Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    
    Dear Friend,
    
    There is a certain kind of peer pressure that seems more hurtful
    than others, and that is the pressure that an individual feels to 
    do something she might not otherwise do for the good of "X" (x
    = race, creed, "the children", social groups, political and
    professional acquaintances...etc.).   It sounds like you're concerned
    about how your choice (in either case) will affect other women's
    chances at becoming leaders, as well as your own future.
    
    There is no easy solution for what you're experiencing, but I would
    encourage you to check your heart and really know WHY you're making
    decisions and the consequences of those decisions, and as in all
    cases, not to decide is to decide.  Chances are if you don't choose
    one alternative or another you will be pushed into something you
    may regret.  

    I realize that this probably isn't exactly the input you are hoping
    for, but I am concerned that you be satisfied no matter what your
    choice... Good luck!
    
    dm     
    
        

    This may be off base, since you don't say much about your situation.  I
    hope it isn't unwelcome.  I don't think your problem is Digital
    resistance to women in management roles; at least 2 of the 3 main
    groups I've been with have had more women that men in middle
    management/supervisory roles.  But the 3rd was quite different, so it
    can be a problem in these terms.
    
    Let me speculate.  You worry about "leadership" and also about
    "advancement." Are these not somewhat separate issues?  Many Digits
    don't opt for management/supervisory tracks, and surely one good thing
    about the company is that you can make that choice and still have far
    to advance as an "individual contributor."  Advancement seems to me a
    separate issue.  People on either "ladder" could decide they want to
    work hard to move up, or that they don't (right now).  I have thought
    another nice thing about the culture was that people are (usually)
    valued for what they contribute, rather than whether or not they are
    moving along some conventional "success path."  How is your experience
    different?
    			- Bruce

    By the way, just because you are the "leader", that doesn't mean
    you have to "lead" in the traditional manner.  Here's a viewpoint
    which may produce a non-leader style:  You are now resonsible for
    the development of people and their project(s), and you must draw
    forth the best from them.
    
    						Ann B.

    I've thought a lot about this topic in general. I'm a leader when
    pressed but don't prefer it. For about 2 years I was a team leader on
    the phone teams at the customer support center. It cured me forever of
    any desire to be in management. Before that I thought that's where I
    was headed.

    Now the problem. I still feel as though my NOT wanting to do this
    relflects on women. It's like I'm supposed to want to be a leader just
    to prove women can do it. How I could have grown up the oldest child in
    my family and feel this way I don't know. All my best friends are the
    take charge sort. I usually happily follow along in whatever they
    decide we want to do.

    I don't believe this attitude is because I'm a woman but rather because
    I'm me. I do feel guilty about it, as though it's a cop-out to the
    women's movement or something. Is there anything wrong with being the
    first officer rather than the captain? I think our culture believes it
    is and in the era of the baby boom many are bound not to be leaders but
    followers just due to the tremendous size of our generation.

    I'd like to see our culture give more respect to those who are not
    always looking to get ahead. liesl

    Not wanting to be in "management" is not a failing, IMHO, it is a mark
    of intelligence.
    
    /s/ Jim (give me the technical track any day) Williams

    .5 reminds me of something.  When my current manager was promoted 
    to management, another of her direct reports gave her the 
    following slogan:
    
    Louise, you manage things and you lead people.  It's important to
    remember the difference.
    
    Taking coals to Newcastle, imo; she's a natural at both!
    
    aq
    

This topic sure hits home.  

I am currently a project leader for an engineering team, and I had a lot of
qualms about accepting the position.   Although I felt quite comfortable with my
own technical work and voicing my ideas, I didn't feel comfortable having the
responsibility for deciding on the direction of an entire project.  It's one
thing to have lots of ideas, and it's another thing to evaluate all of the ideas
and decide which one is the way to go.

Accepting the position was a pre-requisite to relocating to the South of France. 
If it wasn't for that, I definitely would not have accepted the position. 
Although there have been many many times when I regretted taking the position, I
must admit that I have benefitted personally and professionally from the
experience.


>>    What have I missed about the idea of being a leader that has been so
>>    appealing to some other women and men?


The appeal of being a leader is making the decisions in how things are done.
It's seeing "the big picture" and not being confined to your own corner of the
world.  It's discovering resources and capabilities in yourself that you never
thought you had.  It's earning the respect of your team and your superiors.  And
most of all, it's taking the credit for a well-run project.  The flip side, of
course, is bearing the responsibility for a badly-run project.  

Fear of failure shouldn't be what stops you from accepting a leadership
position.  No one is going to sideline you for fumbling on your first attempt at
leading.  Leading is a learning process which improves with practice.  

Concern #1:  "My male co-workers might resist my attempts/ideas/decisions/style"
Certainly conflict isn't fun, but think of how good you'll feel when they
support your attempts and ideas.  It is in their best interest to help you in
any way they can.

Concern #2:  "My manager might assume that the reason I don't want to be a
leader is because I'm a woman."  Some people are leaders, others are not.  If
your manager feels this way, I would suggest finding another manager!  (Easier
said than done, I know)

Concern #3:  "My manager might have preconceived notions as to what a good
senior person should be."  Ditto #2.  It's your manager's job to help you to
develop yourself in the way that is most beneficial to you and DEC.  If you're
interested in being an individual contributor, then his/her job is to do
everything possible to support you in that role.

Enough rambling for one evening...

Camille

    This response is from the basenote author....
    
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    Thanks very much for the responses so far!

    .7> Fear of failure shouldn't be what stops you from accepting a leadership
    .7> position.  No one is going to sideline you for fumbling on your first 
    .7> attempt at leading.  Leading is a learning process which improves with 
    .7> practice.  

    The problem in my group is that I'm not a formal leader.  I'm a technical
    resource in one of the highest ranking positions in my cost center, but
    I don't have any formal designation as a leader.  It's an informal role
    that I'm expected to play in my group, and I'm being judged on my ability
    to fulfill this role (without having any authority over specific projects,
    other than those I'm pursuing on my own.)  

    In other words, I'm expected to display the personality of A Leader,
    without having much that I can be regarded as Leading.

    .7> Concern #3:  "My manager might have preconceived notions as to what a 
    .7> good senior person should be."  Ditto #2.  It's your manager's job to 
    .7> help you to develop yourself in the way that is most beneficial to you 
    .7> and DEC.  If you're interested in being an individual contributor, then
    .7>  his/her job is to do everything possible to support you in that role.

    The good news is that my manager and I have taken a step in this direction.

    In my performance appraisal some weeks back, I received some criticism for
    not being perceived as an aggressive leader in my group, so I discussed it
    with my manager (in terms of the sort of role I would rather play.)

    He asked me to name an engineer in another group (in a similar position
    to the one I hold in my group) whom I would regard as being an "ideal"
    technical resource.  The person I thought of is a male engineer we both
    know very well whose style is one that is different from what my manager
    had in mind (but one that would suit me quite a bit better than the style
    that has been expected of me up to now.)  

    The good news is that we've since adjusted the expectations of what my role
    should be in the group.  Rather than enduring more frustration in trying
    to be something I'm not,  I'm being allowed to create a role that will be
    more like _I am_ (which will give me the opportunity to keep progressing
    in ways that will be enhanced by my own attributes.)

    I'm very pleased with this new direction.  I'll let you know how it goes.

    Thanks again for all the responses!