Conference hydra::dejavu

Re .0 (Cathy):

A rough-sounding story; I'll communicate some of this directly via E-mail.

However, a few general points:

    > ........................................... Earlier that day we had
    >been goofing off giving hugs/kisses to each other - I remembered this
    >and tried to concentrate on it in as much detail as possible!  All of
    >the sudden a dome of glass surrounded us!!  We could hear/smell nothing
    >outside of this dome!  I was still frightened and said "this is glass,
    >it can be broken!!"  He said "NO!  It can't!  You MUST trust in me!"
    >That was the last I remember before dozing off - peacefully!!
    
My general comments --

1) You are not alone in being protected .

2) You have within you the strength to help protect yourself and your
   loved ones.

More offline.

Steve Kallis, Jr.

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    re: .4 (::CCARLSON)
    
          Okay, you want calming?  Here it is...calm down, it's okay.
    (or it will/can be...)
     
          There are lots of notes in here referring to all different 
    kinds of dreams...how to select which type was *your* type may
    not be overwhelmingly apparent, but no doubt it was being heavily
    impacted by your conscious reality (feelings and thoughts about
    your ex-boyfriend.)  Understand that you have control (or at least
    potential control) over your dreams, as you already know, based
    on what you told us in .4.  So, if you really want a different or
    a particular outcome, you can so direct it.
          I feel that many of *your* demons are in your current, conscious
    reality, based on the fears you have established on the basis of your
    past, both alone and with your former boyfriend.  Many of these are
    based on things that happened, but many of them are also based on
    things that *could* have happened.  Imagination plays a major role. 
    Imagination can also be used to forge a different future/present.  So
    use imagination, via meditation and visualization, and "see" the 
    future/present that you want.  With as much detail as you can muster,
    "see" or sense (use smells, sounds, emotions, etc.) everything you'd like
    to have happening.  What can happen with this is that most of what you
    are currently holding onto can get replaced by newer, stronger and
    even positive images that *you* direct.  Also, there are many other
    ways that you can work to eliminate or at least reduce or release
    fear(s.)  You would be advised to look into the fears to understand
    what they are rooted in, and to then work with eliminating the root
    cause (e.g., fear of abandonment or loss, early betrayals, etc.)  There are
    at least a few competent therapists around who could assist you in
    this area.  Also, you can work on holding onto positive affirmations
    and positive imagery in your consciousness.  
        There are lots of things to do here.  But I strongly believe that
    the demons you face are far, far more real *INTERNALLY* to you than
    will ever need to be "external" to you.  Don't give up...hang in there!
    
    Frederick
    

    I know that some of these feelings must be coming from 'inside'.  I'm
    so afraid of the kinds of things 'Tim' has dealt with!!  ...and what
    he's capable of!!  He has tried to destroy my life before when I had
    given up on 'us' and I don't doubt for a minute that he would try again
    if he knew how happy I am being part of a family!
    
    I have faith in my family - this is what helps me.  Alone - I'm so
    petrified and this is what scares me!  What am I afraid of, what I
    don't know, the unexpected.  I really could care less what he's doing
    in life - what he's up to or ANYTHING!  I walked out years ago never to
    return, look back, or even wonder!  A person has told me to "cut all
    strings that may even remotely be connected".  I'm not sure how to do
    this as a matter of fact, I'm even afraid to meditate.  I feel like I
    have all this negetive energy bottled up inside me and don't know how
    to get rid of it.  A friend of mine is going to give me a 'seven-sided
    crystal' tomorrow in hopes to help protect us.  
    
    Thanks to all for the votes of confidence!!  REALLY, the confidence
    gets things going!!  So many thanks!!!!

    Cathy (that is your name, isn't it?),
    
    I hope you can stay calm.  Sometimes when we are under a lot of stress
    - and being a working mother certainly is enough by itself - we can get
    ourselves very worked up.  It is important to communicate your fears to
    your husband, to sort out the reality-based fears (that the old
    boyfriend might directly hurt or harass you, such as by phoning or
    watching your home), and the mind-fears of a paranormal nature.  If
    your fears are reality-based, then you need to consider whether there
    has been any actual threat in word or deed.  If so, then you and your
    husband can devise a strategy for dealing with it.  
    
    Probably your old boyfriend has moved on to new involvements.  Chances
    are he is not dwelling on memories of you.
    
    Have you been able to discuss this with your husband?  It sounds like
    you have not.  If you are afraid to tell him, then this is certainly a
    big part of the problem.  If you have not "exorcised" (that is to say,
    faced and coped with) the bad things in your past, they will come back
    to "haunt" (that is, upset and frighten) you.  If you do not trust your
    husband enough to tell him, I recommend you look at the reasons why.
    
    If your fears are all mind-based they will seem very real to you, like
    a psychosomatic problem is very real to the sufferer, but you can only
    deal with them by looking inside.  Crystals, amulets, candles, spells,
    incantations, and so forth do not really deal with the essential
    problem, which is your own inner conflicts.
    
    By the way, those close to us (your husband and child) readily pick up
    our upsets which are communicated in many ways.  I do not think that
    some malevalent spirit is bothering all of you, rather that your
    husband and child subliminally picked up your terror.  You can best
    protect your son by facing up to your own fears and dealing with them.
    
    Just this last week, I watched the video, Flatliners.  In this film,
    medical students practice dying and returning to life, to see what it
    is really like.  The surprise is that they bring their inner demons
    back with them.  The lustful man is cursed by women he deceived.  The
    guilty woman sees her dead father, who comitted suicide, and who will
    not rest.  Another man is verbally abused by a girl he verbally abused
    as children.  The ringleader is haunted by a boy he assaulted when they
    were children.  I am going to here give away the turning point of the
    movie, so apologies to those who haven't seen it yet; but I think it
    will be helpful to Cathy(?).  The students discover that the only way to
    exorcise these demons is by repentance.  
    
    I believe that repentance can change not only the present, but even the
    past.  Its power rings back in time.  Repentance occurs through many
    small moments of truth-seeking.  It is strengthened by prayer.  It
    requires actual change in our way of life.  When we seek the truth, our
    repentance is strengthened.  I suspect that you feel very guilty about
    this past involvement, perhaps humiliated and shameful.  If the person
    most hurt was yourself, then the repentance is for the self-harm.  You
    have taken good steps by committing yourself to the wellbeing of your
    family.  Perhaps you may pray for guidance in righting the wrongs of
    the past, perhaps a spiritual minister may help you.  Through the
    righting of old wrongs (such as making apologies where due - perhaps to 
    your parents?), your dedication to a wholesome life from now on,
    prayers for forgiveness, and giving charity, you can make a major
    adjustment to your present, future, and even your past.  This is an
    actual formula you can use (and it works):  a) charity, b) prayer, c)
    repentance.
    
    I wish you Godspeed in dealing with this problem.
    
    Laura   

    re: .3 (::CCARLSON)
    
          Well, acknowledging our mistakes goes a long way towards 
    personal freedom.  Moving on, looking forward, finding the positives
    are all *also* things to do towards that same goal.  Being done with
    the past may be a bit of a trap, however, if your negative ego is having
    anything to do with it ("It's okay now, you're done, don't mention it
    again," etc. when in fact you haven't really cleaned it up.)  It is
    far more important to be done with it emotionally than physically,
    although at least in this case it sounds as though distancing yourself
    physically is very prudent.  How to deal with the past emotionally
    is by forgiving that part of yourself.  This process is very important
    and deliberate.  Simply saying so isn't enough.  
         Forgiving oneself is not necessarily forgiving the what as much
    as it is the "why."  Forgiving oneself does not mean that it is okay
    for it to happen again and it also isn't necessary to forget what 
    happened.  Forgiving is a part of releasing.  Not forgiving often
    means that "punishment" will somehow have to be meted out instead.
         Emotions are all valid (well, most of them are...some, such as
    guilt, have no + value.)  It is okay to be afraid, it is okay to be angry,
    it is okay to be jealous...but while it is okay to encounter these
    emotions it is also important to release them, to move on, to let them
    "drift on by."  Otherwise, they hang on and on...manifesting in 
    recognizable or even bizarre ways...often putrifying into very 
    ugly and destructive reality.  
         It is perhaps here that you might be.  So, there are various
    steps to take to "straighten" it all back out.  Intention, core
    emotion, payoffs...are all part of the package of things to look at.
    You have already recognized a part of you that plays a role...your
    fear of loneliness.  While every human may feel all emotions, there
    are certain emotions that are more prominent or more pervasive for
    each of us than other emotions might be.  For someone else, anger may
    be more pervasive than fear of loneliness, e.g.  So, there is lots of
    work that you can do, even just around this one *little* issue.
    But understand something...there is *always* more and more work that
    can be done.  The more you do, however, the more the reality can
    shift in noticable and in desired ways.  Just because you don't see
    things happening, doesn't mean you aren't doing anything.  And just
    because some things do change, doesn't mean you should stop.
        All of what you described can be changed...and turned into a 
    positive future/present.  You don't need to be victimized by things
    "out of your control."  You absolutely play a part...the more you
    understand the role, the better (more positive, etc.) your performance.
    
    Frederick
    
       

    I've been keeping up with the replies on this so I could get all the
    suggestions and advice available.  When I wrote the first topic this
    morning, I was VERY scared and knew it would be long enough without
    even going into ALL the details.
    
    Anyway, YES, that relationship was terrible/tragic as far as all my
    friends, family and myself were concerned.  We had all gone through the
    mill and each time something more tragic happened, I still stayed.  I
    don't regret ANY of this because I've learned a tremendous amount from
    it and being the type of person that mostly has to 'learn the hard way'
    - this has had a big impact on me.  Towards the 'end', there wasn't
    'hatred', 'jealousness', or typical reasons for ending a relationship. 
    More that I grew VERY weary of trying to love or for that matter, just
    love myself.  I appologized to all I had hurt, did some serious
    regrouping, found myself (the parts of me I had let go of and even
    forgotton).  It's not that I was ever afraid of him charming me again
    or ANYTHING to that affect.  If I had the time to explain 9 years worth
    of the evilness, anger and hatred we HAD gone through maybe some of
    these responses would be different.  It was bizarre as we went through
    all those negative feelings DURING the relationship and not after the
    split.  He moves from place to place constantly and leaves a trail of
    destruction behind each and every time.  THIS pattern I've seen for
    years - I guess, subconsiously I've waited for that trail to come
    through my family way.  I almost feel as though he is the devil
    himself and HIS jealousy would want to destroy something this good.
    
    I was not stressed out to the point where I could have imagined any of
    this - believe me - I went through all the typical questions of doubt -
    AM I REALLY HEARING/SEEING ALL OF THIS?!  AM I SLEEPING AND JUST HAVING
    A NIGHTMARE.  THERE'S GOT TO BE A SIMPLE EXPLANATION OF THESE
    HAPPENINGS.  Things like this have not happened to me before and
    anything even remotely similair were the tragedies occuring during that
    relationship.  There were demonic occurances to the point of having the
    Christian charismatics over and performing their 'bindings of evil
    spirits' and suggesting what to 'get rid of that might have had
    'strings' attaching us'.  So you see, there IS a pattern to this.  I
    didn't just read notes and conjure up the idea.  
    
    I DO need to be more confident about the strength to fight this whether
    it IS coming from him or NOT!  If anything threatens my family - I will
    always dig up stregth and instinct to do exactly what I need to.  I
    guess that's what I was trying to say before, not just that for myself
    I wouldn't have the resources but maybe...less of a reason to call them
    up...  I don't know...  If thinking in terms of 'soul' - THAT's plenty
    of good reason!  In writing this reply I've realized plenty too to go
    home and 'work on'.  
    
    :*) - sincerely!!!

    
    I was just wondering after reading your story if you and/or your old
    boyfriend and/or your husband are now or have ever been involved with
    drugs.

    Drugs?!  NO!  There are too many OTHER interferences/obsticles in this
    world that we don't have a handle on yet alone something we CAN control
    and would choose not to!  I know, just asking...  I've done and do fine
    without them.  The only thing I used to take are aminos,
    fruit/vegetable proteins and bee pollen.  For bodybuilding and
    bulk/weight gain.  As far as 'he' was concerned - he could've been
    doing ANYTHING.  He is an alchoholic and has probably done drugs I was
    not even aware of.  He knew how I detested even the thought so probably
    hid (if he did do any) them for fear I'd 'waste' them on him.
    
    By the way, sleep was MUCH more peaceful last night.  Alot of you had
    sent me suggestions and one in particular was a breathing excercise
    (not meditation) and imagining 'goodness' on the inhale - 'dirt' on the
    exhale.  Along with surrounding myself and family in white light this
    was soooo cleansing.  I just wish/hope to get my husband involved. 
    He's the 'conservative accountant' who "does not believe in any of this
    rig-a-ma-ro".  His idea of relaxation technique involves fluffing his
    pillows, having the remote control in hand, a clear view of the
    television and with an end-result of mild, rythmatic snoring!  He does
    not 'poke' at thoughts of what I'm doing, as a matter of fact, he knows
    it works for me and encourages it.  I DID tell him of the incident the
    other night (a previous noter had asked).  He was 'concerned' but
    didn't know what to do/tell me.  He reassured me "things would work out
    because if anyone was 'playing' with the evilness of meditation, they'd
    get their own - threefold!  THAT much I do know!".  Besides, (according
    to my mother) my godfather and grandfather are my guardian angels and
    no there isn't any 'badness' that could get through them to me.  I
    thought about that too and came to the conclusion that the reassuring
    voices I had heard that night were most likely theirs.
    
    Off and meditating....
    Cathy
    
    PS - Thanks again for all the support and suggestions!!  GREATLY
    appreciated!!!!
    <:*)

    Hi.
    
    I'm sure you've heard this already from someone else off-line perhaps,
    but the glass dome you spoke of....I don't think it was bad as you
    imagined it to be.  When the voice told you not to break it, that was
    because the dome was for your protection perhaps?  That the ability for
    protecting yourself and your family is so strong that smells, etc
    cannot get through.  
    
    Life rarely dishes out what can't be handled.  Perhaps this part of the
    dream was reminding you of that.
    
    I don't know how to copy your original message into my reply so that I
    can comment further (I'm not a NOTES officianado sp?) but I wanted to
    make the above comment nonetheless.
    
    - Sharon
    

    I didn't ask to break the dome - rather asked 'the voice' for a dome of
    something other than glass so it COULDN'T be broken.  I was afraid it
    could be and was reassured/told to trust that it couldn't.  I trusted
    and it worked!
    
    I've learned a great deal about 'protections' and white lights since
    then and have been using them and they've worked very well.
    
    =:*)
    Cathy

Well, Cathy, for what its worth after reading
your replies I'm confident that you have the
strength and balance to handle this.

And hang in there because its just some rapids
in the river of life.

As I typed this in I remembered a friend of
mine (Jewish and victim of two major heart
attacks) who says: "Eventually, you find out that
everything happens for the best". I find that
very deep and quite surprising for someone with 
the racial and personal history he has.

Give us some feedback after a while, mm?

John D.

     
    Hi Cathy,
    
    I hope that evrything will eventually turn out good for you and your
    family you are are going through a very rough time and from these 
    experiences I hope the very best in you will triumph over the
    discouragement and desperation that you are now feeling. One
    suggestion I can give you is PRAY and by that I mean hard and constant,
    talk to a priest or a pastor, go to mass as often as you can and if you
    are christian or catholic ask your friends and relatives to pray for
    you and your family be as POSITIVE as you can only then can you repel
    all these evil thoughts and events. Give us an update and hope you and
    your family can overcome all of these.
    
    Love and prayer
    Josephine