Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    
    If they're good friends, you'll probably have a good time. I've
    been going to parties on my own for years. I went to one a couple
    of years ago and ended up in a slightly different situation -
    every single person there but me had been divorced. Different.
    
    Just in case it would make any difference, I'm a Mr., as in
    
    						Mr. Trace

    Peggy, 
    I can appreciate your reluctance to go to the xmas do alone. some ideas:
    o  I find that at a big party, I tend to get separated from my
       my companion rather quickly. we have different people we want
       to talk to.  but i do end up spending the evening "by myself"
       whether i go alone or not.
    o  Have you considered taking a friend (male or female) who isn't
       a date?
    o  It might help if you confided about your (potential) discomfort
       to some of the people who will be there.  this would probably
       ease some of your tension and make others more aware of your
       feelings (possibly more helpful).
    o  Would you be happier not going at all? If so, you might arrange
       some other activity for the evening so that you don't have to
       sit home alone thinking about every one else partying.
    
    Hope this helps
    liz

    Don't worry about it. Just go and have a good time. I know it 
    might be easier said than done. When I first got divorced, here
    I was a grown man, and I felt extreamly out of place going
    into a bar or club alone. The trick is though, to just do it.
    I'm sure that if your with friends, you won't be, or feel, left
    out. Who knows, there might also be some interesting "single" 
    men around too!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Steve

    
    I have gone to many parties and functions alone for one reason or
    another.  There are advantages.  You can mingle with whoever you
    wish, without worrying whether or not your date feels left out.
    You can leave when you feel like it.  You can do whatever
    you want without worrying whether or not your date is having a good
    time.  Since you know many of the people and/or their spouses, think
    ahead of time of different conversations you may have.  (I tend
    to get tongue-tied).  I think you'll find yourself getting alot
    of interaction and you'll soon forget you went by yourself.
    
    Have fun!!!
    
    -nancy

    I ran into this (from the other gender's perspective, but I think
    there is little difference) over the past several years.  A company
    function wherein you (and a guest) are invited to attend a weekend
    away for meetings, awards, etc. 
    
    I've gone four times.  First time with soon-to-be ex.  Result: not a
    pleasant time.  Second time with fellow acquaintance employee in
    separate rooms. Result:  ok time, more or less.  Third time with
    not-quite-a-SO friend in same room.  Result:  nerves so bad I got
    si; not a very happy time.  Fourth time with no one.  Finally listened
    to a very good friend who said "forget worrying about having to
    bring someone and just go and have a good time".  Result:  spent
    the week-end with my friends and enjoyed myself; by far and away
    the most enjoyable of the trips.
    
    The point is that we feel compelled by either society or ourselves
    to be coupled.  And if we cave into that, well the results can be
    less than spectacular.
    
    It's funny how much pressure and askance looks and comments I got
    because I didn't take a guest.  One person even suggested it was
    "a waste to not take someone since the Company is paying".  And
    to top it off, last week (several months later) I got a call from
    the people in charge of closing the accounts on the trip and was
    asked who my guest was.  There was no record and they needed it
    to close out the books.  Funny silence when I said "I didn't invite
    one"!                                                              
    
    So go alone if you don't have a SO you want to share it with and
    enjoy yourself.
    
    Steve, unexpectantly long-winded!

    
    
    I have since found out that a number of the people who are going
    are not bringing anyone.  It will be more comfortable for everyone
    now.  I hope other's who didn't want to go alone will change their
    minds.  This is not a universal solution but it is nice to see that
    one does not have to do "couples" all of the time.
    
    _peggy
    

    I go alone to parties pretty regularly. I almost never bring my wife
    to 'DEC' parties. Even to my groups Christmas parties which are
    mostly couples. This happens for a very practicle reason. I love
    her and don't want to drag her were a) she doesn't want to go and
    b) will not enjoy herself.
    
    She knows I'll have a good time and doesn't stand in my way. She
    also doesn't make me go to parties with the people she works with.
    
    I never let the ratio of "couples" to "singles" bother me. That's
    not why I go to a party. I go to be with, talk to, etc with people
    I know and like and to meet new people. I can do that just as well
    by myself as with my wife. If others bring their SO it just means
    more people I get to meet.
    
    		Alfred

    RE: .7  (Alfred)
    
    But when I've gone to things alone that are mostly couples, I usually
    get bombarded with questions like "Where is x?"  "Are you and x
    getting along all right?"  This is usually followed by rumors that
    we are not.
    
    I used to do this a lot with my former SO, who was not a very outgoing
    person socially.  I went alone because I knew he would not enjoy
    himself, and I did want to go, so I would either go alone or with
    a friend to almost anything I wanted to go to.
    
    Elizabeth

    Overheard at lunch today:
    
    "One good thing about having small children is that your wife won't
    go even if you ask her..."
    
    
    The man who said it was a maturish-looking businessmen in all his
    business attire who had been speaking in stentorian tones about
    everyday business matters to two other workers.  He talked as if
    he were the only one in the small take-out/cafe.  He said this so
    boldly, never modulating his voice in the least, not making any
    attempt to make a joke of it, as if it were the most normal thing
    in the world, that it struck me as really funny.  
                              
    

    RE .9  prob'ly cause he knew his wife wouldn't overhear :-)