Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    Rollo May has two books, _Love_and_Will_ and _Power_and_???_
    (might be responsibility, now that I think about it) that center
    on the importance of power.  I know, it's that outdated love
    generation stuff, but it still works for me. 
    
    He goes so far as to state that without personal empowerment, a
    person cannot love. 
    
    So the exercise of authority over others, the power to make
    decisions that affect people beyond yourself, is merely an
    extension of the feeling that one controls one's own life and
    self.
    
    --bonnie 

    There were several discussions of power in Womannotes V1.
    
    301 - ZK seminar - women and power
    344 - power - how?
    380 - give yourself permission to keep power
    615 - we must redefine power
    744 - fem(inization) of power
    
    -Jody
    

    I've rarely had a problem with assertiveness in inter-
    personal relationships, but I've definitily had problems with
    "formal" power and responsibility.  This stems from (at least
    partly) an incident in high school where I was the editor-
    in-chief of the yearbook, and was wielding power without
    sufficient information (or concern for the needs of others)
    and...I ended up with a mutiny on my hands.  Since then I
    have been overly cautious about "formal" p&r, but I hope to
    learn how to handle it better.  Scary! 

    -- Linda 

I think most people don't handle p&r perfectly the first time (perhaps I'm just
trying to feel better about my own mistakes :-). Perhaps as people who value
relationships, women like use are more put-off when we hurt others, and less
likely to give p&r another whole-hearted shot. 
	Mez

Leslie here; my node is off the net for at least another week.  Argh!

    Power & Responsibility; great discussion!

    I've read an article a year or so ago that said that women (as a
    group) see power and responsibility as inextricably linked.  If a
    woman has power, she uses it to fulfill her responsibilities and/or
    to help others.
    
    Men (as a group) do not view the two as linked.  (Again, this is
    also a generalization which is not meant as finger pointing of *any*
    individuals.)  Men tend to enjoy the power they have by doing things
    that their power allows them to.
    
    A thought provoking article; I'll try to find it in my files next week.

RE: .0
> So, how 'bout other women? Did you take to p&r like a fish to water, or change
> a lot from it? How does it apply to situations that aren't formal and
> hierarchical? Any books or classes help?

    Rather than calling it power and responsibility, I call it
    leadership.  I tend to gravitate towards work situations that I can
    lead.  Call it a natural style of mine.  I love solving problems
    that are bigger than I can solve on my own, so I surround myself
    with individuals who want to work towards the same goals.  Of course
    the working relationship of the group needs nurturing and care, but
    when it works well, the things the group can accomplish is mind
    blowing!
    
    When I first began working (which century was that?!?), I often
    misjudged the working environment; either I had responsibility but
    no power, or I misread the goals of the individuals on the team.
    While these experieces were excellent lessons, I believe I'll never
    be perfect at it.  Its a process not a single achievement.
    
    One class I took which was very helpful when I was working across
    diverse organizations was a Negotiations Class.  The ability to
    steer solutions to a win-win conclusion is a reward for everyone.

RE:.3
>                                    This stems from (at least
>    partly) an incident in high school where I was the editor-
>    in-chief of the yearbook, and was wielding power without
>    sufficient information (or concern for the needs of others)
>    and...I ended up with a mutiny on my hands.  

    Oh Linda, thanks for entering this.  You mean I'm not the only one
    who botched her editor-in-chief position on the high school
    yearbook?  I too used too much power and didn't know how to include
    others well.  My sense of what was 'right' was too strong.  I
    produced a good quality book, which happens to have one page that
    doesn't seem to fit with the balance of the style.  What page is
    that?  The page my advisor forced me to accept from a member of my
    staff.  Crazy!  But I learned a lot which I've continued to apply.

RE.4

>I think most people don't handle p&r perfectly the first time (perhaps I'm just
>trying to feel better about my own mistakes :-). Perhaps as people who value
>relationships, women like use are more put-off when we hurt others, and less
>likely to give p&r another whole-hearted shot. 

    Absolutely agree.  We aren't perfect (all the time) ;-), but we
    bring valuable ideas and ideals to what we do.  Don't give up, learn
    how to become comfortable with your gift.

    Can't wait to be back on the net!
						-Leslie

    
    True power is usually assumed as ones right, not granted as if with
    permission.
    
    If you feel you need to ask and be granted permission to act,
    then you lack the essense of what power is; the personal cognizance
    that you *can* act, independently, without anyone's permission.

I'm talking about working with a group, taking responisibility for making
decisions, and actually making them. Making sure they happen. Feeling like I
have a say, like it matters, like I actually understand what's going on. And
doing good things with that.

I'm not interested in the kind of power where 'if I say it loud enough it will
happen'.  I think Robert's definition of power goes against the grain with most
women, and is, in fact, what I'm trying to avoid. In fact, that old definition
may be what keeps some women from assuming power. It's not what I'm looking
for, and it's not what I'm doing. Rugged individualism may work for an
individual, but not for a group.

	Mez

    Re: .8
    
    Robert's definition dealt with an integral part of power, not the
    compleat concept of power itself.  I think he's describing autonomy,
    which does have a place in a group environment.  Autonomy is one
    of the things I'm supposed to be working on; I'm too much of a 'team
    player' at times.  Autonomy is manifested in initiative.  I think
    coordinated initiative is a primary feature of a good team.
    
    I'm project leader for a course book.  I recently came to the heady
    realization that I didn't have to ask permission to make some minor
    changes.  I was *supposed* to make some changes.  If I thought that
    a chapter needed to have the headings and subheadings reworded,
    I could go ahead and do it.  If I thought that two sections needed
    to be switched, I didn't have to ask permission.  Making significant
    changes in the content of the course is beyond the scope of my
    responsibility, but I can do some tightening.
    
    The course book is actually a group project.  (Documentation people
    will find this weird, I'm sure.)  Various people in the group do
    research, write it up and submit the results to me.  I find the
    appropriate place in the book and merge in the material, trying
    to maintain the impression of 'one voice.'  One of the things I
    had to do was get the contributors to commit to submission deadlines.
    I didn't have to ask our supervisor if I could; I didn't have to
    ask the contributors if I could.  We had a meeting and they gave
    me their commitments.
    
    When you grant power, you have to implicitly grant permission to
    use that power.  Without that measure of autonomy, you've granted
    only an illusion of power.

    re: .8
    

    � I think Robert's definition of power goes against the grain with most
    � women, and is, in fact, what I'm trying to avoid. 
    
    Hmm - I may be seriously misinterpreting here, but it I think I
    hear echos of Bob's definition in your base note, Mez.  It seems
    to me that what Bob is saying is that the essence of "true" power
    is an internal thing - if one believes one is powerful, can think
    and act for oneself, one is, in fact, powerful.  The echo I thought
    I heard in .0 is in the following paragraph:
    
� One discovery is: I do _much_ better when I have p&r. It frees my mind. It
� allows me to consider changes. I didn't 'allow' myself to complain when I
� 'couldn't' do anything about it. Now that I 'know' I can, thoughts come, 
�  and so do actions.
    
    By enquoting the words "allow", "couldn't", and "know", I get the
    sense that one of the discoveries you made, Mez, was that you had
    the power all along but weren't aware of it.  As an aside, I find
    a lot of resonance here - at the beginning of my first assignment
    as a software implementation team member, I had great difficulty,
    because I "knew" I didn't have the power to carry out the tasks
    assigned by the project manager.  A very few years later, as a team
    leader/mgr. I found myself assigning the same kinds of tasks to
    my software implementation team members and working to convince
    them that they really *did* have that power and more.

    And a bit later:
    
� Another thought: The p&r was given. I didn't ask for it until I was told I
� could.
    
    It sounds like what was given was the knowledge that you had the
    power to ask.  Then too, you spoke (.8) of feeling empowered to
    act in places where you ". . .don't have formal p&r, or where formal
    p&r isn't observed."

    The one part of Bob's definition that throws me a bit is the
    notion of "permission":
    
    � If you feel you need to ask and be granted permission to act,
    � then you lack the essense of what power is; the personal cognizance
    � that you *can* act, independently, without anyone's permission.
    
    If the meaning is "One doesn't need someone else's permission to
    think and act (in general)" I'd agree; if the meaning is that one
    *never* needs permission to act (in any way, any time, etc.) I'd
    disagree somewhat.  Literally it may be true - one *can*, within
    physical limits, do what one chooses; however, if I were to, say,
    start sending every DEC document I can find to the Globe, I suspect
    I'd get a fast lesson in the power others have.
    
    Within the context of that first meaning, I've found that individual
    power and teamwork are not at all mutually exclusive.  I'm currently
    a member of a self-managing work group in which I consider all members
    to be quite powerful.  In truth, I doubt that the team would work
    at all if we didn't all have a strong sense of capability and
    empowerment.  Conversely, I doubt if a power-for-power's-sake 
    individual would last long on the team.

    � Any books or classes help? 
    
    DEC offer a course called "Positive Power and Influence" which I
    found to be immensely helpful.  I believe it's given through DME,
    although when I took it several years ago, the vendor was Leroy
    Malouf Associates.  It focused on "influence styles" that individual 
    contributors can use to get the cooperation from others over whom 
    they have no direct authority.
    
    Steve