Conference moira::parenting

    Wendy,
    
    A bedtime one that comes to mind is:
    
    Now I lay me down to sleep, pray the Lord my soul to keep,
    If I die before I wake pray the Lord my soul to take.
    
    I don't know if it is a very good one to teach a child though.
    It's kind of depressing.
    
    A meal time one is:
    
    God is great, God is good, Let us thank Him for our Food.
    
    -Sheila
    

A nice mealtime grace:

	Earth who gives to us this food,
	Sun who makes it ripe and good;
	Dear sun, dear earth, by you we live;
	Our loving thanks to you we give.
	Blessings on the meal.

An alternative form replaces the third and fourth lines with:

	Dearest earth and dearest sun,
	We'll not forget what you have done.

-Neil

    Then there's always the prayer from the heart where you say what you
    feel and not what was written by someone else.
    
    -sandy
    

    A nighttime prayer that we try to say is:
    
    	Angel of God, my guardian dear
    	To whom God's love commits me here,
    	Ever this night be at my side
    	To light and guard and rule and guide.  Amen.
    
    You can substitute "day" for night and have a nice morning prayer, too.
    
    Grace before meals -- now there's a tradition that we've got to start
    in our household.  When we say it, we use the Catholic grace I learned
    as a kid:
    
    	Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts
    	which we are about to receive from thy bounty,
    	through Christ our Lord, Amen.
    
    My grandmother (a Presbyterian who converted to Catholicism for my
    grandfather and subsequently was disowned by her parents) used this
    one:
    
    	Be present at our table, Lord,
    	Be here and everywhere adored.
    	Thy mercies send and grant that we
    	May feast in Paradise with thee.  Amen.
    
    And, finally, a "modern" grace:
    
    	Bless this food, O Lord, we pray,
    	Most of it was microwaved.
    
    :-) :-) :-)

    Father I am well aware I can't make it on my own
    So take my hand and hold it tight so I don't walk alone

    Now I lay me down to sleep 
    I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to keep
    Thy love go with me through the night
    And wake me with the morning's light
    
    Thank you Lord for the food on this table and for the love (friends,
    family) around it.

    The grace that was said before the dinner at a friend's wedding
    reception was:
    
    	For all that has been, thanks.
    	For all that will be, yes.
    
    Sort of appropriate, given the occasion.

We say the traditional "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer from .6.  But at the 
end we encourage Michelle to add blessings for people she loves. It varies from 
night to night depending on who was an important part of that day's activities, 
so it is kind of a nice way to incorporate her day's highlights into the nightly 
routine.  A typical postlude to our prayers sounds something like:

	.
	.
  And God bless Mommy and Daddy and Michelle,
  And God bless Grandma and Grandpa,
	.
	.
	.
  And God bless Classie and the Cow and the Lambies 
  And Everybody that Michelle loves.


  

    When we do sit down and all eat together we all hold hands:
    
    Our hands we hold our heads we bow it's time to say our blessing now,
    God is good, God is great let us thank him for our food.  Amen
    

    How about the old favorite:
    
    Rub-a-dub-dub,
    Thanks for the grub
    Yea, _______ (whomever you praise)!

    Or ...
    
    Now I lay me down to sleep 
    With a bag of jelly beans at my feet
    If I should die before I wake
    I hope it's with a tummy ache
    
    %^)  %^)  %^)

    We sometimes sing this song...
    
    The Lord is good to me.
    And so I thank the Lord.
    For giving me, the things I need,
    The rain, the sun and the appleseed.
    The Lord is good to me.
    
    
    Jodi-

   Well, since someone else started in with the cute ones...  :-)  :-)
   
   "Good bread, good meat,
    good gosh, let's eat!"
   
   - Tom
   
   :-)
   

    "Grace"

OK, I can't resist ...

Over the lips,
Past the tongue,
Look out stomach,
Here it comes!

    re .14...
    
    	>Grace
    
    So who invited HER to this meal???
    
    

    These my daughter got from daycare:
    
    
    This one is before lunch and snack:
    
    Thank you God for this our food and that we are together . . . Amen
    
    
    
    This one starts the day off:
    
    Thank you God for happy hearts and that we are together . . . Amen
    

Dear heavenly Father, we are grateful for this food 
and for the many other blessings thou hath given us.  
Amen

At daycare, Evan learned:
	
	Thank you for the food before us.
	Thank you for the friends beside us.
	Thank you for the love between us.
	Amen.

    As a child we used the work-a-day "God is great...", and for special
    occasions we sang the Episocpalean offretory hymn:
    
    Praise God from whom all blessings flow
    Praise Him all creatures here below
    Praise Him above ye heavenly host
    Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
    
    Amen
    
    Magnificent to sing -- stately and sprightly and soaring. 
    
    Now, without any religion, I hold hands with my wife and children while 
    they say grace, but only join in when I propose we sing.
    
    Kit
    
    P.S -- moved and edited from earlier. I couldn't quite remember the words
    without singing them, which required waiting until I was driving home!

    This doesn't seem to be exactly addressed, so please forgive if I
    repeat.
    
    Part of our bedtime "ritual" is a good night prayer.  We generally do:
    	Now I lay me down to sleep
    	I pray the Lord my soul to keep
    	Please Jesus watch me through the night
    	And wake me with the morning light.
    
    My daughter has recently spent the night at friends house, who is
    Jewish.  Please understand this question is more out of ignorance or
    naivity, but, I wonder if I took the "Please Jesus" and made it "Sweet
    angels," if that would be acceptable to a Jewish teaching?  I don't
    want to deny my faith, but I don't want to degrade hers...

I'm interested in hearing other opinions, but I don't see why your daughter's 
saying her prayer is at all degrading to the host families' religion.  She's 
not imposing it on them.  I suppose an alternative is to say it silently.

And by the way, I like your version much better than "If I should die before 
I wake . . ."

Clay

    RE:  .22
    
    I'm Jewish and I'll try to answer your question.  First, in the best
    Jewish tradition (;-)) I'll answer your question with another question:
    Did the Jewish child or her parent say anything about the prayer?  If
    so, what did they say?  Was there a problem?
    
    Without knowing the specifics of the situation, I can offer the
    following general comments.
    
    As a Jew, I don't pray to Jesus and I prefer that others not pray to
    Jesus for me, as in a grace before meals.  In general, substituting
    "God" or "Lord" for Jesus will do the trick.  
    
    Contemporary Jews don't focus on angels.  It isn't alien to our
    tradition, but it just isn't very meaningful now.  No offense in your
    proposed substitution, but don't expect it to mean much to a Jewish
    child.    I call my daughter "my angel" - that's all she knows of
    angels, except for the images on Christmas cards.
    
    Those of us who live in integrated circumstances with non-Jews
    generally teach our children that the Christians have their beliefs, we
    have ours, and both are to be respected, while neither are to be
    proselytized.
    
    I'm not the least offended by a Christian praying in his own manner, as
    long as he doesn't attempt to pray for me without my permission.
    
    If I were hosting a sleepover Christian child, I would want the child's
    parent to do the following about bedtime prayers:
    
    a.) Alert me ahead of time so I can explain to my daughter that she
    says her Jewish prayers and her pal says her Christian prayers.  Both
    to be respected.  If they want to share their prayers (without parental
    prompting), I wouldn't interfere.  I would view it as a learning
    opportunity and a deeper bond of friendship between them.
    
    b.) Communicate the same message to the guest child.
    
    I've generally found that Jews, as a minority in the USA, are much more
    knowledgeable about Christianity, than the reverse.  If Christians
    genuinely want to learn about Judaism, I am glad to share what I can.
    
    Just as there are many non-religious people of Christian descent, so
    there are many non-religious people of Jewish descent.  Don't assume
    that your Jewish friends are knowledgeable, believe in Judaism, or even
    believe in God.  Its just as possible that they are secular.  They may
    be offended by ANY mention of God, as are many descendants of
    Christians.  The only way to know is to ask, no matter what the host
    family's background.
    
    I think this approach is polite and considerate for all parties
    involved, no matter what their ethnic or religious backgrounds.
    
    Laura

	I didn't like the phrase "If I should die before I wake either"
	and I knew I had heard something better.  So when I started 
	saying the prayer for my daughter (9months old now) when we
	started a bed time routine (around 3months) I would only
	say the first 2 lines.  Then one night the last 2 lines came
	back to me and now I say:

	Now I lay me down to sleep
	I pray the lord my soul to keep
	May angels watch me through the night
	And wake me with the morning light

	Karen T

       P.S.  I think Laura made some great points about discussing
             it with the other parents.


	 

    RE:  .25
    
    Thanks, Karen. (blush, shrug)

    One my mother learned for her Cristian sience grandmother and one which
    could be used even for us pagans:
    
    Father, mother god
    come to me
    guard me while I sleep
    guide my little feet
    unto thee
    
    amen
    
    
    Meg

    Thanks for the answers.

    No, no mention was made by anyone of prayers.  It didn't occur to me
    until a day or two later that there might be a conflict.  I don't know
    the parents all that well.  We've chatted in warmer weather when we
    walk by the others house, but that's about it.  I know I would not be
    bothered if my daughter joined their daughter in her prayers.  Whether
    it was at parental prompting or not, it would be a good learning
    experience.  I just got to wondering, so I asked!  

    Laura, would you mind sharing what you use, or would use for elementary
    level children?

    Thanks
    Debby

    I wasn't raised with bedtime prayers, but I feel they help settle my
    daughter and give her a strong emotional and spiritual grounding, so
    I've instituted the practice.
    
    I've never heard of particular Jewish bedtime prayers, beyond saying
    the one-line core Jewish affirmation of faith.  Here's what we do:
    
    1.  Sing a Hebrew (or is it Aramaic?) prayer which has a lullaby sort
    of melody.  It is frequently repeated in synagogue services, which she
    sometimes attends, so it is familiar to her.  
    
    This song prays for peace (Shalom) for us and for all "Israel" (the
    Jewish people.
    
    Her father does this with her when she's at his house.  I started this
    when we were together and she was a baby.
    
    2.  "God blesses" for whomever she wants to bless.  This is a Christian
    practice that I adopted and like a lot.
    
    Its funny when this degenerates into silliness and she starts blessing
    all her toys.  I then put a stop to it.  These blessings are for people
    and pets only.
    
    3.  Say the Sh'ma, the one-line core affirmation of faith, in Hebrew with 
    our eyes covered.  Repeat it in English,
    
    "Hear oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one."
    
    We cover our eyes so we can't see each other and mistakenly imagine the
    Holy One as looking like a person.  Judaism is very strict about having
    no anthropomorphic or animal representations of the image of divinity. 
    We share this practice with the Moslems, but diverge from most other
    faiths in this regard.
    
    
    We don't kneel in prayer.  This is contrary to our belief in the
    dignity of man.  Ilona says her prayers with me while she's sitting or
    laying down in bed.  I sit next to her.
    
    Laura

    I hang my head in shame, forgive me for forgetting my childhood bedtime
    prayer. Although I have no particular religious convictions, I am
    teaching my little one to say a prayer at night...(let him determine
    his own beliefs later) 
    
    Does anyone know the prayer that starts,
    
    Jesus tender shepherd, hear my prayer...
    
    I then would end it with the dutiful, God bless Mommy, and Daddy,
    Whitney, Richie, Renny, Remus, Domino, Butterscotch, Gran, and all of
    my family, friends, and oh, yes, God? Help me be a good little girl,
    Please ?!
    

    This is the way I learned it:
    
    	Jesus, tender shepherd, hear me.
    	Bless this little lamb tonight.
    	Through the darkness, be thou near me.
    	Keep me safe 'til morning light.
    
    
    Annie