Conference moira::parenting

    My mother says that I used to do this.  The first time it happened she
    shook me and (most likely) "slapped" me a little (I don't remember how
    old I was, but I know I was under 2).  She asked the doctor about it
    and how to deal with it and he told her she did the right thing.  I
    certainly don't remember this, so it most likely won't cause any
    emotional damage. But the doctor's reasoning was first it lets the
    child know this is not acceptable behavior and secondly, if it
    continued, it could cause physical damage (lack of oxygen) to the me.
    She had a friend whose child was doing the same thing.  The other 
    woman did not react physically and I believe her child continued to
    use this tantrum tactic!!

    Let me be one of the first in this string to suggest that a child 
    (especially a very young one) should NEVER be shaken!!
    
    And my take on the turn-blue-and-pass-out tactic is: 1) smart child to
    figure out that this gets parental attention pronto, and 2) once the
    child passes out, normal breathing resumes; no big deal.  YMMV.
    
    Leslie 

    Well, I used to do a similar thing, but it was on purpose.  My mother
    tells me that when I threw a tantrum I would purposely hold my breath,
    turn blue, etc.  The pedi said when I did that, to just blow in my face
    (a quick burst) and I would gasp (hence, intake air).  It worked, but
    only because I was surprised and was doing it on purpose.  Is it
    something she's doing on purpose?  If so, it could work on her.
    
    Karen

    Blowing in the face has worked for me too.  
    
    Being the mother of three very strong willed daughters, I have
    experienced this with all three girls when they were small.  it is good
    for setting you up for panic the first time.
    
    meg

My mom said I did this too and she would slap me on the bottom
which she felt worked but she's not sure how moms today would
view this.

This is not an unheard of problem, so I'd think it would be covered in the 
standard baby references -- Brazleton, Leach, Spock, or whoever is in vogue 
these days.  I'd also suggest consulting a pediatrician; I'd guess that 
standard advice these days is different than it may have been in the past.  

My personal take is along the lines blowing in the face -- something with 
some shock value, perhaps even throwing cold water in the face, but without 
the dangers that shaking or slappign might have.  My understanding is the 
same as Leslie's, namely that even if a child passes out, they will resume 
breathing normally, so a key would be to make sure that the child can't do 
anything by passing out (like falling).

Clay   

    I would think passing out continuously for long periods of time would
    eventually cause some harm.  And when I mentioned shaking/slapping, I
    don't mean the type that could be considered as abusive.  And this was
    also 30 years ago!!!  Ooops --- did I say that!!!

    Joy,
    
    usually the "pass out" lasts only a few seconds, because as soon as
    consiouseness is lost, normal breathing resumes.  
    
    Blowing in the face seems to "shock" into normal breathing and or
    screaming, but interrupts the cycle before the child passes out.  
    
    

    
    
    A niece of mine started the breath holding at 2.  My sister kept
    a dixie cup of water in the fridge and used the face splash method for
    about a month. Worked ok for her.
    

    
    My now 3 year old did this at 2 1/2. It scared me to death, especially
    as her condition afterward was similar to that of a post seizure child.
    I even hit 911 the third time.
    
    What I found (or maybe she outgrew it) was that it occured when I hurt
    her feelings. The first time was when I took away her Barney toy and
    put it out of reach. After the third time, I decided to intervene
    earlier in the tantrum by holding her, talking softly and reassuringly,
    and telling her to breathe.  So far so good...or maybe she grew out of
    it.
    
    I learned a long time ago that we can sometimes change behavior by
    changing ur reactions. Since what I was dealing with was hurt feelings
    I decided to make sure she knew it was her bahavior that was bad and
    that I still loved. It's hard but easier than wiping up after the 
    ambulance crew....

    My older two would do this, but not intentionally -- usually when they
    had hurt themselves bad, they'd kind of screech and exhale, and you'd
    just SIT AND WAIT for them to inhale again .... it took FOREVER
    sometimes!  If they didn't breathe again in what I thought was a
    reasonable time, I'd get their attention some way, usually it had to be
    something physical.  Most of the time just grabbing their upper arm and
    giving them a wiggle would do it (I guess that must have worked all the
    time, cuz I can't remember anything else, and they never passed out).
    
    Aren't they FUN??!
    

    
    Our daughter used to do this too, but began at under a year old (she
    has just turned 4 now).  The first time it happened, I panicked.  Guess
    she must have caught on, as her day care providers called a few days
    afterwards saying she had done it there a few times.  We were all VERY
    worried and trotted her off to the Dr.  The Dr tried to pass it off as
    a behavioural problem, but I had real difficulty accepting a child of
    that age would be having temper tantrums.
    
    After much insistance on our part, she was sent for various tests
    (epilepsey etc.) but all came back negative, she was in fine health. 
    Kathryn's breath-holding continued, and I tried not to let it bother
    me.  We tried the blowing in the face trick, and it worked - for a
    while!  It got to the point where we had to be really tough, and when
    it happend, we would lay her down on the floor (recovery position) and
    watch from a safe distance until she 'came to' again.  It was a tough
    time, but fortunately she grew out of it when she realised it was no
    longer an attention grabber.
    
    Jackie

    
    So, we were playing and I stole her belly button and said I wouldn't
    give it back and she walked away angry and as I followed her I heard a
    thump....
    
    I thought the 3 year old mentioned in .10 had outgrown it but...there
    she was lying on the floor, back arched, spastic...then she passed out.
    
    She came back before I could call 911 this time adn was fine.
    
    Once again, my pedi tells me that she is not doing herself damage and
    it is not a seizure and I need to feel assured....
    
    It is soooo hard but I think he's right altho' I fear he's not. So,
    now the focus is on getting her to tell me she is angry rather then
    walk away. Right now, I don't care what she says to me so long as 
    she keeps breathing.

    It might help to point out how others around her deal with their anger.
    There are also a lot of those 'cartoon-ish' oriented books available
    now, and I think that Sesame Street picked up on it too, that deal with
    emotions.  "Ernie's Big Mess" is one that comes to mind about messes
    and how to DEAL with it, and Not deal with it (Ernie ran away! )-:)
    
    I think I'd rather have the breath-holding than the all-out temper
    tantrums Jason used to have .... wonder what Jonathan has in store for
    me! (-: