Conference napalm::commusic_v1

    About a year ago, I was on an Eno binge (I could never tell if the
    CD was skipping or if that was the way he intended it to sound).
    I started really thinking about ambient music (noise). I mounted
    my porta-studio in my car and went driving around. I was really
    amazed (I actually sat and listened to the tape) to hear many sounds
    that I had never heard before. As far as suggestions for your samples,
    how about:
    
        brake squeel,
    	transmission grinding
        electric fuel pump whining (it really keeps on whining even
    	    though my mind shuts it off)
    
    As far as musical noise, how about guitar chords played on an out
    of tune guitar (I guess we've all heard enough of that).
    
    pcv
    	

    
    120Hz hum...I see more of that in dirty power feeds than 60Hz
    pops and clicks between patch changes
    lead singer dropping microphone 
    
    CdH
    

    How about the sound of a Jacob's ladder?  Or maybe the sounds of
    balloons rubbing together, fingernails on chalkboard, a gas furnace
    starting up?
    
    Steve

    The sound of a squeeky drummer's throne.
    
    Edd (who_didn't_hesitate_10_seconds_before_he_stole_this_from_len)

    I think you guys are missing the point.  The samples are supposed
    to be sounds that you might hear from a live recording as opposed
    to a sequenced recording.
    
    My suggestions:
    
    	1) Samples of people coughing, clearing their throats, etc.
           These would be used just before the music starts.
    
    	2) The sound of the telephone ringing.  This is based on a
    	   derivative work of Murphy done by a guy named Nietskcilb
    	   whose theory goes something like "The likelihood of the
    	   telephone ringing increases 100 fold when recording a live
    	   track using microphones."
    
    	   (Perhaps my most valuable piece of equipment I've recently
    	   bought was a phone with a ringer on/off switch.)
    
    	   You might also want to consider other sounds like a refrigerator
    	   turning on, the heating system turning on, a cat meowing,
    	   a loud squeal caused by a cat walking across the gain button,
    	   doorbells, trucks passing by outside, etc.
    
    	3) Pre-recorded tape hiss
    
    	4) Sesame street sounds (which inevitably bleed through from
    	   the kids room while your recording).
    
    	db

    
    
    How about the sound of an electric guitar crashing to the floor
    cuz the guitarist didn't have strap locks on his axe....
    
    ....or the squeal of the lead singer turning his back to the monitors
    or jumping out in front of the mains....
    
    ....then there's the awful frying sound of a feedback loop when
    you forget to take a multitrack deck out of record upon playback.....
    
    ....or the sound of my bass player giggling in the corner of the
    studio, cuz he just cut a ripe one and nobody's heard it.....
    
    Ralph
    
    

    Okay, how about the sound of someone tapping their fingers on a table 
    or a chair, tapping their feet, ruffling/turning music sheets,
    mumbling (rhubarbing), creaking theater seets, squeeking doors,
    barking dogs outside, passing traffic, clinking glasses and plates,
    sizzling steaks, or a cash register.  More what you had in mind?
    
    Steve

    
    	How about a "crowd murmur" background sample from an intermission
    at (insert favorite club here)??
    
    	Joe Jas
    

    
    LOWER				UPPER
    
    Person spitting    			Melon pip hitting liberty bell
    
    So when I get to hear KM's sampled piece of resistance on CMIV
    I could 'That was a.." (presses low key and pauses. Presses high
    key) "..of a toon."
                                          
    Sorry - just something I've always wanted to do. And whenever
    I want to do it, there's never a melon or a Liberty bell in sight.
    
    Richard.

    Sampled tape hiss!!!! I love it!!!!
    
    Edd

    > Sampled tape hiss!!!! I love it!!!!
    
    How ya gonna _loop_ it ?!?!?  :-)  
    
    	(you can stop groaning now)  
    
                
    
    Mirage Disk #2:
    	
    	    		Lower			Upper
            
    1		Door slamming		Table creaking
    
    2		Coke Machine 		Distorted Truckers	       
    		 dropping a can		 on C.B. Radio  
                                        
    3		Mike (in mikestand)	Sampler floppy disk seeking  
    		 falling over            for missing/errored sector
    

    gee whiz. such abuse.. on commusic III I put in such wonders as
    
    o	someone pissing into a bucket (looped) [Agua Caliente='hot water']
    
    o	cheezy STEREO windchimes 
    
    o	wheezy new age wimpo chorus
    
    o	lots'o'congas. like one million
    
    ... and get SHOT by certain persons for it ... now after a drunken
    Wednesday night LERDS-BIM it's suddenly FUN. Why wasn't it FUN when
    *I* did it ? huh ?
    
    okay. since I don't use mics regularly in the studio I'm spared
    delights like the phone ringing and toilet flushing.. however,
    there's always pops from the refrigerator and furnace cycling on
    and off.. also the little 'dings' from the Macintosh telling me
    I have to first select an area to edit.. or the sustained tone from
    the Mac when it first crashes.. or the sucking sound my headphones
    make when I pull them from my ears.. or the nasty squeal and creak
    of my 1940's vintage swivel chair.

    karl

    
    > Why wasn't it fun when *I* did it?
    
    No beer.
    
    By the way Karl, don't be upset if you return from work some night
    to find your house being seiged by Z-stat wielding MIDI-terrorists.
    
    Doesn't somebody wanna hear about fault tolerant diagnostics???
    
    Edd

< Note 1205.13 by JAWS::COTE "Is he gonna buy? Or is he gonna pay?" >
>    By the way Karl, don't be upset if you return from work some night
>    to find your house being seiged by Z-stat wielding MIDI-terrorists.
    
    No problemo, Eduardo, I've moved.. you couldn't find me .. oops,
    you have my address, I forgot. Uh, what's a 'Z-Stat' and how does
    one defend oneself (and one's magnetic media) against same ?
    
>    Doesn't somebody wanna hear about fault tolerant diagnostics???

    Why is it that I don't understand you anymore ? Perhaps if my liver
    was doing the rhumba too I might ... okay, Edd, seeing as this whole
    topic is a garbage note, whyncha tell us all about fault tolerant
    diagnostics ?
    
    karl (p.s. 80�F yesterday.. shirtsleeve weather)

    Ah, I've got one more sample for the list...
    
    Randomly generated pops and clicks to give your recordings that
    "antique" vinyl ambiance....
    
    Edd

>By the way Karl, don't be upset if you return from work some night
>to find your house being seiged by Z-stat wielding MIDI-terrorists.

    and another thing.. if you go stumbling around my yard in the dark
    expect to get multiple perforations.. my entire front yard is filled
    with cactus ! - beavertail, aloe, some BIG agaves.. all with long
    spikes. we call it our 'pay attention' yard.
    
    Also if a LERDS-BIM attendee is really visiting Tucson, things would
    go better if this person announced himself.
    
    karl

    Not to spoil the current tack, but as for a junk sample ...
    
    Cross fade minor POT dirt (lower) to a real stinker, like intermittent
    pops 'n' sizzles (upper). 

    Or, you could always borrow my 10 yr. old BiAmp board.

    And we don't have cactus plants in Ohio - but we do have lots of
    multi-flora rose (thanks, FDR, you bozo) and poison ivy.  Is that
    why my COMMUSIC submission sounds scratchy?

see, I can be stupid too.  &*}

    I have a cactus in my front garden. I won it at a Church bazaar
    when I was about six, and it remained the same size for 23 years.
    
    Lat year I threw the little sod out of the window, and it's sat
    in the flower-bed taking the piss ever since.
    
    See? This note unites agua caliente, cacti AND downright lies
    IN $ 4 LINES ONLY.
    
    Richard.

    
    This has nothing to do with sampling, but in the summer, when
    the windows are open, you can just about guarantee that most of
    my recordings will include the sounds of cars passing (a nice shhhoooom
    way in the background) and on warmer nights, the sounds of crickets.
    
    Some of these sounds can make a pretty nice intro to a song.  Now I'm
    thinking of the dialog between frog and farmer on Little Feat's "Down
    on the Farm."
        
    	"Reedip"
    	"Shutup"
    	"Reedip"
    	"Shut. Up!"
    	Pause.
   	"That's better."
    
    
    	"Reedip."

    > and on warmer nights, the sounds of crickets.
    
    I love that sound. You can use it to approximate the temperature.     
    
                               *******************
    
    OK, enough seriousness!! If I sample crickets and then play them
    back an octave higher will my recording sound warmer?
    
    Edd

    To give this note a bit of redeeming value, and since most of you
    fellows (apologies to Richard, Paul, km�, and whoever else) are from
    the good ole NE ... 

    There's lots of blow in the news about this Dukakis fellow.  Opinions?
    Wonder what HE thinks about DAT locks? 

    Some more ideas:
    
    	o The obligatory "PFFFSSS" and "SSSSS" on vocal tracks that
    	  send the meters into the red.
    
    	o The sound of the singer bumping into the Mike
    
    	o Any sound from my Casio RZ-1
    
    	o The sound of tape saturation (we could use Yerazunis' copy
    	  of Commusic IV ;-) )
    
    My opinion on Dukakis: No way!  I don't want a national version
    of the infamous Seat Belt Law which Mike managed to slip in, and
    the good people of the commonwealth repealed resoundingly.
    
    Next thing you know, he's gonna make it illegal not to brush your
    teeth before you go to bed.
    
    His taking credit for the general economic health in MA is sorta
    like the weatherman taking credit for the sunshine.
    
    	db
    

    You mean that it isn't against the law now to brush your teeth before
    you go to bed? Are you calling my mother a lier.
    
    COMMUSIC... where else could you read about such diverse subjects
    as proper care of cacti, weather reports from crickets, seat belts
    for cars, sunshine reports from weatherman, proper care of cacti,
    weather reports from crickets, seat belts for cars, sunshine reports
    from weatherman. Oops, I got carried away... Just like "Digital
    is a software company" coffee cups.
    
    What is this subject know? Oh yeah... I want to hear samples of
    the Duke throwing a cactus out the window and hitting a cricket
    thats playing the temp.
    
    ;^)
    
    pcv

    Lower: Mac Plus startup beep	Upper: Mac floppy groaning
    					(This has to be constrained
    					 to the three tones that it plays...)
                 
    
                   Eirikur's housemate's unfed cats (3)
    Lower: At 5:00 AM			Upper: At 11:00 PM (feeding time)

    
    Lower: the 37 different fans I can hear right now,
    		2 WPS, 1 PC, 1 VS2000, 2 LN03R, etc.
    Upper: Power failure in the machine room: everything winds down.
    

    LOWER: The sound of all the systems winding down during a power
           outtage.
    
    UPPER: The sound of INDEC Field Service collectively going 
           "Arrrggggghhh" in response to the lower sample....
    
    Edd

>    To give this note a bit of redeeming value, and since most of you
>    fellows (apologies to Richard, Paul, km�, and whoever else) are from

Having met both Paul and Karl I can safely say that they are indeed 
"fellows".  Uh, disregarding clothing of course.

Not to turn this into a garbage note, but I think the following Mirage
samples should be had immediately:

Studio:
LOWER:  klutz stepping on cord
UPPER: headphones crashing to the floor
COMMENT: How many times have you done this?

LOWER:  snare drum buzz
UPPER: sound of frustrated sound engineer throwing off snare strainer
COMMENT:  Snare drum invented by snot nosed troublemaker

LOWER:  power hit to reel-to-reel while rewinding at full speed
UPPER:  metal reel whizzing across the floor
COMMENT:  Sampler never in "ready" mode when this happens
                                  
LOWER:  flakey patch cord being wiggled at high volume
UPPER:  speaker with blown tweeter

LOWER:  Orchestra hit #1
UPPER:  Orchestra hit #2
COMMENT:  The world needs two more orchestra hit samples.

Nuke the Duke.

Todd.

    Lower: "bass player diving sideways" to catch beer bottle which has
    just vibrated off the top of an Ampeg SVT cab (not unusual) with
    accompanying "tripping over 10 different wires".

    Upper: "beer bottle going SMASH" right between bass players compressor
    and direct box with accompanying "bass player swearing".
    
    Lower: "ESQ-1 click track" bleeding into something because you left
    a switch in the wrong position.
    
    Upper: "ESQ-1 sequencer save" literally giving your roommate a heart
    attack when accidently played at 110 dbspl through the monitors.
    
    And I don't even have a sampler ! (yet)
    
    							-Jeff
    

    Upper				Lower
    Scream when I find out   		Scream when I find out my
    my AKAI S612 is now selling		Roland TR_626 is out of date
    for $250

    Batteries running low on 		Guitar run thru 3 distortion
    TR-626 and dying in mid-performance	boxes
    
    Argument between band members over	leaving my parametric EQ on
    Which key to play Louie louie	my "get the noise out of the
    					Rhodes" setting.
    
    Leaving the tape monitor button	the guitar sound when you break
    on while hitting record		the d string but have to finish
    					recording, so you replace it
    					with a g string and tune down
    
    yet another orchestra hit		yet even another orchestra hit

My wife discovered that a squeeze toy pretty neatly approximates that 
rap, record scratch sound that is so often used.  Somebody's gotta use
that as a sample in a rap parody one of these days ...



Steve