Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    When I looked into divorce (should have gotten it then, it was a lot
    cheaper!) I was told that since my husband and I were married for
    seventeen of his twenty years armed service, I would be entitled to
    somewhat less than half his pension.  It's not easy to figure how much
    that would be since no one knows how long s/he will live, and the
    military pension is for life.  I planned to just take my share monthly
    rather than ask for a lump sum.
    
    I can't imagine awarding a spouse more than half a pension, even if the
    couple were married for the entire length of the employment.  This is a
    little scary since if my husband and I split I would receive just under
    half his pension while he could be awarded a bigger bite of mine. 
    Hmmm, not only cheaper but simpler just to stay married.  :)
                                      
    aq
    

    The prior notes illustrates a perfect example of how unfairly our legal
    system can operate.  Its AMAZING how the legal system can get away with
    it!  It defies logic.

    Another thought:  How is it in these days of "equal rights", that the
    woman is awarded the alimony?  If either spouse does not work, and
    there is a divorce, then the alimony should go to the spouse
    (regardless of sex) who is not working.  Are there cases where the 
    HUSBAND receives the alimony?  If not, then guys, I think we should
    go to work on righting this inequality.  Jeff

    I have a big problem with alimony in that it suggests that one can earn
    a free living after divorce by being doled out money by a person you
    are no longer related to.  It smacks of unfairness, and in this age of
    semi-equality (1/2 :), I would expect that a non-working spouse could
    go out and get a job rather than leeching partial income. 
    
    Yes, harsh, and I suppose SOME situations would prove the exception. 
    
    However, this isn't the "old days" where women didn't DO anything but
    be a homemaker and depended entirely on the man for support.  It was
    more the mandate than the choice.  Now, if in a present marriage, the
    spouse decides to stay home, that was their decision.  If the marriage
    dissolves, and the person now finds themselves bearing the consequences
    of that decision, well, it's rough, but I can't imagine the "fairness"
    of having to pay for someone's lives that is no longer even related to
    you.  It's scary.  
    
    I don't think there are too many men who get alimony, but there are
    probably a few who have married wealthy woman who get a settlement from
    a divorce or breakup.  Either way, I think the
    alimony/palimony/settlement system is terrifically antiquated, unfair
    to the payer, and a wonderful way to create untold animosity (as if
    divorce wasn't enough).  I would certainy stipulate in a prenuptual
    that no alimony is to be paid in case of a divorce, by myself, or to
    myself.
    
    re. 3:  I believe there is a small support group started by
    anote in this conference that is working the Mass. legislative end on
    unfair child support payments.  It may or may not include alimony. 
    Maybe someone can give you a pointer on the contacts -- I was dropped
    off the distribution list.  
    
    Cheers,                                   
    
    kim

    two years ago, my wife (of more than twenty years) and I were divorced. 
    I recognized that, according to Texas law, she was entitled to one half
    of any accrued retirement I might be entitled to up to the date of the
    divorce.  I was fully vested in another company, as well as DEC.  
    
    In order to releive myself of any future obligations (and to try to
    totally sever the relationship) I negotiated with her.  I gave her my
    entitlement to our real-property (residence, and one rental house) in
    full settlement for any entitlement she might have against my future
    retirement income.  She agreed (a bird in hand, so to speak) and that
    is the way the divorce decree is written.  
    
    I now have absolutely no liability to her for any portion of my
    retirement.
    
    It *IS* NEGOTIABLE.
    
    tony

    I don't think that sharing in a pension is regarded as alimony,
    although I could easily be mistaken.  As far as I know, I'd be awarded
    a little under half my husband's military pension since we were married
    for seventeen of his twenty years of service.  Also as far as I know,
    he'd be entitled to half my pension since we've been married for my
    entire time at Digital.
    
    A thought.  My lawyer told me that if a spouse is divorced on a
    [proved, I presume] charge of adultery the injured spouse may be
    awarded 60% instead of New Hampshire's standard 50%.
    
    aq
    
     

    Does anyone know for certain whether this award can happen years later? 
    Or, once the divorce decree is issued, is the case closed?
    
    I've been led to believe that _any_ previous spouse of more than -
    what?  10-12 years??? - is entitled to a share of Social Security and
    pensions earned/vested during the marriage.  If this is true, it's 
    conceivable that an individual with enough ex-spouses around could 
    retire with zilch, in spite of having worked and earned pension credits
    continuously over the years.  Lovely thought.
    
    Karen                 

    re: .7:  Ever hear of Mickey Rooney?  :-)
    
    ed

    re: .7
    
�    Does anyone know for certain whether this award can happen years later? 
�    Or, once the divorce decree is issued, is the case closed?
    
    For the USA it depends upon the laws of the state your in.  In Maine,
    yes, you can re-open the divorce at any time (60B motion).  You can
    ask for a change due to circumstances (hidden assets, etc) that were
    not known and/or presented at the time of the divorce proceedings
    that affects materially the settlement.  Most often this is done in 
    custody cases where the child(ren) do(does) not wish to live with one 
    parent and want to live with the other.  You MUST have reasonable grounds 
    for your motion or the judge will refuse to hear the case.  I was divorced 
    earlier this year and have brought one motion to clarify the final decree 
    and one contempt charge against my ex.  
    
    As for pensions, she was entitled to one-half of the Net Present Value 
    of my pension (you can get this from your PSA).  Since this wasn't a great 
    deal of money she agreed to forgo this and receive the newer car instead.
    
    I did agree to a limited period of alimony (4 years) so that she could
    go to college.  After that I will pay child support pro-rated on our
    incomes (we have joint custody of the two children).  One incentive for
    this is that US Tax Law permits you to deduct alimony payments.  You 
    cannot deduct child support payments for tax purposes.
    
    I've accepted the fact that I will have to deal with the potential for
    going back to court on this matter at least until our youngest child 
    turns 18 years old (another 11 years).
    

    
    
    Does anyone know the percentage of exspouses who are awarded alimony?
    
    I haven't seen this being awarded in the few cases I know of who have
    divorced within the past three years.  The main issues at hand have
    been custody, vistitation and child support.
    
    Any numbers available?
    
    Mi