Conference misery::feline_v1

    Don't let anyone make you feel that loving a cat is less important
    than anyother being. This rotten world needs more people like you.
    We all share your grief. And I hope you find in time that the joy
    in a pet is having known them.
    Sandy,Chessie,Pussyfoot,Tinkerbell and Nicki
    

    Lor,
    
    I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your baby, SOS. The loss
    of a beloved pet is always painful. He was surely not "just a cat",
    but a living, loving creature with whom you shared a special 
    relationship. I have had animals (cats and dogs) since I was a little
    girl. Each and every one has a special place in my heart - I will
    never forget any of these babies. They cannot be with us forever.
    We all know that, rationally. But somehow that does not diminish
    the grief we feel at their passing.  I hope that SOS will not be
    your last kitty. In time you may be ready for another furface.
    Don't deny yourself the fun and love of another kitty. You gave SOS
    a great life and there was nothing you could have done to prevent
    what happened. 
    
    Kris W. 
    
    
     
   

    Lor, people can be so cruel!  That's why I love animals so much
    - they give love and friendship unconditionally - and are always
    there when we need them.
    
    1989 was a rough year for my husband and I.  We lost two of our
    feline friends; one to a heart disease and the other to a hit and
    run driver.  What got us through was, believe it or not, adding
    another cat!  That and having the remaining ones still with us.
    While I'll admit that 5 is a bit ludirous by most people's standards
    (but not by those in this conference; many far outnumber my brood!),
    getting another cat helped ease the pain of our loss.  No cat will
    ever relace SOS... but can bond with you in a wonderful way, and
    perhaps very different from that of SOS.
            
    We understand.  Time will help.  That old cliche is very true.
    
    --Roberta
    

    I know exactly what you're going through.  I cremated & kept Kitty's
    ashes.  I keep them on my dresser, where he used to sleep on warm
    nights.  I feel that he is still w/ us.  I believe in Kitty heaven.
    I also had a second cat (& still have) that I feel helps me through
    the rough times.  It's so painful having animals when you lose them
    but they bring so much love into our lives- that somehow it's worth
    the loss that we suffer!
    
    Don't even listen to those friends of yours that say that it's only
    a cat.  They should own & love one before making those comments.  I
    have convinced my husband of that w/ our 2 cats, now he defends people
    who make uncalled for comments.
                                   

    
    I read your note with tears in my eyes 'cuz it's exactly how I'd feel
    if I lost my babys.....AND YES, it's ok to mourn the loss of SOS - don't
    let anyone tell you different.
    
    Our deepest sympathies are with you - take care and think of the good
    times you and SOS shared while he was with you.
    
    Barbara, Ebony, and Ivory
                      

     It's definately ok to be upset about it. I hate people when they say it's
    only a cat.  They've obviously never had catlove if they can say that!
    I lost 3 last year to FELV.  It was a most terrible time watching for
    a period of 9 months your 3 best friends die painfully. I have 7 cats
    right now, 2 of the original brood, and 5 new family members I acquired
    over a period of time since my friends died.  It's not that another cat
    "replaces" the first, it's just that each new personality adds another
    dimension and so much love into my life. They really do help you to
    go on.  You'd be denying yourself all that catlove if you didn't get
    another kitty, and denying another needy cat of a great home.  Of
    course you'll never forget SOS, you wouldn't want to.  And it will
    hurt, mine still hurt, but the 7 loves I have now help me every day.
    It's so great to come home and have a herd of 7 stampede to the door 
    all trying to get patted at once.  But I still miss the silent shadow
    of Ruby in the window as I pull up to the house, and I miss Tabby
    running full stride across the field with his latest mouse, and I still
    miss Noella trying to "help" me pick out my outfit for the party,
    and all the wonderful things that  made them such great loves.  But
    I couldn't -not- have cats in the house for a minute.  That would be like
    living in a mourge!!
    
    
                                  Condolances,
                                            Denise and the gang of 7

    	Sorry to hear of your loss. I lost Lucky 12/22. Did you say
    SOS was your first and maybe your last?
    
    	Please let me tell you how I feel when I loose one of mine. I
    said when my dog Oscar died several years ago that I would never
    set myself up for that kind of pain again. I would not hear of having
    another pet again. Then along came Hamden. Hamden was an adult cat,
    a cat that had lost his home, and was 20+ pounds of 'I love people'
    cat. Years went by, Hamden became a big part of my life, and then
    a couple of years ago, a few days before Christmas cancer and old
    age caught up with Hamden. Once again out of pain and bitterness
    over my loss I said NO MORE PETS!.
    
    	Maybe it had something to do with Christmas, I don't know, but
    I began to realize that every time in my life that I loved or was
    loved that my life was enriched, and I was left with warm and wonderful
    feelings and memories. So I accepted Lucky into my house.
    It took some time, but after awhile Lucky and I established that
    special bond. No, Lucky did not take Hamdens place. No pet can ever
    take the place of another. I will never find a replacement for Lucky,
    but very soon I will have another special cat, not to fill the empty
    cat space but create and fill a new cat space in my life.
    
    	Lucky was not the first, and he won't be the last pet that will
    share some time with me.
    
    	In time the sharp edges of the loss of SOS will not hurt so
    much, try to remember that there are alot of wonderful furfaces
    out there that need you. And after knowing and loving SOS you are
    a better cat person.
    
    Kirk

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss - my thoughts and prayers are
    with you.
    
    Reading about SOS reminded me of myself when I lost my wonderful
    companion of 18 years - Ting-Ling.  Ours, at the time, was a one
    cat home, and I didn't have another cat to hold during those first
    miserable weeks of out and out mourning.  My mom took a wonderful
    photo of Ting and had it blown up in Sepia and framed for me and
    when friends saw this I too heard comments of the same kind. 
    
    Two weeks later Pippin came into my life - a healing kitty, I guess
    - and then came Gino two months later and 4 years later came Stitch.
     Each one of them is full of love - affectionate in their own and
    different ways - each one has his/her different tricks and funny
    quirks and I know that had I not had Ting open the wonderful door
    of cats to me I never would have had these babies.  
    
    It's good to cry and it's good to talk about it with people who
    understand and those who don't - well - they don't matter.  I hope
    you will find another special kitten to love and maybe another one
    after that.  It sounds like you have a lot of love to give and there
    are so many out there who need so desperately just what you can
    give them.
    
    Hang in there
    
    Giudi (Pippin, Gino & Stitch Too)

    We have all been through what you are going through now, and we
    know how much it hurts.  You can't deny yourself the chance to grieve.
    People who haven't shared the love of a cat don't always understand
    what an important part of your life that they become.  This file
    is full of people who understand what you are going through.  
    
    The best advice I can offer is to not make any decisions about your
    pet owning future right now.  That can wait.  Allow yourself the
    chance to grieve, and then later on, the great memories of SOS will
    bring you much happiness.  Maybe some day, another cat will come
    into your life and bring lots of love with it.
    
    Jo

    Lor,
    
         My heartfelt sympathies.  When the time is right, you'll know and
    be able to have another kitty.  The new addition is *never* a
    replacement, but another kitty to love and enjoy.
    
    					- Andrea

C.S. Lewis, the writer, once wrote about cats' souls ......
I can't remember the exact quote but he said something to the effect that 
animals who have been greatly loved have souls which blend with those of their 
owners and become part of their owners and when the human dies both souls leave 
together .... it is this thought which keeps me sane in the sad times........

Avril

    It's tough to lose a loved one.  Part of life they say.  Remember the
    memmories - they will help you get over SOS's passing on.
    
    Before my husband and I got our first baby, he never liked cats much. 
    Now, they are inseperable.  People who never own animals don't
    understand they are part of the family.
    
    In sympathy,
    
    Anna/Zildjian/Spunks

    Cats and dogs and any other pet we might have are DEFINITELY part of
    the family.  When I finally had to *let Keisha go*, I never realized
    how terrible I was going to feel.  It was the same as losing one of my
    daughters.  When Thunder was diagnosed as possibly having cancer, my
    heart hit the floor.  I had only had Thunder 3 months so was totally
    surprised by my reaction.  
    
    My pets are *my babies*, *my girls*.  I know that *someday* I will have
    to let them go, so while they are part of my family, I love them as
    much as I possibly can.   
    
    You have every right to grieve.  I know I did when I lost Keisha. I
    also know that when I got Storm, it wasn't to *replace* Keisha.  It was
    to fill the void.
    
    Sandi mom to THUNDER, LIGHTNING, STORM & DEJAVU too
    
    

    My sympathies too. I read through the last 13 notes and felt the
    tears wanting to come with some of the responses.  It is a difficult
    time.  My Nickolas' picture is still in my cube along with my
    Oliver's.  I could not remove it and still can't after 5 years.
     As much as I love Oliver, he did not replace my Nick.  How fortunate
    these babies are to have such love. Only special people can love
    them this way and I'm sure there are some that would wonder why I would
    keep a picture of a dead cat in my cube.  But that's their problem
    and I feel sorry for them that they cannot understand this love.
     You'll see a special someone for you to love again one day.  
    
    Hang in there.
    
    Flo & Oliver

    Lor,
    
    I am so sorry about your precious SOS.  I truly sympathize and cried
    when I read your note.
    
    I lost my beautiful Aime on Halloween and the pain is still there
    even though it lessens each day.  I never thought it would but slowly
    it has become easier as each day passes.
    
    I, too, think of my cat often and many times expect to see her in
    one of her favorite spots.
    
    One thing that helped me tremendously get through the first month
    which is the absolute worst was talking to a therapist.
    
    I used one through my health maintenance organization and he was
    wonderful.  He treated my loss with no difference as to whether
    it was a human or pet.
    
    Note 3182 lists the name of a bereavement counselor that you may
    find comfort in contacting.
    
    SOS was so lucky to have had you in his life.  A sudden death is
    so hard to understand and accept.  My Aime died suddenly as well
    and I, like you, can only hope there was no suffering.
    
    My thoughts are with you and SOS
    
    Nancy, Snuggles, and Orphan Annie
    

    
    
    	Catnippy and I are sad about SOS. You never do forget
    	even one of them 'cause they are all so special. They
    	each give you something unique and it becomes a part of
    	you and you never lose it. The pain will get less over
    	time and there will be times they will come back for
    	a visit. The way the sun shines on a spot on a dresser;
    	you can almost see them curled up sleeping there. The
    	snow falling outside; You see the little guy pouncing
    	across the belly deep stuff heading for the door to be
    	let in.  You never replace even one. You always have them
    	and they can make you smile or bring a tear. Let time do
    	her work and maybe, if you are lucky enough, another little
    	empty spot you didn't even realize you had will be filled
    	by one of these wonderful creatures who always seem to find
    	you when you need them.
    
    						kim and the nipper
  

    Lor,
    
    We, too, are so sorry to hear about SOS.  There is always
    something differently special about your first pet--not "better"
    special, just "different" special.  Perhaps it's that they are
    the ones that show us the joy and love that animals can bring
    to our lives and how much fuller our lives become with their
    presence.
    
    As others have said, don't decide about future pets yet--give yourself
    as much time as you need to grieve SOS.  And, talk about it as often
    as you need to--perhaps here in FELINE.  All of us understand the
    pain--most of us have felt it at some time.
    
    Take care of yourself....
    
    With our love and prayers,
    
    Barbara (Melody, Missy and Brittany)

    You cry, you remember, and you go on.  Don't let those
    who do not understand bother you.  Those of us who do
    understand, know and grieve along with you.
    
    
    
    
    Lynne (Casey, B.K., Rusty & Pepper)

    
    We here in Atlanta are also so sad to hear that S.O.S. has departed
    this world.  Most of my thoughts have been relayed my other noters:
    
    Allow yourself time to grieve; no need to make decisions yet.  I do
    hope you decide to love a furry one again.  My Cissy was my only cat 
    for many years and I did not think I could make it without her when she
    died just short of her ninth birthday.  (And like Flo, I still have
    Cissy's picture in my picture collage hanging in my cube at work...) 
    The greatest thing she taught me was my own capacity for love.  There
    was a time I doubted whether I could love any fellow creature.
    
    Of course, I did not "replace" her, but rather I share my life with
    good ol' boy Stanley and Stella the h*llcat.  I love them dearly--as
    much as I could love human children.  They *are* my children, plain and
    simple.  For those people who can not understand your depth and
    intensity of love for your cat, well--that is *their* problem, not
    yours.
                                                                  
    Take care and please keep in touch.  Of all the folks in this world, we
    certainly can relate...
    
    Diane, Stella & Stanley
                                                                  

    	We share your pain and anguish.  I hope you will rethink the
   no-replacement position.  As has been stated before, there are other
    deserving felines out there that need a responsible and loving human
    in their lives, such as yourself.
    
    	The pain is hard to bear sometimes (I lost my Ruffles on Xmas
    day), but it dimishes with time.  Remember all the good times fondly.
    Our deepest sympathy,
    
    Bob, Smoke, Nightmare, Sneakers & Nova.
    
    

    I also am in tears reading these notes.  I can never help but remember
    my first cat, Kathryn, who died 11 years ago.  The first one is
    special somehow, but the rest are also special - in a different way.
    Bumpy-tail will always be my "healing kitty" because I got her
    2 days after Kathryn's death.  I couldn't stand the empty house.
    The pain was still there, but having Bumpy around - a cat who needed
    me, soft and warm to pet and hold, eased the pain somewhat and 
    kept me directing my love outward rather than locking it up inside.
    
    When, and if, to get another cat is a very personal thing.  Some folks
    need to wait 6 months, others, like me, need to have another kitty
    right away to keep us sane.  You'll know when the time is right -
    and I'm sure that time will come - and which cat or cats (in my case)
    is/are right for you.
    
    The memory of SOS will help other kitties as his name will be added
    to the Silver Lining Memorial List for this quarter's gift.  I hope
    that helps a bit.
     Sincerely,
      Nancy DC