Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    I'd support her all the way and stand up with her with pride.  One of
    the most loving things we can do is to support someone else's dreams.
    
    As to the "bad luck" perhaps your wife could find something else to
    affirm--maybe even something Chinese, if possible, such as a Confucian
    statement about love or filial loyalty, or she could even say that she
    chooses now to believe in Australian good luck ideas.
    
    Briana
    

Or, if your wife agrees with her parents, tell your parents the truth, and let
her off the hook. I suppose that means asking your wife what _she'd_ like to
do...
	Mez

    I think it's a nice dream to come true for your mother.  I think you
    should support her as well as you can.  
    
    About your wife's 'problem', since this isn't an actual 'real' wedding
    is the bad luck problem still 'real' too?  Even if your wife still
    can't be in the wedding, can't you?  Afterall, your mother gave up her
    first wedding because of her father's distress of giving her away, you
    don't want to upset that......
    
    Anna
    
    

    Stand next to your mum and do her proud. She was there before your
    wife was! 
    
    But seriously, if I were in your shoes with  your wife and her parents
    beliefs, What does your wife's opinion? Does she still think
    in the traditional ancient beliefs?? I understand that your mum
    has asked you and your wife to be a part, I assume that you don't
    share your in'laws views, on bad luck, so can you take part without
    her if it comes down to that.(I hope not)
    
    But if it were me Sure I'd do it, who am I not to help make somebody
    else's dream not come true, especially if it is done with love.
    
    Lise

    I would be honored.  Obviously it means a great deal to your mum for
    you to be there for her in her life long dream,so you should stand by
    her.  If your wife believes different,she is entitled, but you should
    be there during such a happy moment in your mums life!  I think you
    will regret it if you dont

    G'Day,
    
    	Thanks to all those who have answered.  No firm plans have been
    made for this yet so we have a bit of time to sort something out.  With
    this sunday being Fathers' Day we will all be getting together so the
    topic will probably come up in discussion.  It doesn't really worry me
    whether I do it or not.  I don't really believe in luck, good or bad,
    destiny is probably more manouvered by actions than luck.  My wife is
    not as superstitious as her parents and probably would have gone ahead
    if her parents had not said anything.  She tends to agree with all this
    'mumbo jumbo' when it is bought to her attention.  I'm sure we will
    work something out.
    
    David.
    
    

    I thought it was a little bit odd at the time, but one of my friends
    had a "religious celebration of a wedding" a few months after her
    (first - this is my friend who married a much, much older man, her
    father's age, who died of a heart attack a few years alter - she has
    since remarried, to another older gentleman of about the same age as
    her father, that is to say, more than 30 years older than she is)
    civil marriage.  I think the "religious affirmation" ceremony was
    mostly at the insistence of her mother, who had always wanted to her to
    have a big church wedding, and to wear her grandmother's carefully
    preserved extremely elaborate veil and lace gown which had been in her
    family for generations (my friend is an only child, so she is the only
    one in our generation to get to take part in this family ritual of her
    family's).
    
    My husband and I thought it was a little bit odd, but it was a good
    time, and a very beautiful ceremony.  I guess it was more odd for being
    very strict far-right Christian than for not being the "actual" wedding
    ceremony - we haven't been to all that many Christian weddings anyhow,
    and this one was sort of odd in that since alcohol was forbidden, the
    "champagne toast" was with sparkling grape juice, for example (actually
    the stuff tastes pretty good, unless you were expecting it to taste
    like champagne - it is SWEET).  Also, all of my friend's cousins were
    there, which was interesting.  Even though we grew up together, I had
    never met them, because they are not allowed to associate with
    non-relatives who don't belong to their own church (much stricter and
    more limiting than my friend's denomination) - they turned out to be
    pretty straightlaced folks, as I had sort of expected.  At any rate,
    the ceremony itself was beautiful, and meant a great deal to my
    friend's family.  That was the important part.
    
    /Charlotte