Conference misery::feline_v1

    But *what* was the thump???????
    
    Edd

    *Owning* a cat makes a fool of the owner.
    
    
    kbs
    

    RE: Edd
    
    I don't know....  but it wasn't storming outside.  Probably, it
    was something on the other side of the common wall.
                                                                
    Karen

    
    Maybe it was a ghost/spirit.  They like to make noises to let you
    know they are around and can be quite playful.  This would explain
    why your cat acts strangely and seems to think someone is there
    - There is, its just not alive!  Even scarier than a burglar.
    
    Try not to think about this next time you hear a noise in the middle
    of the night.
    
    Rick  8^)
    

    Cats often try to alert their owners to the presence of spirits
    by...
    
                 (a)  Getting FAT
                 (b)  Sticking a paw in a glass of water
    
    If your cats display any of these symptoms, SELL THE HOUSE!! It's
    infested with spirits!!
    
    Edd

    re: .5
            Good Grief! Is THAT what Sheba has been trying to tell me
            for the last 18 years? Oh, well ....since we all seem to
            be happy living there, I guess we'll assume the spirits
            are friendly (besides, no one else would buy it anyway!).
    
            Linda ..and critters (2 Siamese ..four mini horses ..one
                  full size horse, 2 dogs, 17 bantams, 4 bunnies.....

    
    $ SET YELL ON
    
    	EDD!!!!!!!!!!
    
    $ SET YELL OFF
    
    	Just a word to those that didn't understand that.  Edd has met
    	my cats and T.K. drinks water with his paw and Bandit is quite
    	fat.  He's teasing!
    
    	Karen

    We have *CHARLEY*.  DejaVu and Lightning let me know when *Charles*
    is around.  Many nights they will *stare* up the hall-way or try
    to get me to follow them.  When I do follow them, there isn't
    anything there that I can *see*.
    
    Of course I *know* *Charley* exists.  Too many strange things have
    happened for me not to believe.
    
    Karen,  I hope your *friend* is as nice as *Charley*.
    
    Sandi (Lightning, DejaVu & Thunder's mom)
    
    

>    	Anybody else have any similar stories about how their cat
>    	caused them to make a fool of themselves??    


This has *got* to be my cue.....

My cats are specialists at this. I have a few problems anyway because they are
regretably remarkably stupid. Anyway, they are all quite young and I've only
just started letting them wander as they like, up till now I've only let them
out when I'm around, and even then I try to keep them in my garden. This hasn't
always been that successful since they have an overwhelming desire to make
next door's dog a nervous wreck. They do this by hiding in his kennel and
waiting for him to come in, or by sabotaging his food. It's funny, Retrievers
seem to get very upset when they find a half eaten mouse in their food and
they absolutely go to pieces when they find a cat sat in their milk... I really
should try to stay on the point...

So, I woke up the other morning to find the house devoid of cats, I knew they
were missing because I woke up naturally and found nothing in my ears that
wasn't supposed to be there. I wandered downstairs, a little worried because
they know I'm a little delicate in the mornings and like nothing more than to
leap out at me and then watch me remove plaster from the walls as I climb
them. I searched the house and other than a dismantled toilet roll and a half
chewed sausage behind the VCR there was no sign of them. I wandered out into the
garden to see if they'd got out. By now I was more than a little worried.

I found Oddjob sitting on top of the fence irritating the dog and taking swipes
at anybody who walked past, as soon as he saw me he assumed it was breakfast
time, I don't know what he'd been walking in but it took me ages to get all
of it out of my ears ! I gently placed him in the house from about 10 foot away
and was lucky enough to see yet another rubber plant die as OJ skidded down the
hallway and flattened it. Not that he was worried, he just assumed it was yet
another example of gratuitous violence by a rubber plant and trashed the leaves
and took the roots into the lounge.

Anyway, I then got back to the serious task of looking for Thomson. He's been
in a strange mood lately and has been flirting with the rabbit up the road.
I know, I know, but you try explaining the difference and problems involved
in a relationship like that to a mentally sub-normal cat.

Eventually I found him. See we are getting to the point ! He was under a lorry
about 200 yards up the road. Thomson being a cat he was sat in the exact 
centre of the lorry with no intention what so ever of co-operating. I tried 
reaching him from either side of the lorry but he deliberately misunderstood
my purpose and attacked my fingers. It was quite a large lorry, so it became
apparant that I was going to have to get right under there to get him. So
that's what I did. And here we get to the embarassing bit ! I crawled around 
under the lorry to get him with him walking away from me a just a little
faster rate then I could crawl. So there I was flinging myself about
like a drunken idiot cursing and swearing the stoopid animal and promising
to stamp on his toy mouse if he didn't come out. Eventually I caught him..
I crawled out from under the lorry and was giving him a stiff talking to 
whilst poking him in each eye. I suddenly became aware that I had attracted
an audience. Not too bad you think, however I am not a pretty sight in
the morning. Especially I'm not a pretty sight after a long nights drinking
when I'm stood there in a dressing gown and naff all else. Not a very big
dressing gown either. I have now resorted to sneaking out of the house very
quietly and driving away as quickly as possible every morning because
the neighbours keep pointint and me and making sympathetic noises, whilst
hiding behind each other and sending their kids inside. I've got to do
some gardening at the weekend, and sure as fate I'll have an audience
waiting to see what the weirdo from No 186 is gonna do next !!

Embarrased of CSS

    RE: .9
    
    
    WELCOME BACK MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and Oddjob, Thomson and Marvin)
    
    
    Haven't heard from you in a while; glad to hear that they are still
    keeping you and the tatty rabbit on your toes!
                                                   
    
    
    >    Anybody else have any similar stories about how their cat
    >    caused them to make a fool of themselves??
    
    
    Well, my Bully has always found pleasure in these little tricks...
    He is quite proud of the fact that he knows how to open doors and
    is never happier to show off his talent than when I have a house
    full of guests and I just happen to be "tending to things" in the
    bathroom. If he's in an especially good mood, he will drag one of
    my bras through the living room to present to me as a peace offering
    at that mortifying moment when he unveils me in all my glory!
    
    He is also quite fond of the new Jeep, and will spend as much time
    in there as he can. About a month ago, I was unloading groceries
    from the Jeep and I guess somehow he got in without my noticing.
    About an hour later I was thoroughly engrossed in some horrifying
    Steven King novel, when I realized that I had left my purse in the
    car. Now I am one of the biggest horror fans in the world, but I
    also have the reputation for being VERY easily spooked. We live
    in a quiet wooded area, and by now it was pitch black outside.
    Needless to say, I DID NOT relish the idea of having to go outside.
    Well, I screwed up all the courage I could possibly muster and set
    off down the stairs in total darkness (the porch light also just
    happened to be busted). I know this sounds crazy, but Bully really,
    dearly loves to scare the **** out of me, so all the while I chanted
    to the darkness "Bully PLEASE don't scare me. Bully please don't
    scare me. I know you are out here somewhere - PLEASE don't scare
    me." Well, I made it to the Jeep. No problem. Whew. I almost totally
    relaxed. I figured that he must be out "mugging a rabbit" somewhere,
    or just causing general mischief someplace else. So, I calmly opened
    the door, reached in for my purse, and - !BANG! - out zooms Bully
    from the backseat. He just about ran right up my face! So, I did
    what I normally do after a long hard day of caffiene abuse -
    I screamed...and screamed, and screamed. Next thing I know, the
    landlord, his wife and my boyfriend all come running figuring that
    I'd been attacked or something. It didn't take long to convince
    them that it was just Bully up to his tricks again.
    
    I was SOOOOOOO embarrassed. They still think I am *quite* weird.
    
    It turned out to be a double whammy too. In his haste to figure
    his way out, he had turned on all the accessories - the radio was
    turned up full blast, the wipers, turn signal and the highbeams
    were in the *on* position. So the next morning, I unwittingly
    staggered to the Jeep, turned the key and - !blammo! 
    
    Bully strikes again.
                  
    
    
    You gotta love 'em.
    
    
    /Denise
    

    Do you know what it feels like to spend $900 on a new plastering
    job in your home and then hear "meow meow" from behind the wall?
                        
    One of my cats, Molly the Magnificant Mouser, made me look like
    a loony cat owner to a local plasterer/contractor.  I had hired
    a local company to come in and plaster my upstairs hallway.  I had
    it all planned that I would lock the cats in the spare bedroom with
    litter and food and be all set.  Well, the plasterer called me at
    7:30 a.m. to tell me his men were on the way.  They arrived within
    minutes.  And, quite frankly, I was feeling all of my 34 years that
    day because I could not catch the buggers.  I thought everyone must
    have scurried outside, so I left for work.  But I had this nervous
    feeling all day long because I did not SEE any of them go outside.
                        
    When I arrived home that night, Seamus and Boomer greated me right
    away.  I figured Molly was still out frightening the field mouse
    population so I did a few chores, calling her periodically.  But
    when she did not come to me, I started to get scared.  And as I
    called and called, it turned to panic.  I ran all over the house
    and yard calling her.  I finally went up to the hallway and started
    calling her.  And then I heard the muffled "mew" from inside the
    wall.  I pulled up part of the floor and called her name.  After
    awhile, I saw the whiskers peeping through the opening.  
    That was when I ripped a 10"x10" hole
    in my new wall.  And then, SHE WOULDN'T COME OUT!      
                             
    Here I am on my stomach on the hallway floor, shaking a box of Friskies
    in one hand, shaking a catnip mouse in the other hand while doing
    my mouse imitation "Squeak Squeak Squeak".  Afterwards I thought
    'Heck, I wouldn't come out either with a nut like that calling me'.
                             
    I finally left her and she came down of her own accord in about
    15 minutes.  I could hear her eating placidly in the kitchen.  Another
    day, another adventure.
                        
    Of course, I had to call the plasterer and tell him the cat was
    in the wall.  He never believed me.  He honestly could not believe
    that one of his crew could plaster a cat in a wall, and hear nothing.
    But that's Molly -- very quiet, except at meal time.  However, he did
    send someone to fix the hole I had made.
                        
    Anne
    
                        

    re: 11
    
    Anne, I've heard tell of stories like that, but I've never
    actually heard or read one first hand!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I was laughing so hard, the person in the next cube came
    over to see why I was laughing!!
    
    E.T.

    We must have a spirit too!  Koko likes to sit by the door that leads
    to the garage and act crazy.  She pounds on the door, sits and stares
    at it, tries to look under it.  At first Dave and I would open the
    door to see if a kitty sneaked in when the garage was open ( this
    has been a problem before) but we never find anything.  Koko just
    sticks her head out - looks around and leaves.  We have caught on
    to her though - after about the fifth time of going out to the garage,
    crawling on our hands and knees to look under the car and calling
    "Here kitty" - boy did we feel kind of silly - us humans are so smart!

    
    
    I live at the top of a stairwell and my cats have just started
    a new game.  I will come in the front door and both cats will
    shoot past me, run down the stairs and hide.  While I call and
    call for them to come up (I mean, it is dinner time) they
    refuse to come out.  So I march down the stairs to bodily drag
    them up....  When I reach their place of hiding - they bolt
    past me again, up the stairs, in the door, and stop at the bowl
    looking like I was late getting the dinner out for them.  
    
    My neighbors think I'm NUTS!
    
    Katie
    

    My sister was driving along the street one day wondering why so
    many people were waving to her, this was a strange thing indeed.
    she lives in a very large town and didn't think all these people
    had any way of knowing her. Then a Cop ran out into the street,
    stoped her and said "do you always drive around with a big gray
    cat on the roof of your car?" To her horror her cat had jumped 
    on top of her car as she left home. The worst part was that he 
    enjoyed the ride so much that he made a regular practice of 
    hitching rides on cars as they pulled out of her driveway.
    
    K.D.

    Well, Norman finally did it to me yesterday. He usually doen't drag
    me into his foolish antics, but yesterday.... There was a big labrador
    in our yard playing with our dog when I went out to get the mail.
    As usual, Norman escaped when I opened the door. He ran out into
    the middle of the yard thinking "I'm free, I'm free" He was so proud
    of himself for escaping that he didn't notice the dogs right away--when
    he did it was a riot! Up the closest tree he could find--a mid-sized
    oak. 
    
    Having been raised indoors, Norman doesn't really know about these
    things. He climbed as high as he could go and then just sat there
    and hollered at me. 
    
    Having been in bed sick all day, I wasn't in much shape to help
    him out. I had my winter coat on over my nightgown and slippers
    on my feet. 
    
    I stood at the bottom of the tree and tried to talk Norman into
    coming down, but he wouldn't budge. Well, I live out in the middle
    of nowhere so I figured the chance of anyone coming by was very
    slim, so up I went. And up the street came the mailman. And the
    schoolbus. Filled with the under 12 age brackets in town. I was
    so embarrassed.
              
    Then, I finally reached Norman by sitting on a branch and edging
    out to him. So what did he do? He sat on my lap and purrrred. 
    The dog was gone--so I dropped him about 6 feet to the ground and
    crawled down myself and ran into the house.
    
    I think this is the excuse that I've been looking for - a reason
    to move.
    
    Michelle and Norman