Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    In my opinion, a tease is a woman who uses her sexuality to bring a man
    to a state of arousal, and then cuts him off with the intention of
    causing him pain and aggravation.  
    
    A woman who is not a tease is one who decides to stop the process,
    because she doesn't want to go further.
    
    How can one tell the difference?  Sometimes with great difficulty. 
    Mostly, I would be able to decide based on a willingness of the woman
    to explain, either before, or after, what it is she really wants out of
    the relationship, sex-wise.
    
    What I have done in the past, when confronted by a tease, was to make
    my exit as soon as possible, and delete that woman from my list of
    people whom I want to associate with.
    
    When involved with a woman who was not a tease, I would decide what to
    do next based on our discussions of what each wanted out of the
    relationship.  If there was something that I wanted in it, I would
    stick around, and hope maybe that as the relationship matured, the
    sexual aspects would play a bigger part.  Otherwise, I would break it
    off, although I would try to do it in as friendly a manner as possible.
    
    Of course all this is pretty academic nowadays.  My wife would
    undoubtedly have something to say, as well.
    
    Mike
    
                                               

    
    	how would you consider a woman who was naturally arousing
    	as opposed to teasing?
    	would she be equally damned as a tease?
    
    	

    A woman who is naturally arousing would not be considered a tease. She
    is just a very pretty woman to admire and thats that. Someone who is
    coming on to you, giving you positive/sexual messages. Big differnce.
    There are many women who arouse me and I know that they are just here
    doing a job as I am. I don't come on to them and vise versa. If we have
    a moment to talk, in friendship, fine. Other than that, so far none
    of them have asked me out for a beer or a bed and breakfast..... Oh
    Well.... Always the brides maid, never the bride. Boo Hoo!:)
    

    
    	ergo, the same for a man who extends coffee invites???

    I wasn't asking you to go to bed. Just a friendly coffie. Think that
    eveyone I by a coffie for I am gonna say, "lets go to that
    No-Tell-Motel!" My-My-My! Have we some growing up to do. You women! All
    you think of is one thing!:) Guided by your loins? Eh? :) All you want
    me for is my body! You lusting men with your testro of fire! Screw
    anything with a hole in it or on it. Geeze! :)
    
    

    
    A "tease" is someone who wants massage their ego by having you 
    want them, but they don't really want you.  I used to find the
    "sweet things" running around in short-shorts and tank tops in
    the summertime would draw my attention, now I just find them 
    mildly annoying.  Maybe I'm maturing, or maybe I'm just getting
    old (;^)).
    
    Someone who is just naturally attractive is not (IMHO) a "tease"
    unless they are deliberately using that attractiveness.  (Like
    a certain German Ice scater who shall remain nameless).  I used
    to work with a woman who every time she walked by my door for
    some reason would knock my chemistry all out of kilter (it got
    hard on my knuckles being chewed on all the time like that ;^)).  
    But she was not doing anything deliberate, and I was able to 
    recognize  my response as just "primitave chemistry" and let it 
    go at that.
    
    fred();

	The tease obviously does not want sex (as such) or love or affection or
even a lasting friendly relationship. The only one of these she stands a chance
of getting is sex she *doesn't* want. She is enjoying demonstrating her power
using sexual means.

	Does this sound a bit like rape?  It was meant to!

	Abrasions of the vagina, teeth marks on the penis, torn clothing, can
all be dealt with as ordinary assault. What we are talking about with rape and
teasing is the psychological damage of the misuse of power.

	When a man goes back to a woman's appartment "for a cup of coffee" he
is not asking to be given months or years of mental torment. We are told in
"Effective Presentations" that only 30% of communication is verbal, and most of
the rest is body language. Should he have paid attention to the 30% or the 70%?
Might she still like him even though he (did/didn't) have sex with her? If he
followed the 70% might he get a rape charge sometime soon?

	We will have sexual equality when I see a teaser get 5 years in prison
in spite of the fact that the man seemed to have consented to "just cuddling"
right up to the last moment.

	Dave (who has been happily married for over 20 years, wouldn't
recognise a "teaser" if she jumped out of a bush and waved bare breasts at him,
and has at least 70% of his tongue in his cheek).

    .8 Who woke you up?? :)
    

    
    what a laugh.
    
    the rules say a man is allowed to ask once, quietly, and to 
    persist thereafter is harassment.
    
    men are just being careful and waiting for more positive reinforcement
    before proceeding on what could be a dangerous course.

    re:.10
    
    Unless they're asking for sex.
    
    In that case, the second ask is sexual assault or attempted rape.
    
    Being a studly myn these days is a mighty risky occupation ...

    Yes, but real men get off on risk.
    
    "I asked her out then I asked for sex," he bragged to his buddies over
    a cold brew after bungy jumping over Niagara falls.
    
    "No way!  You lie!" his buddies shot back in disbelief.
    
    A playful argument ensure during which 14 clips of 10mm rounds were
    expended with nothing more serious than a few fleshwounds and two lost
    limbs.  Not a drop of golden nectar was wasted.  They continued their
    jocular encounter in the emergency ward.  Macho men that they are.

    Yeah, real men don't flirt with death.  We just flirt.
    
    Ray

    re .13
    
    Flirting with more than one woman at a time is flirting with Death,
    anyway...
    
    :-(
    
    q
    

    
    re .13 .14
    
    Flirting with a woman who happens to be married can also be 
    hazzardous to your health. ;^).
    
    fred();

    What a bunch of pusilanimous wretches.  Where's your love of ADVENTURE?
    
    Gar, me mateys,
    Ray

>    What does "real man" mean,  non-plastic???
    
    Men like oneself, assuming one is male.
    
    Biting off beer caps,
    Ray

    Real Men is a semi-fringe group led by a man named Jackson Katz.
    
    They are discussed in various notes here.
    
    Notes> Dir/Title=REAL   should turn up some notes ...

    re: .last few
    
    	Any more, when you ask a womyn out, it's kinda like dancing around
    a rattle snake.  Dance slow and everything is ok; Dance fast and you're
    going to get bit and die.
    
    Paul