| Mine were in their cribs till almost 3, so I can't help you there,
but I wonder if putting something familiar, from the crib, into his
bed, might help.
I know this summer w/ the heat, we've been spending more than a few
nights in the living room (w/ the a/c). Jonathan (10 mos next week) is
QUITE disoriented when he wakes up out there. Actually this morning he
woke up about 3am, crying (which he never does), and as soon as I
turned away to go back to sleep, he started SCREAMING hysterically
(unheard of, for him). I ended up having to leave a light on, and it
seemed that once he realized where he was, he was fine - they rely so
much on consistency.
And it takes him FOREVER to fall asleep in the living room. I've found
it actually takes him longer if I try to lay with him - probably
because he's not used to it, and it's so different it keeps him awake.
Lately I try to just "plop" him down, wind up his animal, give him his
pacifier and 'blankie', and ignore him. Seems to work better. I
expect another struggle when he goes back to his crib - it's different!
Good Luck! Any change is going to take a while to get used to!
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| We left Stephen in his bed until he was 3 1/2, when his sister was born.
The main reason we waited so long was that he always wanted to come
sleep with us, and we knew it would take a while getting him to stay in
his bed. He never tried to climb out of his crib, which is surprising
considering how much he would go on about coming to bed with us. I don't
mind him sleeping with us occasionally, but he is very restless before
he falls to sleep in our bed, so it takes him a lot longer. I also sleep
very poorly, waking at the slightest thing, because I am afraid I am
going to roll over on him or knock him silly with my elbow.
He had been napping in a bed at daycare for nearly a year, so that
helped establish the proper bed protocol. When we got him the bed, we
made sure to talk it up and build the desire to sleep in it. We had to
threaten him to within an inch of his life if he got out of it
(parenthood: how to lie, cheat, threaten, and bribe to get your way),
and that has worked well. After four months in it, he still won't get
out of it unless we come into the room. Instead, he'll call for us when
he wants to get up. If it is not an appropriate time, I will go in and
be very brief and blunt, asking him what he needs. Usually he just has
to go to the bathroom, or we forgot some point of bedtime ritual (like
wishing him "good baby dreams"!), so we take care of it and he settles
down pretty quickly.
The first couple of nights we did end up with him sleeping with us,
because he cried and would not go to sleep in his new bed. Then he came
up with the brilliant idea that the new baby should have his bed, and he
should go back to his crib (probably a common thing). We explained to
him that cribs were for little babies who were not able to take care of
themselves at night and needed special protection, and that he was now
able to sleep in a big bed, but his sister was too little. With a few
more threats, we managed to get him sleeping in his bed regularly, and
he now does pretty well. Another thing that helped is that we are
reading to him before bed a lot more, so that gives him some time to sit
still and settle down. I think with the crib sometimes we would put him
to bed too fast, knowing that he couldn't get out. Now we have to put a
little more effort into getting him to bed, but it's worth it.
Also, at the suggestion of our daycare lady, we made a big deal of
buying him a special toy as a reward for sleeping in his own bed. This
was out and out bribery, but it made the point that this was very
important to us. The only thing special about the toy was the occasion,
but every time we mentioned it for the next week, we aked him why we had
gotten it for him. After that it was just another toy, but it had served
its purpose, helping to make the transition a positive experience with
happy associations.
One thing I have learned is that night time ritual is *very* important.
It gives him something to follow to prepare for bed, and he knows it
means going to sleep. As much as he might want to do other things, he
seems to prefer to follow the pattern even more, so I can rely on it to
get him down. I think its regularity has a calming effect, putting the
world in a state of normalcy.
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| I had the exact same problem just two months ago. My daughter started
to climb out of her playpen (was the timeout area). I measured the
distance between the rail and the pad and then the same for her crib.
The playpen was actually one inch deeper. I am also expecting again,
though not until November, and at 19 months we decided to put her into
her big girl bed and take the crib down. She had a new bed, dresser
and night stand. The first few nights were really difficult, we
started letting her fall asleep in the living room with us and then
carrying to her bed. Because her room is at the top of the stairs, we
have a gate in her doorway and she would wake up screaming and I would
go in and lay down with her until she fell asleep. After a few nights
of this, I couldn't take it anymore.
We established a new bedtime routine. First Melissa get's a bath,
then we both go into her room and I let her pick out which of her
stuffed animals she wants to sleep with her. I think the new bed
felt too big to her so I let her load up with animals to give her that
closed in feeling she had with her crib. I have a nightlight for her
which I turn on and a lamp on her nightstand that I use to read her
a story. Then she picks out a book for me to read, we open her bed up,
put all the animals in it, she climbs in and I sit with her pillow
propped against the headboard and read her story. I always end the
story with "The End" so she knows when it is over. I get out of her
bed, put up her rail and turn off the lamp. With just the night light
on I arrange her animals, kiss her goodnight, kiss her animals
goodnight, wind up her little lamb and leave the room. It only took
two nights for her to realize this was a new routine and she had to
go to sleep. She did wake up the first two nights and I went into her
room to let her know I was there, but I put her back in bed and told
her Mommy was in her bed in the other room. It took two or three times
of going back in to reassure her after five minute intervals, but she
finally understood.
Today she still wakes up once a night, every once in a while she
will sleep through, and I just go in and give her a hug and she goes
right back to sleep. It doesn't bother me too much because I usually
have to go to the bathroom when she wakes me up anyway, and I need to
get used to interrupted sleep again anyway.
I felt it was really important that she learn to put herself to
sleep and not rely on me. I did this over a weekend so it wasn't that
bad. My husband would get up with her in the morning and let me sleep
in, and by Sunday night she was fine.
Good luck,
Andrea
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| RE: .4
Thanks, sounds like you're going thru what I am!
Like you, I couldn't take his middle of the night wakings any more (I'm
due Oct 4th with the next one so I'm getting TIRED!). I finally
decided that since he doesn't climb out of his new bed, I'd do what I
did when he was in the crib...let him cry for a little bit if he wakes
up (boy that's still rough to do!). The first night (night before last),
he only cried for 5 minutes and then went back to sleep, last night I
heard him whimper a few times and then he went back to sleep.
Hopefully that battle is over.
I think I'll follow your night-time routine and read him some books
before I put him to bed (I didn't always do that before, and when I did
it was downstairs-not in his room), as he still has a problem with
me leaving when I first put him down for the night. Unlike the middle
of the night he gets out of bed and screams at the gate in his doorway
until I come in and lay down with him.
He does have a night-time routine of eating a snack before bed-time,
brushing his teeth, and giving everyone "night-night" kisses (Grandma
and Grandpa live with us), but maybe if I read to him in his room it'll
give him more of a chance to relax and get drowsy.
I'll give it a shot!
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