Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    There are a few questions I'd like to ask.  Are you married?  Have
    you had children?  DID YOU ASK YOUR DOCTOR if the hysterectomy was
    necessitated by the problem with the IUD or was it fibroids or anything
    else?  I, too, had a hysterectomy - although at age 38 and had three
    children and no intention of having any more.  As far as I'm concerned,
    the operation was well worth it.  I believe state of mind has a
    lot to do with recovery.  Ten days after surgery I attended a wedding
    (no dancing - but at least I was there) and 18 days after surgery
    I was at a New Year's party (up until 3 a.m.).  I was just pleased
    that the whole thing was over.
    
    Maybe the surgery was due to the doctor's incompetance - well, it's
    over and you don't want to sue - go on with your life.
    Maybe the surgery was NOT due to the doctor's incompetance - but
    it just happened - well, it's over and it's time to do on with your
    life.  You are NOT any less a female because you don't have your
    reproductive organs.  It happened.  It's over.  What is the purpose
    of dwelling on it?  Live and enjoy - and when you hear some women
    complain about "that time of the month" just smile to yourself knowing
    you no longer have to go through it.  YOU ARE STILL WOMAN!

Wow, major, scary surgery!

Are you still seeing this doctor?  Do you feel comfortable enough with him/her
to sit down and discuss your feelings about it?  Feeling angry is perfectly
appropriate, even if there isn't anything concrete or anyone to direct it
at.  Talking about it will help you to release it; it will also help you
put the question to rest.

    
							Terza

    
    I've read (and I don't *know* if it's true or what the statistics
    are) that hysterectomies and ceasarean sections are the two most
    unnecessary operations performed in the U.S.  That alone is enough
    to make a person wonder!
    
    Of course, it's true that a woman is just as much a woman after
    a hysterectomy.  (I wish I could wave a magic wand and get rid of
    "that time of the month" and birth control worries!)  But, pain
    levels are recoveries seem to be different with different people.
     I worked with a woman who was out of work for 9 months after a
    hysterectomy.  She apparently went through hell pain-wise.  Also,
    when I was in the hospital having my daughter I heard a woman down
    the hall screaming horribly for help.  I thought she was dying and
    when I asked the nurses cheerfully told me not to worry, the woman
    had just had a hysterectomy!
    
    Lorna
    

    You may never find the answer to your questions, and if you did,
    what would it change for you at this point in time?  Sometimes we
    must accept things which have happened in our lives, that have no
    rhyme nor reason, but that's the key acceptance.  The anger which
    you are feeling is most certainly justified, but you must know that
    unresolved anger can be nothing but destructive.  Do you best to
    work yourself to the best possible point of acceptance, and then
    LET GO OF IT and get on with your life, one day at a time.  You
    will undoubtedly feel psychologically free when you release the
    anger and reach the stage of acceptance, for your positive,
    non-destructive energies will be allowed to come back free flowing.
    
    When you have trouble dealing with pain and anger remember this,
    which someone once shared with me: 
    
    I AM GROWN, NOT OUT OF THE SALT, NOR OUT OF THE SOIL, BUT OUT
    OF THAT WHICH PAINS ME.
    
    

    Re: .1	The surgery was done six months before I remarried,
    and I have a daughter from my first marriage.  I had a temperature
    of 102 degrees for a month before the surgery was done, so recovery
    time was alot longer than the norm.  My husband and I did want
    children.  We have thought about adoption, but find the cost to
    be too much.  In my case, at my six week check-up, the dr. said
    I would be myself in a month.  Well, a month went by and I wasn't
    myself, and because I believed in him thought there must be something
    terribly wrong with me that I was still having major problems, like
    the up and down mood swings and the hot flashes.  Whew!
    
    
    .2	Major, scary surgery.  yes, for me it was.  I went through a
    period of time afterward thinking, well, if that part of me go so
    ill that it had to be removed, what else might happen (nothing did
    happen).  I have given it serious consideration on writing or going
    to see the doctor and talking about it.  I feel there is still alot
    of anger surrounding the surgery.  I have had things happen in my
    life where there is no answer, but I can go on with my life and
    not let it get to me like this issue has.  
    
    .3	From everything I have read about hysterectomies, I believe
    it is either number one or two for surgery.  It really makes one
    wonder!  (I was out of work close to four months, and then came
    back half days.) 
    
    .4  Yes, I find that the unresolved anger is destructive, and some
    of that anger is misplaced.  That's why I'm trying to find a way
    to let go of it and also to get my non-destructive energies to come
    back.  If I did definately know it could have been caught in November,
    then I'd know who to get mad at or at least direct the anger into
    another channel, if it was just something that happened, then I'd know 
    that too and probably find it easier to let go.  
    
    I think it's up to me now to decide on what path I'll take.  Thank
    you all very much for sharing with me - it all has helped very much!
    
    deb

    Side note:  If you'll be a full-time employee when you're recovered,
    DEC benefits DO cover adoption costs (I'm not quite sure how much
    of the costs).  And of course, if your new husband works, his company
    may cover some of the costs instead.
    
    It sounds to me like you know how to recover.  It also sounds like
    you've got a medical question, that only your doctor, or another
    doctor you can trust, will be able to help you on.  Good luck.
    	Mez

    <--(.5)   ...  In my case, at my six week check-up, the dr. said
    I would be myself in a month.  Well, a month went by and I wasn't
    myself, and because I believed in him thought there must be something
    terribly wrong with me that I was still having major problems, like
    the up and down mood swings and the hot flashes.  Whew!

    =============================================================
    
    "Hot flashes"??  Didn't he prescribe hormone replacement therapy?
    He damnsure ought to have done.
    
    					=maggie             
    

    Re: "and because I believed in him....."  Have you considered a
    second opion - even now, after all this time?  Your records belong
    to you.  Believing in him reminds me of when I suffered for over
    seven months because I was going to a doctor who was considered
    so good in his field that other doctors sent their wives to him.
     As I continued to suffer, my husband couldn't understand why I
    didn't change or at least get a second opinion.  But HOW COULD I
    WHEN I BELIEVED IN HIM?  After seven months I finally went to another
    doctor who was shocked to find out that I didn't even know what
    a fibroid tumor was, much less that I had it.  I just wasn't told
    by this wonderful doctor I had such faith in.
    
    Moral of story:  if you don't get satisfactory answers, change to
    someone else who can/will treat you as an intelligent human being
    .

    I assume you know what kind of IUD you had at the time.  Have
    you done any research on it to see if other women had similar problems?
    If other users of your type of IUD have suffered this, then you
    may be able to forgive your doctor more easily.  Keep in mind that
    most types of IUD's haven't found to be as safe as was thought a
    few years ago.
    
    	-Ellen

    My immediate suggestion is to move on with life. Tommorow is more
    important than yesterday...you get to shape it.
    
    You've decided to not take any action and if you find out the reason
    or cause it will not change your current situation. We all know
    that hindsight is 20/20. 
    
    If however you do change your mind and decide to do anything in
    the way of legal procedures..you might start with the IUD implant.
    
    Most Gynocoligists will not recommend IUD's especially for woman
    who have not yet had children or have completed their families due
    to risks and long term side effects. Mine quite bluntly refused
    to implant one and suggested my going to another doctor if I persisted.
    I counted on his expertise and figured he knew something I didn't.
    
    Ann

    Yes, the dr. put me on Estrogen and I plan on taking it until the
    end of my life (besides eliminating the hot flashes, I take it keep
    from getting thin bones, and it's also good for the heart).  I am
    still trying to find the correct dosage for me.  I probably will
    also see a fourth doctor as the first three have given me three
    different opinions (hormone therapy).  I have learned not to place
    so much trust into someone else.  I have to say that this experience 
    was certainly an eye opener for me - I have learned so much about
    myself.  I know there are many other women who are suing
    the company that makes the IUD, so I know I'm not the only one who
    is angry and has been hurt.  
    
    deb

    Want to put another P.S. in to say that I have taken a step closer
    in finding my answer and for me it has brought immense relief as
    I have been blaming myself for the surgery.  I have just learned
    (an hour ago), that the cause of the infection was the IUD.  This
    makes me mad, but at least now I feel I am able to get on with my
    life.  I'm sorry if this is hard to understand, I have alot to
    think about - but now I know things are going to work out for me.
    
    deb

    I think you have great courage and I'm glad you finally found an answer!
    
    What kind of IUD was it?  Or was it the length of time you had it, or?
    I ask, because I have an IUD (Copper-7).
    
    
    							Terza
    
    

    Dear Terza,
    
    Thank you very much for telling me you think I have great courage!
    I finally came to that conclusion last night.  There are many feelings
    surrounding what has happened to me, but feel at this point in time
    that someone is going to hear about it.  I hope I've worded this
    correctly.
    
    It was a CU-7 IUD.  From the start there was heavy bleeding and
    cramping, and when I spoke to the doctor about it was told it was
    the way my body was, and like I said before I thought he should
    know being in that field, so I put up with it.  According to the
    pathology report I received from the hospital, this infection was
    due to the IUD, and that it was a chronic infection meaning that
    it didn't just all of a sudden happen.  I had the IUD for two years
    at the very most.  It also says on the report "germinal inclusion
    cysts and hemorrhagic cysts of ovaries consistent with endometriosis".
    I never knew I had that (endometriosis).  
    
    I have a Physician's Desk Reference here if you would like to know
    what it says as far as reasons for taking it out.  
    
    deb

    For a long time, this country (and probably most others) has had
    doctor worship.  My husband graduated from veterinary school, and
    where he went there were lots of medical students as well.  Let
    me tell you - I do not trust any doctor completely.  Maybe they
    became competent doctors later (experience has a lot to do with
    it) but still, I would always go for a second (or third) opinion
    and I don't worship doctors!
    

    When thinking about "Doctor Worship", you have to remember also
    that in every graduating class, there *had* to be the "doctor" that
    graduated at the BOTTOM of his class!
    
    CMac
    

    RE: -1
    
    In fact, 50% of all Doctors graduated in the bottom half of their
    med school class :^)
    
    Bob