the crew to the local wading
    pool and/or even McDonalds for morning snack (cookies, milk and
    playground)  My son (3.5yrs) comes home happy, excited and tired, but
    can't wait to get up and go to daycare each day-(referencing the note
    on the child who didn't want to get up in the morning, maybe he's
    bored?)
    
    Good Luck
    Lyn