Conference misery::feline_v1

    A few years back, when my old lady kitty Missy was in her last summer,
    I had an old style "hen party" and invited all my old(?) girlfriends
    over for a party.  Some of us hadn't seen eachother for ten years or
    so, so I wanted everything to go well.  Near the end of the party
    we were all sitting in the livingroom.  The conversation was lagging
    a bit when my sweet old lady Missy slowly strutted herself across
    the living room floor.  "She's twenty years old" I bragged.  There
    were many oooo's and aaaah's and several people remarked how lush
    her coat was and how well groomed she was.  Missy proceded thru
    the room and over to the corner, where she turned, looked me in
    the eye, squatted and peed.  I was so embarrassed I nearly died.
    The room fell silent, but then somebody started to giggle, then
    another and another.  Finally everybody in the room was nearly helpless
    with laughter.  As for Missy, at first she looked startled, then
    as she ran out of the room, she looked fully disgusted with all
    of us.  I don't expect I'll ever have a party (or a kitty for that
    matter) like that one.
    
    Marion

    Re: .1
    
    I'm just waiting until this happens to me, it's only a matter of
    time.
    
    My babies are usually pretty quiet at the vet's, but when I was
    there recently there were huge howls of outrage coming from the
    examining room, really _impressive_ howls of indignation, and then
    a nice lady, blushing beet red, came out with an incensed puss in
    a carrying case -- "He was only examining her," she said.
     

    . . . that I asked my date if he wanted to come in for a cup of
    coffee.  Missy (the marvel cat), who had never met my date, strolls
    into the living room with a pair of my panties in her mouth, jumps
    up into his lap, and drops them there.
    
    Marion

    RE:  .4
    
    
    Well, she had good taste 'cause this is the same guy I'm marrying
    on March 19, 1988.
    
    Marion

    RE: 5
    
    CONGRATULATIONS......
    
    Sandi
    

    Took Marco Polo a Manx to the vet.(Alas Marco is gone now)
    
    Came to pick him and asked the vet what happened to his arm-
    10 stiches and lost of iodine over it.
    
    Vet said all I did was try to take Marco's temperature!
    

About 2 months after David and I got married we invited David's parents up to
see our apartment and visit for the weekend. It was their first visit and I was
putting out a nice breakfast for them. We had just picked up our siamese,
Caspar, the thursday before. I put the cantaloupe on the table and went back
into the kitchen to get something else, and when I got back to the table, there
was Caspar on the table, eating David's mother's piece of Cantaloupe! Of
course it couldnt be my piece, or David's piece, but had to be his mother's! I
don't remember how I explained it to her, but I was embarrassed!.

To this day Caspar's favourite food in the whole world is cantaloupe.
Occasionally he will condescend to nibble on a piece of apple or pear, but in
general it's either dry cat food or cantaloupe. 

    When Honey was a baby, he always waiting until the last possible
    second to use his box.  There was always a second of panic, a mad
    dash, and then a sigh of relief.  Well, one day, I had a guest over
    who just insisted on holding Honey in his lap, even though Honey
    started to squirm to get away.  I warned the guy that he might want
    to let the kitten go, but just as he said "Nah, he's fine, he likes
    me!", Honey peed all over his lap.  I laughed hysterically, and
    that was the last I saw of the guy.  Very embarrasing...
    
    And then there was the time I placed an emergency call to my vet
    on a Sunday morning because one of 6-month-old Honey's teeth had
    fallen out....boy, was I embarrased!
    
    Re .3:
    
    Congratulations, Marion!!  I'll have to teach Honey that one!!
    
    Mary

    Once we had friends to visit.  We were all sitting in the living
    room, chatting.  Pandora strolled into the room, and climbed onto
    Dave.  He made a fuss of her.  She climbed onto the arm of his chair.
    She turned round, lifted her tail - and sprayed him!  As we all
    sat there, completely speechless, she calmly jumped down and walked
    out of the room.
    
    I have never been so embarrassed in my life.  Fortunately, Dave
    saw the funny side; he has a Labrador which cocked its leg on his
    father in law.

    
    Unfortunatly this happened to my mom.....
    
    One day my mom was in the basement discussing a problem with the
    plummer.  They happened to be standing around Nippa's box.  Now
    you can guess what happened......she walked up nonchalontly (SP?)
    and did the stinkiest poop (according to my mom), covered it up
    and walked away.  It was like they were not even there.  Well, 
    my mom was dying!  but the plummer  just laughed and told her
    that he had 3 cats at home.
    
    Nippa also has a habit of leaping up on people, so guyes 
    watch out for her or she'll turn you into a saprano! ;-)
    

    Snoopy (now gone since last March) was quite a clown when he wanted
    to be.  One night we had a party to which we invited the church
    choir, organist, and rector.  One of the hors d'oeuvres I served
    was a dish of small meatballs to dip in a dish of homemade sauce.
    Well, the rector (who did not like cats) set his glass of Scotch
    down beside the dish of meatballs to get his wife another glass
    of punch.  Snoopy appeared from nowhere, jumped onto the table by
    the meatballs, scooped a meatball out of the dish, and dropped it
    in the rector's glass of Scotch!  Then, tried to retrieve the meatball!
    
    Ande

    
    
    	Years ago the Pastor of the Church I wasn't attend often enough
    stopped by to pay and visit and ask why I wasn't at Church - well
    the man was very prim/proper and my Popeye (who NEVER) jumps onto
    the diningroom table - stretches out and starts in on a major bath
    time.  The Pastor looked at me and said "if you don't care if he's
    on your table - then I don't), but the look on his face said -
    How disgusting!  Needless to say - when I offer his a cup of coffee
    he refused....
    

    I have had tiga for 15 years, and to this day, she bolts around
    the house like a ball of fire. When i first got married, my 
    husband kept saying "i don't think that cat likes me!". I said
    yo're imagining things!, but sometimes he would wake up with
    claw marks all over his body, and i'd say, "don't look at me!"
                   Well, I stopped argueing the fact whether she 
    liked him or not when one day, she did a flying walenda routine
    from the tall dresser bureau directly onto his - - - - !!!
    Any men out there can understand what I mean when I say he
    wasn't to happy!, scared the dickens out of me when I woke up
    to the sound of frankie vallie in the bedroom!

    .15 reminded me of this true story....
    
    Ever try sleeping when all you can hear is a drippy faucet.  Well,
    this particular gentleman couldn't.  He decided to get up in the
    middle of the night to fix the drip.  He found it necessary to lie
    on his back underneath the sink, halfway in (and halfway out) of
    the cabinet.  However, he did not find it necessary to put on any
    clothing.  Well, along comes little kitty and sees an interesting
    scene.  We all know cats cannot resist things that dangle, so the
    little kitty watches for a moment or two, then strolls up to the
    "point of interest" and SWAT!!  The guy shrieked out, and smashed
    his head on the drain pipe and was knocked unconcious.  The wife,
    who came running in, sees what happened and begins to laugh
    hysterically.  She calls the paramedics, still not quite able to
    control her laughter; they arrive and cart the guy off to the hospital
    where the entire staff had a good laugh over that one.
    
    Moral of the story...never trust a smiling cat...
    
    Mary  

    
    
    Mary,
    
    That story made my morning!!!!! :-)
    
    Carole
    

    it made my morining too!  I can just picture the look on the paramedic's
    face when you told them what happened!!  :-)
                        
                        
    Holly               
                        

    
    	This happened to a friend of mine.  She was meeting her
    husband-to-be's parents for the first time, and she invited them
    over for dinner.  They were all sitting in the living room talking
    and her cat walked in.  The cat noticed something sparkling on the
    mother-in-laws hand, so the cat walked over, and with one swoop,
    ripped the opal right out of her ring!  
    
    What a first impression!

    The day after Ken and my wedding we had some friends and family
    over to our house while we opened wedding gifts.  One of my bridesmaids
    that had been a pain-in-the-you-know-what during the whole planning
    phase of the wedding showed up for the little get together.  She
    hadn't been there two minutes when Monroe came out of nowhere walked
    up to her, did an about face and sprayed all over her!  And this
    in front of my inlaws and parents, neither of which like cats very
    much!
    
    Jo