Conference govt02::basingstoke

	...Which reminds me of an incident a couple of years ago.

	The local newspaper was advertising...
	
	'Basingstoke: Late night Xmas shopping on Thursday nights'

	Having a bit of shopping still to do I thought I'd take advantage
	of this. On arriving in Basingstoke centre it was almost completely
	deserted. The only shop open was Marks & Spencers, and as they
	stick to the 'Victorian' policy of not accepting credit cards, I
	gave up and went into Reading the next day.

	Reading and Guildford have a far better selection of shops than
	Basingstoke, and these places, unlike Basingstoke, have some decent
	pubs and restaurants in the town centres which are open for shoppers.
	(qv. Food on Potters Walk - Hah!)

		p1

    Re .0
    
    David the 12" Yugoslavian Dance Beat Re-Mix Version is in the Post to
    you as we speak.
    
    Anyway it is a whole new shopping experience where else can you spot so
    many old ladies slipping over on the tiles in the walks.
    
    The new CostCo Mega Centre opens in the Field behind the Jolly Farmer
    next year.  Then you won't have to worry about any of this.
    
    Regards
    
    Bruce

  Re .0 (Dave)

> It goes on about the wide variety of shops, good prices etc.

  Unfortunately it's true.  Now pick yourself up and carry on reading ...

  The trouble with words like "wide", "good", "edible", etc., is that they
  should only be considered in the same frame of reference as that of the
  person using them.  For example, the variety of shops in Basingstoke is
  "wide" compared to Lower Peover (or such-like), the prices are "good" if
  you have just come back from Scandinavia, the food is "edible" compared
  to roach wings boiled in a goat droppings sauce [there again, maybe that's
  not such a good example ... I think that was on the menu at FoPW last week].
  You see, this was just another marketing exercise which was doomed to fail
  whenever the listener has already encountered the real-world version of the
  fairy-tale catch-phrase.  Mind you, there's definitely some truth in it :
  it certainly is a "new shopping experience" compared to most towns ...
  [ excepting places like Harlow, Skelmesdale or Luton ].

> 1. Can these people be prosecuted under the Trades Description Act ?

  No chance [see above].  That's like expecting lawyers to be honest
  or Madonna to be musical.

> 2. Who sings/writes this crap ?

  Don't know but if you pay me, I'll do the cover version !

  [ By the way, I thought you weren't going to admit to "The Jeremy Beadle
  incident" ... ? ]

  Frank

    re:          <<< Note 705.3 by KERNEL::BELL "Macbeth III v.32" >>>
            -< "Imagine that you were the one without Basingstoke" >-
    
    Frank,
    
    You're right of course, but I think I'll complain anyway. I'd love to
    see their justification.
    
    BTW, I heard on the radio today that the latest Benetton ads are a
    montage of male and female genitalia. Not relevant to selling jumpers,
    but it does get the name mentioned. Perhaps Basingstoke would be better
    off using the same idea. 
    
    David L.                      
    
    PS: I'd still be interested in the words if anyone has them. Failing
    that I'll wait for Bruce's 12" version.
                                            

    David
    
    Could you please refrain from mentioning Genitalia and my 12" version
    in the same note ;*)
    
    Bruce

    Sorry Bruce, I thought your 12" version was a joke.
    
    David L.

    
    AAAAArrrggghhhh!
    
    I heard it again. The words go:
    
    	Ba-sing-stoke, it's a whole new shopping exper-ience (bum, bum, bum)
    	Bas-ing-stoke, it's a whole new way of li-iiiife (tra, la, la, la)
    
    How right.
    
    David L.
    
    PS: Tony, you're right. 
    
    I checked whether Basingstoke Library had a copy of the 12" version of
    the Yugoslavian disco remix, but they didn't have. They investigated
    further and found that there is indeed a 1/2" version, but it's not
    available in Basingstoke. The nearest copy they could locate was in the
    Central Hampshire Record and CD Collection now housed in a new purpose
    built installation in Cliddesden. It was built as an extension to
    Cliddesden Library as part of National Library Extension Week. 
    
    The domed roof of the new building can be glimpsed from the M3 just
    past the end of Cliddesden airfield.
    
    Regards,
    
    David L.

    David
    
    The Airfield you mention..  Is this where the Balloons Over Cliddesden 
    Festival is to be held.  I have seen the posters in town but was unsure
    of the actual site of the Airfield.  Apparently the highlight of this
    years Balloons Over Cliddesden Festival will be the simultaneous
    Helicopters versus Balloons fast landing and take off display.  Made
    all the more exciting by the recnt rule changes wherebye Balloon Pilots
    who either deliberately or accidently impair the rotation of the
    Helicopters rotors with their balloons or baskets get a ten second
    penalty imposed on them.
                   
    Re the words go:
    
    I'm sure they actualy are more like Basingstoke Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum
    deeeeee  Bum Bum Bum Bum Doo Dee Bum Bum Bummmmmmmmmm.
    
    I'll  check again by slowly replaying the bootleg tape version that I
    got from Andy Hopkins.  Andy as I'm sure you will be aware,  is an avid 
    collector of shopping centre jingles,  as well as being one of 
    Black Lace's (Billy don't be a hero) biggest fans.
    
    Have a nice day.
    
    
    Bruce

    collector of shopping centre jingles,  as well as being one of 
    Black Lace's (Billy don't be a hero) biggest fans.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Shouldn't that be Paper Lace (The night Chicago died etc.)

Steve.

    What is the number of the other notes strngs that extolled the virtues
    of the city of Cliddesden ? (there are at least 2)
    
    Royston

    re .10
    
    Steve You obviously know your music.  I suggest that you contact Andy
    who can fully update you on this.  I believe that David Lloyd has
    recently purchased the extended unedited version of the Goombay Dance
    Band 's Seven Tears from Andy, so it's safe to assume that the
    knowledge you so desperately seek is there somewhere.
    
    Regards
    
    Bruce
    
    PS: Does anybody know why SONY have closed down "Lower Fox Lane" at the
    Jays Close End. ??

>    
>    PS: Does anybody know why SONY have closed down "Lower Fox Lane" at the
>    Jays Close End. ??
>
	I think this is to enable work to start on the Cliddesden Relief
	Road. The traffic along Cliddesden Lane was murder this morning.

	Jo,...I think we may be mod-less.

re .17

>Well there's two show up though whether they're real and still 
>here I'd doubt... 

	I can assure you that both Mark Jeffery & myself _are_ real & still 
here. It's just that we take the 'hands-off' approach to notesfile moderation.

	I'm reluctant (i.e. can't be bothered) to go around changing notes 
titles particularly general discussion notes. If the base noter wants to then 
go ahead it's literally your privilege. Besides I think it's rather an 
arresting title.

Nigel
(Your friendly neighbourhood part-time Goderator)

Hi,

I'm alive and I kick occasionally.

I take the hard hearted approach, and will rigidly enforce policy regarding
advertising etc.

If you would like to change the notes conference title, I suggest we have a
vote!

Mark.