Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    I would have gone full time to school right after high school.  My
    parents were willing to pay for it in full, but I wanted to work.  And
    I had the opportunity to go to some excellent colleges.
    
    Oh well, at least DEC paid for 1/2 my school, instead of my parents. 
    And in doing it the hard way, I learned to value my education, instead
    of treating it (like a lot of kids) as something to do, like party and
    meet guys and just go to school for the social aspect.
    
    Tammi
    

    This is a real tuff one! I feel that I would have stayed home on the
    farm, learned my dads trade as a freelance artist in the woods of
    Epping N.H. He hasn't done too bad for himself. Has illustrated a
    couple of childrens books and etc. I guess where I am standing at the
    moment with a devorce in the works there are many things I would like
    to change to make the marriage better. But could I have done it all by
    my self? Who knows any more.
    
    George
    

    Id change August 1989....and consequently, June-July of '90....
    
    Man O man, would I change them....

    I would have told mu parents (father mostly) to forget it when he said
    I had to go to college, and spent a little time trying to find out what
    I wanted. As it was, I just kinda fell into engineering, and HATE it,
    and at 49 it's difficult to wrestle with. I hope to have a real job
    pretty soon, not a DECflex job. I don't think I would have been where I
    am if I had used my head when I was 18.
    
    ....Bob

    There are certain areas of unhappiness in my life. I'm not sure that
    other paths would have led me to better pastures. Would I chance that
    and change the past? I don't know, I can still change the future.
    Perhaps that's the more frightening prospect.

    To change the past would mean I was not me anymore. As ee cummings put
    it in a poem about if the world was changed to be perfect: liesl

	    "that you and i'd be quite
	    -come such perfection-
	    another you and i,
	    is a deduction
	    which (be it false or true)
	    disposes me to shoot
	    dogooding folk on sight

   

My socks but haven't another pair with me and these are soaked from the rain.

8^)

Nothing. If were able to go back I woulden't know what I know today so I'd
probably make the same misteaks and learn the same lessons possibly even
slower.

I do wish certain things had gone differently but I woulden't change them now.

-j

A moment of introspection gave a clear picture of the twenty seven 
years that I knew myself as me.  I have gradually discovered that, in those
eventful years, the opportunities to make decisions of my own were few.  
Of the few occasions, most choices were obvious, and the rest were all swept 
away by the consequent events--a perpetual strife to stay above the water...
I amazed myself that I have been able to keep the illusion and indeed proud
that I was an independent character to choose my own destiny and had the 
strength to take the unknown and pay the price.  Oh yes, making 
decision has always been easy with the guide of reason, and I have never 
failed to achieve the goals I set for myself, at least not yet.  
However, I am no longer sure they were really my decisions because when 
I look back, there were never any doubts that those were the right
decisions.  I guess I will always make right decisions whether I am 
happy with them or not.

Maybe this is the ultimate truth about my life.  Would I choose differently 
had I the opportunity?  I do not know.  You will have to ask the one I am 
not--the one who could have made a different choice.

Eugene
                                                                  

    I feel comfortable that the majority of my decisions (right or wrong),
    we made for the right reasons (at the time).  Sometimes, I look bck and
    wish I'd had put more thought into what I did, rather than jump in with
    both feet and hope for the best.  I also wish that I'd have stayed on
    at school, rather than leaving as soon as possible.  I doubted myself
    at the time, and now I look back and realise with a little bit more
    confidence, nothing really stood in my way - except myself.  I know
    that luck has also been on my side, because things could easily have
    gone against me.  I also hope that luck continues to be on my side.
    
    Best wishes
    
    Sarah

    I wouldn't change anything whatsoever!  What I did when I dit it was
    the right thing to do and faithfully believed at the moment, so if I
    could "go back" I would be doing exactly the same things I've done all
    along, I enjoy people, enjoy life and enjoy what I do because I believe
    in myself.  I have a family I would not change for a billion dollars!
    I am a happy human being.  Ana
    

    	When I read this initially, my first thought was to think back to
    the various mistakes I've made in my life (and I've certainly made my
    share!).  But almost immediately, I realized that I really wouldn't
    want to change those, either.  Because each time I made a mistake I
    learned *something* from it.  And in learning, I've changed and grown
    to become the person I am today.  There's just no easy way to grow; as
    Billy Joel says about mistakes, "They're the only things you can truly
    call your own".


    	Further, what many times seemed so bad (at least at the time),
    turned out to be something that at some point became positive.  For
    instance, where at one point I didn't do X, because I didn't do X I was
    able later to do Y (Y being something *very* good).  I've noticed that
    if you simply take the long view, things have a way of working out for
    the better.  The zigs and zags of your ship on the Ocean of Life become
    straight lines when seen from a great enough distance (I believe that's
    a rough paraphrase of Emerson).


    Brian

    I wouldn't have moved to New England, or paid to see "The Return of the
    Jedi" in a first-run theater.
    
    Ray

    I guess I wouldn't change too many things - but I do wish I could have
    learned some of those lessons in less time. I've often spent N years
    in a bad job or relationship when N/2 should have been enough to figure
    out that it was time to leave...
    
    And then there was the time I took a *huge* bite of what I thought was
    a gelatin dessert but turned out to be tomato aspic. Now, there's a
    regret!
    
    -b

    would have punched a certain person in the nose, avoided drugs,
    married ______, gotten back to school sooner, bought a couple AK47's 
    when they were cheap :-)

    What would I have changed?     I, like several other people who have
    already replied, became somewhat introspective....oooh boy!   For the
    most part there aren't too many things I'd do differently; I'm fairly
    content with my life at the moment.  I'm young, in love, happy, and with
    luck (and God) on my side, I have lots to look forward to.
    
    There was only one thing I could actually look at and say "I wouldn't
    do that again."   All sorts of other choices which may have seemed
    wrong at first have resulted in wonderful opportunities and sent me
    on down paths I might not have otherwise explored.                
    
    If I could go back, though, I would avoid credit cards like the plague.   
    Too much temptation for me.   It seems like you end up paying and
    paying............That's the only thing.   I'd be one step closer to
    home ownership had I saved my money and not had credit card debt.....
    
    Oh well, as the saying goes, "no sense crying over spilled milk."
    What's done is done, all you can do is move on, look forward to
    the future and try not to make the same mistakes twice! 
    

    If I could change anything, anything at all, I'd change my height!
     I'd probly then decide I like being short better, but atleast I'd
    have some comparisons........
    
    kkay (5'1")

    
    
    STAYED SINGLE !!! In live in the Carribean .............
    
    

o Would have gone out looking for my wife and married her sooner,

o Would have gone home on route 9 the day I got ticketed going home
  on route 126. 

o Would have sold my Digital stock a couple of years ago.

o Would have never started reading this note, let alone finished it.

    Well, there was this girl in the fourth grade.  I had a crush on her
    the very first day of class.  I spent three years on the school bus
    with her, never telling her how I felt.  She moved away and came back
    as a totally different person.
    
    I sometimes wonder whether my life would have drastically changed if we
    had gone out.  Maybe I wouldn't have been so shy in secondary school.
    
    Fortunately, college turned me into a tiger.  Grrrrrrr.....
    
       - Larry
                                   

. I would not have married as soon after meeting my now ex wife.

. I would have spent more time with my father

. I would NEVER EVER have co-signed on a loan for my son

. I would have kept the ticket I had to see the Grateful Dead on 3/24/90

. I would not have lived with my in-laws as I did for 6 months

. I would not have credit cards, and I would ignore impulses to buy ridiculous
  stuff that I didn't really need.

. I would have stayed in school and persued a career as a pilot


. I would have put up a bigger fight about my younger kids spending the
  entire summer in Calif with my ex-mother in law.



Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing despite all the ups and downs.


"Some of its magic, some of its tragic, but I had a good life anyway"



Jim

- I would have stayed in Boulder, Colorado when I had the chance instead
   of going back to Vermont. Because now I'm stuck in New England and I
   desparately want to get out.

Jenna

    After writing the base note, and reading some of your replies, I took
    time to reflect on my life's experiences that came about through the
    choices I've made. Some of you have commented that you would have made
    the same choices again, because it's made you what you are today. 
    
    I do have one regret. My father desparately wanted me to go to college
    right after high school. I refused. I wanted to work first and get my
    own apartment, become independent, etc. Well, I did get a job, and I
    stayed at home until I married at 22. I finally did go to college, but
    didn't graduate until I was 37 years old - I know, better late than
    never. But I wasted so many years of unexplored potential, and a career
    path that probably would have been alot farther along than it is. In
    retrospect, that decision alone, was enough to alter my life
    completely.

    I would never have made any replies to 16.3**.  I've swallowed my
    foot eaten my "humble pie" and have thought seriously about leaving
    the conference.  Then I thought... gee if it offends these people
    so much, the way it offended me to have my ignorance rubbed in my
    nose.... I ain't leavin' I'm gonna make there daily excursions into
    the varied notes files a living hell.   hehehehehehe!
    
    Revenge really IS mine after all!  
    
    Oh, to those of you who've sent "fan mail" about my replies.  
    Stick any further comments in your hip pockets cus, I ain't
    interested...  I ain't changin' ma ways fer nobody!  And, iffin'
    ya don' like it then don' read it, I'm not twitin yer arms at all!
    
    Skip

    re .21
    
    Jenna - 
    
    Want to trade?  I'm in Colorado springs, CO.  I grew up in Boulder and
    now I want desperately to move to Vermont but there's not a job to be
    found.  :-(
    
    Nanci

re:     <<< Note 1059.25 by BSS::VANFLEET "Making choices, taking chances" >>>

>>    Want to trade?  I'm in Colorado springs, CO.  I grew up in Boulder and
>>    now I want desperately to move to Vermont but there's not a job to be
>>    found.  :-(
    
I'd love to! But I'm in New Hampshire now. Is that close enough? Burlington
is only 175 miles away, but the Vermont border is much closer :-). And
we still have land in Hanksville!

Jenna

    Jenna - 
    
    I admit it's closer but...well, I'll think about it.  :-)
    
    I'll let you know...
    
    Nanci

    I would have to agree with one of the earlier replies. I am happy with
    where I am today and any serious changes to my past would result in
    a different me. In some cases I wish things would have gone better in
    the past . But if I could change them now, I woulden't

    Yes, clearly I would have made some changes. But, then if you didn't
    you probably were not looking back on your life and into the future
    with any seriousness. Such is life. I feel that there were mistakes
    made in marriage, in education, and other things. Maybe I can be aware
    of these things in the future.
    
    George

	Well, what *I'd* really like is if I'd made many more decisions (instead
	of just letting things go), and done many more of the things I've
	thought about doing. I wish I had taken action more often than I have
	taken (and still take) inaction.