Conference hydra::dejavu

    "Thin intrapersonally"?  Is this a new way to diet? :-)
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

I wonder how many of the control group had any kind of personalitly
disorder. This report doesn't say. I also wonder how many of the control
group were gay or bisexual. Finding 2 bisexuals out of a sample of 12
doesn't strike me as statistically significant. In fact, out of a sample of
only 36 I wonder how you can do any worthwhile statistical analysis.

Being an unemployed artist with an unsettled marriage would be enough to
give ME nightmares! This finding doesn't surprise me any.

Don.

    I find myself also wondering about what his definition of "nightmare"
    is.  Does he consider it only a dream that frightens, or do dreams
    that bring up other disturbing emotions (grief, anger, anxiety,
    etc.) also qualify?
    
    I tend to be a good "recaller" and generally have about 1 dream
    a month that leaves a lingering distrubing emotion.  (And yes, for
    those of you who are physiologically interested, they tend to occur
    during the menses.)  I rarely have any dreams any more that simply
    frighten.  Does this mean I have no nightmares?  Those of you who
    are more knowledgable about textbook psychology can perhaps enlighten
    me on this point.
    
    I do tend to find that the dreams that leave me with disturbing
    emotional aftertastes are good signals that a previously hidden
    conflict is surfacing.  
    
    Example:  one night I dreamt of being caught in a tidal wave.  I
    was in a house and watched in fascination as the windows became 
    covered with water, felt the house lift up and begin floating, 
    then found myself in the water.  My main feeling was a sort of 
    heightened aliveness, the sort of thing risk-takers say they feel 
    when combatting a potentially life-threatening situation in their 
    favorite hobby (racing, sky-diving, rock-climbing, etc.)
    
    It was easy to trace where this had come from.  I'd read a story 
    of just such a survivor of a tidal wave, dreamt the same things she 
    described, including the floating house.  But why did my inner self 
    pick up on that story so strongly?
    
    During morning coffee I broke down as Dave casually asked me my
    plans for that day.  It felt at the time like I had impossible 
    tasks and I was feeling overwhelmed.  I sobbed for about a half an 
    hour, then dried out and went to work, feeling much better able to 
    cope with the tasks and my reactions to them.  It was on the way to 
    work that the connection between the dream and my feelings that had 
    surfaced became clear.
    
    Because of the threatening scenes in the dream, some might call
    that a nightmare.  But my reaction was not fright--does that mean
    that it was therefore not one?  (And would the subsequent acknowledgement
    and resolution of the conflict indicate a "strongly formed ego"
    to personality researchers, or would having the dream at all mean
    that I am supposed to have ego formation problems?)
    
    Interesting questions . . .
    
    Marcia

I recently made a goal of stopping my nightmares which had become a part
of my life.  Right about that time, all hell broke loose in my awakened
life.  I experienced fear and anxiety like never before...but my dreams
were quite calm.  I'm wondering if there's a connection.  Could I have
summoned up my fears to deal with face to face in my awake state in an
effort to get rid of them once and for all?

Jerri

    I have had that type of thing happen to me, too.  Not every nightmare
    I've ever had was of the type that this happened--some were related
    to horrific books I read, or bad digestion.  But the themes that
    have recurred over the years have generally been powerful "hidden
    agendas".  Those agendas, when I've worked on them consciously,
    have then proceeded to disappear from the dreams.
    
    Gee, and I thought I was the only one who had an inverse relationship
    between the state of my outer life and the state of the inner!
    
    Marcia

    Re: .9
    
    Hmm.  Perhaps you might be better off consciously visualising that
    the lovely visions of your dreams become part of your waking reality?
    
    This is said half in jest.  But the other half of the story, that
    I have found is true for me, is that the inverse relationship of
    dreams to waking life is a protective mechanism for me.  I read
    a lovely story once of an orphaned child from one of the Asian
    countries, who was brought to America by a foster parent.  In the
    interview with the foster mother, she expressed great happiness
    because her new child was beginning to get angry about things. 
    She believed this was a sign of health, and a gauge of the safety
    he now felt in his new home.  When your life is in real danger,
    as his had been, it isn't good for physical survival to allow your
    emotions full play.
    
    Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to try to get rid of your good dreams
    in an effort to make your outside reality better.  When I've had
    problems dealing with difficult life circumstances, those circum-
    stances resolved themselves in their own time and their own way,
    without any regard for my wishes.  During the time that my father
    was dying, for instance, I also had wonderful dreams on all sorts
    of subjects.  I don't really think that stopping those dreams would
    have reversed his illness and brought him back to life; they _did_
    provide me with a valuable safety valve that buoyed me through the
    months of consciously felt fear, guilt and depression.  I kind of
    think that our minds, resilient things that they are, seek a balance
    to keep us mostly sane.  These compensation mechanisms, like having
    wonderful dreams during bad times, may just keep you going.
    
    I don't know what to tell you on how to get your nice dreams back.
    I never tried to get rid of a pattern like that, so I feel helpless
    to think how to help you reconstruct it again.  Sorry I'm not of
    any more help; perhaps there are some places you could seek some?
    I remember once taking symptom suppressants for a physical illness
    that finally exploded when it took over, along with sensitivity
    reactions to the medications I'd been trying to keep it down with.
    When that happened I admitted defeat, also admitted that I'd loused
    up and needed a little expert help to put me back together again.
    My doctor and I did that just fine.
    
    Marcia

    Re: .9
    
    This is just a suggestion...and maybe just A STEP in the right
    direction.  It won't solve things permanently because I think
    only you can do that with each new day.  But a step at a time
    is okay, I've learned.  Five steps of happiness and peace are
    better than trying to figure out how to run from point "A" to
    point "B".
    
    So, you might want to try this...it works very well for me.
    Tell yourself (several times if possible) that things are going
    to start going better whether you believe they will or not.
    You can change the wording to focus on a particular goal, but
    the important part is "whether I believe it will or not."
    
    When I have been fighting the same battle for a lengthy period
    of time, sometimes it's hard to believe that things could ever
    change...so saying positive thoughts is useless, because I think
    they are useless.  The above method has helped me get around
    that.  Hope it helps you too.

    Jerri