Conference quark::human_relations

    
    	Hi Rich,
    
    	I've noticed you in notes lately...that's one way to "reach
    out".
    
    	>Is this the life of the engineer these days?
    
    	I dunno - is it a matter of "Then one day you find - ten years
    has got behind you - no one told you when to run"?
    
    	I cant explain how to live life; I dont want to insult you with
    a "Well, you could get a dog, take him to puppy school!" type reply...
    
    	A matter of balance? That computer is nice; fairly predictable,
    behaves mostly the way you want it to. Seems to be quite good as
    a time sink with nearly an infinite capacity! I know that from personal
    experience...and a particular piece of computer room poetry...
    
    	"Holy communion" - what a telling way to describe it!
    
    	A computer is a wonderful problem solving tool - it doesnt make
    a very good friend.
    
    	The rational mind is also a great problems solving tool - it
    too doesnt make a very good friend. (In fact, it'll beat the tar
    out of you with its rationalized choices and not care one iota...)
    
    	So, where does meaningfulness in life come from? I think it starts
    with making contact, which you seem to be doing. After all, we are
    social animals. We need relationship in order to not feel so empty.
    
    	I keep a poem by Virginia Satir on my office wall. It exemplifies
    well, so much for me, which is why I keep it there. It's called
    "Making Contact" and I'll type it in here -
    
    		I believe
    		The greatest gift
    		I can conceive of having
    		from anyone
    		is
    		to be seen by them
    		heard by them
    		to be understood
    		and
    		touched by them.
    
    		The greatest gift
    		I can give
    		is
    		to see, hear, understand
    		and to touch
    		another person.
    
    		When this is done
    		I feel
    		contact has been made.
    
    	
    	IMHO, the very last line is not necessary. Life for me starts
    to have meaning when I can feel something about it. Much of what
    I feel revolves around what the poem is all about. When I choose
    an activity (or when I cant put down or say enough's enough) that
    isolates me from this kind of "contact", I get pretty numb and life
    gets pretty meaningless. Pretty quickly.
    
    	Where are the places that this "contact" is going on? Seeing,
    hearing, understanding, validating type stuff? I know there's lots of 
    support groups (even here at work) that address different issues -
    quite an incredible range of stuff, actually - where *exactly that* is 
    going on. Maybe you could find one that "fits" and attend, participate 
    - get some meaning into your life that way.
    
    	Honestly, I dont know where else one could just "drop on into"
    and get seen, heard and understood - without having to deal with
    some additional, possibly hidden, agenda - like a "recruitment" of
    some kind.
    
    	Anyway...just some thoughts, hope they help somehow.
    
    	Joe

    Work takes one third of one's 24 hr days, I let those 8 hrs follow a
    hectic day or an evenful day and by end of the day... I want to know
    nothing or hear nothing about work will next norning! the other two
    thirds of the day belong to me to use it anyway I want and I do choose
    to meet friends, go out, see movies, share with family, you name it!
    but one thing I never did was to mix friend and work. I am extremely
    social and get along well with most of everyone, but I seldom confide,
    or get involved with felow workers... I am very defensive of my privacy
    but on the other hand... I never had problems making friends with
    anyone in a special age category... I get along just fine with people
    in the 40s, or 60s, or 20s without any special difference. Still, the
    workplace is not the place I made my friends, I made them by socializing 
    after work, when one is relaxed and enjoying life...
    
    Here is one Spanish proverb I love, (with lots of wisdom behind it)
    
    "Se trabaja solo para vivir, no se vive para trabajar"
    
    "We only work to LIVE, not live to work"... if you think about it, it
    makes a lot of sense.  Work is the tool that makes us enjoy life, not
    the main purpose of our lives. We must find by ourselves the way of
    enjoying a fruitful, meaningful life being work a part of it, but just
    that a part, not the reason... 
    
    I hope you can understand what I mean.  Cheers! Ana
    

    This is not the same DEC it was 10 years ago. I sympathize with you
    completely as my DEC history chart is about the same as yours. I left
    in '85 and returned in '86 to notice the "change" had begun. Digital is
    no longer the extended "family" I had back in the early 80's based on
    the economy, the departure of Ken Olsen, and the loss of many of the
    old DEC crowd (TFSO's, early retirement).
    
    But keep in mind, YOU too have changed (gotten older, more experienced)
    just as DEC has changed. As my personal life has changed so has my
    involvement with Digital. It was hard, but I finally had to separate my
    own life from my life at Digital. It hasn't been all that hard since
    there are fewer and fewer "employee days" outside benefits etc...

    Thanks for the responses.  Regarding .2, this is exactly what I'm
    concerned about:  very few American workers today seem to treat their
    workplace as much beyond a paycheck.  To me, spending 30-35% of my
    weekly waking hours without interacting meaningfully with people feels
    like a travesty.
    
    Regarding .3, thanks for the sanity check.  Digital is a bigger place
    than it was back then (head count 40,000) but the corporate culture
    shouldn't be all that different just based on size.  It seems to have
    changed based on geographic shifts, aging of the workers, and on the
    economic dislocation in the business we're in.
    
    Leaving out the problems I face outside work, I'd like this discussion
    to concentrate on how we can all make life better here at work.  I'm
    pretty new to the SHR facility, which is a *big* one and growing
    rapidly (check VTX JOBS_US to see why we're doubling up on cubicles),
    and thus far it hasn't been very satisfactory as an intellectually or
    socially stimulating environment, despite the presence of nearly 2500
    coworkers within a five minute walk.  My own group is filled with too
    much sexism/homophobia (harmless, I think, but somewhat distracting)
    so I want to look further.  I'd like to know what resources there are
    which I'm not yet aware of.
    
    -rich
    Mass Storage Engineering OEM D&SG  SHR3-1/W7     DTN:  237-2124
    [email protected]                            508-841-2124

    I JUST STARTED HERE IN A SMALL CAPACITY AND KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,
    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND HIT  A FEW CLUBS NOW & THEN IN TOWN...
    YOU MAY BE SURPRISED.