Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    Lou,
    
    	What a scarey experience for you and your friend.  I'm glad
    you both made it through mostly unharmed.  The memory will always
    be with you and I'm sure the next time (if there is a next time)
    you get on a plane, it'll be difficult.  However, not impossible.
    
    	As for your thinking about your friend with whom you have not
    spoken with, I understand that feeling a lot.  I have some friends
    which I wish I could clear up some misunderstanding which happened
    about 4 years ago.  However, I have tried to make amends, but they
    have not recriprocated. 
    
    	My advice to is to write a letter to your friend and tell her
    how you feel.  Not that you expect anything from it, but just how
    you feel.  Maybe it'll help you.
    
    
    						jean

    Lou,
    
    I can just picture the scene as you described it and am amazed at how
    situations like this bring out the best--and the worst--in people (I
    can't believe the bozos that tried to retrieve their luggage!) I was on
    a People Express (aka Cattle Express) flight several years ago that
    took THREE attempts at landing before it could be done (the weather was
    rainy and windy, and we had to fly around twice--after being as close
    as 50 yards from the ground--before the pilot could land). I remember
    the people crying and vomiting all around me, while I was calmly trying
    to say goodbye to my loved ones (who weren't on the plane and wouldn't
    have heard me, but I was hoping they'd know somehow).
    
    I will never forget that experience, but time has dulled my pledge to
    always let my loved ones know how much they mean to me, and to tie up
    those loose ends. I think that people are never prepared for death,
    although the terminally ill, who obviously know their time is near, may
    be more organized. You just have to periodically thank g-d for what you
    do have and work to keep it and obtain what you really want.
    
    I'm very glad you gave us all the details about the incident too
    because it helps to know what you should and shouldn't do in this type
    of a situation.
    
    I'm sorry to ramble on for so long, but I'd like to end by saying that
    I'm very glad that you made it through this horrible situation and that
    I hope that you and your loved ones never have the misfortune to
    experience something like this again.
    
    Nancy- 

    Re .2
    
    Go-arounds are not unsafe maneuvers in an aircraft....in fact they are
    frequently done in the interest of safety.  The aircraft landing ahead
    of yours may not have cleared the runway in one or more instances, or
    the pilot may have encountered windsheer and didn't want to risk
    landing, or he/she may have been dissatisfied with the approach.
    In any event, it was probably more prudent on the pilot's part to
    go around and try again than try to salvage the landing. (A frequent
    lament I share with my pilot friends is the success of the flight 
    tends to be measured wholly by the last few feet on landing.)
    I am surprised the flight crew didn't make announcements explaining
    to the passengers why they were going around.
    
    To the base noter, perhaps it might help you get over the frustration
    of being in such a horribly helpless situation by turning some energy
    on the air carrier.  I was appalled that the cabin crew didn't 
    intervene when people were trying to take their luggage out of the
    overhead compartments.  Have you considered writing a letter to the
    airline sharply criticizing their lack of control in the situation
    and demanding to know what steps they plan to take to ensure their
    crews will give adequate emergency deplaning instructions in the 
    future?  Copies to the FAA and NTSB would also be in order.
    
    Fortunately the source of the fire was outside the aircraft not
    inside.  Had there been toxic fumes from burning material in the 
    cabin this story may not have had a happy ending.
    
    Evelyn
    
    P.S.  Although I am a pilot myself, I am a real "white knuckler" 
          when it comes to flying the airlines....so I do sympathize.

    re .3, yes, a friend of mine is in flight attendant training school
    right now and they are put through evacuation drills in which the
    attendants are supposed to direct the whole evacuation.  The absence
    of mention of any of the attendants in .0 made me wonder if they
    had already left for the flight terminal.
    	Linda

    I think that *almost* dying is a rebirth and possibly even a gift.
    Nothing is clearer at these times than the real truth of our existence,
    that we are in fact, quite mortal.

    The wonderful thing about surviving is that you have the chance to
    start over and use the truths that you have seen. liesl

    From the "The way of life" translations of Lao Tzu:

	    Which means more to you,
	    You or your renown?
	    Which brings more to you,
	    You or what you own?
	    And which would cost you more
	    If it were gone?
	    The niggard pays,
	    The miser loses.
	    The least ashamed of men
	    Goes back if he chooses:
	    He knows the both ways,
	    He starts again.

    It's unfortunate that it takes situations such as yours to make us
    aware of how blessed we are to have our loved ones and friends.  I'm
    sure that we all could be more loving and kinder to those special in
    our lives.
    
    Just glad to hear that you survived such a frightening experience.
    
    Dianne

    Just a thought, Lou, about contacting old friends... a sense of
    completion with the relatioship is wonderful when you can do so.
    In some cases, however, it can open old wounds and do more damage
    than good.  An example close to home is the completion I would like
    to have with my first husband who is legally insane and very violent.
    I *could* contact him, but what point would it serve?  It would
    certainly bring back horrifying memories of brutality and pain.
    It would disrupt the lives of family members who would prefer not
    to have any contact with him, etc.  The point here is that some
    situations are best left alone--completion or not.  It's up to you
    to weigh what is really important and when it's time to keep moving
    ahead.  Sometimes letting go is the hardest part.  Sometimes it's
    also the best thing for everyone.
    
    I'm glad you made it, Lou.  It's good you have another fresh start...
    
    Wishing you well,
    Barb
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

    Definitely a scary experience.  Glad you are o.k.  I would just like to
    say two things:
    
    1.  Did you consider writing the airline and FAA to notify them of the
    reality of trying to get off a packed airplane with a group of panicked
    people?  Who would ever think people would hold up the aisles to get
    their baggage and endanger other's lives (at the time they probably did
    not consider this)?  This should be brought to the airlines and
    authorities attention and maybe they can make it standard to include
    "exit immediately, do not attempt to retrieve your baggage" or
    something like that.  We never hear this side of this sort of tragedy
    and it could have caused others to die in other airline tragedies and
    no one knows.
    
    2.  As someone who also was at the hands of someone who I loved very
    much and they did the hurting, as time goes on and you become more
    objective, so maybe you will always be hurt but if you care can you
    accept them anyway?  Can you forgive them?  Can you do this and accept
    that they may not respond or give you anything in return?  Then again
    it may give them peace of mind.  I didn't take the time to do this with
    this person.  They died 7 years ago.  Now it is too late.  And now it
    seems so foolish all the bad feelings that went on.  Were they really
    that important?  Not to me anymore, not when it comes to the finality
    of no turning back, no chance to ever tell the person you forgive them,
    to go on with their life and to wish them well in their endeavors.
    
    Thanks for the interesting story.  Good luck
      

    
    Thanks, everyone, for the interesting comments...  
    
    To answer a couple of questions, there were definitely no announcements
    about leaving luggage behind. It truly amazed me that people would even
    *think* about luggage, especially since if they looked backward they 
    would see that we were on fire! Had there been smoke in the cabin I 
    can't imagine what would have happpened. I don't think the crew was
    really in control of the situation, but as I said, the pilot sounded
    like he was REALLY scared about what was going on!
    
    I agree that a letter to the airline, FAA and NTSB is in order. I
    didn't mention the airline name before (although if you saw this on
    the news last week you know which one it was). I didn't think it was 
    relevent to the story though, but if you want to know, I'd be glad
    to comply. 
    
    As I've thought more about this and listened to you readers, I've
    also realized that it makes the most sense to channel energy towards
    positive things - and not go reopening old wounds, even though it seems
    in some ways like the right thing to do... 
    
    Lou