Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    That had to've made your day <smile>.
    
    Best I've been able to do is get a mixed reaction of shock and pleasure
    when I hold the door open for some man.  And, interestingly enough,
    shock+pleasure is almost always the mixture too, very few negatives.
    Gratifying.  (I charitably presume that the shock component is due
    to someone actually being polite to a stranger <grin>)
    
    					=maggie

  <--(.0,.1)--(I find this difficult to understand, generally people
  in the UK are very polite. People of either sex will hold open
  doors, say 'excuse me' at appropriate points etc...
  However when they get behind the wheel of a car, horns sprout
  from the head, pointed tails appear and the car becomes a weapon...
  
  Dave.
  

    
    Well, as a door-holder for as long as I can remember, I have seen
    other reactions which surprise me.
    
    One is the woman who waits for the door to be opened by the next
    man, stranger-or-not.
    
    Another is the woman who says, angrily:"I can get it!"  I can't remember 
    another man getting angry.
    
    It would be nice if the first person to the door held it, and the
    second would just drop a "Thank you", regardless of the sex of the
    holder, or the enterer, for that matter.
    
    There shouldn't be anything misconstrued about being courteous.
    
    I have shown my children, both daughters and son, to do this when
    the time comes, especially for very small children and older folks.
    
    Lee 

    Long, long ago, as I was leaving a building, I waited and held
    the door open for a man coming in.  Since he was coming up the
    outside stairs, watching his feet, he didn't see immediately
    who was holding the door for him, just that it was being held
    open.  He lifted his face, smiling, to thank the door-holder.
    The smile faded when he realized it was a woman.
    
    Why?  I think it was because I'd just pulled the argument, "Well,
    if they want us to hold doors for 'em...", out from underneath
    him.
    
    No, I haven't seen that reaction since.  Things are better.
    
    							Ann B.

    I was looking for a note that might be a correlary to 77. Someplace
    to put the little victories (or even the big ones). For instance,
    I saw a great commercial the other day (my favorite indicator of
    American pop culture). It was for MCI, and it showed two tanned,
    muscular bicyclers competeing. One was obviously MCI (the one slightly
    out in front), I believe the other was supposed to be AT&T. I'm
    not sure because I kept staring at the bicyclers. Yes indeed, they
    were women. But not a thing stereotypical about them. Plus the ad
    didn't make a big deal of it, either.

    As for me I am (try to be anyway!) as courteous to a male as
    to a female.  I hold doors for either sex and I especially try
    to help the older persons.  As yet It has not cost me a thing
    to be nice.. If some one were offended by my holding a door
    open I would consider that person to be rude, but that does 
    not make me rude in return.
    
    I have not attempted (nor plan to) hold a chair out for a man
    in a restraunt.  I usually do not for a woman either.  In most
    places that do not have a mater dei the person that I am with
    usually seats themselves before I can try and I would not hurry
    to do something to embarrass the person that I am with.
    
    Manners and feelings should dictate the action and I think
    a person can be comfortable with another person if they just
    act natural..do not be a bore, rather yourself.
    
    my feelings ($.02 worth) to be sure!

    re: .6
    
    mater dei = mother of god
    
    I think you meant maitre d' ?? (short for maitre d'hotel = master
    of the hotel)
    
    Ms. Manners :-)
    

    
    	I have always held the door for another person regardless
    	of sex, so far have only had one that I can remember that
    	got upset I held the door for her. My reaction, just smile
    	and say "have a nice day" and walk away. Funny part was I
    	again held the door for this person and that time I did
    	get a thank you with a smile. When a woman holds a door for
    	me, I smile and thank her, the same I would do for another
    	man. Manners is manners the way I look at it.

    Saw a Mr. Goodwrench ad in _Boston_ magazine, and it gave me a pleasant
    start.  The picture depicted a bunch of earnest-looking young men
    in (I suppose) a "Mr. Goodwrench class" listening to the instructor
    and I thought "well that's typical"--until I focused on the class
    instructor.  Who was a woman.
    
    Marcia