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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:	The Joy of Lex
Notice:	A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:	THEBAY::SYSTEM

Created:	Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:	Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	1192
Total number of notes:	42769

156.0. "Signs by Illiterates, for..." by NOD::STEVENSON () Thu Mar 06 1986 10:39

How about a collection of signs, actually seen here in "civilization,"
that appear to have been composed in the Frontal Lobotomy Recovery Room.

I'll start with two favorites:


From your basic mall quasi-jewelry shop:

                     EARS PIERCED HERE

                       WHILE YOU WAIT

        [ Uh, Gee, I have some drapes to pick up at Sears. . . . Can I
              pick 'em up in a half-hour? ]


And on the automatic doors into a supermarket:

                      NO DOGS ALLOWED
                     
                  (EXCEPT SEEING-EYE DOGS)
                  
         [ Phew!  It's okay, Rinty!  Go on in, boy. ]

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
156.1	...and it's really really true...	KBOV05::TINIUS	Kaufbeuren, Germany	`Thu Mar 06 1986 13:38`	11
	In the Rike's dept store in Columbus, Ohio, where my wife had her ears pierced about 15 years ago, they gave each piercee a first set of earrings which were simple, tiny, steel spheres. You can probably guess this one: Have Your Ears Pierced By a Licensed Doctor With Stainless Steel Balls Stephen
156.2		TLE::WINALSKI	Paul S. Winalski	`Fri Mar 07 1986 20:48`	7
	Here's one in front of a VAXstation in the ZKO1-1 machine room: CAUTION Do not touch the mouse's balls --PSW
156.3	Riddle	REX::MINOW	Martin Minow -- DECtalk Engineering	`Fri Jul 18 1986 21:37`	6
	Why do mice have such small balls? Because none of them dance very well.
156.4	and another of similar ilk	ROXIE::OSMAN	and silos to fill before I feep, and silos to fill before I feep	`Mon Jul 21 1986 15:30`	38
	Why do firemen have larger balls than policemen ? Because they sell more tickets. /Eric
156.5	I couldn't resist it....	INCH::PREECE	Just a shallow hole, Moriarty.	`Tue Feb 28 1989 10:57`	11
	"Rugby is a game played by men with odd-shaped balls." (To avoid the multi-national confusion: - in the UK we tend to think of a football as round, and rugby is the generic term for the two games we play with a ball with pointy ends (?) Asbestos underwear on, ready for flames.) IP
156.6	UMASS CREW!!!!!!!	SAGE::GREER		`Thu Mar 09 1989 19:51`	6
	When I was on the Crew team at school the common T-shirt found at Regattas was: CREW: Eight Big Men and their tiny Cox! It was funny then!