Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
>    	2.  If you are a female, would you ever send flowers to a guy
>            at the office? 

Yes, I would send flowers to a guy at his office...in fact I'm contemplating it
right now! Hummmm....

Never have, but....

>	What was the reactions of the following:
    
>		1. Him

I'd imagine he would be flattered the same way  I am when I receive them.

>    		2. Other people in the office

Well, since *I* but up with all the kidding and teasing and joking, why
shouldn't he have to....That's part of the fun!  8^)
   
>    	   And lastly what was your relationship with him at the time,
>           and why did you send the flowers?

I'm the kind that would send flowers just because, but most definately to an
SO or a PROSPECTIVE SO.  8^)

kath

PS: Try a balloon bouquet!  If the guy might be "embarrassed" by flowers, that's
always a good bet!  8^)

kath

    The public gift of something like flowers where the interest is
    mutual is something I would find both flattering and endearing.
    
    It's happened a couple of times and in both instances I was impressed
    and touched... and what little ribbing I got from other men was fairly
    obviously motivated by envy.
    
    Note:  I would presume that flowers to someone who had not expressed
    some interest in me, i.e., as a first approach, might be felt to
    be intrusive and obligating... I know I would feel that way.
              
    R.
    
    

    YES.......send 'em...
    
    
    Bill
    
    (P.S.   Mro2-LA/M54  for anyone interested......)

    I have been absolutely delighted to receive flowers, for any and no
    occasion.  Sometimes replete with balloons.  (Never delivered by
    a gorilla or a belly dancer - yet...)  NEVER did I feel the slightest
    bit embarrassed, instead I was proud and pleased that someone cared
    to think of me in this way.  And I usually got envious stares from
    nearby women who would wonder aloud why the men in their lives never
    sent THEM flowers!
    
    What kind of flowers?  Any kind.  The same as you yourself would
    want to receive.  Add a single red rose, if you want to deliver
    a certain message.
    
    I will say that receiving an unexpected gift of flowers is one of
    this world's greater delights (which is why I am so fond of sending
    such gifts!)
    
    A gift of flowers need not indicate a romantic interest.  You can set
    the proper expectations by the wording on the card.  I've even been
    known to send flowers to women I didn't know, just on a whim, and
    as "hope you feel better soon" pick-me-ups for friends who were down.
    
    When I send flowers, I prefer to telephone a florist local to the
    recipient and order them that way, rather than going through a wire
    service.  This way you get more for your dollar, and the local florist
    can discuss with you the best kind of arrangement to send.
    
    A gift of a plant can also be made, which can be quite meaningful
    (as long as the recipient doesn't allow it to die!)
    
    				Steve

    My wife has sent me flowers and I loved it.  Its great getting suprise
    gifts, there the best kind.  I also enjoy sending her flowers for
    no special occasion.  The waiting to find out if she recieved them
    yet, the joy in her voice when she calls to say thanks...can't be
    beat....
    
    dv

    I'm answering this before reading any of the replies, so that my
    opinions can not be shaped by them.  I have never received flowers (at
    the office or anywhere else) from a woman, so I have no experience to
    base these opinions on.

    I would be flattered if I received flowers at the office!  Though there
    might be some kidding about the flowers from fellow workers, I think
    that they would primarily be expressing their curiosity and jealousy.
    I have occasionally brought flowers in to work from my garden so that
    I could enjoy them, and no one has asked about them.  Though I'm sure
    that having flowers delivered would be different.

    For both women and men, if you're going to give someone flowers,
    deliver them yourself, if at all possible, rather than having them
    delivered.  It's a little bit more work, but I believe that the
    personal touch improves upon the gift.

    Rich

    Several years ago, I was dating this gentleman around Valentine's
    Day.  I sent him a dish garden (plant) for his office.  When it
    was delievered to this place of employment, he never took it off
    the receptionist desk.  After about a week of it sitting there,
    she called him and he informed her, she could take it home.  I was
    very hurt by this.  Needless to say, we never went out again.  I
    guess I never thought of looking at it from his point of view. 
    
    
    Bev
    

    Re: .8
    
    "His point of view"?  That of an unfeeling, unappreciative jerk?
    Maybe it served to point out his incompatibility.  Sounds like you
    are better off.  Even if he was embarrassed and didn't like the
    gift, his behavior was unacceptable from MY point of view.
    
    Re: .7
    
    Delivering the flowers in person is indeed nice, but is not necessary,
    and there is a certain thrill about carrying the flowers down the hall
    from the receptionist. 
    
    
    When I need the number of a local florist, I first try calling
    nnn-555-1212 for the proper area code and ask for "Yellow Pages
    Assistance".  Usually they are helpful, sometimes not, depending on
    which local phone company you get.  I ask them to read me the names and
    numbers of a few local florists.  If you're sending to a DEC facility,
    you can also call the main number of the facility and ask the
    receptionist to offer a recommendation.
    
    				Steve

    
    re: .9 I agree!
    
    I think sending flowers is great, after all it is the thought.
    I did see some comments here about ribbing, for those that do it
    and those that got ribbed remember, the woman remembered you!
    Me I'm not fussy I'll take anything, just don't forget the card!
    
    As an aside is there something wrong with the guy getting flowers?
    
    cheers, john
    

    Two years ago I ordered flowers to be sent to my husband. However,
    when the flowers arrived he was at a meeting, so the recptionist
    called me to come get them. He really liked them, but I sure felt
    a bit odd (nicely odd) carrying the flowers to his desk, and answering
    all the friendly questions with "well, actually *I* ordered them
    for my husband".
    
    I'd do it again tho.
    
    Bonnie

    
    
    This past January 10 was our anniversary.  My SO works in Boston
    on Newbury St.  So I know he would kill me if I sent him Baloons.
    And if I sent him flowers, he brings them home for me.  So this
    year I sent him a Teddy gram. It was great.  The bear was a medium
    sized white bear.  He was dressed like a Chippendales dancer.
    He had a little T-shirt on that had a personal message and a red
    silk rose in his hand/paw.  It was so cute and he got ribbed at
    the office.  
    
    I also sent my brother a bouquet of baloons delivered by a 
    Gorilla who sang him "Happy Birthday".  It was great, but he called
    to ask why I hadn't sent him the stripper instead!! All the folks
    at his place of business had quite a laugh.  His only dilemma was
    getting the baloons into his sports car to drive home.  I guess
    they were so big that he ended up giving some to other folks he
    works with for their kids. 
    
    I think it is great fun to send as well as receive such things.
    It adds a special touch to an ordinary day.
    
    Go ahead and DO IT!!!
    
    Michele

    I've sent flowers to men at their work place before and from their
    response, they liked them very much (yes, there was ribbing in some
    cases).  I've not received any at work.....they've been hand delivered.
    That's not to say I wouldn't like them at work......I usually order
    what I like for flowers.
    
    P.
    

    Yeah, send the flowers.  It is sweet.  Here is my address.......
    Just kidding.
    

Can anyone list the symbolism behind the various types of flowers?

Jim.

 RE: < Note 676.15 by YODA::BARANSKI "Appearance? Or Substance?" >


	Well, back in high school, the drama club used to have a fund
raiser on Valentines Day - we called it "Flower Day".  Basically, we'd 
take orders for different colored carnations, that would be delivered to 
the people on Valentines Day.  We had 4 colors:
		Red = I love you
		Pink = I like you
		Yellow = Friendship
		White = I'd like to get to know you

You could sign a tag, or send them anonymously.  Some people wanted to send 
black, or just plain stems! (Silly high school teens, ya know!  ;-)  ;-) )  

	Of course, now in the "real world", you have more colors, and lots
more choices of kinds of flowers.  I think you can attach whatever significance
to them that you want to.  I don't know if there are "cut and dry" rules for
meanings - if there are, I'd be interested in them as well. The only one I can
think of is the red rose - I think that's universally understood. 

Just FWIW...

	AbG

	What timing!  Just this monday I send flowers (2 red roses, 1 yellow
	rose in a vase with baby's breath) to my "new" honey.  He works for a 
	car towing company.    

	He thought they were great!  I definately made a lasting impression
	on him, a very good lasting impression.   He did get a lot of
	teasing from the people at the shop.  (The other guys wanted to
	take them home for their wives/girlfriends).

	In my opinion "Send him the flowers!".  Most men have never 	
	received them, and are really touched/impressed/whatever that
	you took the time to do something so nice (but so simple!)

	/Robin

    in re meanings of flowers...
    
    In the late 19th century there was an elaborate code of meanings
    worked out for flowers. Each type of flower convied a different
    message. However, even if you managed to find a list of such
    meanings, it would be rather unlikely that the recipient of the
    flowers would have any idea of the hidden message.
    
    Bonnie
    
    (there was also a code of meanings for how a handkerchief or fan
    was used!)

    Be careful when you send them though....
    
    In High School I sent flowers to a young lady and they went to the
    wrong person.  (Same last name and their first name started with
    the same letter, yet they weren't related.)  Boy Was I embarrassed.
    
    Another good way of sending them is repeatedly.  Another time in
    High School I sent my SO a balloon with a carnation attached to
    it every period.  She came home with eight of each and never forgot
    that Valentine's Day.  
    
    Bill
    

    re .15
    
    "The gentleman presents a red rose - "I love you".  The lady admits
    a partial reciprocation of the sentiment by returning a purple pansy
    - "You occupy my thoughts".  The gentleman presses his suit still
    further by an everlasting pea - "Wilt thou go with me?".  The lady
    replies by a daisy, in which she says - "I will think of it."
    
    - from a 19th century etiquette book
    
    Amaryllis - beautiful but timid
    Anemone - forsaken
    Apple blossom - preference
    Aster - variety
    Bachelor's botton - hope
    Buttercup - riches
    Carnation - pure and deep love
    Chrysanthemum - a desolate heart
    Four-leaved clover - be mine
    Red clover - industry
    Dahlia - dignity and elegance
    Daffodil - unrequited love
    Dandelion - coquetry
    Forget-me-not - do not forget
    Geranium - I prefer you
    Hibiscus - Delicate beauty
    Holly - Am I forgotten?
    Iris - a message for thee
    Jonquil - desire
    Lily of the valley - return of happiness
    Morning glory - affection
    Nasturtium - patriotism
    Phlox - our hearts are united
    Poppy - consolation
    Primrose - modest worth or silent love
    Red rose - I love you
    Snapdragon - presumption
    Sunflower - lofty and wise thoughts
    Sweet Pea - a meeting
    Violet - faithfulness
    White rose - silence
    Wild rose - simplicity
    Zinnia - I mourn your absence
    
    
    from "Our Old Fashioned Country Diary for 1989"
    Ed. Linda Campbell Franklin
    

    Oh gezzzz.. I'm in trouble....  my FAVORITE flowers to send are
    carnations, because they smell WONDERFUL, and last SOOOOOO long....
    
    but pure and deep love?...  Not for a LONG time to come....
    
    Gale

    re .21:
    
    Well, Gail, that's the problem with putting much stock in lists made up
    by silly Victorians with too much time on their hands. People who like
    white roses never get them. Miss Manners once fussed about these 
    "meaning" lists. There are many of them, some with meaning attached to
    the *count* of flowers in the bunch, and about the only think they
    agree on is that a single red rose means you'd better watch your step.
    
    A way around this is to steer your SO by a florist's next time you're
    at a mall that has one and idly ask, "What's your favorite flower?"
    File away the response and add off-handedly, "Oh. Mine's carnations."
    
    	Jon

 ... and I was just starting to figure out which pocket to hang my handkerchief
out of and which color it should be. ;^)

I am sitting here reading this and a florist commercial came on the radio.

I want to send my husband some flowers but he is a student and I wouldn't know
where to send them.

Maybe I'll have someone carry them into the library some night while he's there
studying.  That way, I could hide and watch!  :)  That sounds like fun.

He used to send me 1 red rose every month or so while we were dating.  He would
also send me cards and letters at work.

That all changed when he became a poor student!

I love (loved) getting flowers.

My sister sent me a balloon-a-gram once for my birthday.  She let everyone in my
office know what was happening so that they could all watch.  She escorted the
person up to my office where I was read a birthday poem.  Boy was I red!
Getting the balloons home was difficult and a little dangerous, so I would
recommend leaving them in your office.

    Well I sent a single red rose out to my So today . He was shocked. 
    (his words). He said about .0001% of the men in his area had ever received 
    flowers (at work at least), but he's "mucho macho" and can take the ribbing.
    
    Gail

    Well, *mine* look quite nice on my desk ... the women here are a
    bit envious ...

Sigh... I guess nobody took the hints..... 

	Steve

Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers
Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers
Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers
Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers
Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers
Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers
Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers
Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers

    I compromised.  I went to the Chocolate Designers and got a gift
    box with 3 chocolate roses on long stems, with baby's breath type 
    stuff and red ribbons on each rose.  So my SO got flowers, sort
    of...and since he's a chocoholic...he can have his flowers and eat
    them too.                         
    
    Jan

    This has been the first year in 5 years that I didn't have a SO
    to send flowers to.  So I decided I would send some to some of my
    closest female friends.  They loved them, but each of them has SO's
    of their own.  I didn't mean anything romantic by the flowers, I
    just love Valentine's Day and I felt left out if I couldn't give
    anything.  Now I'm also friends with the SOs of my female friends.
    They are college students and are unemployed,  they couldn't get
    their SO's (my close friends) anything more than a card.  I didn't
    think of this untill after I gave the flowers to them.  It was only
    a Long stemmed Pink Rose, but why do I feel like scum?  I was only
    trying to be nice, and to make my day a little less lonely by making
    a friend a little more happy.
    
    Should I have done it?

    re: -1
    
    I think what you did was the nicest sort of thing that one friend
    can do for another....not taking that friendship for granted.  If
    there SO's feel bad, that is their problem.  I understand that they
    may be uncomfortable that you could do more than they could, but
    you did such a nice thing!  
    
    Don't feel bad at all!!
    
    JayCee
    

As the wife of a full-time student (who didn't give me any flowers 8( ) they may
feel a little down about not being the one that could brighten their SO's day
with flowers. If the SO is sensitive enough about it (and you can mention it to
them), she can make him feel better by letting him know that she was happy just
to spend time with him and that there will be plenty of time for flowers later.
If they still feel bad then the SO can use a sense of humor and say "If you feel
that bad, then lets make a deal that you will buy me flowers every day your
first year out of school. 8 )" 

From someone who is there....

8 P    Ln

	*I* think that flowers, if tastefully/appropriately done, are always
okay.  But then it depends on the other person and how they feel, of course.


	As regards the meaning of flowers, I really liked the note that
explained some of the old-time meanings for various flowers!  But IMHO,
what really counts is the feeling behind giving them.  See note 685.37
for more of my opinions on this.  If you convey the thought you wanted
with the flowers (whatever type you sent) you used, then that's the most
important part, right?


Brian

    
    I have sent/given flowers to men-friends on several occasions.
    The relationship at the time was one of "best mate".....not
    potential SO's. The reasons were :-
    
    1) a thankyou for an unexpectedly wonderful evening the night before
    2) his birthday
    
    1) was a red rose
    2) was a big bunch of fresias (he likes fresias)
    
    1) was delivered in the office
    2) was delivered by me, by hand, when I turned up at his place to
       take him out for supper
                                              
    
    The guy in the office said that he was very touched and kept the
    rose for weeks. He did get teased a bit, but didn't mind, and enjoyed
    people thinking that he had a "secret admirer".
    
    The fresias were accepted very gracefully without a hint of surprise,
    and the recipient was moved almost to tears. He said the flowers were 
    the most beautiful present he'd had that year.
    
    If in doubt I have asked in a round-about way if people would mind
    a gesture like that - some have said not to do it. Some people seem
    sensitive to their position in the office (especially if they're
    managers, or married to someone else).
    
    BTW, one of my male colleagues reading this note over my shoulder
    has just said that he'd prefer a pint anytime as a token of
    appreciation. 
    
    Each to their own.....
    
    'gail