Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    Jody,
    
    I highly recomment the book "Wishcraft", by Barbara Sher (Scher?).
    Whether you're faced with a career transition, or a personal
    transition, it is a tremendously helpful book.  It has helped me
    to identify strengths and weaknesses, and also to help put them
    in some sort of order.
    
    The book contains many exercises to help you identify what it is
    that works for YOU, and empowers you to make the choices, based
    on your needs, rather than trying to fit yourself into someone else's
    model.
    
    Think of this point as a new chapter which has been built upon the
    experience of the previous chapters.  Take the opportunity to really
    look at what you want, and go after it.  (As you said, no one is
    holding a gun to your head to attend various meetings or whathaveyou.)
    
    What does Jody want?  Easy question, complicated answer!
    
    Good luck,
    Judi
    

    You don't *have* to be accessible to others, whether acquaintances
    or friends.  As long as you are not rude, they are not likely to
    think badly of you.  For those you care about most, a brief statement
    that you're in over your head and are taking time to sort things
    out should be enough -- and you don't "owe" even that to most people!
    
    Later, when *you* are ready to build on an acquaintanceship, you
    can (if you wish) explain why you were so harried before.  If that
    acquaintance has become busy, don't take it personally.  Sometimes
    our timing is just off due to circumstances beyond our control.
    
    I have at times wanted to spend more time, or become closer friends,
    with someone who was busy, had a lot of friends, etc., and who did
    not feel the same desire or need to strengthen our relationship
    at that time.  I've learned to feel ok (most of the time) with that.
    I look elsewhere for what I need without severing contact with that
    person.
    
    Part of building your own self-esteem is learning to worry less
    about what others things of you.  When I was a littel girl my piano
    teacher wrote in my autograph book: "We wouldn't care so much what
    others think of us if we realized how seldom they do!"
    
    Hope this helps,
    Nancy
    

    
    I have become very selfish with my time and energy. Having been
    a single parent for 20 years, I have become a realist.  In the
    beginning I always thought that I would remarry so I kept a corner
    of my life open and now I have filled that corner. I've concluded
    that it's not going to happen so I have filled up my life and my
    time withe other things.
    
    There is still so much to do and so little time, but I feel my life
    is richer and fuller. There are people who comment about my "lack
    of time for things" but they only seem to remember me when it's
    convienient for them.  I don't sit around and wait anymore, my time
    is taken.

    
    	Hi Jody,
    
    	Being one who has contacted you "via mail", I did not get this
    perception at all. While others to whom I've sent things to were content
    to just ignore me, your response was timely, positive, and suggested
    a way to get to know you better, via accessing your entries in POETRY.
    
    	If someone seems to feel that you're "not accessable", well,
    they just dont know where to find you :') 
    
    	Joe Jas

    A coupla random thoughts:
    
    I don't think you need to apologize, especially profusely; from 
    what I know of you, you take care to let people know when 
    you ". . .can only stay 'til. . ."  It sounds to me like you are, 
    in part, exressing  regret at not being able to spend more time 
    with this or that person (and perhaps a tinge of guilt at having 
    "caused" this "regretful situation"?).  When you think about it, 
    though, isn't that regret a kind of compliment?. . ."I like you 
    enough to regret not having more time to spend with you now."
    
    The only other thing I can offer, as one whose felt this kind of
    thing, is that it sometimes helps me to remember lessons I learned
    as a guest of Uncle Sam and later, the State of Texas:
    
    "So little time, so much to do" is indeed a frustrating feeling,
    but, as a long-term proposition, it sure beats the hell out of 
    the reverse situation. . .
    
    Steve
    

    re: .0
    
    Boy, talk about cyclical recurrences!  Almost the same time this year
    and it's happening again...it helps that I recognized it this time, so
    I'm not quite as over-my-head as I was before.  STILL too many irons in
    the fire, but they're all such WORTHY irons it's hard to take any out.
    I'm learning how to say "nnnn...", wait, "nnnnn...", I can do this -
    hold on, "nnnnnnnno".  There!  I still need some practice though...
    
    I'm still busy tripping over myself apologizing to all the people and
    so forth that I'm connected with in various ways because I can't devote
    the time to them I feel they deserve...but I think they understand (Can I
    be eloquent and rushed at the same time? ;).
    
    -Jody