Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    Since I wrote the note, guess I ought to reply to it...
    
    My mother and two aunt were 3 of 9 children, of which one now remains. 
    They were a close family and a very traditional family of which they
    have imparted on the "young people" as we were called.  But the three
    sisters I remember as
    
    Aunt Bertha, who passed away just before Thanksgiving last year, as the
    creative aunt.  One Christmas, thirty-odd years ago, a package arrived
    from her.  In it were three Christmas stockings she had made by hand.
    They were bright red, with a snowman, a house and a Christmas tree on
    them with our names printed in glitter.  We were so excited and
    immediately hung them on the mantle.....they don't all hang on the same
    mantle, but Santa still fills them. It was also her packages that were
    the most awaited.  It wasn't for what was in them, although it was
    always something wonderful, but she always wrapped them so festively
    and each one was different.  They held the place of honor at the front
    of the tree and were always the last, and most carefully opened.
    
    Myrtle, my mother (a.k.a. the woman who wanted to name me Dagmar Maude)
    who passed away four days after Christmas
    
    Saturday morning she spent in the kitche baking pies, cakes, and
    cookies to get us through the week (usually lasted 'til Wednesday). I
    can still see the flour stain across her front from wiping her hands
    and flour from one end of the kitchen to the other and on the tip of
    her nose.  I'd sometimve "help" and remember when I wanted to learn how
    to make pie crust as her's was the best. I'd ask "but how do you know
    when it's ready to be rolled out?" to which she'd respond "when it
    feels right" or "how much to I add" to which she'd say "'til it looks
    right". To this day I cannot make a decent pie crust.  Mom always made
    a big deal of the holidays.  Each year one of the bulbs on the tree
    would be replaced by a Santa bulb, or a house decorated bulb, or some
    such thing.  We'd get up and search for it and cheer for whichever one
    of us found it.  She'd "oooo" and "ahhh" over what santa had left and
    convince us to take our treasures upstairs to play with knowing full
    well we'd fall back to sleep 'til around 8 a.m. or so....
    
    Aunt Lucy, the glamorous aunt, who passed away four days after Mom....
    
    She lived in California and would "breeze" in for a visit and "breeze"
    out!  All of us loved to hear her visits and the stories she'd tell of
    when she worked at The Masks (sp?) Club in Hollywood or of when she
    lived in Japan or her jaunts to Las Vegas (she was also the true
    gambler in the family).  I don't remember her ever spending Christmas
    with us, I think she really hated the cold, but each year whe would
    send a memento that was just perfect.  It usually was something that
    either meant something special to her or that reminede her of you. 
    I've many little treasures today....
    
    So, this year I'll wake up on Christmas morning and look at the gifts
    at the front of my tree from my sister who inherited Aunt Bertha's gift
    for wrapping packages, pack up the cakes and pies I madt the way my
    mother taught me and treasure that special memento sent by my brother
    that is his way of saying he cares....
    
    Happy Holidays everyone!
    
    P.
    

    
    pat,
    
    what a wonderful way to start the holidays off. not on a "I'm
    depressed" note, but on a positive one. Certainly we can all count
    our losses, but i think it takes special courage to get pass the
    loss and remember the memories.
    
    there is a movie in which LEE REMICK, spelling might be incorrect,
    playes this woman would falls into a coma ??. She then goes back
    and visits her childhood home. Her mother, father and aunt , who
    have passed over , are there, she has brought her children with
    her. She relives, to a certain extent, a piece of her past around
    the holidays. It is a wonderful movie and thought provoking.
    
    The movie gets past the hurt/loss and sees the joy and wonder of
    what we had.
    
    HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY
    
    barb
    

    Pat:
    
    What wonderful memories, and thank-you so much for sharing them.
    You have so much to be proud of, and the warm and happiness the
    three of them shared in their lifetimes is obvious in your words!
    As .02 said, it does take courage to get past the loss, but the
    memories will always be with you!!
    
    Happy Holidays to you and yours!!
    
    Kathy

    Hi Pat,
    I know the holidays bring greif to a lot of people, all I can say try
    to enjoy them with your freinds and family.  I know how much you loved
    your mom and aunts, but we all go through losing people we love. Just
    hold on to the memories, because they will never die as long as you
    live.  Enjoy the holiday, you have every right too!
    
    Have a wonderful one!
    
    Lynne

From:	WECARE::BLOOM "Debbie *Health Services* 38l-2882  03-Dec-1990 1531"  3-DEC-1990 15:44:57.79
To:	@SEC.DIS,@HS.DIS
CC:	BLOOM
Subj:	Please distribute....

                  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

     Coping With the Holiday Blues in Separated and Disconnected Families

		  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


		WHEN:  December l0, l990
	
		WHERE: Euler Conference Room (ZKO2-2)

		TIME:  l2:00-l:00 p.m.

This seminar will focus on the traditional challenges of the Holidays as they
are compounded by separated families or families in conflict.  Not only do
parents and children face demands, but they also face emotional demands of
coping with the holidays in less than perfect circumstances.

Donna Greene from the Bedford Counseling Center, Bedford, NH, will help
participants to identify their limits, find appropriate levels of support,
and make the most out of the time available in the different family 
circumstances they will face over the holidays.  She will also help people
explore coping skills for people who will be confronting uncomfortable
family situations directly.

For more information contact the EAP at DTN 38l-2884.

    I do tend to get down during this time. Everything seems so zooey.
    But my son who we haven't seen in 2 years is flying home from Tacoma,
    Washington for 10 days. He got out of the Army in Sept, decided to stay
    out there because he likes it, and is going to start school again next
    fall, and get a master's degree and a teaching certificate, to teach
    math and science. The next 2 1/2 years are going to be tough for him,
    but it's what he wants.
    
    I'm greatful for him coming home...........as long as Continental
    Airlines doesn't stop operating till after he goes back..
    
    ....Bob