Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    The list is in note 330. It basically is for refusing to argue with
    someone who is unwilling to be resonable or who is simply looking for a
    fight.  
    
    This is a technique taught by the local domestic violence prevention
    group when someone is playing the game "UPROAR".  UPROAR is when a
    person is going to find something to argue about until they can work
    themselves up into a true rage and lash out.  There is no way to reason
    with a person engaging in uproar, if you try they will hop on your next
    alternative as "bad" and continue to escalate until you are on your way
    to a violent episode.
    
    Two techniques to defuse uproar are basically the same in that they do
    not respond to the person UPROARING.  One is to remove yourself from
    the immediate location.  The other is to refuse to respond to baiting,
    goading and whining until the person gives up and goes away, or calms
    down.  Since I have no wish to stop engaging in =wn= I am refusing to
    respond to a person when they are refusing to listen.
    
    Meg

    I dunno.
    I think I get it.
    It is kind of precarious though.
    In physical conflict, it may calm the person down enough to get
    away in the event of an emergency.  I can see that.
    In phsycological, electronic, or notal form I kinda wonder.
    
    It still, after several months now, a boarder line behavior.
    
    It feels like it can easily be turned to martyrdom. "Those evil
    hateful women won't even TALK to me... and they said they were
    interested in everyones opinion.  If they will not listen
    when they are in control, why should we listen where we are."
    The firt time through, this may sound like a tantrum...or like
    someone is licking their wounds.  If enough fuel is given
    for it to be repeated often... it becomes a kind of wedge.
    ... A battle cry of sorts... a shield... which in badly intentioned
    hands ... could hurt =wn= more than the energy it saves.
    
    Sometimes I worry that it is one of the weapons we may be
    sharpening that may eventually disembowel us.
    
    e.g. - I sometimes like to try the Ghandi or MLK approach.
    They did not passively ignore their oppressors.  They passively
    interacted with their oppressors.  Slowly, they wear little parts
    of them away. Not with pain, or vindictiveness, but with
    understanding.  You are right, it is very tough to do.  It cost
    the above two their lives.  So I can see why many may not wish
    to opt for it.
    On the other hand, sometimes, I just shoot my bow. At those times, the 
    concept of Amazon warrior women appeals to me.
    
    Cindi        

    Be that as it may, Cindi, it is the best thing we have been able to
    come up with to date.
    
    E Grace

historical note: over a year ago, Maggie explained her refusal to interact
in terms I won't attempt to restate.  Read her words in 22.369.  A multi-
tude of us gratefully seized upon the ideas, thus was born the list; as I
remember it, anyway.  330 became a placeholder to remove it from the processing
topic.

DougO

    >Be that as it may, Cindi, it is the best thing we have been able to
    >come up with to date.
    
    I don't know, E, I can think of a lot better things to date. :-)
    
    Mary

re .-1, I hear that geologists are into radioactive dating.

Dan

    I hear that palm dates are pretty nice in the Middle East.
    
    -d

    Um, did I miss something here?  This string clearly states that the
    list is note #330.  However, when I go to 330 it is a discussion on
    girls getting their first menstrual period.  Is it .330 somewhere?
    
    Karen

    
    	It's topic 303.* (not 330.*)...
    

    Thanks.
    
    Karen

    Oops, my dyslexia struck again.
    
    Meg