Conference moira::parenting

    A girlfriend of mine who's daughter is 6, said she would wait until she
    is about 7 or 8.  She has a couple of friends who put perms in there
    children and grandchildrens hair an it cause their hair to thin out a
    little.  She said there wasn't any breakage, but it is noticeable
    thinner.  When I was younger my mother would put a vigor relaxer in my
    hear, she said it did not seem to be as hard on the hear as a perm.  I
    also read in magazine that perms can change the texture of children
    hair.  

    -.1 disregard the spelling it has been a long day

    I would be hesitant to use those chemicals on a child.
    
    If it was a one time thing maybe, but if you are going to
    keep at it I would consider that the chemicals do get into
    your system and she is still growing.
    
    I perm my hair and it takes 2 weeks before that chemical
    smell is gone.
    
    

    
    re .0
    
    You may want to check with your pediatrician or pharmacists
    concerning the safety of the chemicals on children. 
    
    
    Eva 

    
    This is just my personal opinion but I wouldn't even consider
    perming a child's hair during their growing years - just as 
    I wouldn't perm or die my own hair if I were pregnant.  To me,
    the potential risk outweighs the reward.
    
    Thank goodness I have two boys!!
    
    FWIW, 
    cj/  

    I've got a problem with things like this just on a philosophical basis. 
    I believe from the bottom of my heart that you are acting in your
    daughter's best interests, and I am sure she looks absolutely darling
    with her hair permed.  If a perm also made her hair easier to care for,
    I would be tempted to do it, too.
    
    It's just that there is so much other crap out there that tugs at and
    weakens our kids' self-esteem.  (Again, I don't believe this is on your
    agenda *at all*.)  I think it is hard to offer "treats" like perming,
    ear=piercing, etc., without conveying a message about the child. 
    I.e., if my daughter and I were in your and your daughter's shoes, I
    would want my daughter to know that I think her hair is fine just the
    way it is, and she is, too.  
    
    I hope you understand what I'm trying to say here.  My mother was
    always trying to get my hair "to do something," and when it didn't turn
    out (which it never did), I always got the subtle message that
    something was wrong with ME, not that I'd gotten a bad haircut or
    whatever.
    
    Good luck whatever you decide to do!  Your daughter sounds like a
    terrific kid, and she is lucky to have a caring mother like you.

    Thanks for all the feedback - it's just that her hair is so soft,
    I can't get it to do much but hang there.  Even worse when she refuses
    to wash it - sigh!
    
    No, I won't perm it, especially with all the thought of the chemicals
    etc..even i hate them.  It will be curled for special occasions, photos
    
    Until then, it'll just have to grow out more evenly.  
    
    And yes, my mother did perm my hair starting at 7 or so.  Sheesh, and
    was the hairstyle awful!!!!
    
    Kathy

    I understand that you need it to grow out, but in the meantime try to 
    keep it a "blunt cut" rather than layering.  The blunt cut makes it
    swing together and seem thicker, whereas layering it makes it wispier.
    
    Leslie 

    I have two daughters.  One has hair nice and thick and long and
    beautiful.  The other one has hair like mine...no body, looks limp
    unless liquid super glue is used, etc.
    
    But I've noticed over the past year that her hair has gotten thicker. 
    I would be patient with your daughter's hair.  It may change
    drastically over the next year or two.
    
    Just my two cents...
    
    

    Just a suggestion, if your daughter will sit still long enough, dampen
    her hair and then put small plaits in it...let her sleep with the
    plaits in and then in the morning her hair should be wavy.
    
    I too have a 5 year old girl and she loves me to play (brush, plait
    etc) her hair..but she also likes to return the favour to my partner
    and I. :-))
    
    Jackie

    If the problem is her hair is so *soft*, wouldn't perming ruin
    that softness.
    
    To me there is nothing more beautiful, shiny, soft, and touchable
    than a child's hair.  Like silk...
    							cj *->

    Sit still long enough?  There's nothing you can't do to my daughter while
    she's watching a Disney movie! 8*}
    
    I've often washed her hair and put little tiny braids all over her
    head.  (Mind you, don't decide to go to the mall after you've done this
    to your kids hair.)  She looks ridiculous going to bed, but in the
    morning when I take all the braids out, it's absolutely adorable!
    
    

    
    At your daughter's age (5), my hair was very straight and fine.
    There was no body to it at all.  As I got older (12), my hair got 
    thicker and got more body to it.  When I use to perm my hair
    (just a couple of years ago), I'd only need 1 perm a year and 
    it would stay in.  So maybe when your daughter gets older,
    her hair texture may change like mine did. (I've even gone
    to the hair salon and gotten my hair straightened!!)
          
    FWIW,
    Chris