Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

    It's the wrong time to think about draining the swamp when
    you're already up to your *** in allegators.

    If the mom and dad could work it out they'd probably still
    be married.

    Let's see... Give him the child and burn her at the stake
    as a witch?

    Have him committed as "unstable"?

    Raise him as a Buddhist? Hindu?  

    I GOT IT!    Unitarian!  That way, *no* one will be happy! :-) :-) :-)

    Tom :-)

    Tom!!!  (-:)
    
    Actually the UU church for the mother and child would be a good
    solution.
    
    A woman going through the divorce process and all the difficulty it
    encompasses could use the support of a faith community.  As the woman
    becomes more comfortable with her own spirituality, even if remaining
    an atheist, she will become less bitter about Christianity.
    
    The Child in learning about multiple religions and in learning that he
    himself is responsible for defining his own spirituality will have the
    tools to assess for himself whether he wants to know more about
    Christianity or not!.

    Sorry.  :*)  You're probably right.

    Really, the devil got into my keyboard and made me do it!  :*)

    Tom,
    
    You have a good fourth too!
    
    
    We have a new minister coming into our church in September.  He is
    contracting to double our church's membership in three years.
    
    So he is off to create a corp of
    
    
    Evangelical UU's.
    
    Thanks for the opportunity to practice !
    
                                            

    Z    If the mom and dad could work it out they'd probably still
    Z    be married.
    
    Tom:
    
    This goes under the very issue I spoke to you about a few weeks ago. 
    That being the topic of seperation.
    
    "Be not unequally yoked with non believers, for what fellowship hath
    light with darkness...?"  
    
    Paul put forth the very thing that should be avoided.  This man either
    disregarded this portion of scripture, to wit the family is in
    disharmony and will be for the rest of his youth, or the husband was an
    atheist and converted...in which case it is simply a very unfortunate
    situation.
    
    Sounds like the husband has strong cause for much fasting and praying.
    "The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God."  I truly feel sorry
    for this family.  They are in for some rough times.
    
    -Jack

    >They are in for some rough times.
    
    I worry most about the kid.  Seems like he's becomming a pawn in this
    marital battle.  And he's becomming very confused.
    
    -dave

    Dave,
    
    religion is just another weapon that the parents are using in their
    anger for each other.  It is unfortunate.  When parents cannot act as
    grown ups, it is the children that are hurt.
    
    Fortunately many women and men do recover from the bitterness of
    Divorce and proceed to become reasonable adults again.
    
    Either of the two parents can by themselves choose to deescalate the
    religious battle they are waging at their sons expense.
    

 I believe the father should, when his son is with him, gently expose him
 to the truth of the scriptures, and expose him to good gospel preaching.
 The father should live a godly example to his son, and NEVER be critical
 of the child's mother.  He should not force faith on him but gently
 show him the love of Christ.  

 As my pastor once told his son who was fixing his bike, and was putting
 a nut on a bolt and couldn't get it to go on straight "don't force it".

 I am finding that with my  youngest son, though his mother is not an
 atheist or anti Christian, that forcing anything on him does not work..
 

 I suggest the following:

 1. pray

 2. pray

 3 lead by example, gently

 4. expose him, gently to Biblical preaching and teaching

 5. Pray.


 Praise God, the above seems to be working in my own son.


 Jim
 

    But apparently the more the father speaks of God, the more the mother
    works to reduce the visitations rights of the father.  Seems ridiculous
    for two adults to act in this way.  But maybe both of them are sure
    they're doing the right thing for the boy.  And when one parent has the 
    majority of control, compromise becomes less of an option.
    
    

Re: .9 Dave

>    But apparently the more the father speaks of God, the more the mother
>    works to reduce the visitations rights of the father.

Fortunately, it sounds like the judge isn't buying it.

Jim had some good advice for the father in .8.  My advice for the mother
is that she should be teaching her son to be tolerant of all religions.
She shouldn't be be mocking Christianity, but should simply explain to her
son that his father is a Christian and she is an atheist, and that
religious belief is something that each person has to decide for himself
or herself.

				-- Bob

    I think the hard part of the equation is "what brand of Christianity"
    is the father advocating.
    
    If he is pushing that the mother is damned and going to hell because
    she is not a Christian, then if I were the mother I too would be
    objecting.  Unfortunately Christianity can be used to abuse others and
    if it is part of a bag of tools for undermining the mother, then that
    is a problem.
    
    I still think the UU solution would be a good one.
    
    
                                  Patricia

 The father should not say anything to the son regarding the spiritual state
 of the mother.  

    
    This sounds vaguely familiar.  There was a story in the papers a couple
    of years ago about a Washington state couple who went through something
    very similar.  Big press conference about how we Christians are being
    persecuted, etc.   I remember because the state representative from the
    area (Walla Walla) got a lot of press out of it.  Turns out that when
    the whole truth is told, the Christian mother was using her religion to
    bash the kid's father.  Sinner, damned, etc.  Tried to convince the kid
    that Christians don't associate with non-Christians, even if they are
    your father.  As usual with this kind of story, the follow-up got a lot
    less attention than the sensational original.

    Re .10 (Bob)
    
    The mother should be more tolerant.  But I think there's still a lot of
    baggage from the divorce thing and the mother, either consciously or 
    subconsciously, is using the religion thing to strike back at the father.
    It's not something he has much control over.  The problems between the
    two of them were created by them.  I see the kid as being the real victim
    here.
    
    Re .11 (Patricia)
    
    >what brand of Christianity?
    Baptist (I think)
    
    He does not speak down to the mother.  In fact, I feel that it's the
    other way around.  But I only hear one side of the story.  He just wants 
    to make peace with her on this and be allowed to expose his kid to 
    christianity.  But, as we all know, Mom usually gets the upper hand in
    the custody stuff and she won't back off while she has the upper hand.
    
    -dave