Conference thebay::joyoflex

    A couple of years back a neighbor of mine was called into his
    boss's office and told, "Frank, I've got some good news for you. 
    You're going to get a chance to start that fishing tackle shop
    you've always talked about opening after you retire."
    
    --bonnie

     Also some years back, I was around when a manager left a note on an
     individual's desk... or was it their chair?  I don't know what the
     note said but the act of leaving it spoke volumes.

     In my case it would have to be on my chair. If it were left on my
     desk I wouldn't find it for months. Maybe years!!! ;^)

             Mike

	What I like are the euphemisms surrounding getting the sack --
	"let go," "redeployed," "made redundant," etc.  I got a real kick
	out of "involuntary downsizing," which was used in the memo that
	went around about DEC's layoffs.  Very creative -- Orwell 
	would've loved it.

		-- Cliff

    A recent New Yorker cartoon titled "DELEGATION DURING A RECESSION"
    showed the boss telling a staffer, "You're fired.  Pass it on."

  Is this note limited to firings or open to any break-it-to-them-gently 
  humor?  Because there's the old joke about the drill sergeant who is
  told that the parents of one of his recruits have died and that the 
  sergeant has to break the news.

  He calls the troops to attention and says, "All right, people." (That's
  the way drill sergeants talk.)  "Every one who has two living
  parents take one step forward.  Not so fast there, Smith..."

  JP

    Manger at ITT "You did a fine job on that contract, Bob.  I don't know
    how we'd ever manage without you but, come Monday, we're gonna have to 
    try."

    G'day,
    
     Downunder, its often referred to as being awarded a DCM.
    
    
    
    Don't Come, Monday.
    
    
    derek

    	"Joe, here's your new company phonebook. Please note that your
    	name is not in it."
    
	-- Glinch

From "A Litany of Euphemisms for 'You're Fired,'" a list of terms used by 
corporations when firing employees, in the November 1990 issue of *Executive 
Recruiter News*, a newsletter for executive search consultants published in 
Fitzwilliam New Hampshire.

Reprinted in the March, 1991 *Harper's* - reprinted here without permission.

Outplacement
Downsizing
Right-sizing
Force reduction
Work force adjustment
indefinite idling
Redundancy elimination
Involuntary separation
Skill-mix adjustment
Work force imbvalance correction
Chemistry change
Negotiated departure
Redeployment
Destaffing
Dehiring
Degrowing
dismisaal
Axed
Canned
Let go
Deselected
Decruited
Excessed
Transitioned
Vocational relocation
Release
Selective separation
Coerced transition
Executive culling
Personnel Surplus reduction
Career assessment and reemployment
Fumigation

    Fumigation?????
    
    Now that's cruel.
    
    --bonnie

    My ex-boss used to like this policy:

    
    "Fired with enthusiasm or fired with enthusiasm"
    
    
    
    

>    My ex-boss used to like this policy:
        ^^ 	
    
>    "Fired with enthusiasm or fired with enthusiasm"
    
    
    
    

    I heard that some people have had their accounts "de-usered."
    
    --bonnie

>    I heard that some people have had their accounts "de-usered."

Probably DISUSERed.  DISUSER is a VMS AUTHORIZE flag that "prevents the
user from logging in."

    Probably started as DISUSERed, but the manager type who was
    telling me about it definitely said "de-usered."
    
    Actually that makes it even funnier.  Couldn't even get the jargon
    right . . . 
    
    --bonnie
    

    I know some guys in Miami who can "dis-member" him, though.

    
    Apparently, at IBM firing is known as MIA, for management-initiated
    attrition.