Conference misery::feline

    Mary,
    
    Cats are very territorial and Fee-Fee is just defending her nest
    from intruders and making sure that Piggy-Pie dosn't get all her food.
    
    Give equal loving time, in separate places and give lots of love to
    Fee-Fee.  You may want to feed them in separate places for a while.  
    Cat's rarely take to one another quickly, they take their time but
    usually get acquainted in time.  It took my two lady cats a year to
    start playing together, but they had both been traumatized quite badly.
    Christopher, although had been a stray for a few days, I think he had
    always been loved before getting separated; he took no time at all
    to win his way in.
    
    We have had a great many strays over the years and they have always
    made their little corner on our house.  On the whole our present 5 get
    on very well.

    I guess my BIG question is:
    
         Is it best for cats to live in homes with other cats or are they
         just as happy and healthy alone?
    
    It is not too late to send Piggy-Pie back, but is that what's best for
    Fee-Fee?
    
    All opinions welcome.
    
    Thanks,
    
    Mary
    
    

    I think that most cats are better off having another around.
    They eventually get used to each other and share "cat" time
    when you are away.  Give it more time.
    Karen

	Mary, it sounds like your household is pretty much the same as mine was
when I brought the new cat home. Of course you may not have a scar to remember
it by. :-)  Isis would always play for hours, just by one moving their hand,
hiding around a corner, etc. Then KD came home, and when she first saw her, she
was puzzled. She started hissing and growling, and I made the mistake of trying
to pat her. She has very sharp claws. :-)  That first night I slept on the
couch, with the lights on, as I did not want them fighting. Isis slept by my
feet, KD by my head. That was a tough weekend. Within a couple of weeks Isis
didn't go after KD quite so often. But KD eats a ton of food, which sounds like
your situation too. I ended up having to feed them in seperate rooms. 

	If you saw the 2 today, you'd never know Isis didn't like KD. They are
always getting into trouble together and get along fine. When my roomate or
myself finally move out of our apartment, there are going to be 2 very sad
cats. :-) I would suggest that you give it time.


Glen

    Give it more time...and it will be worth it for both cats!! And
    give Fee fee alot of extra love because she feels her territory
    is being taken away by the new kitty!!
    
    I have introduced many cats to my household...and they all take
    time to adjust (some longer then others) but they all end up 
    friends in the end. 
    
    Sandy

    
    I think if there is always somebody home, then one cat is not
    too lonely. We have two cats from the same litter to keep each
    other company when we are at work and at school. If one of them
    decides to take a long summer stroll in the woods, the other one
    goes crazy looking for his brother. They sleep together and team
    up together to defend their territory. I think it is good for them
    to have each other. 
    
    We just added a new kitty recently - it's been 6 weeks. At the
    beginning the two cats weren't too crazy about the kitty, they
    hissed and growled at the kitty and at each other! One of the 
    cats was acting like he was mad at us, didn't purr, didn't want 
    to socialize with us, he is the dominant cat. The other cat didn't 
    mind the kitty as much. They all fought over the kitty toys and
    kitty chow, though. During the last few weeks, the cats actually
    let the kitten play with their tails. They will let her pester them
    for a little while and they'll tell her off. One cat went over and
    sat next to the kitty the other day. It was a funny sight since the
    kitty is not used to having a cat lean on her, she kept trying to
    yank her legs loose from underneath the cat. 
    
    Be patient, it takes time. Give the original cat lots of attention.
    Be consistent with the discipline. (I almost saw a smirk on the 
    cats' face when I had to get the kitty over the kitchen counter!)
    
    
    
    
    Eva

    
    Another "be patient, it takes time reply...."  8'D
    
    The Bales had a horrible time adjusting to Callie.  His negative
    behaviour however, was directed more towards me than to Callie.
    I admit that he would run over to her and whap her 'upside the head
    every once and a while, but he would make ME aware that he was not 
    pleased with MY decision to bring in a new baby.  Not sleeping with me,
    literally turning his back to me (he also used to do that when i would
    come back from a trip), not eating and basically just acting like the 
    spoiled brat that he was was the way that he got his point across.  After 
    he figured out that he was still the light of my life and Callie wasn't 
    going anywhere no matter what he did, he snapped out of it. 
    
    I must add that they NEVER became what I would call "friends".  They
    did not interact very much at all.  They didn't sleep with each other, 
    groom each other or sit with each other. They were two distinct 
    personalities with nothing in common other than the human that they 
    owned.... 
     
    

Ditto again...it takes time!  Sabrina *never* adjusts to a new cat any quicker
than 6 months!  During that time she'll be mad at the world.  She's lived 
through alot of playmates, too.  She was my first very own cat, has outlived
two other cats and adjusted to 4 others on top of that!  The other day I saw
her lick Gypsy for the first time, that was such a thrill to see!

Good luck!

Laura     
    

    I go along with everyone else!  It does take time..   When we
    introduced Oliver to Shilo I felt the same way that you do know.. 
    Shilo had had the run of the house for months....  He looked so sad
    after we brought in Oliver..  For day after day I would say to the rest
    of the family,"Shilo looks so sad".  
    
    Oliver had had an owner at one time (and I think for quite some
    time)when I guess the owner decided that they didn't need/want a cat
    anymore.  He was tossed into the woods somewhere in W.Boylston.. The
    Needed Cats Shelter found him..  They took him to the vets to have him
    checked out and get done what needed to be.. The vets gave us a call
    and said that if we wanted to come down and see him we would fall in
    Love..  Well we did and Shilo didn't ..
    
    It has been almost a year now and they are getting along.  The are not
    he best of buddies, but they seem to be getting along alot better.. 
    Shilo still thinks that he is number 1 kitty and sometimes lets Oliver
    know about..
    
    Please take time and try to tell Fee Fee that you do love him/her just
    as much as ever....  They will come around
    
    Best of luck to you and Fee Fee and Little Piggy Pie!
    
    
    *joyce
    

    Sandy,
    I too have brought in many cats over the years.  Well I have actually
    brought in fewer than "grew" the new ones.
    
    I have had maybe 4 different males brought in whole plus one as a
    kitten.  One of the 4 lives with us, the other 3 only on a "temporary"
    basis.  Most of my kitties have gone on as if nothing has happened.
    
    I see them have bouts of change when one actually leaves.  I guess they
    are just used to it.  
    
    Stinky has had the most to deal with.  He was here first about 11 years
    ago and had his first episode when Ruby got pregnant for the first
    time.  But that's another note!
    
    I feel that given time, different for everyone, 95% of the household
    cats will adjust and accept.  To love, maybe not, but adjust, yes.
    It is just up to the owner how they handle it.
    Karen

    
    For an, uhm, extended story of such an introduction that took time but
    worked, see note 509, the story of Merlin adapting to Rocky, Blueberry
    and Robin, and then the four of them having to adapt a year later to
    the arrival of His Eminence, Floyd.
    
    len.
    

    Hi,
    
    I know this is a little late--but I had to write and say
    to stick it out, too!!
    
    I went through the same thing you did with wondering about
    having a "single" cat.  I got Mandy while in college with
    two roommates--so she was hardly ever left alone.  When I
    moved here to work for Digital I wondered if she was lonely
    all day and wanted a playmate. (and to be fair--I wanted
    another one too!!)  So I decided that she needed a friend and
    brought home Moxie.
    
    Well, Mandy decided that she certainly did NOT need a friend
    and was just fine the way she was, thank you very much.  Before
    the kitten she was so cuddly and always slept by my head, kneading
    my hair until she fell asleep.  After the arrival of Moxie she
    wouldn't come to me for love at all, and certainly would not sleep
    on the bed.  (I think also because the kitten HAD to sleep by
    my neck for the first month or so...)
    
    I was very concerned that I had been a bad mom and had ruined
    Mandy's life--but now I am so glad that I did!  It took a long
    time--but soon Mandy could tolerate being in the same room, and
    eventually tried to "play".  At first--this playing consisted of
    her running across the room and going WHOOMP on the kittens head
    and then run run runnning away...but soon they started to wrestle.
    
    It has been about six months now and Mandy and Moxie are great
    friends.  They are very rough and tumble with each other, and 
    when she feels like it Mandy tries to groom Moxie.  Moxie usually
    responds with a "cut it out!" and it turns into a wrestling match--
    but Mandy tries.  They do not sleep together yet, but in the past
    month they have both started sleeping on the bed, and in the past
    week or two Mandy has resumed her place by my head.
    
    I used to read with envy the notes from people in here who have
    several cats that all get along and sleep with them, and I am
    happy to report that I am now one of them--and have spent many
    a night "trapped" in a certain position out of fear of trying to
    move one of my kids.
    
    Please stick with it!  It will take time--but each step in the 
    right direction will feel so good and it will be worth it in the
    end..even if you doubt yourself now.
    
    Alicia
    

    
    Well, I agree with all the notes, give it time.  I own two kitties,
    Shadow and Cuddles.  I thought that Shadow needed a playmate around
    x-mas time (not last x-mas but the one before).  I went to a shelter
    looking for the right kitten and found Cuddles.  I brought them home
    and placed Cuddles on the floor well Shadow hated it her hair all stood
    up on the back of her for the longest time.  This was on x-mas Eve on
    the first night I kept them away from each other and made a wish before
    I went to bed that night that when I woke up x-mas morning that they
    would get along.  Well the next morning my wish was answered, they have
    been the best of friends ever since.  
    
    So just give it time and patience!!  They both eat out of the same dish
    too, that has been say day 2 as well.
    
    Carol

    I don't think I've replied to this note yet, but I agree too.  When I
    introduced Sunny to Tita, Tita did not like him at all.  After a couple
    of months they were lovey dovey.  Thats why it has been hard on her to
    not have him around anymore. (he died)
    
    My two females will probably never get along, but they tolerate each
    other.  Hey, it makes life interesting.
    
    
    Donna

    Well, hang in there.  My female cat was 6 months old when I brought a
    new kitten into the house.  She literally terrorized that kitten for
    4 months.  I was beginning to think a playmate was not the right
    choice, so I decided to give it 2 more months, but soon after the 4
    month mark they became the bestest of buddies.  They remained good
    friends for the 1+ years of the kittens life.  After the kitten went to
    kitty heaven, the female was once again the sole cat in the household.
    She became *very* affectionate and talkative -- definitley a nice
    personality change for her.  But, 7 months later we decided to get her
    another playmate.  This time it took her less time to adapt (1 monthish), 
    but all those personality changes went away...and have never come back.  
    It's been 8 months.  I love her no matter what, but sometimes I think 
    she'd rather be without a playmate...although my spouse would disagree.
    
    Don't get me wrong, the two cats play together for hours, but the
    female is more introverted when there is another cat around.  For
    instance, when the kitten is around, the female cat will not play with
    us, but if we put the kitten in another room, the female goes nuts
    playing (we did this just as a test).
    
     - Lauri

    Well things have gotten a little better at Fee-Fee's and Piggy-Pie's
    house.  Fee-Fee has started to cuddle again and runs to greet me at the
    door.  Her sleeping routine has improved, except that when Piggy gets
    up at 4:00 am so does Fee-Fee (Mom and Dad, too).  She doesn't seem to
    be trying to eat all the other cat's food either.  Things are looking
    up.
    
    One little problem we've encountered though, is that Piggy-Pie went into
    heat on Sunday.  As anyone who has lived with a female cat in heat
    knows, she is REALLY annoying.  Fee-Fee is making the best of it
    though.  Because Piggy has become so amorous and passive, Fee-Fee has
    been able to beat the stuffing out of her and regain her rightful place
    as head of household.
    
    After reading all of your replies, it looks like we're progressing
    rather well.  Fee-Fee's wonderful and outgoing personality is returning
    to normal.  I just wished I was more fond of the new cat.
    
    Thank you all so much.
    
    Mary and the Girls  

    I know what you mean.   I'm glad to have Angel in the house, because it
    takes my mind off of Sunny.  I was very close to Sunny bunny.  Anyway,
    Angel is a nice tomcat, but I'm just not as close to him.  Its more my
    husbands cat than mine.  And thats fine with me.  But all of my cats
    get along pretty well.  I've learned that we are going to have hisses
    every now and then, but ours seem to do it out of boredom more than
    anything else.  
    
    I'm glad you wrote again.  I have been wondering how things were going.
    
    
    Donna