| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 195.1 | Some others | LYMPH::LAMBERT | Sam Lambert | Fri May 30 1986 14:24 | 24 |
|
If you're travelling along at the speed of light in your car
and you turn on the lights, what happens?
I have a friend who's a radio dj. When you're talking to him
and you walk under a bridge his voice fades out.
I got a postcard from a friend the other day with a picture of
the earth on it. It read, "Wish you were here."
(And the all time classic...)
I wouldn't want everything in the world... Where would I put it?
And then I'd have to paint it!
-- Sam
|
| 195.2 | one more | KUDZU::SESSIONS | Captain Video | Fri May 30 1986 14:57 | 7 |
|
I have a map of the world.
It's actual size.
|
| 195.3 | "I've got a map of the world -- full size!" | ROXIE::OSMAN | and silos to fill before I feep, and silos to fill before I feep | Mon Jun 02 1986 10:32 | 12 |
| RE: the "map of the world" joke
I heard a continuation, but I don't know if Steve said it
or not:
Oh, you DO ? Can I see it ? Where do you live ?
E7 !
/eric
|
| 195.4 | More | NATASH::MEDEIROS | God | Fri Jun 06 1986 16:46 | 58 |
| Also:
I saw a sign in a diner recently that read, "Breakfast
Any Time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance!
and...
I have a dog named "Stay." He gets very confused when I
call him.
and...
What's another word for "thesaurus"?
and...
I got into a speed-reading accident the other day. I hit
a bookmark.
and...
The other day I put some instant coffee into a microwave
oven... it went backward in time.
and the classic:
Women. Can't live with 'em...
....can't shoot 'em!
|
| 195.5 | | LYMPH::LAMBERT | Sam Lambert | Fri Jun 06 1986 17:22 | 5 |
| I bought some "instant water" the other day...
Only problem was, I couldn't figure out what to add to it!
|
| 195.6 | Posted outside my office | HARDY::KENAH | On a Blue Jaunte | Thu Jun 12 1986 16:47 | 5 |
| I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died.
|
| 195.7 | Mine. Wright-ish? | CLT::MALER | The Color Red | Fri Jun 13 1986 13:13 | 5 |
| My ears were ringing the other day, so I answered them.
But once I picked them up, I didn't know where to put them.
|
| 195.8 | | STAR::JAMES | | Fri Jun 13 1986 14:47 | 11 |
| more...
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it...
Somebody broke into my apartment last night and replaced everything
with a perfect duplicate. When I told my room-mate, he asked, "Who
are you?"
I live with a bunch of crazy people. The man upstairs makes fiberglass
fur balls for ceramic cats...
|
| 195.9 | Steve and I? | NACMTW::DALY | | Fri Jul 25 1986 12:51 | 39 |
| My friend is one of the richest men in the world. He owns the erasers
to all of the miniature golf pencils ever made.
Never trust a literal-thinking stockbroker, or at least don't call
him, or at least don't hang up.
I bought a dehumidifier and a vaporizer the other day; I put them
in the same room and let them fight it out.
My girlfriend says I have an inferiority complex. She found a free
association test in a magazine to try on me. She said "jump," I
said "How high?" She said "run," I said "how far?" She said "sex,"
I said "how much?"
You know that feeling you get when you are tipping your chair back
and you almost go crashing back on the floor but you just catch
yourself? I feel like that all the time.
My cousin works for the Cambpell's soup company. He makes R's.
I once asked Rodney Dangerfield, "What's the most important thing
to remember when you are tellin--" "TIMING," he said.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?----
-a fish.
KD
|
| 195.10 | no, not another lightbulb joke!?! | DELNI::GOLDSTEIN | hand me the pliers! | Fri Jul 25 1986 17:26 | 8 |
| Please, that last joke in .9 went around on BJOD a few years ago:
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly
colored machine tools.
(I'm still laughing, four years later.)
|