Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    	I've heard it said that "most people put more time into developing
    a shopping list" for groceries or Xmas, than they do in goaling their
    life! 
    
    	At 30 and 11/12's, I sometimes wonder if I'm "where I should
    be by now" - as if there is a place/space/situation that I "should"
    have attained. I can only assume that I'm at - here and now - the
    p/s/s that's right for me; one that is teaching me what *I* need
    to learn, at *this* point, in *my* life. Relative comparisons to
    other's lives become meaningless...
    
    	So, how much time do *you* consciously, intentionally, spend
    working out what your personal goals will be -
    
    		- for a day?
    		- for this week?
    		- for next year?
    
    	Dont be surprised if you come up with the most popular answer:
    Zippo!
    
    	Joe Jas
    

    
    Life without goals?  I don't think it's possible....everyone has
    goals...whether it be intentional (I plan to be at this job function
    by the Dec 1988) or automatic (I plan to make it through this week).
    We (maybe I should "I") always seem to be looking ahead....planning....
    idealizing.  Isn't this a type of goal?
    
    There are times when I feel I'm like a boat sailing along the ocean 
    without its navigational devices.  I think it is at times like these 
    that my intentional goals are not well defined.
    
    I believe in the previous note (452?) someone mentioned "Investment
    in Excellence".  Well, I just participated in the program and I
    cannot recommend it enough.  By the end of 1987, I was exhausted,
    both physically and mentally.  After 2.5 days with Louis Tice, I
    finally came out of the tunnel.  I know the program won't be easy
    but it's up to me to make it work.  
    
    Goals aren't something that just happen.  We have to really choose
    what we want and work like the dickens (I always wondered if that
    referred to Charles :-) ) to attain that goal.  If the goal is
    not specific enough, it will be easy to get off course.  I also believe
    that goals are not just for the job sector of our lives.  We should
    have goals for our family life, personal life, spiritual life,
    financial life, etc.  
    
    Once we reach our goal(s), we must be sure to establish new ones
    or if we haven't reached the goal within a designated timeframe,
    we need to stop and re-evaluate....am I on the right track?  Do
    I still want to attain this goal?  If so, what should I be doing
    that I haven't done?  If you think about it, what is the purpose of 
    living without goals?  
           
    
    Happy Goaling!
    
    K2 (IIE FAN)  
    
    
    

    
    re: .2  I think you are really on the right path.  I would like
    to add my two cents worth as a person who teaches a course involving
    goal setting. There is a difference between a dream that is often
    lost and a solid attainable goal.  The dream is often without a
    game plan while a goal is always set up with a decisive game plan
    on how to reach it.
    
    Strictly from my own observations people fail at attaining goals
    because:
    
    	1. The goal was too massive and the person becomes overwhelmed
    by it scope.
    
    	2. The goal is truly unrealistic for the situations the individual
    is existing within.
    
    	3. There is no "reward" system built in to keep the person
    motivated to keep stretching.
    
    Regarding 1.  Long range goals are great as long as the person has
    several short term goals to reach the long range goal. That makes
    the task digestible.
    
    Regarding 2.  An example would be if the 300 lbs person says they
    will be 120 lbs in 6 months.  A dream not a realistic goal.
    
    Regarding 3. Human nature is that we are overly critical of ourselves
    and forget to praise and reward ourselves with a well deserved pat
    on the back.  When setting goals people need to "reward" themselves
    each step of the way for self motivation.
    
    Goal setting is important to human exsistance but we must also forgive
    ourselves if we are not exactly on schedule when reaching for a
    long range goal.
    
    My land, I sound like I'm on a soapbox. 
    
    Thanks for listening.
    
    Mary Ann
                       

re .3, Mary Ann

What course are you instructor for Mary Ann?  Would it be, per chance,
Investment In Excellence?  And where do you instruct?

As I mentioned in a previous note around goal setting, I deliver IIE
out of Tewksbury Massachusetts.

Penny

    
    Penny
    I'm a Dale Carnegie instructor though I would love to take the
    Investment in Excellence course.  It sounds fantastic.  
    
    Mary Ann

    I tried to move a reply from a previous note and ended up deleting
    it instead.  Oh well.
    
    The frustration I've been through is that goals don't come neatly
    packaged with your name on the wrapper.  How do you go about finding
    yours?
    
    My solution has been to get out there and try things, lots of things,
    things I didn't think I'd like, things I didn't think I'd be good
    at, things that other folks suggested, and things that folks told
    me not to try.  I'm still doing this - it's hard to stop being involved
    once you've started!  In the process I found an activity I enjoy
    and am good at, and have begun the process of excelling at it. 
    I've also re-activated some things I used to do and had stopped
    doing, like baking bread.  I'm working on bagels now - getting them
    to come out right is going to be a real trick!
    
    Things that have dropped by the wayside are television, junk reading
    (I still am addicted to reading, though, I just don't spend time
    on reading all the ads that arrive in the house, and reading real
    trash books), eating to pass the time, and a few other useless
    activities.
    
    Not all the pieces have fallen into place - I can't claim that.
    But now it's much clearer what has to be done to get them to fall
    into place, and it's my choice as to when I'll do it.
    
    --Louise

    As far as setting goals for myself, I believe I'm at a growing(?)
    standstill in my life.  
    
    About 4 months ago, I outright quit my job with a prominent New
    England bank, Boston area, which I justified with:
       
        1.  It was an incredibly stressful situation, lacking any
            career growth or direction
    
            and
    
        2.  I needed to spend time putting the finishing touches on
            our new house (staining & polyurethaning woodwork & doors).
    
    
    Now, I am working at DEC under contract, and am continuing to struggle
    with my future career goals.  I know that I did the right thing
    to quit my previous job because it just "felt" all wrong for me,
    and that is generally how I make most of my decisions, gut instinct.
    
    The question I keep facing each day is, "Do I still want to pursue
    my career field, or am I looking for a COMPLETE change?".  I have
    always been in plain sight of what lies ahead, except when great
    opportunities have presented themselves and switched my course off-
    track a little.
    
    Somehow, even though it's frustrating me at this point in my life,
    I know I will (unconsiously ???) make a change!  But I don't know
    what it will be yet.  I have a few ideas in my mind, some of them
    are limited by lack of monetary resources, otherwise I'd jump right
    in.  
    
    So, how come I continue to interview with companies for my previous
    career field (see, I'm putting it in the past)?
    
    Am I chicken?   Can anyone shed some light on my dilemma or give
    me some advice as to how to go about FINDING and DOING what I want?
                                                                        
    Thanks for the space & time,   Pam