Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    Get all the offended personel together and explain the theory of
    a good old G.I. party. Then provide them with the soap and scrub
    brushes and let nature take it's course.
    
    Peer pressure is the only answer.

 We had a junior high teacher who never washed his hair. A quick collection
raised enough lunch money for a trip to the corner store. A bottle of strong
shampoo was placed on his desk. he got the hint.

 The Doctah

    
    Where I used to work there was a man who smelled terribly.  All
    his co-workers (including me) literally got sick when sitting near
    him.  Our supervisor didn't know what to do so she basically didn't
    do a thing.
    
    We finally pulled together to buy soap, shampoo, deodorant, a tooth
    brush and tooth paste.  He did finally get the hint.
    
    One thing I want to mention here - our tenants take care of foster
    children.  Their first child was brought into the home at 13 1/2
    years of age.  Her parents told her she could *only* bathe once
    a week on Sundays.  You  can only imagine what this poor child looked
    like when she entered her new home.  She had to be brought to the
    doctors office to have her ears professionally cleaned and she couldn't
    wear shoes because her toenails were so long.   She was finally
    taught personal hygiene and it wasn't easy.  I still wonder what
    would have become of her if she had never been taken away from her
    parents in the first place.  Would she still be smelly and dirty
    today?
    
    I think a personal 1-1 would be hard but best.
    
    Denise
    

    I would echo .3 about a personal 1 on 1. Someone should sit down with
    her and explain the problem.
    
    One point here is that a sudden change in personal habbits, including
    a marked disinterest in personal hygene can be a sign of mental illness
    or depression. I would suggest talking to someone in health services
    about this situation.
    
    Bonnie

    I think the college's health services department should be involved in
    this.  I would discuss this problem with them and set up some time for 
    the student to talk with a nurse or counselor.  There are certain rules
    people must follow when they live in a community environment such as a 
    dorm.  Her poor roommate certainly should not have to live this way.  
    From the description, I would gather it is not the healthiest way to
    live.  Once the discussion has been held, if things are corrected then
    great, she has learned a valuable lesson.  If things do not get
    corrected, then I would consider having her in a single room, or not
    allowed to live in the dorm.
    
    I know that sounds harsh, and I don't believe in throwing someone out
    of a dorm because they are "sloppy", but I do think the students and 
    administration can reasonably expect a certain level of hygene required
    to live in the dorm.
    
    One reason I think a nurse or counselor should be the person to talk to
    her is to find out if there is more going on here than poor hygene. 
    They would probably be more qualified to dig for hidden reasons for
    this behavior.  It could also be that she is just ignorant of the
    proper way to care for yourself and your room.  Either way,  a nurse or
    counselor should probably be involved.
    
    Good luck in making a decision, it is definetly an uncomfortable
    position to be in.  

    
    I agree with a personal one on one, hopefully by someone she can trust
    and respect.
    
    The possibility of a health problem should not be overlooked.
    
    Good luck,
    
    Carol
    

    
    When I returned from Cz. this summer I checked in for my flight
    (in biz class) after 4 days of hard riding from Prague and 
    no shower during that time. To add to the pollution, I proceeded
    to drink 2 bottles of champagne in rapid succession. 
    
    After a few hours of sleep I awoke to find a cute little AA bag
    with personal hygiene items inside. I thought "All this and free
    toilet items to boot!" and made a beeline to the head for a scrub
    and to brush my teeth. It only dawned on me later that I may have
    inadvertently caused some offense by smelling of Bohemia's woods and
    fields (to say nothing of American male sweat!)... 
    
    Most reasonable people would jump at the chance to remedy such an
    offense giving situation...I would be inclined to look elsewhere for
    the problem.

    Re .1, that's really mean.  People don't need to be encouraged to
    treat each other any worse than they already do.
    
    I agree with the 1-1 approach.  It's difficult to understand but
    there must be some reason.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    This sounds like my daughters room mate when she was in college.  We
    knew there was a problem when the girl arrived with everything dirty.
    Yes, all her bed linens were soiled when she arrived, not just mussed a
    bit, I mean soiled, they had an offensive odor. All of her clothes were
    soiled.  Unfortunately I couldn't stick around to help, but the phone
    calls for help from my daughter were getting expensive.  The first
    thing my daughter did was to have an 'accident' on her room mates bed and
    quickly stripped the bed and tossed everything in the washing machine,
    with many appoligies for having an accident. That took care of some
    serious odor problems. Then her room mate wanted my daughter to french
    braid her hair, my daughter convinced her that she could only work on
    freshly shampooed hair, so she said that she would do it after she
    showered and washed her hair.  Now the clothes, the girl would shower
    (once in a while) but would put on the same soiled clothes. While all
    this was happening, the school was trying to get her her own room.
    Before the end of the first semester, my daughter no longer had her for
    a room mate, but it was a painfull, smelly experience for my daughter. 
    One thing that really amazed us was that this girl was older the the
    average student, she was a 25 year old freshman.
    
    Good luck.

    There could be serious problems here, health problems, plus a nice case
    of lice infecting the entire dorm.  (They like to live in dirty
    places..)  I would suggest the 1 on 1 also and let the girl know that
    things had to change or she would not be able to stay in the dorm.  
    

	 When I was a Resident Assistant at my dorm, I had a similar
	 situation......I just took the girl out for lunch and had a
	 one on one with her.  Come to find out, they were brought up
	 in an environment where they didn't have a lot of money, and
	 not bathing all the time was one of their cost-cutting
	 measures.

	 I pointed out to her that she didn't have to worry about
	 cost-cutting measures in the dorm, but she did have to worry
	 about other people...and that everyone should be comfortable.

	 She took it rather well, and when she realized that she
	 didn't need to "conserve" as much anymore (she was very
	 concious of this...after all, she had grown up like this) she
	 did wonderful!

	 It's a delicate subject, but worth the one-on-one....but
	 a positive attitude toward it, not a negative is the key.
	 Eliminate the problem without making her feel like she is
	 offending other people.

	 kath

 An excellent solution. I commend your heart in dealing with this delicate and
difficult matter.

 The Doctah

    RE:  #11.  Well written.  I had a similar problem with my roommate
    in college.  The only solution was a one-on-one with her.
    The problem did reoccur, but I always drop subtle reminders when
    it bothered me...