| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name
 | Date | Lines | 
|---|
| 326.1 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Tue Feb 28 1995 07:35 | 9 | 
|  |     I generly do not lift weights. I spend 30 min on the stair master, 30
    minutes on the bike, 15 min on the rowing machine. I rarely start off
    doing the same thing twice. I will even alternate the actual rowing
    with the sit-row. 
    
    I have been to a specialist concerning my Epstein Barr and he thinks
    its from too much exersizing that I got sick in the first place. I
    still think its that little fat gene that is over riding everything I
    do.
 | 
| 326.2 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Tue Feb 28 1995 08:09 | 6 | 
|  |     fyi... the average individual requires a minimum of 28 minutes of
    sustained (at an aerobic level) exercise to get any benefit.
    
    your aerobic level may vary...
    
    Chip
 | 
| 326.4 |  | GAVEL::JANDROW | brain cramp | Tue Feb 28 1995 09:38 | 20 | 
|  |     
    
    
    i have also heard some blurb somewhere that one no longer HAS to
    exercise 'intensely' for 30 minutes at a time for a workout to
    work...that it is fine to work out for shorter amounts of time, dome
    more frequently...
    
    i realize this isn't sounding very coherant...i know what i am trying
    to say but it isn't coming out right...like instead of doing a 40
    minute aerobic exercise a day, try doing 10 minute 'mini' workouts, 4
    times a day...it might even fit better into ones schedule, as sometimes
    it is difficult to block out an hour for a workout, but most people can
    find 10 minutes to themselves off and on thruout the day...
    
    don't remember where i heard that, but i know i heard it from a couple
    of different sources as well...
    
    
    
 | 
| 326.5 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Tue Feb 28 1995 09:44 | 4 | 
|  |     .78
    The only problem I have with mini-work-outs is time. It is easier for
    me to set aside an hour ever other day than 10 min here and there. My
    trainer says taht at least 20 min before the fat starts to burn.
 | 
| 326.7 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Tue Feb 28 1995 10:42 | 7 | 
|  |     .77 i know that... besides customizing a program for "training"
        is not definitive. i could argue your details, e.g. 60-85%
        MHR will not improve your aerobic or anaerobic thresholds.
    
        I agree with you, i was trying to keep it fairly simple...
    
        Chip
 | 
| 326.8 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Tue Feb 28 1995 13:56 | 11 | 
|  |     i think someone might've pointed out a flaw in the 10 min. workout
    theory... it takes a few minutes to get your heart rate up to a point
    where benefits are gotten. that leaves you with maybe a 4-6 minute
    workout. i'd really like to see the details of that study.
    
    of course, we can argue the ineffectiveness and potential digression
    of (almost immediately) bring your heart rate up...
    
    hey, this is fun!
    
    Chip
 | 
| 326.9 |  | GAVEL::JANDROW | brain cramp | Tue Feb 28 1995 14:23 | 6 | 
|  |     
    
    if i can remember where i heard it (and from whom), i'll let you know
    chip...
    
    
 | 
| 326.11 |  | CSC32::J_OPPELT | Whatever happened to ADDATA? | Wed Mar 01 1995 15:00 | 11 | 
|  |     	re: 10-minute workout effectiveness
    
    	One factor that hasn't been mentioned here is that your heart
    	rate remains elevated for a period of time after you stop
    	working.
    
    	So while it's trus that a portion of the workout is lost due
    	to getting the heart rate elevated, the person who loses three
    	times that amount of time because he does three short workouts
    	also benefits from three times the post-workout heart rate
    	elevation.
 | 
| 326.12 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 07:03 | 6 | 
|  |     yes, your heart rate does remain elevated after exercise, but depending
    on your level of fitness, your recovery time will vary. if it remains
    at a level that is beneficial for any period of time after you
    terminate exercising you've got problems...
    
    Chip 
 | 
| 326.13 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 07:59 | 3 | 
|  |     When I was half way through my 30 minute step master my heart rate was
    at 178, I would go directly to the bike with no slow down and half way
    through that it was still 178.
 | 
| 326.14 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 08:58 | 9 | 
|  |     again, what's directly to the to the bike? again, an individual's
    physical condition(ing) plays heavily into that. 
    
    also, how long had you pegged the 178HR? another significant variable.
    
    my HR wil return to normal within a couple minutes. resting HR is in
    the mid-40's.
    
    Chip
 | 
| 326.15 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 09:09 | 3 | 
|  |     .111
    I`ve never pegged the 178 but thats what it is. I would like it down
    near 145-150.
 | 
| 326.16 |  | NASAU::GUILLERMO | But the world still goes round and round | Thu Mar 02 1995 11:11 | 6 | 
|  | My wife has recently become a -- devotee -- (in my step-son's and my parlance
'a freak') of Susan Powter. She read 'Stop the Insanity' in about a week and
came home with Susan's new cookbook last night. Just about every other word out
of her mouth now when referencing food is 'low fat'.
She recommends it highly.
 | 
| 326.17 |  | NASAU::GUILLERMO | But the world still goes round and round | Thu Mar 02 1995 11:15 | 3 | 
|  | P.S. She ripped me when I mentioned 'change in metabolism' last night, for yea,
Susan Sayeth that there be only Low-Fat Diet and Aerobic activity (becoming
'oxygen-focused' or something to that effect) which doth control Thy Weight.
 | 
| 326.18 |  | NOTIME::SACKS | Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085 | Thu Mar 02 1995 11:20 | 1 | 
|  | Has your wife adopted a Powter hair style yet?
 | 
| 326.19 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 11:58 | 8 | 
|  |     simply put, the simple fact of the matter is most people can generally
    eat what they please (within reason) as long as there is a healthy
    lifestyle attached. counting calories or eliminating fat is simply
    not a healthy practice by itself.
    
    didn't SP just file for bankruptcy?
    
    Chip 
 | 
| 326.20 | Size-able minorities | PATE::CLAPP |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 12:13 | 18 | 
|  |     re: .110 by MAIL2::CRANE
    
    178?  That's very high.... Unless you're aged 20 or under, probably
    too high.
    
    To get the highest rate you should go figure
    		
    	85% * (220 - your age)
    
    anything above this is not recommended for weight loss.
    (some would consider it dangerous, unless you're a conditioned athlete)
    
    a more realistic target number is
    
    	60% * (220 - age) 
    
    al
    
 | 
| 326.21 |  | NASAU::GUILLERMO | But the world still goes round and round | Thu Mar 02 1995 12:32 | 15 | 
|  | re:.117
No. Although when she was younger she had a short natural. She's got the long
braids now.
I'm also thankful she doesn't have too far to go to reach her 'target weight'.
;-)
Me on the other hand...well let's say a desk job and Digitals' 'privatization'
of the wellness center (after moving me to where one wasn't -- then building one
which went on the free market for twice what you'd pay a Dedham Racquetime which
HAS saunas fer chrissakes...) hasn't agreed with me.
I'm at the point where I'm ready to find time around midnight or so for a true
workout. I'm _not_ a morning person.
 | 
| 326.22 |  | NASAU::GUILLERMO | But the world still goes round and round | Thu Mar 02 1995 12:40 | 9 | 
|  | re:.120
> didn't SP just file for bankruptcy?
According to an interview I hoid yesterday, she's in court (insn't everybody?)
fighting a business partner or some such for a fairer percentage of the profits
her org. took in last year.
And _that_ _was__healthy_.
 | 
| 326.23 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 13:26 | 7 | 
|  |     178 isn't too high to "peg out at" = max HR... it very much depends
    what shape you're in. again, the formula is a guideline.
    
    at 43 my max HR is 198... if i trained using the guideline i'd be way
    off the scale as far as effectiveness of effort and benefit.
    
     Chip 
 | 
| 326.24 | Size-able minorities | PATE::CLAPP |  | Thu Mar 02 1995 14:17 | 9 | 
|  |     
    reason I mentioned 178 being too high was that he was not successful
    loosing weight when working out.  It could be cause and effect.
    Also he mentioned 178 not as maximum, but the sustained rate during
    excercise.  While the formula is a generalization it is a good 
    guideline to begin with.  Anything above the anerobic threshold is
    not effective for loosing weight, particularly body fat.
     
     
 | 
| 326.25 |  | CSOA1::LEECH | beware of flaming gerbil projectiles | Thu Mar 02 1995 15:40 | 14 | 
|  |     re:  a few back
    
    Normal resting HR (non-sleeping) is closer to 70 than the 40's (I
    believe the average heart rate is 72 or somesuch).  Not that the
    average HR applies to everyone, just that mid 40's seems closer to dead
    than the national average (though sleeping HR drops a bit from the average
    above).  8^)
    
    Mine averages 75...while at the dentist where it's taken with official
    type certified equipment.  8^)  (it goes down a bit after I leave for
    some reason  8^) )
    
    
    -steve
 | 
| 326.26 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Fri Mar 03 1995 10:24 | 12 | 
|  |     resting HR at 40's is not dead or close to it. world class runners,
    swimmers and cyclists (many) have a resting heart  rate lower than
    that. it's very common among aerobically fit  individuals.
    let me define resting HR... it is the rate at which your heart
    is beating while asleep/upon  awakening (prior to even getting
    out of bed). it is not the rate when  awake and doing regular
    activity...
    
    regarding burning fat... if you exercise at your aerobic threshold
    (even with occasional ventures into the anaerobic world) for  the
    same  period of  time that you would at 80% of your max HR you'll still
    burn more fat. the ratio of effectivity is different. that's all.
 | 
| 326.27 | It really does work! | ICS::EWING |  | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:05 | 10 | 
|  |     
    I started working out a couple of months ago at a local Health Club.
    It's done wonders for me physically, psychologically, and mentally.
    I do the Nordic Track for thirty minutes, then work out on the Bike
    for another five or ten minutes and then about 30 more minutes
    on the Nautilus (abdomen and chest). As soon as the weather breaks,
    one mile jog. My routine has helped me to deal with my stress level.
    
                                                                        
    And its working!!!!
 | 
| 326.28 |  | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:13 | 15 | 
|  |     
    
    	I try to run everyday, but it usually ends up being 3-4 times a
    week due to different interruptions in my schedule. I'll run between 3
    and 6 miles (depending on how much time I have) at a time. My times in
    the few races I've run have been about 6:30's or so per mile....down
    from low 7's in my early days of running (I just started last year!). I
    can get under 6mins a mile if I really push (but that hurts too much!).
    :*) I also do situps, pushups, and stretches every night.
    
    	I'm no charles atlas (I'm skinny as a rail actually), but I'm in
    ok shape and feel good about myself. I smoked for 13 years, so I'm in
    better shape today than I ever have been. feels good.....
    
    jim
 | 
| 326.29 |  | BIGQ::SILVA | Squirrels R Me | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:17 | 3 | 
|  | 
	Jim, I'll attest to the fact you are lookin good! :-)
 | 
| 326.30 |  | POLAR::RICHARDSON | Alleged Degirdification | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:19 | 1 | 
|  |     8-o
 | 
| 326.31 |  | GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER | NRA member in good standing | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:19 | 7 | 
|  |     
    
    yer lucky day, Jim........
    
    
    
    
 | 
| 326.32 |  | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:20 | 6 | 
|  |     
    
    	GLENN! stop that! :*)
    
    
    
 | 
| 326.33 | working out | PATE::CLAPP |  | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:26 | 7 | 
|  |             <<< Note 326.28 by SUBPAC::SADIN "One if by LAN, two if by C"
    Jim,  how long ago did you quit smoking.  I quit about 15 months ago
    and the best I can do is in a 5k do about 8 min/mile.  I seem to have
    endurance (have run 3 half marathons) but just no speed.  Was thinking
    my lungs aren't cleared yet.
    al
    
 | 
| 326.34 |  | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:32 | 8 | 
|  |     
    
    	I quit smoking almost 2yrs ago. It's taken a loooooong time for me
    to really clean the lungs out well, plus I had a gent who ran a few
    marathons as a running partner. He really pushed me to exceed what I
    thought were my limits. I think that helped ALOT....:)
    
    	jim
 | 
| 326.35 | a lot | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:34 | 1 | 
|  |     
 | 
| 326.36 | I'm hot | MPGS::MARKEY | Send John Thomas some doughnuts | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:35 | 1 | 
|  |     
 | 
| 326.37 | working out | PATE::CLAPP |  | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:35 | 9 | 
|  |     
    by pushing, do you mean running lots of wind sprints or 100%
    effort type runs?  I've tended run slower and not challenge 
    myself that much, perhaps I should.  Even in races I tend to
    stay at a comfortable pace (sort of like fast jogging).
    
    thanks,
    
    al
 | 
| 326.38 |  | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:44 | 19 | 
|  |     
    
>    by pushing, do you mean running lots of wind sprints or 100%
>    effort type runs?  
    
    	100% or at least 90% effort runs with a good sprint at the end (if
    you have anything left to give). I just pick a good fast pace that I
    think I can live with and go from there. You can't sprint a 6mile run
    (at least I can't), but if you can run a � marathon, you can probably
    push yourself pretty hard and get away with it. Just make sure you're
    good and stretched before trying it. slower running gives your muscles
    time to stretch and warm up whereas fast pace running will rip tight
    muscles.
    
    	just my $.02. Try the running_club notesfile for more
    advice....(I'll grab the exact address in a sec).
    
    
    jim
 | 
| 326.39 | running club note..... | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Fri Mar 03 1995 11:46 | 3 | 
|  |     
    
    	NAC::RUNNING_CLUB
 | 
| 326.40 |  | BIGQ::GARDNER | justme....jacqui | Fri Mar 03 1995 12:50 | 4 | 
|  | 
    <---- you run with Sean or Brian???
 | 
| 326.41 |  | BIGQ::SILVA | Squirrels R Me | Fri Mar 03 1995 13:31 | 9 | 
|  | | <<< Note 326.32 by SUBPAC::SADIN "One if by LAN, two if by C" >>>
| GLENN! stop that! :*)
	Yeah Richardson! Stop that! ALL OF YOU! 
 | 
| 326.42 |  | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Fri Mar 03 1995 14:39 | 9 | 
|  |     
    
    	re: .40
    
    	I used to run with Greg Myers when he was here (he has since left
    DEC for a new company).
    
    
    jim
 | 
| 326.43 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Mon Mar 06 1995 10:22 | 11 | 
|  |     I had a long conversation with a very knowledgable trainor yesterday
    and he cleared up all of my issues in 15 minutes. I need to increase my
    level on the stair master to 12 instead of 8 because at 8 it is making
    my heart work harder. At that level my heart rate is 179 pm (way to
    high for my age). I didn`t even have to tell him how tire I was after a
    work out and how I had to have orange juice within 3 hours or I start
    with the sweats, nervousness, and over all anxiety attach. Unfortunitly
    he told me after my workout so now tomorrow I have something to try
    out. He also said as I get more acclimated to level 12 I should be able
    to drop it to 10, 8, and so one. Up untill yesterday he said the only
    thing I was burning was carbohydrates.  
 | 
| 326.44 |  | 16134::GIROUARD_C |  | Mon Mar 06 1995 11:57 | 5 | 
|  |     -1 not true... you were burning fat too. regardless of the level
       (easy through intensive) fat gets burned. glycogen is just
       the primary fuel source for higher levels of effort.
    
       Chip
 | 
| 326.45 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Mon Mar 06 1995 11:59 | 1 | 
|  |     Perhaps I should have said not enough burning of the fat.
 | 
| 326.46 |  | PATE::CLAPP |  | Mon Mar 06 1995 12:28 | 16 | 
|  |     re: <<< Note 326.43 by MAIL2::CRANE >>>
    
    Glad you got that sorted out.  Last year I was doing something
    very similar, (running higher that 80% max heart rate).  This year
    I've slowed down a bit and the fat is finally coming off.
    
    Recently I invested in a Polar heart monitor (about $120). It's the
    kind that wraps around your chest, and has a readout on a wrist
    device.  I've been using it as a "speedometer" for my body, and 
    have been very pleased by the results.  It's made me very conscious
    of warm up/ cool down periods as well. 
    
    regards,
    
    al
                                           
 | 
| 326.47 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Wed Mar 08 1995 08:37 | 7 | 
|  |     Well, I went for my work out this morning and did what the Instructor
    suggested...and it worked. I was able to get and keep my heart rate at
    130 bpm on both the bike and stairmasted for a total of 35 minutes. I
    feel VERY good right now and I`m not tired from over working. I think
    this is what I was looking for.
    
    Thanks for all the input and response's. 
 | 
| 326.48 | stairmaster, responses | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Wed Mar 08 1995 08:42 | 1 | 
|  |     
 | 
| 326.49 |  | RDGE44::ALEUC8 |  | Wed Mar 08 1995 08:42 | 6 | 
|  |     i'm confused
    
    .43 - is 12 higher resistance than 8 ? if so, how come that makes your
    heart work less hard ?
    
    ric$puzzled
 | 
| 326.50 |  | PATE::CLAPP |  | Wed Mar 08 1995 14:18 | 22 | 
|  |     re: <<< Note 326.47 by MAIL2::CRANE >>>
    
    Glad things worked out.  
    
    Something useful to try.  Vary the intensity of your aerobics
    (as measured by your heartrate) over the course of time. For
    example, 
    		65% max heart rate for 30 minutes one night
    		75% ""             for 20 minutes another night
    		80% ""             for 15 minutes another
                
    This will let you improve all around.  Generally(!) the higher
    percentage you'll improve aerobic capacity, the lower the percentage
    the greater the percentage of the calories burned are fat.
    Keep the body guessing.  Also keeps you from getting bored.
    
    I can highly reccomend the book Fit or Fat by Covert Bailey.
    It covers this information very well.
    
    al
                                                                  
    
 | 
| 326.51 |  | MAIL2::CRANE |  | Wed Mar 08 1995 16:32 | 7 | 
|  |     On the stairmaster at Bally's the higher the resistance 12 the easier
    it is on my (your) heart. The lower the number 8 (or less) the harder
    it is on the ole ticker.
    
    Hope thats clear for ya. I often get the bike and the stairmaster
    confused because its just the opposit on the bike, the lower the number
    the easier on the heart.
 | 
| 326.52 |  | SUBURB::COOKS | Half Man,Half Biscuit | Thu Mar 09 1995 07:33 | 4 | 
|  |     I purchased a Cindy Crawford work out video.
    
    My right wrist is very fit indeed. ho!ho!
    
 | 
| 326.53 |  | WAHOO::LEVESQUE | luxure et supplice | Thu Mar 09 1995 08:12 | 1 | 
|  |     ready for the wanking olympics, are you?
 | 
| 326.54 |  | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Thu Mar 09 1995 08:13 | 5 | 
|  |     
    
    	how would that be scored? distance???
    
    
 | 
| 326.55 |  | ROWLET::AINSLEY | Less than 150 kts. is TOO slow! | Thu Mar 09 1995 08:15 | 1 | 
|  | Score = distance * volume
 | 
| 326.56 |  | WAHOO::LEVESQUE | luxure et supplice | Thu Mar 09 1995 08:16 | 1 | 
|  |     speed. originality. And remember, neatness counts. ;-)
 | 
| 326.57 |  | ROWLET::AINSLEY | Less than 150 kts. is TOO slow! | Thu Mar 09 1995 08:17 | 3 | 
|  | re: .56
Speed?  Does one lose points for finishing first?
 | 
| 326.58 | Strokin to the East, Strokin to the West.. | ODIXIE::ZOGRAN | Testudo is still grounded! | Thu Mar 09 1995 09:03 | 3 | 
|  |     Glad to see we have the situation well in hand.
    
    Dan
 | 
| 326.59 |  | HBFDT1::SCHARNBERG | Senior Kodierwurst | Thu Mar 09 1995 09:10 | 1 | 
|  |     Isn't that Stroke-in-Tent ?
 | 
| 326.60 | oh dear! | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 10:05 | 1 | 
|  |     
 | 
| 326.61 |  | DECLNE::REESE | ToreDown,I'mAlmostLevelW/theGround | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:29 | 2 | 
|  |     Deb, don't "oh dear" SING something, quick :-)
    
 | 
| 326.63 |  | POLAR::RICHARDSON | Alleged Degirdification | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:36 | 1 | 
|  |     What a frightfully witty little song.
 | 
| 326.64 |  | HANNAH::MODICA | Journeyman Noter | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:36 | 4 | 
|  |     
    
    
    				?
 | 
| 326.65 | 8^) | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:37 | 2 | 
|  |     
    Well, she TOLD me to sing.
 | 
| 326.66 |  | MPGS::MARKEY | Send John Thomas some doughnuts | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:41 | 7 | 
|  |     
    An impressive performance Mz. Deb. Bravo!
    
    Now, what was everyone else around you doing while you
    sang that?
    
    -b
 | 
| 326.67 | And your encore is... | ROWLET::AINSLEY | Less than 150 kts. is TOO slow! | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:44 | 2 | 
|  | Thank you, Mz. Debra!
 | 
| 326.68 |  | BIGQ::SILVA | Squirrels R Me | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:52 | 9 | 
|  | 
	I heard this morning that eating carbos can cause you to gain more
weight. I also heard this morning that if someone was obese, lost weight, they
will need to work out more than before to keep it off.
Glen
 | 
| 326.69 | .326 <blush> | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:55 | 2 | 
|  |     
    
 | 
| 326.71 |  | WMOIS::GIROUARD_C |  | Thu Mar 09 1995 13:59 | 14 | 
|  |     .68 true, but that isn't the whole story...
    
    there is something in carbos that stimulates the appetite. now, if
    you're on a high carbo - low/no exercise program (POP!) the weight
    shows up. 
    
    since carbos=gycogen is stored in the muscle and is the primary fuel
    source for (avg.) 2hrs worth of exercise, and that fuel source is not
    depleted regularly, (POP!) carbos=fat!
    
    it's a simple snapshot, but it's basically the limitation of a high
    carbo diet.
    
    Chip
 | 
| 326.73 | {blush} | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 14:33 | 1 | 
|  |     
 | 
| 326.74 |  | JULIET::MORALES_NA | Sweet Spirit's Gentle Breeze | Thu Mar 09 1995 14:35 | 1 | 
|  |     Karen... I said the same thing as I picked myself off the floor!
 | 
| 326.75 |  | SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI | Be vewy caweful awound Zebwas! | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:03 | 6 | 
|  |     
    I think mz_deb needs to get...
    
    
    
      into more plays....
 | 
| 326.62 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:13 | 20 | 
|  |     Potentially offensive song hidden behind formfeed.  If you have the
    potential to be offended, please do not read this song.  You have been
    warned.
    
         Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis,
         Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
         It's swell to have a stiffy,
         It's divine to own a dick,
         From the tiniest little tadger,
         To the world's biggest prick.
    
         So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas,
         Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
         Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
         Your Percy or your cock,
         You can wrap it up in ribbons,
         You can slip it in your sock,
         But don't take it out in public,
         Or they will stick you in the dock,
         And you won't come back.
 | 
| 326.76 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:17 | 5 | 
|  |     
    I got (er, received) a gentle scolding and hid it behind a formfeed 8^).
                        
    I can think of another Python song for an encore, but I'd probably get
    scolded for that one too 8^).
 | 
| 326.77 |  | BIGQ::SILVA | Squirrels R Me | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:17 | 4 | 
|  | 
	What did she say??? It's gone now.....
 | 
| 326.78 |  | BIGQ::SILVA | Squirrels R Me | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:25 | 5 | 
|  | | <<< Note 326.63 by POLAR::RICHARDSON "Alleged Degirdification" >>>
| What a frightfully witty little song.
	For some it's little, for some it's not. :-)
 | 
| 326.79 |  | MPGS::MARKEY | Send John Thomas some doughnuts | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:31 | 10 | 
|  |     >I got (er, received) a gentle scolding and hid it behind a formfeed 8^).
     
    Bah! To whomever it was that scolded Deb... work on that
    humor impairment, and leave nice ladies who enter songs
    about penises alone! In fact, next time I rent MP's "The
    Meaning Of Life", I'm going to be thinking of you while
    I watch the rest of the scene where the penis song
    appears.
    
    -b
 | 
| 326.80 |  | SUBPAC::JJENSEN | The Short-timer Fishing Widow | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:37 | 2 | 
|  | Chin up, Debra.... and	
"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" {whistling}
 | 
| 326.81 | for jojo | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 15:47 | 55 | 
|  |     	Cheer up, Brian.  You know what they say.
	Some things in life are bad,
	They can really make you mad.
	Other things just make you swear and curse.
	When you're chewing on life's gristle,
	Don't grumble, give a whistle!
	And this'll help things turn out for the best...
	And...
    
	...always look on the bright side of life!
    
	(whistle)
 
	Always look on the bright side of life...
	If life seems jolly rotten,
	There's something you've forgotten!
	And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,
 
	When you're feeling in the dumps,
	Don't be silly chumps,
	Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
	And... always look on the bright side of life...
 
	(whistle)
    
	Come on!
 
	Always look on the bright side of life...
    
	(whistle)
 
	For life is quite absurd,
	And death's the final word.
	You must always face the curtain with a bow!
	Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
	Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!
 
	So always look on the bright side of death!
	Just before you draw your terminal breath.
	Life's a piece of <r.o.>,
	When you look at it.
 
	Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
	You'll see it's all a show,
	Keep 'em laughing as you go.
	Just remember that the last laugh is on you!
 
	And always look on the bright side of life...
    
	(whistle)
    
	Always look on the bright side of life
    
	(whistle)
        
 | 
| 326.82 | Renew this woman's contract, already. | SUBPAC::JJENSEN | The Short-timer Fishing Widow | Thu Mar 09 1995 16:02 | 1 | 
|  | That was lovely.  {sniffle, tears welling up}
 | 
| 326.83 | DEC's answer to Bette Midler | DECLNE::REESE | ToreDown,I'mAlmostLevelW/theGround | Thu Mar 09 1995 16:21 | 8 | 
|  |     Deb,
    
    Thanks, I needed that :-)  That's absolutely the funniest dirty
    ditty I've ever seen :-)  
    
    You've made my day!
    
    
 | 
| 326.84 |  | POLAR::RICHARDSON | Alleged Degirdification | Thu Mar 09 1995 17:01 | 21 | 
|  |                      ___   ~----._
            _______     ~~---.__  `-.
        --~~       ~~-----.__   `-.  \
        _,--------------._   ~---. \  `.
      '~  _,------------. ~~-     `.\  |
     _,--~      _____    `        _____|_
         _,---~~          -----         `-.            /##
      ,-~   __,---~~--.       `._____,',--.`.        ,'##/
    ,' _,--~  __,----.          `  () '' ()' :    _,-' `#'
     ,~   _,-'   ,' ,--          `---' \ `.__,)--'     ,'
       ,-'      -  (                                _,'
     .'   _-~ ,'    `--                          ,-'
    /  ,-'  ,'  __                        ___,--'    _______________
     ,'  ,'~ ,-~     /            ___.ooo88o  |    ,'               `.
    /  ,' ,-'    /               ' 8888888888,'   _|                 |
      /  /    /                 '  `888888888.`.  \    DEB-RAAA!!!!  |
     /  /  /      /            '    `888888888 |   |                 |
       '      /     /         '       `888888','   `._______________,'
         /                   '           ~~~,'
        /   /  /            '            ,-'
         /           /                 ,'         
 | 
| 326.85 |  | ASABET::EARLY | Lose anything but your sense of humor. | Thu Mar 09 1995 17:03 | 10 | 
|  |     RE:  .62  
    
    {thund'rous applause} Encore! Encore! {standing now} {whistle whistle}
    Encore!
    
    Made my whole WEEEEK!
    
    /Intern
    
    
 | 
| 326.86 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 17:05 | 2 | 
|  |     
    Oh dear, I've been Spiney-Norman'd!
 | 
| 326.87 | Sit _where_? | SPEZKO::FRASER | Mobius Loop; see other side | Thu Mar 09 1995 18:19 | 5 | 
|  |         Now, Debra, if you dare - the opening song from MP-LATHB ...
        
        ;*)
        
        &y
 | 
| 326.88 |  | MPGS::MARKEY | Send John Thomas some doughnuts | Thu Mar 09 1995 18:29 | 8 | 
|  |     
    "Oh we're both doing fine when we're doing 69..."
    
    69 push ups that is, after all, this is the working out topic! :-)
    
    -b
    
 | 
| 326.89 |  | COVERT::COVERT | John R. Covert | Thu Mar 09 1995 21:45 | 3 | 
|  | 
	Mz Debra has obviously found the Monty Python web server.
 | 
| 326.90 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 22:36 | 2 | 
|  |     
    Actually, I don't think she has, but would welcome a pointer 8^).
 | 
| 326.91 |  | LJSRV2::KALIKOW | TechnoCatalyst | Thu Mar 09 1995 22:41 | 2 | 
|  |     Oh Yah, like you're surfable.  Are ya???
    
 | 
| 326.92 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 22:47 | 3 | 
|  |     
    Covert tried to order pizza from my house on Friday night.  I think I
    am 8^).
 | 
| 326.93 | You ain't.  And that's that. | LJSRV2::KALIKOW | TechnoCatalyst | Thu Mar 09 1995 22:53 | 2 | 
|  |     Waal li'l lady, it's kinda like virginity.  You'd KNOW it if you had.
    
 | 
| 326.94 |  | SUBPAC::JJENSEN | The Short-timer Fishing Widow | Thu Mar 09 1995 22:55 | 2 | 
|  |     Now he's got my attention.
    
 | 
| 326.95 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:02 | 2 | 
|  |     
    Just gimme the effing pointer, buddy 8^).
 | 
| 326.96 | Talk Hard | SNOFS1::DAVISM | And monkeys might fly outa my butt! | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:05 | 1 | 
|  |     Pointer waheeey sounds a bit rude... it sounds a bit like........bum!
 | 
| 326.97 | Talk Hard | SNOFS1::DAVISM | And monkeys might fly outa my butt! | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:07 | 2 | 
|  |     Deb..... Stop effing every effing fing you eff at!
    :*)
 | 
| 326.98 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:09 | 2 | 
|  |     
    Some words just say what you wanna say.
 | 
| 326.99 | OK MzDeb, GardyPythonLoo... :-) | LJSRV2::KALIKOW | TechnoCatalyst | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:10 | 37 | 
|  | 
<head><title>Yahoo Search</title><base href="http://akebono.stanford.edu/yahoo/search.html"></head>
<body>
<h1>Yahoo Search</h1>
<b>[ <a href="/yahoo/"><i>Yahoo</i></a> | <a href="/yahoo/">Up</a> | <a href="/yahoo/search.html">Search</a> | <a href="/yahoo/form.html">Suggest</a> | <a href="/yahoo/bin/add">Add</a> | <a href="/yahoo/hothelp.html">Help</a> ]</b><p>
13 matches were found containing all of the substrings (<b>monty</b>, <b>python</b>).<p>
</ul>
<a href="http://akebono.stanford.edu/yahoo/Entertainment/Movies_and_Films/Titles/Monty_Python/">Entertainment:Movies and Films:Titles:<b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b></a> - Various sketches, some pictures, and many many sounds bits
<ul>
<li><a href="gopher://ocf.berkeley.edu/11/Library/Monty_Python"><b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b></a>
<li><a href="ftp://ftp.netcom.com/pub/ha/hammers/comedy/python/python.htm"><b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b> [netcom.com]</a>
<li><a href="http://www.iia.org/~rosenr1/python/"><b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b> [Rich Rosen]</a>
<li><a href="http://xs4all.nl/~bigmac/python.html"><b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b> Archive Shop</a>
<li><a href="http://zoo.cs.yale.edu:8000/html/index/montypython.html"><b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b> at Yale</a>
<li><a href="http://sashimi.wwa.com/hammers/comedy/python/python.htm">Steve Rapport's <b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b></a>
<li><a href="http://www.limsi.fr/~krus/MontyPython/">The <b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b> Collection</a>
<li><a href="http://alfred.u.washington.edu:8080/~uffda/python.html">The <b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b> page</a> - a few pictures and lots of scripts from movies and sketches.
<li><a href="news:alt.fan.monty-python">Usenet - alt.fan.<b>monty</b>-<b>python</b></a> - Electronic fan club for those wacky Brits.
</ul>
<a href="http://akebono.stanford.edu/yahoo/Entertainment/People/">Entertainment:People</a>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://axle.adp.wisc.edu/~vponelis/victor.html">Ponelis, Victor</a> - What happens when a bureaucrat gets too bored?  Here are links to my wife, ferrets, Star Trek, <b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b>, Blackadder, etc....
</ul>
<a href="http://akebono.stanford.edu/yahoo/Entertainment/Television/Shows/Comedies/">Entertainment:Television:Shows:Comedies</a>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://akebono.stanford.edu/yahoo/Entertainment/Movies_and_Films/Titles/Monty_Python/"><b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b>@</a> - Various sketches, some pictures, and many many sounds bits
</ul>
<a href="http://akebono.stanford.edu/yahoo/Entertainment/Television/Shows/Comedies/British_Comedies/">Entertainment:Television:Shows:Comedies:British Comedies</a>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://akebono.stanford.edu/yahoo/Entertainment/Movies_and_Films/Titles/Monty_Python/"><b>Monty</b> <b>Python</b>@</a> - Various sketches, some pictures, and many many sounds bits
</ul>
<hr><b>Other Search Engines</b><br>
[ <a href="http://lycos.cs.cmu.edu/cgi-bin/pursuit"> Lycos</a> | <a href="http://webcrawler.cs.washington.edu/WebCrawler/WebQuery.html"> WebCrawler</a> | <a href="http://www.einet.net/"> EINet Galaxy</a> | <a href="http://web.nexor.co.uk/public/aliweb/search/doc/form.html"> Aliweb</a> | <a href="ht
tp://web.nexor.co.uk/susi/cusi.html"> CUSI Search Engines</a> | <a href="http:/yahoo/Reference/Searching_the_Web/">More...</a> ]<hr>
<i><a href="mailto:[email protected]">[email protected]</a></i><br>
Copyright � 1995 David Filo and Jerry Yang
 | 
| 326.100 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:12 | 2 | 
|  |     
    Well, I think I'll just go to bed now 8^/.
 | 
| 326.101 | Talk Hard | SNOFS1::DAVISM | And monkeys might fly outa my butt! | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:15 | 1 | 
|  |     {sniff}
 | 
| 326.102 |  | LJSRV2::KALIKOW | TechnoCatalyst | Thu Mar 09 1995 23:15 | 3 | 
|  |     Mind you don't go effing with the battery, you keep on wiv that you'll
    go blind.  Oh I fergot, you already DID go blind, you tole us so.
    
 | 
| 326.103 |  | COVERT::COVERT | John R. Covert | Fri Mar 10 1995 00:11 | 15 | 
|  | To use that thing Dan posted first type EXTRACT/NOHEADER MONTY_PYTHON.HTML
Then (from a character cell terminal), type LYNX MONTY_PYTHON.HTML
Move the cursor around with the up and down arrow, and then use the
right arrow to follow a link and the left arrow to go back where you
came from.
Or (from MOSAIC or NETSCAPE on a graphics terminal), open file MONTY_PYTHON.HTML
Point and click with the mouse or trackball.
LYNX (or at least my version thereof) doesn't understand "base", so the
search-related links at the top won't work unless you edit the file to
move the base directory into those links.
/john
 | 
| 326.104 | Talk Hard | SNOFS1::DAVISM | And monkeys might fly outa my butt! | Fri Mar 10 1995 01:19 | 3 | 
|  |     ahhhhhhh too much..... eerrrrrrrrerrrr overload
    
    BOOM
 | 
| 326.105 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Fri Mar 10 1995 02:05 | 3 | 
|  |     
    Thank you, John.
    
 | 
| 326.106 |  | LJSRV2::KALIKOW | TechnoCatalyst | Fri Mar 10 1995 04:26 | 5 | 
|  |     Hey you, go back to sleep!!!
    
    (Wot ::COVERT said sounded like it'd work.  If it doesn't, it's just
    pinin' for the fjords)
    
 | 
| 326.107 |  | RDGE44::ALEUC8 |  | Fri Mar 10 1995 06:44 | 6 | 
|  |     .52
    
    i think Elle MacPherson's is better
    
    ric
    8^)
 | 
| 326.108 |  | LJSRV2::KALIKOW | TechnoCatalyst | Fri Mar 10 1995 07:14 | 3 | 
|  |     Now how can you POSSIBLY even think that, much less know it, unless
    you've seen ::COOKS's wrist?????  Faulty logic alert.  Hermph.
    
 | 
| 326.109 |  | POWDML::LAUER | Little Chamber of Fuzzy Faces | Fri Mar 10 1995 09:12 | 2 | 
|  |     
    It worked!
 | 
| 326.110 |  | POLAR::RICHARDSON | Alleged Degirdification | Fri Mar 10 1995 09:55 | 5 | 
|  |     Didn't work for me.
    
    %DCL-W-IVVERB, unrecognized command verb - check validity and spelling
     \LYNX\
    
 | 
| 326.111 |  | BIGQ::SILVA | Squirrels R Me | Fri Mar 10 1995 10:25 | 3 | 
|  | 
	Glenn, you're from Canada, you have to replace LYNX with ESCORT. :-)
 | 
| 326.112 |  | RDGE44::ALEUC8 |  | Fri Mar 10 1995 10:29 | 6 | 
|  |     .108
    
    i will quite happily go out on a limb here and say i think Elle
    MacPherson's wrist is nicer than ::COOK's, sight unseen
    
    ric
 | 
| 326.113 |  | SUBPAC::SADIN | One if by LAN, two if by C | Fri Mar 10 1995 14:38 | 7 | 
|  |     
    
    	re: .110
    
    	would you like the program?
    
    jim
 | 
| 326.114 |  | FABSIX::P_OHALLORAN | I'll think of something | Fri Jul 05 1996 23:12 | 14 | 
|  |     
    after taking the last 2 months off I've begun my weight training again.
    I started this week with pecs & bi's this morning and I'm already in
    excruciating _pain_. I love it :^) tomorrow will be shoulders, traps &
    legs. Back and tri's the next day. I like to go 3 days on 1 off. On my
    off day I usually run or bike for cardiovascular. I've also changed my
    diet to high carbs and protein and keeping my sodiom intake very low. 
    I would like to be back to the weights I was using over the winter
    within 3-4 weeks. BTW. I am a certified fitness instructer thru A.C.E.
    so if any of you have questions don't hesitate to ask. 
    
    Pat
    
    
 | 
| 326.115 |  | MOLAR::DELBALSO | I (spade) my (dogface) | Fri Jul 05 1996 23:52 | 4 | 
|  | re: Working Out
If the weather is good tomorrow, I intend to work out in the yard.
 | 
| 326.116 |  | FABSIX::P_OHALLORAN | I'll think of something | Sat Jul 06 1996 00:24 | 4 | 
|  |     
    me too then some golf, then a party  :^)
    
    
 | 
| 326.117 |  | CSLALL::HENDERSON | Every knee shall bow | Sat Jul 06 1996 08:52 | 8 | 
|  | 
 Let's see..what's the date..6th..almost time for my monthly ride on my
 lifecycle..
 Jim who really should exercise more.
 | 
| 326.118 |  | GMASEC::KELLY | Queen of the Jungle | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:02 | 1 | 
|  |     oh, you mean hauling my butt outta bed in the morning doesn't count?
 | 
| 326.119 |  | FABSIX::J_SADIN | Freedom isn't free. | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:05 | 5 | 
|  |     
    
    	<nailing fingers to desk>
    
    
 | 
| 326.120 |  | GMASEC::KELLY | Queen of the Jungle | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:09 | 2 | 
|  |     <raised eyebrows>
    
 | 
| 326.121 |  | FABSIX::J_SADIN | Freedom isn't free. | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:09 | 3 | 
|  |     
    	<grin>
    
 | 
| 326.122 |  | GMASEC::KELLY | Queen of the Jungle | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:13 | 1 | 
|  |     <sigh of relief>
 | 
| 326.123 |  | FABSIX::J_SADIN | Freedom isn't free. | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:22 | 5 | 
|  |     
    
    <poke>
    
    
 | 
| 326.124 |  | GMASEC::KELLY | Queen of the Jungle | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:30 | 4 | 
|  |     {OH GAWD, YES, DON'T STOP}
    
    {ah,me,oh,my}
    
 | 
| 326.125 |  | DRDAN::KALIKOW | MindSurf the World w/ AltaVista! | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:35 | 4 | 
|  |     He meant FUN.
    
    Dincha Jim.
    
 | 
| 326.126 |  | GMASEC::KELLY | Queen of the Jungle | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:36 | 1 | 
|  |     damn the luck.
 | 
| 326.127 |  | FABSIX::J_SADIN | Freedom isn't free. | Sat Jul 06 1996 09:59 | 15 | 
|  |     
    re: .125
    
    	certainly not. :)
    
    re: .126
    
    	meet me under the <ff>
    
    
    
    
    	<poke - poke - poke>
    
    ;*)
 | 
| 326.128 |  | DRDAN::KALIKOW | MindSurf the World w/ AltaVista! | Sat Jul 06 1996 10:54 | 2 | 
|  |     Iz it hot in here?
    
 | 
| 326.129 |  | GMASEC::KELLY | Queen of the Jungle | Sat Jul 06 1996 11:00 | 1 | 
|  |     Not anymore :-)
 | 
| 326.130 |  | DRDAN::KALIKOW | MindSurf the World w/ AltaVista! | Sat Jul 06 1996 11:29 | 2 | 
|  |     Get a ROOM!! :-)
    
 | 
| 326.131 |  | POLAR::RICHARDSON | I shower naked, man. NAKED! | Sat Jul 06 1996 11:31 | 1 | 
|  |     Rooms are good for warm moist rogerings.
 | 
| 326.132 |  | FABSIX::J_SADIN | Freedom isn't free. | Sat Jul 06 1996 11:41 | 2 | 
|  |     
    	Good to see you Glenn. :)
 | 
| 326.133 |  | MKOTS3::JMARTIN | Madison...5'2'' 95 lbs. | Mon Jul 08 1996 09:47 | 1 | 
|  |     Me Jane...Big tree....
 | 
| 326.134 |  | FABSIX::P_OHALLORAN | I'll think of something | Wed Jul 10 1996 21:13 | 4 | 
|  |     
    I leave this place for just a few days and look at all the fun I miss
    
    
 |