Conference misery::feline_v1

2318.0. "Alien Pets!!" by NICLUS::MTAG () Wed Mar 22 1989 15:05

    A friend of mine sent this mail to me the other day.  I've removed all
    the fowarding headers.  It's pretty amusing!
    
    Mary
    
    ***********************************************************************
 
    Many pets are really aliens from outer Space.
 
    That's the stunning claim of experts who believe the extraterrestrials 
    watch over us like guardian angels.
 
    Author Brad Steiger says it is quite conceivable that invisible beings 
    of a higher intelligence may enter the bodies of common pets.
 
    "It's my belief that one out of five dogs and cats are space pets -- 
    descendants of original alien creatures that came to Earth 50,000 years 
    ago."
 
    "Millions of Americans own space pets and don't even know it, but you 
    can tell by looking for special characteristics.  Space pets look and 
    act very similar to ordinary dogs and cats, but have mental powers far 
    greater than ordinary animals."
 
    Amazingly, Steiger's belief in space pets is shared by Dr. Rajid Patel, 
    of the University of Calcutta.
     
    "Nearly 30 years of research has conclusively proven to me that a very 
    large percentage of house pets around the world are inhabited by the 
    spirits of ancient, alien craatures," he said.
 
    "These animals accompanied their masters, spiritual beings who came from
    the Pleiades to bring enlightenment to people of the Earth." 
     
    "They took on human bodies and joined the human race so that they could 
    provide guidance to mankind.  And their pets were also given the form of 
    cats and dogs so they could help as well."
     
    Steiger points out that many dogs and cats inexplicably rise to the 
    occasion when danger strikes.
 
    "In a sense these animals become our guardian angels for a time," he 
    added.
 
    With the help of computers and thousands of interviews with pet owners, 
    he's been able to develop a profile of space pets.
     
    As a rule, they have charismatic personalities, extremely protective
    natures, very compelling eyes, and healing powers.  "Since they also
    have psychic powers, they get along better with humans because they can
    bond very closely with their masters," said Steiger. 
 
    Space pets can also interfere with the dreams of their owners, added 
    Steiger author of many occult books, including Star People (Berkley).
 
    "That's a sure sign that the cat or dog is descended from space aliens.  
    If someone dreams about his pet in a remote and alien landscape, it's 
    very likely he's dreaming about his pet's home planet."
     
    "Or the pet can appear in his master's dream as an alien animal, or as a 
    humanoid with the same name as the pet."
 
    Space pets can even warn owners of danger.
 
    "Many lives have been saved by alien pets waking their masters in the 
    night to warn them of a gas leak or fire," said Steiger.
     
    "Space pets also exhibit startling healing powers.  Owners experienceing 
    pain and discomfort from numerous complaints have documented their pets' 
    remarkable ability to help their illnesses."
 
    In 1983 a space pet -- who developed a particularly close bond with 
    three children -- was held responsible for their abduction in South 
    Africa.
     
    Awestruck authorities believe it had them aboard a UFO when, for some 
    unknown reason, it had to return to the planet from which it originally 
    came.
 
    "It is only a theory, but we believe the dog became so attached to the 
    children tha when the time came to return to his own place in space he 
    could not bear to be parted from them," said Police Superintendent Martin 
    Keen in Durban.
 
    The parents had already sensed the dog possessed supernatural faculties, 
    but had done nothing to discourage the relationship between the animal 
    and their three children because of the close bond that already existed 
    between them.
 
    "The dog had very compelling eyes and was extremely protective -- and we 
    have since learned from experts that these are the very characteristics
    of animals who are not of this Earth,"  said Mrs. Esther Woelkelder at
    her sprawling ranch near Durban. 
 
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    Since Mary didn't write .0, I can only respond....
    
    
    
              pppphhhhttttt.......
    
    Aja did not come from another planet. She came from Putnam, CT.
    (Have I just contradicted myself?) She's not an alien, she's a
    twit. 
    
    I pay no attention to the fact that when the Pleides cross the zenith
    she gets excited and listens intently to *something*. No attention
    at all. None. Not a bit...
    
    Edd

    I guess I finally know what Elmo's "problem" is. 
    
    And I thought I was joking when I have said "This cat is definitely
    from a different planet."
    
    
    	-Nancy

    Terrific.
    
    So now I'm owned by three alien entities:
      - Maggie who can heal migraine headaches
      - Cardigan with the compelling eyes
      - Milo who relates stories of the building of the pyramids and
        the feline invention of pizza
    
    I'll have to go home and tell Rick.  He'll be relieved to know that
    his contention that Milo in Teddy [our deceased canine son] reincarnate
    is supported somewhat by this body of scientific research.
    
    Yes, these scientific findings point to Teddy having been an alien
    as well.  You see, he took his responsibilities very seriously
    protecting me both from myself and from strangers, had eyes you
    could drown in, and could cure depression.
    
    One can only surmise that this highly protective and nurturing alien
    conciousness transmigrated -- although three years elapsed between
    Teddy's death and Milo's birth -- I guess it was hovering in some
    sort of limbo awaiting the proper vessel.

    The study doesn't mention the _people_ that live with these aliens.
    I mean, should I be concerned that four in a row have moved in with
    me, or what?

    Wow.
    
      Ann

    Hmmm, this must be why Dream is constantly telling
    me, "Mom, I'm not really a cat.  I don't belong with
    those other cats.  I should be sleeping with you in 
    your nice warm bed at night, not in the basement with 
    those *cats*.  I won't make you sneeze, honest."  
    
    Well, she sure *looks* like an alien...  ;-) ;-)
    
    Mary-Michael

    re .1
      Well, I guess SOME folks would say that Putnam Ct. is "alien" at
    least, if not totally "outer space"....
    
      However, I think you missed an important point in the basenote....
    Aja MAY in fact not be from an alien planet, but what about Aja's 
    Great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great
    grandmother?????? How do you know SHE wasn't driving a little spaceship
    when she arrived here on the "big blue ball"????
    
    JM

    RE: .0
    I can't be sure about dogs, every cat I have known was the 1 in
    5. I don't think it's 1 in 5, it's all cats.
    
    Kirk
    

    
    T.K. has to be one of these cats!!  He is very provocative, quite
    brave, and very intelligent.  
    
    Karen

    think ill have to agree with the cat from putnam.
    IT doesnt come from outer space and it doesnt have a fantastic
    i.q. its just plain dumb....
    mind you,maybe i go the only simple alien that came down...
    that would explain a lot.....!!!!
    
    phil

     re .8
    
     Ahhhhh....but did you ever stop to think that your cat's putting you
    on??? He may know YOUR language, but do you know HIS???  (and "meow" is
    NO indication that you know it....)
    
      .....By the way....is the "Queen's English" that you use a "new-wave"
    version??? Reason I ask is that I've never seen >English< with no
    caps before......  ;=)
    JM                    

    re: .7
    
    Karen, I tried to tell you that sometime ago after I saw TK do the
    water trick...
      
    That cat's from the planet Zolton, I'm sure of it...
    
    Edd

    
    Re: Edd
    
    Well, if Mork from Ork is for real, then T.K. is from Ork, probably
    is Morks pet.  He certainly knows how to drink water using his paw!
    
    Karen