Conference yukon::christian_v7

Hi Greg,

Could you give him the responsibility for pre-practice devotions or something?

People like that are hard to deal with.  Any good to take him on one side 
(whichever is easiest;-), and ask him if he has a specific problem to 
overcome, as his tardiness is a hindrance to the whole section...  
Sometimes the embarrassment of realising so abruptly just that he *is* 
holding back the group can make someoeni pull himself together.

If he's persistent and uncooperative, I would guess that suspension is the 
next step...

						God bless
							Andrew

    re: .0  Don't assume that the tardiness is because of his laziness, or
    whatever.  Man is a complex organism and sometimes there are influences
    that we are unaware of.  Some people try to do too much for the Lord,
    and they are incapable of pulling the load.  I had an assistant Pastor
    that had this problem: "No", was not in his vocabulary.  The telephone
    rings 15 mins. before time to leave.  Woman's husband did this and that
    and the kids were doing this and on and on - could he come by this
    afternoon, but right now, could he pray for her?  He showed up late and
    I suggested he get an alarm clock.  Three days later, his wife took me
    aside and gently explained the problem.  Which, is what you must do,
    gently and lovingly call him aside and tell him the problem, without
    judgement of what his problem maybe.
    
    Daryl

    
    Sorry to say, but I am like that man you mention.  Chances are it has
    been a problem in his life for a long time.  I am not sure about the
    root cause of it, but it seems like I have good intentions to make it
    on time, but I have trouble estimating the amount of time things will
    take.  I always try to fit too much into the amount of time I have 
    and then I am running behind.
    
    If it truly is a problem for your musical group, I think it would be
    a good idea to take him aside in private and mention that it is truly
    disruptive to the others.  Perhaps then he'll realize that it is
    effecting others and that he either has to plan to be early by so many
    minutes (so perhaps he will then get there in time) or give up his
    part in that ministry.  
    
    I doubt he even realizes that it upsets others, and I am sure he
    doesn't constantly do it on purpose. Try praying for him, because
    I am sure, he is not too happy about always being late and constantly
    rushing to try to make it on time.  You could also ask him, if he 
    wants you to help by calling him so many minutes before rehearsal to
    make sure he is running on schedule.  That's a hassle for you, but 
    if he isn't offended by it, it may work.
    

    I agree with .3, as it's a particular problem in our church. Here on
    the Cote d'Azur, there is a Latin attitude that says timekeeping is
    unimportant, and everything tends to start late.  Public concerts often
    start up to half an hour late.
    
    We have to be prepared to take firm corrective action in the church
    from time to time. Colossians 3:16 reminds us that the church must
    "admonish" as well as teach etc. We must not shrink from applying
    corrective action in the church, since discipline is one of the
    Christ-like qualities required of both the church and its people. But
    then we mustn't rush into applying strong discipline when a gentle chat
    will do.  Ain't it tough?  And it must all look so easy to God!  To Him
    be the glory!
    
    Richard.

Punctuality and leisure are also part of ones temperament, as well as culture.
To some, the appointed time is the time to get ready to go.  And it does
irritate the Phileas Phoggs of the world (Around the World in 80 Days).
After all, if you had an appointment with God on Tuesday at 11 am on
the 37th floor of the Empire State Building, would you be late?

However, that's my temperament and other people tick differently.
I think there is wise counsel here to speak to him through your love
and not through your irritation (which I know is the irritation).
The jokes probably haven't been unnoticed, by the way, unless the
person is really dense.  They may only serve to underscore a feeling
of inadequacy and feeling unwanted which will only make him later than
he is now (because "they don't really want or need me").  Whereas, a
friend opening up in love (and that's vulnerability, I know) can speak
not only to the issue of tardiness, but perhaps also to an underlying
issue.

Mark

Galatians 6:1  Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are
spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself,
lest thou also be tempted.
  2  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.