Conference misery::feline_v1

    
    There never is a Guarantee.
    
    Have you tried a tiny kitten?  Some females will turn momma cat
    with little kittens - that way you can avoid declawing.
    
    Maybe try two kittens - an older cat may not be as playful as
    a kitten, and if you get a kitten, that new kitten will want
    a playmate - the older cat will enjoy watching rather than
    partcipating a lot.  I am only going by my 9 year old - she
    likes to watch the little kids, but doesn't mix it up with
    them too often - she does more complaining and bathing rather
    than playing.  I do think, in spite of herself, that she is
    glad they are around, as long as it's on her terms!
    
    Good Luck,
    
    E.T.
    
    

    Actually, some breeders (and families with kittens) will let you
    have a kitten or cat on a trial basis, for about a week or so to
    see how it goes.  Then if your cat doesn't get along they'll take
    it back.  Both Tristan and Zowie (our second dog) were aquired 
    this way.  Of course, the only way we could have handled giving
    them back would have been if there was World War III.  They grow
    on you real fast!
    
    If you explain your situation, and your cat's personality, they
    may go for it.  I don't know if this would work with your cat, or
    if people would like it, but the family that we got Tenzing from
    let us bring Aisha (our dog) with us to pick her out.  That at 
    least told us that it wasn't hate at first sight.
    
    Good luck, whatever you decide,    
    Karen, Tristan and Tenzing.

    I'd like to see how aja would react to a kitten. She's really not
    too fond of anything that moves under it's own power; barely
    tolerating me...
    
    I think she needs a pet. Senor mouse is losing his charm...
    
    Edd

    There are even some very nice people out there who really like their
    pets but must give them up for one reason or another.  When I adopted
    Charm, she came with a two week return guarantee.  Of course, by
    the time the two weeks were up, we had all fallen in love with her....
    A reputable breeder also will always give you an option to return a pet
    that doesn't get along with your cat.  
    
    Best of luck to you in your search!!!
    
    Mary-Michael, Niniane and Charm
    
    P.S. RE:-1  Well, Edd, can you really blame Senor Mouse?  If I'd
                been tossed in beer and thrown around the house, *I'd*
                be losing my charm, too!!! (hee-hee-hee)

    I agree with (.1) statement about getting two kittens. If I didn't
    take a brother along for Sheba, she'd be playing by herself most
    of the time.  I've had them for two weeks exactly, and Sunshine
    is just now starting to come around, but not without a little fight.
    Sheba and Samson run around like little maniacs, while Sunshine
    just sits back and watches.  I saw she was starting to take an interest
    just this morning when she actually went looking for them.
    
    They are a bit more work for you, but two kittens is definitely
    the way to go!
    
    Good luck!
    
    diane
    

    Oh EDDDDD, is the Inn NOT Full - do we hear you saying that
    you need another baby?????
    
    Mary, oh Mary, where are you???????  Edd is calling you !!!!!!
    
    E.T.

    
    
    	Edd DOES want another cat!!  He was telling me so when we all
    went out for chinese food a while back!!!  He just needs a little
    pushing.....
    
    	Mary!!  Got any of those kittens left??
    
    	Well Edd, if not, I'm sure SOMEBODY has a kitten (or two....).
    
    	:=)  Karen

    Of course *Edd* wants another, it's aja who's likely to have a
    problem.
    
    Since I got her at 4 weeks she has only rarely missed the litter
    box (usually my fault. Needed changing.) I don't want her showing
    her displeasure by breaking training...
    
    Serious question: Have older 'dominant' cats ever been known
    to lethally attack new arrivals?
    
    Edd

    Nope - they love babies - just think of all the fun you will have
    with a baby.  Aja will love a new baby or two!  
    
    Go Mary Go - we've got a live one!!!!!
    
    

    Edd, repeat this phrase:
    
    The Inn is NOT full...The Inn is NOT full...The Inn is NOT full...
    
    Ok, Mary, he's all yours!!!!!!!!
    
    Mary-Michael-whose-thinking-of-another-kitten-in-time-for-the-holidays

        Hey Ed!  just the other day Aja sent a mail message to Tabbatha
    saying that she would like to have a little friend to keep her company
    during the day while you're not home.  She's getting tired to Senor
    mouse!  (besides, you beer glass isn't around for her to throw it
    into).
    
    Ok, mary...go get him!
    
    
    Holly
    
    (I hope this one gets in.  NOTES has been acting weird!)
    

    Tough crowd we got in here...
    
    Listen folks, here's da poop... Edd wouldn't mind another cat at
    all. The Inn doesn't even look like it's open, much less full.
    But, ya gotta understand aja. She's a very high strung cat. Just
    the sight of a car in my driveway sends her scurrying behind the
    bed.
    
    I've had her since she was 4 weeks old. Eyedropper feedings, the
    whole 9 yards. She's never known another cat, and what experiences
    she's had (like when they come strolling through my yard) she's
    been *extremely* hostile.
    
    Despite this apprently inherent bitchiness, she knows and appears
    to actually like *me*. Nobody else. Just me. We've "lived together"
    (mostly alone) for five years, and frankly, I don't wanna get her
    peeved. It sounds silly, but I feel a certain 'allegiance' to 
    keeping her happy.
    
    As a result of all this, I have real reservations regarding her
    acceptance of another cat, even a kitten. It *appears* she wouldn't
    be too happy, and I don't want to subject a kitten to being used
    as a substitute for Senor Mouse. (Can you imagine having a kitten
    tossed in your beer???)
    
    Does anybody understand what I'm trying to say?
    
    Edd 

    Yes Edd - I understand - You love and care about your cat's feelings.
    You are a thoughtful person - how about trying an adoption on a
    trial basis - taking one or two kittens with the stipulation 
    that if World War III breaks out in your home that you will
    have to return them.  I'd have a hard time doing that, but
    it could maybe work - guess ya won't know unless you try.
    I would also suggest taking the kits on maybe a Thursday
    evening - maybe taking a vacation day (if possible) on
    Friday and then you would be home 3 consecutive days with
    the crew to keep harmony.  Maybe Thanksgiving weekend if
    you aren't traveling to visit relatives or something.
    Generally when I bring in a new baby, I try and do it
    Friday night in order to be home at least 2 days.
    
    Aja sounds a little (a lot) territorial with adult cats on the
    outside - would she be so with tiny babies right where she could
    see & touch them?  Another trick is to hold the baby right up to
    her nose (the tail end of the baby) and let her sniff for as long
    as she wants to - her mouth will be open and she will probably
    growl, but at least she will have had to opportunity to get
    close and not face-to-face.  Let her do that fequently - it
    works with my guys.  The baby doesn't even know what's happening
    because they can't see the big kid.  sorry to run on...
    
    E.T.

    re: .14
    
    That's the way I have met several people, and it works great...
    
    until they turn around to see what's going on.
    
    Gary

    Yes, Edd, I understand.  I'm just kidding you a bit ;-) ;-).
    
    You'd hate to do your Aja wrong, same as we all feel about
    our own kitties.  My kids are so devoted to me that I feel guilty
    if I have a week that I'm busy several evenings.  I get those "Mother
    where have you been??" looks when I walk in the door, even with
    two.  A lot of times you can get kittens on a trial basis, with the 
    option to return them if all hell stays broken loose or Aja refuses
    to ever speak to you again.
    
    Of course, you never know, Aja might just appreciate the company.
    After all, Senor Mouse is probably running out of things to
    say.....;-)  
    
    Mary-Michael
    
    

    Yep, Mary-Michael's got it... aja is #1. If she wants to share that
    position, it's OK with me, but if she doesn't, well, she wins and
    gets to keep it all to herself...
    
    Edd

         It would have been nice if I had had this kind of help from
    you guys/sorry-feliners when I was looking for one for my wife!!
                            ;-)  ;-)
    
        Ed, I had the same reservations about bringing a kitten in the
    house given that Lucky chases all cats out of our yard but a man
    can only hold out so long when the wife is pleading!!
        The reality now that we have a little grey tigger female
    kitten is as bad as I feared.  Lucky Growls and hisses at the
    sight of new arrival and it hasn't let up in 3 days.  He ran
    at her in the front room and knocked her off her feet and we
    had to grab her quick.  Little Mis 'no-name' on the other hand
    doesn't like dogs and growls/hisses/spits everytime King walks
    thru the room.  King doesn't even look her way!!  We are not a
    happy household right now but I am going to continue on the faith
    that all you feliners are correct and Lucky will eventually accept
    Miss 'no-name'.  I would say that you know your situation and Aja
    best and will make the best decision for you both.  
            Good Luck!
                Ken

    Do the other noters think that the mothering 'instinct' is inherent
    to the female cat or is brought about by hormonal changes during
    pregnancy?
    
    ...or probably both?
    
    Edd
                                                           

    I think generally it's instinct, but some females can't be 
    bothered like my Sasha - she raised KoKo and now she thinks
    she's done doin' it.  My males are better mothers than most
    of my females.  If you only have one female and there is
    a tiny kit around, she may just feel like she should take
    over the care & training.  
    
    I think you're right - probably both - I guess pregnancy
    gets it started also - I wouldn't know - My crew has 
    never produced a litter, so I can't speak on that subject. !!
    
    E.T.

    Re: .20  That's ok, Elaine, I think you've more than earned your
             stripes without the Grandma badge!!!!!!
    
    Edd, I guess it depends on the kitten.  The house Charm came from
    was home to five cats.  Two of the five had come in as kittens.
    Charm was a very good foster mother while they were small, however, as
    soon as they were 1-2 years old, Charm decided they were old enough
    to be on their own, and she kicked them out!!!  When I adopted her,
    her owners thought she would be best as an only cat.  But she enjoys
    Niniane's company and seems truely happy with us.  There are a couple
    of variables:  Charm is no longer an outdoor kitty, and Charm and
    Niniane are both Siamese.  I don't know if being the same breed
    makes a difference, but they seem to do fine.
    
    I'm sure Aja will trust your judgement.
    
    Mary-Michael

    Edd,
    
    Lightning was four years old (all four an only kitty) when we brought
    two beautiful fluffy white ABANDONED kittys home.  She took to both
    of them right away.  She mothered the one we kept and trained her
    properly.  She also took over DejaVu's training when we brought
    her home one year later.  
    
    DejaVu has taken over the training of Thunder but I have noticed
    Lightning grooming and playing with Thunder.
    
    Lightning also was/is/always will be #1 in our household.  We don't
    love the others any less, just differently.
    
    Come on, Edd.  Join the *more than one* family.  We all know you
    won't regret it.
    
    Sandi (Lightning, DejaVu & Thunder's mom) (and Star's grandmom)