Conference 7.286::digital

    On a related note:  A spaceship of unknown design landed in the small
    town of Upyoursa, NJ. 

This week's issue of "Management & Mission", published today, runs an 
article on the current spate of research into the sinking of the 
Titanic. By examination of undersea footage and computer simulated 
reconstructions of the ill-fated superliner's final moments a 95% 
certain scenario has emerged. Indeed, by some fluke of fate and 
hithero unknown side effects it appears that Titanic's collision with 
the iceberg and subsequent sinking was the result of nothing less than 
the improper arrangement of deckchairs in the forward recreation area. 
The Sloane School of management commented that years of academic 
research has finally been vindicated.

    Ah, thanks for the humor!  Here I am at work on a Saturday (again).
    As I leave LKG today, I'll see a little sign on the wall that asks, 
    "Are your lights out?"  It always gives me something to ponder 
    as I walk to my car ...
    
    Steve

	I couldn't believe it either.  What I had heard is that we'd be called
"DEC" but you need to spell it out.  An announcement will come out Monday 
describing the change to employees and telling them where they can sign up for
classes on the proper way to spell "D E C" to the public!:>

    
    	Actually Corporate Communications has prepared an extensive set of
    documents detailing the correct methodology for spelling D E C with
    appropriate fonts and graphics.
    
    	It has been said that the SLT devoted personal time to this project
    and that all are in agreement pending final review of the corporate
    standards document and the results from several targetted focus groups
    of customers, employees, managers, media, and the general public.
    
    	Also there is a complete lexicon for our non-English speaking
    brethern including customized fonts in 103 languages. This time
    we are ready!!!!
    
    	Expect to see the new D E C shortly.
    
    
    		the Greyhawk

    Does this mean that we can expect to see the continuation of the last
    week's Wall Street Journal's advisement to something like:
    
        WE WANTED
        TO CALL IT
        KILLER-
        COMPLIANT
        BUTT-KICKIN'
        MEGA-OPEN
        64-BIT UNIX.
    
                 Marketing made us
        shorten it to Digital UNIX.
       
    	..but our old faithful DEC
    	lovin' customers told us
    	that we call it D E C UNIX.
    	
                                   

    re .0
    nicely done

    This just in; sorry for late posting due to internet mail propogation
    delays, please pretend it's still yesterday.
    
    Maynard, Mass. -- April 1, 1995 -- As a follow on to this morning's
    surprise announcement that Digital is reverting back to its old name
    DEC, the company announced that it is shortening the names of all Alpha
    products.  The move was explained as being required for compatibility
    with the 15-character database and screen fields used by the majority
    of its resellers, distributors, and channels.
    
        Henceforth, the           AlphaStation 200 4/xxx 
        series will be called     Mustang/xxx
    
        The soon-to-be-announced  AlphaServer 8200 5/300
        will now be called        Turbolaser
    
        And the widely praised    AlphaServer 2100 4/200
        will be called            Sable/190
    
    Immediate praise was drawn by industry analysts and consultants
    throughout the computer world, who had heard of Mustang, Turbolaser,
    and Sable, but could never remember which was which in the long-name
    format.  
    
    When this reporter inquired about the legal ramifications of using a 
    term such as Sable, which has previously been used by an automobile
    company, a Digital spokesperson gave the surprising response that "In
    the last go-round a RALLY application with a sense of humor laid off
    all the lawyers, so there was no one to tell us not to.  Besides,
    anyone who buys a computer expecting it carry 6 adult passengers in
    comfort whilst running on no-lead gasoline deserves what he gets."
    
    DEC also announced that it had relaxed its policy on re-hiring former
    employees, and announced the appointment of a junior engineering tech
    in the power supply division (Ken Olsen); a quality assurance
    specialist in the VMS operating system group (Dave Cutler); and
    imaginative dreamers to enter fantastic replies into notes file (too
    many names to list).

    Due to the change in corporate image and the reuse-recycle of the term 
    DEC we will have an immediate change in formal phone answering process
    which will be followed up by corporate taskforce and foraml training.
    
    Until trianing is available please answer the phone
    
         "Hello This Is Me, Is That You?"

    >    Until trianing is available please answer the phone
    
    I thought it was "Is this the party to whom I'm speaking?"
    

    Until you are "phone certified" please refrain from answering the
    phone.
    
    ;-)
    
    DaveW.

    
     ..and everyone in the company will be mailed expensive high-glossed
    multi-paged book-letts explaining the proper use of the name DEC.
    
    ....and the MKO site will re-plant the shrubs spelling out DEC.
    
    

    Here in New York State, Dee Eee Cee is the Department of Environmental
    Conservation.

    Ahhhh.  No one mentioned what the new logo color is?
    

RE: .14

	Oh, that reverts back to blue with square dots.

						mike

And at the same time DEC changed the name of its highly regarded operating
system from OpenVMS back to VMS. Thousands of customers flooded the CSC with
calls asking what steps were needed to perform the upgrade.

    The reversion, although amusing here, as an April Fool joke, is not
    a bad idea.
    DIGITAL is an adjective, meaning OF OR INVOLVING A DIGIT in my Digital
    Equipment Corporation issue tiny dictionary.  They do not say which
    digit.  The adjective is used to modify everything from Television
    signals to tape and CD recordings.
    I expect to answer with my official DIGITAL, GOOD MORNING, THIS IS ...
    and have someone say, "Digital what???, wristwatches?"
    DEC pronounced like the floor of a ship was less easy to mistake.

    ...and I always thought IBM sounded like your youngster had to do #2. :^]

    I've often suspected that the digit in question was the middle one..:^)

 re: .17

 >   The reversion, although amusing here, as an April Fool joke, is not
 >   a bad idea.
  ------------------------------------------^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  it was?

 re: .17

	Your note reminded me of the following experience.  When a friend
and I were in the Bahamas in a taxi cab, the driver asked us where we worked.
We told him Digital, and he said "oh, you make watches?"  We looked at each
other, smiled, and said "yeah"...found it quite amusing at the time!



Laura