Conference 7.286::golf

         It was just too nice of a day to waste doing yard work.
         God told me to go play and who wants to mess with god?
         The devil made me do it.
         Would you rather have me here at home yelling at the kind and
         beating the dog?
         How many times do I have to tell you Saturday is my golf day.
         I promis to do all the cooking and wash all the dishes and
         do all the house work for the next month if you let me play
         today.
          
    
    KENDALL

Unfortunately my wife has consigned herself to the fact that I will spend
time golfing.  She resorts to reasoning like:

- I get to spend an equivalent amount of money shopping and you do on
  golf.   Or even worse:
- I get to spend an equivalent amount of TIME shopping as you do on
  golf!  (Unlike wives that like to shop around, the thrill for my
  wife is strictly in actual act of purchasing.)

I guess the last reason is why I get up before dawn to get to the course.  That 
way I can get home before I'm bankrupt.

Larry

    	Although I have many, my favorite has to be, "Jeez, 3 out of
    the last 4" or something like that, "times I've played, it's rained
    and today it's beautiful out."  At which point, she usually says,
    "Allright, go ahead", and hangs her head a little.  I usually just
    stop off every once and awhile, and get her some flowers. 
   
                                                   Beak

    I don't mean to be male chauvinist but here goes.
    To use the Jackie Gleason phrase from his Honeymooners show.
    
    "Because I'm king any your nuttin".
    
    Just kidding here are the real one-
    
    But Hon, I worked so hard this week I just want to go relax-
    (then you go out and shoot in the 50's and come back in a worse
    mood that really get's her.) 
    
    I just went by the course and there no body out there-
    (and you come back in 8 hours---wooops)
    
    Theres a whole bunch of guys goin out can I join them-
    (and 4 or 5 of the guys you golf with eiter call you or stop by
    while you out there---Oh Sh*$!)
    
    I'll catch up around the house during the week hon!
    (and you join two more leagues plus softball---ooooh noooo)
    
    These are just a few, the list could go on forever.
    
    Bob Montville
    

    I usually plan it well in advance, at least 5 or 10 minutes.
    
    Honey, oh honey, it sure is to nice of a day to waste it 
    all working. She knows what that means by now. So I either
    get positive feed back or negative. 
    
    Live is for the living, and there is no sense in working
    oneself to death.
    
    
    Dave 

         I tried this this weekend and had good results, I was a real
    grouch and finally she said why don't you go to the course and
    take your frustration on a bucket of balls and we all know what
    hitting a bucket of balls lead to. 
         As a last resort I invite the little woman to come along.
    
    Kendall
    

	How about the new one courtesy of Stow Acres.  "Honey I have a
	tee time, if I don't go they'll charge my credit card!"

    
    I just take my wife with me. She loves to play as much as I do.
    
    Mike

    -1 You have a built-in excuse. Just gotta say 'I always take you
    with me, this time I'm going with the boys'.
    
    Smitty

    
    I guess I'm pretty lucky, because my wife likes to 'lay out' and
    then go shopping on either Sat or Sun.  She doesnt mind me going
    golfing when she does this, because I dont like to do either.
    
    
    BTW-- Just before going out the door, make sure 'accidently' place
    all the credit cards in your wallet and hide the check book.
    Even letting the air out of the tires on her car MIGHT work. :>)
    
    						...mike
    
    

    
    Dear, how do ever expect me to make it on the Pro Tour if I don't
    practise!
    
    As she's killing herself with laughter, I slip out to the course.
    
    			Once a duffer, always ........
    
    				Mark
    

    
    I'm pissed and need to legally knock the hell out of something!
    
    
    
   greg

    Never really needed an excuse to play, but if I ever do...
    	My excuse for playing golf would be...

		    "Want to drive the cart."

    See note 299.6 for further explanation. 

    Mike, who slices, ... 

    THIS ONE ALWAYS WORKS!
    
    WELL DEAR, IT'S MY ONLY DAY OFF. THE SUN IS SHINING.  THE WEATHER
    IS SPECTACULAR.  BESIDES, IF YOU WON'T LET ME PLAY, THEN I'LL SPEND
    THE WHOLE DAY WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    			CHRIS - THE SECURITY HACKER