Conference misery::feline

Don't you mean the GLOBE? I can't imagine Diane White in the
HERALD.


                                      seh

    I heard in the news the other night that Bill Clinton gave the
    press he** because Socks was strolling on the lawn at the 
    Governors house...and the press kept picking her up!!!!
    
    Sure hope he keeps Socks as an indoor kitty at the white house!!
    
    Sandy

    Maybe we should send him a letter!
    Karen

    Gee, I would think the White House would be the safest
    place to have an indoor/outdoor kitty.....
    
    (personal kitty bodyguards and all! (8 )

Do we know for certain that Socks will have Secret Service protection? I
agree that a letter is in order!!! 8^$ <-(tongue in cheek)


                                      Susan

    If a letter, sign it for me, too... with purrs.
    
    Nat

    Er um,, I suspect that THE FIRM may have already offered thier er um
    expertise to Socks, and I also suspect that it might be better,
    if we as Humans ,let THE FIRM draft the letter to The Prez.
    We all know what happens everytime we "interfere" with feline
    business.. Sigh,,
    Kate, who  700 plus notes behind.. Hi Everybody..

    Hi Kate!!!!!  Welcome back!!!!!  We sure miss you around here!!
    I hope all is well with the girls and you.  Julie says hi Auntie Katie! 
    And Biff says...well, Biff waved his paw....
    
    Mary
    
    P.S.  Deb, does one particular pussycat handle publicity?  Blue needs a
    good agent, too......
    

    I'm not sure about this matter of the letter; you see, all members of
    THE FIRM are stanch Republicans; should Socks change party
    affiliations, I'm sure that THE FIRM would be representing said feline.
    On the other hand, I seem to recall Dian Wilde making the statement
    that all felines are members of the GOP, in which case I'm sure that
    THE FIRM would be only too happy to go after Sock's non-Republican
    human. 

    Deb

    P.S. Mary, Spiro does "entertainment law", and I think that publicity
    falls under his practice.

    There was a picture of Socks on the front page of yesterday's New York
    Times. He was hunched down with that "panic kitty" look, as five
    photographers huddled around trying to take his picture. 
    
    The photographers looked silly. Socks looked perturbed. 
    
    Kate
    
    

    I'm getting worried about Socks.  The Clintons should keep him in
    the house and away from those lunatics.  Suppose he panics and runs
    into the street.
    

    I was watching the TV where all the photographers/newspersons
    were trying to entice Socks with catnip, and then picking/patting/
    handling the cat!!!!
    
    The urge to bean one of those bozo's off the head was hard to
    suppress......

    
    Maybe if we sent them each a rambunctious little stray kitty, they 
    wouldn't feel the need to bother Socks so much and we could make 
    room in local shelters for those really in need (only problem is 
    I'm not sure if paparazzi in general would make very reliable
    parents ;-)

    Re: .11   �From USENET : rec.pets.cats�
    
 President-elect Bill Clinton is furious at news photographers for luring
 Socks, his daughter's cat, into camera range after he gave the press
 specific orders to lay off the cat.
 
 One Clinton staffer said the offenders used a form of catnip to lure Socks
 outside the gates of the Arkansas Gov's Mansion.
 
 Photos appeared in many newspapers as Clinton headed to Washington to meet
 with President Bush.  They angered both Chelsea & her father, aides
 reported. "The photographers don't have the common decency to leave a
 little girl's pet alone," one staffer said.
 
 A previous warning had been issued last Saturday: "Special note to all
 press from the highest authority --- don't touch the cat again." 
 Clinton's warning was prompted by a photo of the new first feline being
 held aloft by a television cameraman that appeared in many newspapers last
 Friday.  Daughter Chelsea was upset by the photo, which was but one
 example of the impact her father's new job is having on her life.
 
 A source close to Clinton said grimly that there may be retribution for 
 tampering with the cat.
 

    Oh, oh!! Don't let the FIRM know about this "retribution for tampering
    with the cat" business!! Or have they read the paper yet.  This could
    start a horrific phase of malcontent kitties.  I can see them now...
    parading about and demanding Fancy Feast Pate'.  Josette will be very
    upset,especially since she has been promoted to Grand Dame of the
    household. She will be taking liberties with everyone!  Well, if you
    don't hear from me for a few days, someone please come to the house and
    let me out of the cage!
    Karen

    Hi all,, I  have missed every one here as well..
    Mary,, according to MS PRESCHIE.. SPIROS is very well versed in
    entertainment. It is my understanding from certain sources...
    that MS Preschie has engaged him in her quest for an Agent.
    We did the acfa show in June, and I had it taped.. and she now
    has herself on Video. We watch it everynite.. while we are being
    groomed.. of course,, according to certain inside sources..
    I amat risk of being sued,, as I  have  "tardy" a few times
    in turning it on.. Mamacin, Auntie Marlene, and Dr Eric
    have been "awarded courtesy copies..".. According to my source...
    SPIROS will be contacting Auntie Marlene directly as she is
    on the WEST COAST,, and will be attempting to convince  her
    to pay his AIRFARE and accomdations so that he  can meet
    with Coppolla, speilburg etc. He is of course expecting
    that Marlene will have er um set up the " meetings"..
    HUGS TO ALL..
    Mary, tell Julie that Auntie Kate says hi.. and  give Biff
    hugs too as well as everyone else.. I just started ti read
    about Blue,, God Bless you,, Mary..
    Kate

    Another article on Socks complete with the infamous picture of the 
    person holding the cat; the one that has Clinton upset.
    
From the San Jose Mercury News - November 10, 1992 - without permission.


CLINTONS AND CAT TO CHANGE COURSE FOR PRESIDENTIAL PETS

PROFILE:  Feline Bound for White House draws dog lovers' howls of 
disapproval.

By Laura Blumenfeld, Washington Post


CAT in the White House, rats beware.

Socks, the first cat-elect, soon will be slinking through the Blue Room, 
pawing over documents on the president's desk, pouncing out to greet the 
commander in chief when he steps off Air Force One.  Fabulous, cat 
people purr.  But traditionalists wonder:  How presidential is a man 
with a pussycat on his lap?

"A dog is an obvious for the president," said Mike Deavwer, President 
Reagan's chief image maker.  "They're the most American pet there is."

Cats are for wusses, dog lovers say.  They are preening, finicky, 
spooky-eyed stalkers that historically have been worshiped as gods or 
hanged as witches.

Dogs invoke masculine images of thick-shouldered hunters thundering 
through the woods.  They are a photo-op prop, a way to divert reporters,
someone you can count on to lick your hand when everyone else has 
bitten.

THE CLINTONS had a dog, but a car ran over him a few years ago, a 
spokesman said.  Bill wanted a new dog.  Hillary and Chelsea vetoed the 
proposal, so they got Socks -- black body, white feet -- now 2 1/2 years 
old.  Chelsea, 12, carries him around a lot.  He doesn't do any tricks, 
except make Bill and Hillary sneeze.

And he won't be writing any books, said Frank Greer, Clinton's media 
consultant.  The Bushes' pet springer spaniel earned nearly $890,000 in 
royalties from "Millie's Book."

"Socks has been through a lot this past year" with so many strangers 
tracking through his house, Greer said.  "He gauges everyone when they 
walk in, rubs their leg if he likes them.  He's pretty laid back, 
though, definitely not neurotic."

Even so, Clinton should get a dog, a mutt, to help his populist image, 
said Nial Kelly, author of "Presidential Pets."  Kelly said only two 
presidents have had cats since 1932, Carter and Ford, "and that's not an 
encouraging sign."

Cat fanatics hiss at the suggestion.

"A cat is more thoughtful, a lot hipper, a lot cooler," said Peter 
Gethers, author of "The Cat Who Went to Paris," one of a litter of cute 
cat books.  "And that's Clinton; it fits his image -- wearing dark 
glasses, playing the sax with a cool cat nearby."

Socks shows that the Clintons are typical of today's young families, 
said Bob Fleming, national president of the Cat Fanciers Federation.

Cats have edged out dogs as America's top pet, according to a survey by 
the American Veterinary Medical Association.  In 1991, the national 
felinen population was 57 million compared with 52.5 million canines.

White House pets weren't always a two-party ticket.  Taft kept a 
Holstein cow.  Andrew Johnson cared for a family of mice.  Wilson kept 
sheep on the south lawn.  Theodore Roosevelt adopted ferrets and a 
kangaroo.

Mostly, though, there have been presidential pooches, who have brought 
both political gain and shame on their masters.  Voters never forgave 
Lyndon Johnson for picking up his beagles by the ears.

But Franklin Roosevelt's Scottie, Fala, buried near the foot of his 
grave, helped clinch the 1944 re-election.  The incumbent said he could 
deal with smear campaigns aimed at him or his family but would not 
tolerate attacks on his dog.  Pet lovers lapped it up.

SOMETIMES the dog thing has come in handy.  President Ford's golden 
retriever, Liberty, would jump up on cue and wag his tail at guests who 
had overstayed their welcome.  Ford would pause and chuckle 
"heh-heh-heh," or something, then indicate that it was time for his next 
appointment.

On other occasions, dogged behavior went too far.  When Barbara Bush 
gave Sam Donaldson a White House tour, Millie licked herself -- there --
on camera.  Charlie, the Kennedys' Welsh terrier, thought Jackie 
Kennedy's ankle was a fire hydrant.  Nixon's Irish setter, King Timahoe, 
chomped up a corner of the Oval Office rug.  And Jimmy Carter's dog, 
Grits, left Washington amid rumors that he was never "White House 
broken."

Now Socks will join other feline notables such as Amy Carter's Siamese, 
Misty Malarky Ying Yang.  Or Coolidge's Tiger, a striped alley cat, who 
once ran away.  Coolidge got on the radio and asked for help to find 
Tiger.

    Yet another bit on Socks from the SJ Mercury News, November 10, 1992.
    Once again, without permission.
    
    
    Profile of an animal who rarely affects the issues that affect you.
    
    SOCKS CLINTON
    
    Profession:  Cat of the first family-elect.
    
    Where he stands:  Close to legs of those he favors.
    
    Quote:  "Socks has been through a lot this past year...He's pretty laid
             back." -- Frank Greer, Clinton's media consultant.
    
    Background:  The choice of Chelsea and Hillary Clinton after the
                 family's pet dog was run over a few years back.  The
                 president elect remains a dog person.
    
    Achievements:  Makes Bill and Hillary sneeze.  Won't be writing any
                   books.  "Definitely not neurotic," according to 
                   Clinton's media consultant.
    
    Hobbies:  Instant evaluation of strangers in his house.
    

    Gee..  everyone knows it takes intelligence, patience, perseverence,
    cooperation and lots of tact to relate to a cat.  Seems to me those
    would be great things to have in a president.  
    
    Linda :^)

    Re: A source close to Clinton said grimly that there may be
    retribution for tampering with the cat.
    
    Hm, altered newsphotographers?
    

    They're going to "tutor" those photographers.  Sounds like a 
    plan to me.
    
    Jan

    I believe that Socks will be one of the feature stories on
    Entertainment Tonight either tonight or tomorrow, I didn't catch that. 
    It's Ch. 4 at 7 or 7:30 p.m.  They showed Socks walking down a
    sidewalk...he's really cute.  All black with a few white spots here and
    there that don't seem to match.  He looked really content...
    
    Diana

Socks walking down a sidewalk? Must've been planning his
grand entrance for the inaugural ball. 8^)


                                  Susan

    I actually wasn't home last night and missed the show.  Did anyone see
    it?
    
    Diana

    .14 - I saw a photo in the Boston Globe of three or four photographers
    on their knees desperately trying to get Socks to look in their
    direction.  Of course, being a true cat, Socks was looking the other
    way.  
    
    Dog/cat difference - my observation:  
    
    	Dogs are easy to fool.  They live to please.  It's easy for a
    	human to make a dog wag it's tail.
    
    	Dogs are favorite pets of dictators.
    
    	Cats are skeptical.  They want to BE pleased.  Anyone who lives
    	with a cat can expect to spend much of the time experiencing
    	kitty rejection, one way or another.
    
    	Cats wouldn't be seen dead living with a dictator.
    
    Just my point of view.  

    I think Entertainment tonight has a weekend show that's a "highlights"
    of that week's shows, so you may be able to catch it on that.
    

    I just caught a bit of an E.T. show that was highlighting the past
    year, and there was Socks...strolling around with reportors taking
    pictures.  They had a side note saying that the Clinton's were considering
    giving Socks kitty valium because he's not himself from all the stress
    of the photographers.  They were smirking when they said this...I hope
    it's not true  8>(
    
    Di

    I saw the cutest thing on the news last night.  This guy was selling
    bumper stickers in D.C. for the inauguration, and it said "I Brake for
    Socks" and it has a picture of a kitty playing with yarn.  It was
    pretty cute...

    They were showing "Socks'" room on the tv last night....
    Champagne bottles full of catnip & milk, lots of stuffed cats
    and cat toys and plushy cushions, and that tape of birds and
    wildlife for cats to entertain themselves with....
    

[Reprinted without permission from the New York Times Sunday Magazine 
 January 17, 1993]


				Cat's Credo
				     by
			      Garrison Keillor


First of all, I may not go.
I said to them two months ago,
I may stay here, I just don't know.
Oh, it's an honor to be First Cat, I'm sure,
And live in a mansion and have a chauffeur,
But I'm a Little Rock cat from Arkansas,
So was my ma and so was my pa
And all my friends and loved ones dear.
I'd be just as happy to stay right here.

If that sounds bitter, I have a right to be.
For the past two years I'd look and see
Them grinning and waving on TV
(They never grinned or waved at me),
As they hunted down every vote, 
And they never called, they never wrote,
And I lost eight ounces and my hair turned gray,
And I felt forlorn, and then one day
Suddenly they come home and say:
"In January, we're going away!
We got elected, Socks. Hurray!"

Next morning, I head out to meet some friends
When a mob of photographers descends
And corners me on the sidewalk,
And one of them snatches me up like a hawk
And hold me high -- how vulgar and vile!
Like I'm and exhibit at a trial! --
The cameras snapping -- you expect me to be
Thrilled about moving to Washington, D.C.?

Oh, I'll go.  No sweat.  Open the gate,
I'll be First Pet, be a cat of state,
And behave with decorum (which, just between us,
Ain't that hard for the feline genus).
But first, let's talk -- I understand
That even though the place is grand,
The White House and the White House grounds
Have long been used as a home for hounds,
Big hairy dogs, great filthy louts
With muddy feet and drippy snouts.
Before this cat strolls through the door,
Every room and every floor
Must be cleaned and steamed and swept and sanded,
And all the backyard be replanted.
Dogs are brutes, they just squat and *do it.*
I hope you don't expect me to walk through it!
I may be criticized, I may be villified,
But that White House must be deMilliefied.

I'm going on one condition: that I be
Given absolute privacy.
No one will have access to me.
I won't sit on his lap as a prop
For a warm and fuzzy photo op
When his approval ratings drop,
Or run alongside as he jogs on the beach
Or smile adoringly during a speech.
Let me say plainly, as life is my teacher,
A cat is not a political teacher.
I won't press the flesh or get with the plan.
I won't catch mice
Or be an ornament.
I'll give advice,
Sometimes consent,
Always concise
And intelligent.
Mostly I will lie in the sun
Nobly ignoring man,
As cats have done
Since time began.


--------------

Garrison Keillor is the host of "Garrison Keillor's American Radio
Company," on which he delivered a version of this poem after the
election in November.

    
    
    Someone actually reported that Socks' litter box is in the Engineer's
    room in the basement of the White House.  It's no wonder the poor 
    thing needs kitty-valium.  I'd need it too if I had reporters 
    running around my house checking out my bathrooms - Next they'll
    be taking pictures of poor kitty using the litter box.  Maybe if 
    they gave the reporters rotating-scooping-duty, they'd realize 
    kitties need privacy too.  Sigh.  Isn't there anything more 
    important going on at the Whitehouse?  
     
    

    Saw Socks on Good Morning America yesterday or the day before.  Some
    White House Aid was walking him on a leash on the White House lawn!
    Yeah!  They aren't going to risk letting him run loose.
    
    Jo

It didn't look to me like Socks was walking. It looked more like
he (she?) was standing there, with the walker tugging uselessly
at the leash. About right for a cat....

/ald

    About the same experience I had when I first tried to get either of my
    cats to "walk" on a leash.  Of course, these days they are both so old
    that I don't bring them outside even if I am working in the garden
    outside myself, because they are not as fast as they used to be and
    would not be able to outrun the other neighborhood pets (lots of dogs
    and other cats in my neighborhood).
    
    /Charlotte

    They had a picture of Socks on his leash in the San Jose Mercury News
    yesterday too.  In this picture, I could have sworn that Socks was
    spraying the shrubbery on the White House lawn!! :')
    
    Jo

    
    I have a question that could win the Stupid Question of The Day
    Award, is Socks a male or a female cat?   
    
    A co-worker asked me, and I didn't have the answer for him.  He even
    sent an EMail message to Clinton to find out...  :-)
    
    If anyone has the official gender of the First Cat, can you 
    post it?  
    
    Thank You,
    -John
    

    The article I typed into 440.17 refers to Socks as a he.
    
    Jan