Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    
    The Boston Women's Health Collective published a book that sounds like
    what you're looking for. I forget the title now but I can find out.
    
    D.

Our Bodies, Ourselves

I don't know if they put out a version for younger readers, but
their regular version of this book would be very appropriate for
any teen.

Kathy

    
    - .1
    
    The book I'm thinking of (my source just informed me) is called
    Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: A Book for Teens on Sex and
    Relationships, by Ruth Bell and other co-authors of Our Bodies, Ourselves,
    pub. Vintage Press, 1988. (So I guess the BWHC didn't actually publish 
    this one but some of their authors contributed to it.) Costs around $13 
    and is well worth it.
    
    D.
    

My wife picked up a book for my daughter, titled

	"Every Girl"

She read thru it with her, and my wife claims it was well worth it,
and dealt right on Melanies level (10 yrs.)

It maybe that your kid sister is too old for the book,, I'm not sure..

Probably be worth a glance if you could find it.

It dealt with menstration, physical changes, emotional changes, and
(gasp..) boys,,,  

(Yikes, my daughter, and,,, BOYS !!! (which I was never one of!)  Oh no,,,
I guess it's not going to get any easier...)

Good luck, and it's nice of you to be looking out for little sister..

/r

    I'd second the vote for Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, it is very
    well done.

    I don't remember the titles, but Planned Parenthood, used to have
    several informative booklets, written for a teen level.  They dealt
    with Birthcontrol, relationships, sexuality, mentration etc.  They are
    inexpensive, but donations are always appreciated.
    
    Meg

    Your sister is 14?  Is she anywhere near as smart as you are?  [ :-) ] 
    Then she is definitely ready for Our Body, Ourselves.  You might want
    to get her the co-book for teenagers, I don't know, I haven't read it;
    but OBOS makes a great reference book, and I know that *I* was ready
    for it when I was 14.  (Of course, by that time I had already read "The
    Joy of Sex" and "The Hite Report" and scads of similar books.)
    
    I'm glad you are doing this. I feel very strongly that kid should be
    educated about sex and sexuality, and that if parents won't do it,
    someone else should.  Good luck.
    
    (I actually remember being 14!  Sex was just about all I ever thought
    about!)
    
    D!
    
    (I do *not* recommend "Sex, With Love" because of it's somewhat
    homophobic content.  I remember getting so angry at that book when I
    was 13, and first discovering my non-heterosexual side, that I tore it
    up.)

    "Our Bodies, Ourselves" has some pretty graphic descriptions of
    violence/rape and disease, and some pretty graphic (sometimes
    unpleasant) pictures.  Why don't you go through parts of it together
    with her after you've looked through the whole thing.  I agree a
    majority of it is well-written and very informative (it's MY first
    resource when I have questions, that's for sure), but I think you
    should share it with her with your supervision....
    
    -Jody
     

    What I like about "Our Bodies, Ourselves," _IS_ its openness on topics
    generally glossed over--even ignored--by most other readily available
    sources.  But I would agree with Jody that a 14-year-old _MIGHT_ find it
    a bit too explicit as a first exposure (no pun intended).
    
    I stress MIGHT because I've known some 14-year-olds who were mature
    enough in every way to handle the information.
    
    Use your judgment.
    Karen
    
    

    
    Erik,
    
    	What a nice brother you are!
    
    bonnie

	Thank you for the suggestions... so far I have:

	1) "Our Bodies, Ourselves" [3 votes for, 2 warnings of graphic pictures
	   (for 14 yr olds) with suggestions to go thru it with her] 
	2) Changing  Bodies,  Changing  Lives:  A  Book  for  Teens  on Sex and
	   Relationships, by  Ruth  Bell  and  other co-authors of  Our Bodies,
	   Ourselves. (3 votes for)
	3) "From Girlhood to Womanhood, A Book for Girls" by Linda Madress.
	4) "Every Girl"
	5) Planned Parenthood informative booklets
	6) Suggestion *against* "Sex, With Love" (homophobic)


	The hardest  part  with  this  is  that  I don't want to blast open any
	childhood  naivet� or innocence she may still have with a college level
	sexuality  course,  but  at  the  same  time  I  don't  want  her to be
	completely unknowledgeable.   I  think a book written for teenage girls
	that also doesn't 'talk down' to them is probably my best bet.

	I'll be  visiting  various  bookstores  over the weekend (esp.  the big
	Barnes  &  Nobles  at  Boston's Downtown Crossing - they usually have a
	nice  diverse selection).  I'll let you know what I come up with when I
	come back from the holidays...

	Thanks for all the help...  especially the supportive comments! <blush>
	:-)

	Happy Holidays!

	-Erik (big  brother  who  is  still  getting  used to the fact that our
	'little' Tina isn't 8 yrs old any more :-)]

Also,
I was at Crone's Harvest in Jamaica Plain (edge of Boston)
last night and they had a number of books -- maybe most of
those listed here.  Might be very nice for the two of you
to go and let her pick out one or two ... (Galways -- a rather
family/neighborhood feeling bar across the street has great
BBQ ribs too!)

My mom was pretty much like your mom. The best thing about
getting my period was that a year earlier my Catholic 
grade school had shown us a Walt Disney movie on menses ...
the title is long gone, but it was GREAT for a ten year
old who came from a family that went into choke gear at the
mention [or thought] of anything south of the belly button.

	Just a quick note to give the conclusion of my search... I chose:

	2) Changing  Bodies,  Changing  Lives:  A  Book  for  Teens  on Sex and
	   Relationships, by  Ruth  Bell  and  other co-authors of  Our Bodies,
	   Ourselves. (3 votes for)

    	It was a very hard book to find in stock anywhere but what an
    	EXCELLENT book it is for teenagers! It had both sexes read about
    	the other's bodies as well as their own. It included excellent
    	sections on understanding your body, masturbation, contraception,
    	exploring yourself with someone of the opposite sex, exploring
    	yourself with someone of the same sex, safe sex practices, "what
    	if you happen to be gay?", sexual assault, and women's issues.
    	That's just from memory, I'm sure I forgot other important social
    	and sexual issues this book dealt with VERY VERY WELL.

    	On all the issues I found the book to be 'right on'. It is also
    	perfect for teenagers since it did not talk down to or especially
    	PREACH to them. It presented all sides of an issue, and let you
    	make up your own mind for yourself. [IE, "if you are from a family
    	who is very religious where the religion says masturbation is dirty
    	and evil, you have to decide for yourself what works FOR YOU. Don't
    	let other people make up your mind for you. YOU decide what is
    	right FOR YOU. And do only what feels right for you." That theme
    	ran through the sexual assault, sex before marriage, boys being
    	pressured to have sex early, girls being pressued not to have sex,
    	homosexuality and many of the other important passages as well].

    	I read the entire book and was continually fascinated by how well
    	and how in-depth they were able to get into so *many* deep social
    	issues. If only everyone was given this book in their early years
    	and understood men and women as equal partners as this book
    	promotes.

    	Thanks again for the appreciated pointers to this wonderful book...

    	-Erik

Any feedback about the gift from your mother, Erik? The book sounds
excellent, but your base note suggested your mother might not think
so. 

Kathy

    
    	I called my mother first before I got the book to make sure her
    	reaction was not completely against the idea altogether. She was
    	hesitent about it at first, but then came to feel she trusted my
    	judgement and would feel comfortable with the choice of book I
    	came up with (I mentioned what I was looking for in a book).
    
    	Since then, she now thinks it's a wonderful idea. And has even joked
    	[several times] that she will have to read it herself too and maybe
    	learn some things herself as well in the process. :-)  Since she
    	comes from such a strict conservative European background where such 
    	subjects were not to be talked about, I think most of the reason for 
    	her not wanting to talk to my sister about these issues is her own
    	discomfort with them internally herself. 
    
    	As for my sister's reaction... 
    
    	I gave her the book in private (away from my Mom's male partner in
    	case she might feel embarassed) and gave her a little talk about
    	how she shouldn't ever be embarrassed about her body or the book,
    	and other things which I had written on the inside cover. She
    	didn't seem the least bit curious. I told her that she may (or may
    	not) be embarrassed at some parts and that she should only read
    	what and when she wants to, and how I want her to grow up healthy 
    	and knowing all of herself, etc, etc. Her response - "Oh, OK,
    	thanks..." and then raved about another thing I gave her (a stuffed
    	animal she loves). It kind of felt like it went over her head at
    	the moment.
    
    	It's sort of what I expected. She may not be at a point where she
    	is interested yet (despite already 'dating a boy'). But it's there
    	when and if she becomes curious... or wants to check on things she
    	hears from her friends. 
    
    	On the whole I'm very happy with how it went. I think it was a
    	great idea.... for both her AND my Mom. :-) :-)
    
    	-Erik
                                         

    Erik, your sister acting like she was uninterested or uncurious doesn't
    necessarily mean anything.
    
    I got the chance to look at this book over Christmas, when I found it
    lying on a chair at my father's place.  I asked him what it was doing
    there, and he said he left it on the chair for the three teenage kids
    he has living with him.  He never mentioned it to them, and they never
    mentioned it to him, but it disappears from the chair and reappears
    regularly.  Not only are some kids embarassed to talk about sex with
    older people, some don't want to even admit an *interest* in the
    subject. Your sister might have been extremely interested, but forced
    herself to act nonchalant to avoid embarassment.
    
    The book itself is terrific.  I was very impressed with their handling
    of some difficult issues when I looked at it at Dad's.  I still think
    "Out Bodies, Our Selves" would be a good reference book, but as a book
    to *learn* from, I think "Changing..." is great.
    
    D!