| Went searching around, and I think it's time to revive this string, or
maybe just use it for those of us who are the "meat" in Sandwhich
issues. (Raising our own kids and parental units becoming stepkids)
My best friend is flying in the end of March to see what she needs to
do to get her mom straightened out again. Her brother and SIL have
taken all her pills away, because "she is an addict if she needs a pill
to sleep!" Dessie just lost her husband of almost 57 years in August,
and was just begining to really grieve last month when the two kids
with the addiction issues came in and bagged up ALL of her pills and
left her with a bottle of Melatonin to try for sleeping. Guess they
figure tears aren't healthy or something, I don't know, but the
Melatonin is not working as advertised and Dessie has not been
sleeping.
Dessie is 77, like my mom, and is not in the greatest health anyway.
She has had surgery (twice) for brain tumors, has a pacemaker, and has
not been eating well. Guess I can be glad that C and D at least
arranged for meals on wheels to make sure she gets something hot each
day. Yes she is a bit spacey, but she has been spacey since we were
15, she had her first Mengioma surgery and was told she had 2 years to
live. She gave up cooking shortly before the tumor was diagnosed,
apparently losing those bits when the tumor was pressuring the cooking
and kid-raising centers of her head.
(Background information. C & D are members of some sort of EST
group, and mark down everytime they have a drink on a calendar to make
sure they don't have more than 6 in a month. ) Nothing against these
life training programs, but I believe something is seriously wrong with
people who are that anal. Who can decide that a mom's need for
nerve pills when she is alone for the FIRST time in her life is
addictive behavior is a bit bizzare.
I know Tamara and I are both looking for hints on how to handle this.
since C&D live here in town, they do feel their words on care for mom
should be the final ones. While I am friends, I am not "family" to C&D
although Tamara and I are sisters by choice, and I do call her mom at
least once/week to make sure she is still doing OK and to let her vent
her grief at someone who knows grieving is healthy and part of life.
neg
meg
|
| I agree with Jacqui - accompanying your mom to the doctor and being
able to discuss her health situation with him is very useful. My MIL has been
having problems, going downhill, for several years. My wife and her brothers
have gotten involved with talking to her doctor(s), and even checking with her
pharmacist to determine whether medication is being re-ordered at an expected
rate.
My wife found that her mother didn't always hear or "process" what the
doctor told her. She tended to "do her own thing" regarding the use of the
various optional medications she had. She also self-diagnoses and, although
she had a scientific education and taught Biology for years, she now comes to
the strangest conclusions about her bodily functions.
Taking medication away from ones parent without talking with her doctor
is just as bad as prescribing or substitution of your pet medication.
One more thing...a friend took my MIL to a doctor who is a geriatrics
specialist, and he has been a great help for the situation, as he brings an
understanding of the psychology and physiology of elders to bear, as well as
his knowledge of general medicine.
Dick
|
| Dick and Jacui,
When Tamara gets out maybe we can do some things. C&D have changed her
physician to one they feel comfortable with (IE they can have extra
input on) I can't realistically move Dessie to another Dr, but Tamara
can, if I can get my mom's doc to recommend a male gerontologist. (Did
I mention that Dessie is also deathly against female professionals
outside of traditional fields?) Raising the feminist standard while
trying to get help is not worth it in this case.
meg
|