| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 227.2 | Borrrrrrring! | KUNTRY::WOOD | | Tue Mar 10 1987 14:03 | 8 |
|
He/she is bored, either with you, the relationship or
his/her life in general!
(Hi, Kerry!)
Myra
|
| 227.5 | Don't let me be misunderstood! :^) | KUNTRY::WOOD | | Tue Mar 10 1987 16:08 | 12 |
|
Hi, Kerry --
I didn't understand what you were asking, I guess,
as I took it to mean "different interests = a change" from
what we are already doing. I didn't relate it to "different
= separate" interests. I, too, figured that everyone already
has different interests from their SO's...
Independent hobbies/interests are very important, I
think!
Myra
|
| 227.6 | | CSC32::WOLBACH | | Tue Mar 10 1987 17:48 | 17 |
|
The first thing that would go thru my mind? PANIC!! He's
bored...he wants out...this is "break it to me gently" time.
"We need to cultivate different interests" is vague...it im-
plies that something is wrong and the SO wants to fix it.
NOW-if he said ( come to think of it, he DID say this!) "Hey,
I'm going to take scuba diving lessons" (I don't go near water
unless it's coming from the shower spigot) I'd say "Great! Just
be careful."
I don't think couples have to share every single interest; I think
they should have recreational activities that they like to share.
But it's nice to do things apart occasionally, just for the space
to be "yourself" for a few hours...
|
| 227.8 | | STUBBI::B_REINKE | the fire and the rose are one | Tue Mar 10 1987 19:51 | 13 |
| Nancy has a good point - "we have to cultivate separate
interests" is often a code word for "I'm trying to find
a polite way to tell you that it's all over."
But two people can't be siamese twins - they'd strangle
each other if they tried.
A good relationship could be described in terms of a dance
step -
"apart, together, apart, together, apart, together, apart....."
|
| 227.9 | First thought? | NRLABS::TATISTCHEFF | | Wed Mar 11 1987 10:49 | 3 |
| Uh-oh, I'm smothering him.
Lee
|
| 227.10 | | ZEPPO::MAHLER | | Wed Mar 11 1987 15:42 | 9 |
|
Why are YOU internalizing all this? Lee?
Maybe HE is afraid of the intimacy? In which case
there is nothing you can do.
Michael
|
| 227.11 | For what it's worth... | RDGE00::LIDSTER | still hangin' in there... | Thu Mar 12 1987 12:31 | 11 |
|
If you have seperate interests (new or old) I believe you should
make the effort to be interested in your Opposite's interest. Then
you can have an experience *alone* but still share it with someone
else.
Too much of an isolated interest can cause a lot of resentment or
lack of understanding.
Steve
|