Conference quark::human_relations-v1

                       CHRISTMAS     HASSLE
    
    	I know what you mean when you talk about "Christmas stress"".
    	The problem here (Ireland) is that families come together from
    	all over the globe and sit around thChristmas dinner table and
    	with a few drinks ,well, the old rows start again.
    
    	My mother complains bitterly about christmas mainly due to the
    	fact she ends up having to prepare the dinner.
    
    	Any way I think Christmas is really for kids,I can remember
    	feeling that twinge of exitement/anticpation in the pit of my
    	stomach as soon as the date turned 20th of December...even though
    	there was 5 days to go.   
                                           
    	Paul
    

    I think the stress to have a "Merry" Christmas is created by society.
    It aggravates me to no end to see the stores full of Christmas things
    in October!  Unfortunately as each year passes this holiday is becoming
    more commercialized and the "true" meaning of Christmas is being
    lost.  We also create stress within ourselves by looking for "just
    the right gift" and racing around to get all our shopping done.
    
    This year I have vowed not to fall prey to the societal
    pressures to spend a fortune (which I don't have) and am rather
    looking forward to remembering friends and sharing the joys of 
    Christmas through my little boy's eyes.  
                                                            
    Peace,
    
    Wendy
    

    The commercialization of Christmas only gets to you if you *let*
    it, as does the "pressure" to have a Merry Christmas. Whether
    you believe in Christian Theology or not, Christmas is meant to
    be a celebration of peace and joy. I used to look forward to
    Christmas when I was a kid because it meant getting presents.
    As I grew older and started having to *buy* them, my enthusiasm
    dimmed as the tribulations of getting something for each person
    in the family (and others) got to be a bit much. By the time I
    hit my 20's, I started to *enjoy* finding gifts for people.
    
    Christmas is what *you* make it, not what anyone else expects
    you to have.
    
    --- jerry

    ..... joyful and triumphant!"
    
    Joyful and triumphant -- over what?  Succumbing to the big push,
    the rat race, the increased cashflow?
    
    Not me, not this year!  More so for the fact that I'm returning
    to the old ways -- gifts from the heart and hands -- and not
    getting caught up in the fever and "stress" of the season.
    
    Christmas IS what YOU make it.  Too many of us have let declining
    relationships, family bickering, societal pressures dictate how
    we react to Christmas.  I'm guilty on one or all counts for at
    least the last 10 years.  NO MORE!!!!
    
    Let's all revolt.  Bring joy back to the season, eliminate stress,
    make it a better time for everyone -- including ourselves.
    
    Julaine
    
   

    
    	  	-< A scarf for you, and a scarf for you, and... >-
    
    
    	Cristmas has been kind of dull the last couple of years.  Last
    year my spirit was so low that I bought scarves for everyone.  That's
    right, JM's was having a special.  "I'll take 17 scarves, please."
    It did make shopping real easy though and that was a relief.  And
    actually everyone kind of thought it was funny.  I thought it was
    lazy.
    
    	So lets get everybody going and start belting people with Christmas
    spirit.  I fact, this year I plan to reak of it.  People will say
    "Hey, you reak of Christmas spirit" and I'll just smile.
    
    
    	:-)
    

    I *LOVE* Christmas.  I like to see old friends, give gifts, spend
    time with family.  I can't wait for December 25!!!!!!!!!
    I enjoy the smell of a REAL tree, I like to string up cranberries
    and make my own decorations.  I love to bake cookies, play 
    Christmas albums, spoil my nephews, and just HAVE FUN!!
    
    I try to get all my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving
    because I don't like to fight the crowds at stores.  I also try
    to be very organized about activities over the holidays because
    I find it difficult to be in two places at once.  ;^)
    
    ITS THE BEST TIME OF YEAR!!!!!!!

    I don't believe Christmas is just for kids.  Christmas is still
    special and exciting for me now as it was when i was a kid in many
    ways.  I would like to know why many people think that.(christmas
    is just for kids)
    I believe Christmas is for everyone.  It shouldn't be different
    or have to change when we become adults.  Depending on the indivdual
    if so then fine,but does it have to be.
    
    I would say the only difference between now and then is that i do
    not experience the nervous feeling i used to get when we (brother
    and sisters) went to bed Christmas Eve knowing that Santa would
    be comming sometime during the night.          
    
    I wish the feeling and behavior Christmas brings to many would be
    felt year round.  But i'm just as guilt as any.
    
    It's definetly the best time of the year.                                       
    
    DLW

    re: .0 - .9
    
    Christmas is what *YOU* make it. For my mother, its the anniversary
    of her mothers death years before this. For me, I decided to make
    it *special* on one very, cold, lonely day while I was in post war
    Korea getting blottoed on whiskey.
    
    Even when I lived alone it was special to me, complete with tree
    and decorations.
    
    Shopping has never been a problem. I buy what seems right, for the
    joy is in the giving (although I don't like wrapping the da*m things).
    
    For the past few years I've been fortunate enough to have my mother
    at my house, where the spirit lasts all year ... we just sort of
    "memorialize" it on Christmas Day.
    
    This year it'll be a bit different in some ways, but the same in
    others. I'll have some of the "old" christmas ornaments thats been
    kicking around in my my mothers house for the past 50 years, and
    some longer than that. Some are cracked, and some are just downright
    ugly from wear and tear, but they provide a sort of continuity between
    the "childhood" christmas and "today" A few new ones to be bought
    this year, and probably some handmade stuff that kids always enjoy
    making.
    
    Then on Xmas eve, as we sit before the fire and watch lights flashing,
    and the flames leaping, I'll pause to remember ".. the christmas
    that wasn't .."; and remind ourselves of Biaffra, Korea, Vietnam,
    Russia, and a few other times ... sort of like a "hanukkah" with
    a twist ... to remember the bitterness of past history, and to renew
    the hopes for a future history where EVERYone can celebrate their
    own holidays without fear of reprisal for having an opinion that
    diverges from the current political opinions.

    Bob_looking_beyond_mythology_toward_humanity

    RE: .8
    
    Bob, that was a very touching, beautiful note.
    
    It sent chills up my spine and brought tears to my eyes.
    
    Christmas time is for everybody, regardless of religion or lack
    of it.
    
    Each time I hear FFrank Sinatra's "Have Yourself A Merry Little
    Christmas" played, I'm always drawn in by the words..........
    
       Here we are as in Olden days,
       Carefree golden days, of yore,
       Faithful friends who were dear to us,
       Will be near to us, once more.
    
       Someday, soon, we all will be together,
       If the Fates allow,
       Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow,
       So have Yourself a merry little Christmas, now.
    
       Alan

    I feel that people who are disappointed or disillusioned by Christmas
    have set themselves up for it by having expectations that are too
    high.  They passively expect the "holiday spirit" to create their
    good times for them.  I *consciously* enjoy Christmas.
    

>    	Someone told me that Christmas time is either the most exhilirating
>     time or the most depressing time of the year. It is certainly true
>     that there are more suicides amd marriage breakups over Christmas
>     than at any other time of the year ...

	Unfortunately, Christmas is a very depressing time of year for many.
      Some of you have said that Christmas is what you make of it.  While I
      won't disagree, I have been involved intimately with a couple of
      people on the brink of suicide because they felt that *no one* cared
      for them at all.  They had been rejected by their families, had been
      abused, divorced, and because of circumstances that weren't totally in
      their control, had grown up not learning certain skills necessary to
      make friends.

	While the rest of the year wasn't great for these two people, the
      holidays just re-emphasized the fact that they had no one close to them.
      Wouldn't that depress you ?

I was just reading in "Psychology Today" magazine that holidays do
*not* have a higher rate of suicides than other times of the year.

/Eric

    It's probably just that holiday suicides are more "noticible"
    or higher profile. Who cares about someone killing himself on
    June 17? But on Christmas...
    
    --- jerry

    I happened to be listening to my (new) CD of Emerson, Lake, and
    Palmer's WORKS, VOLUME 2 --- the song "I Believe in Father
    Christmas". Toward the end is the line:
    
    	"...be it Heaven or Hell,
    	 the Christmas you get you deserve"
    
    Now that sounds very callous, but at the heart of it is the truth.
    
    About ten years ago, I and a number of friends (one couple, about
    a half-dozen singles) would get together on Christmas Eve, go out
    to dinner, and then retire to the couple's place for some good
    conversation. We did this for something like three years and then
    stopped for whatever reason (if any).
    
    Perhaps I was lucky in having friends that were interested in
    getting together because none of us had other commitments. But
    there are all sorts of things one can do for Christmas if you
    don't have friends or family to spend it with. Like what? Well,
    if I was in that situation, the first thing I would do is to get
    in touch with a charity organization that puts on Christmas dinners
    for the homeless or the elderly and volunteer to help. This would
    (1) enable you to spend Christmas with others (you may even make
    new friends), and (2) help people who need it, which if nothing
    else, is what the "Christmas Spirit" is all about.
    
    The thing to remember is that you have to *work* at it. Sitting
    around expecting "peace and joy" to be delivered to you on a
    silver platter is fruitless. *That's* what "the Christmas you get
    you deserve" means.
    
    --- jerry

    
    	re. 15
    
    	february....

    re: .17
    
    Hmmm.  Any mention of St. Valentine's Day?
             
    
    DFW

    I just read that the highest suicide rate is during April and May.
     I will have to reread the article I read.

    re: .15
    		How about April 15 when Uncle Sam comes knockin for
    the rent:-)

    re.15,.20
    i was told by my psychology teacher that it was april too.
    
    
    kelly

    I absolutely love the Christmas season.  I'm sure most of you would
    also if you took the time to look at the true meaning of Christmas
    instead of succumbing to the sensationalism of the press (i.e.
    suicides, depression, commercialism, etc).
    
    Suggestions:
    
    My mom always told us that Christmas spirit was based on *your*
    making someone else happy - not dwelling on your problems.  Take
    a look around you - others are worse off!
    
    Count your blessings - 
    - are you and your family in good health
    - do you have a roof over your head, a bed, a blanket, food?
    
    Don't succumb to overspending on Christmas.  The gifts should be
    from the heart.  Teach your children this!  A box of home baked
    cookies, homemade bread, jams, ceramics, pottery, photographs or
    any hobby that is a part of you is a beautiful gift.  I treasure
    those gifts more than any sweater or scarf bought in a department
    store with a credit card.
    
    Goodness knows, my mom was Mrs. Christmas and I miss her terribly.
    I could dwell on my losing her and others that have meant so much
    to me -- but I don't!  Mom now is the extra twinkle on my Christmas
    tree and the "spirit in the eggnog".  She's with us know as she
    always was.  She's our Christmas "spirit" and I know she wouldn't
    want it any other way!
    
    Bless all of you in this upcoming holiday season!
    
    Debra

    
    reply .23:
    
    		That was just beautiful! I've got to find some Kleenex.
    
    
    Dan
    
    

    
    
    Re: .23
    
    
                             Finally !!
    
    

    RE: .24  re: .23            
    
    And I thought it was just me who had tears streaming down. 
    
    Deb, your mother's spirit, through you, has touched us all.
    
      "Someday soon we all will be together,
       
       If the Fates allow,
       .
       .
       .   
    
      "So have yourself a Merry, little Christmas.......now."
    
     Alan
    
    

    
    	re. a few back...
    
    	i had gotten that little piece of information from my psyche
    	professor ....